[Assistant]
High Tide!
Flashback:Wolverine recalls: It was a long time ago, him and Charlie. On the bad news side of the Berlin Wall. Fifty Soviet operatives fired a hundred rounds of ammunition at them. They didn’t fall down. Ticked them off. It’s hard to tell your CO you couldn’t take down two crummy agents. Then they came at them with bottles, bricks whatever. Went a little crazy. They still didn’t fall. The Soviets died wondering why.
Then the second string arrived. Covert KGB posing as German townsfolk. Some of them were blowing covers they’d spent years developing. It cost the Soviets a lot.
They wanted Charlie that bad. They wanted Charlie dead. But for that they had to go through Wolverine.
Charlie was his best friend. Charlie’s short for Charlemagne and was a freelance agents working for whoever had the money. Whoever in this case was the KGB. Charlie took the job, despite Wolverine’s warning. Both knew what had to be done.
Charlie asks Logan not to do it, warning him about the cost, but then Charlie realizes this is a waste of time. Wolverine lets the injured Charlie lie there and goes berserk on the agents, smiling all the time.
Finally, Wolverine recovers his sense. He is left with the corpses. Charlie’s gone, leaving behind only a small, golden, heart-shaped charm. Charlie’s way of saying “I won.” Charlie’s corny little trademark. They both survived. Wolverine never saw Charlie after that night again.
New York City, today:Saturday night: Spider-Man swings through Manhattan, looking for some action to get some photos to sell when he hears a scream. He looks down to see as young teenager running down Ninth Avenue.
Momentarily, he is distracted by the woman the girl jostles, an attractive well-dressed woman with chin-long auburn hair but he decides to focus on the girl, figuring it is nothing worse than a lovers’ spat.
Spidey jokingly asks what’s with the water works. Sophie… Burt… the girls sobs and Spidey chides himself an idiot. He swings away toward the mom and pop store Sophie and Burt own. He likes them and figures they are being robbed.
He burst inside the store and finds the middle-aged couple dead, killed professionally, a bullet hole in the forehead each. Feeling ghoulish, Spider-Man nevertheless takes pictures to sell to the Daily Bugle.
Later at the Daily Bugle:Editor Cate Cushing tells Peter the pics will make the front page and jokes those are good pictures, so who took them? Usually his pictures look like he stuck the camera to the wall and put it on auto shutter.
That moment, J. Jonah Jameson enters and is uncharacteristically nice to Peter. He tells him he needs fine young photographers, experts for his Now Magazine. But since there aren’t any here, he will give Peter a chance. Peter weakly protest that every assignment Jonah sends him on ends with him getting shot at. Jonah won’t hear of it and tells him about a new assignment in El Salvador.
That moment, journalist Ned Leeds urgently needs to speak to Jonah. Peter takes the opportunity to give them the slip. Peter runs to Aunt May’s home. With the train having broken down, he is late for dinner. Mary Jane Watson welcomes him with a grin and a sarcastic greeting. While Aunt May’s roommates argue, she welcomes him gladly. Glory Grant from the Bugle informed her he was at work. May tells him and MJ to go. They are late as it is.
After the action movie at Times Square, MJ suggests they go dancing but Peter’s spider-sense goes on, then off again. It does a few times and he realizes there has to be gun trained at him. There has to be a sniper. He orders MJ to leave the street then ducks into a back alley to change. He suddenly hears screams. He is too late, though. The feeling has passed and now a cop fires at him. He swings away, sick at his inability to do something.
He’s waiting inside Mary Jane Watson’s apartment when she arrives. She doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t let her get a word in edgewise. She looks through the pictures in an old photo album of them and their friends during their college days. She wonders what happened to those happy kids, while he chafes at his uselessness. She gets up and tells him to stop. He is wearing a hole into the carpet. There was nothing he could do. He suddenly kisses her to forget the pain and she reciprocates before breaking it off. Peter realizes he crossed one of the lines. He gets up and leaves.
In the meantime, Ned Leeds is discussing his scoop with Jameson. Has he looked at the list? It’s the same people. The two nice shopkeepers were really KGB. The two pedestrians murdered by sniper fire on Times Square -- KGB. Several other John and Janes Does have turned up at the coroners recently. They are all on the list.
Peter, in the meantime, is throwing a tantrum, vowing he is done with being Spider-Man.
Unusually calm, Jonah warns Ned to be sure of his facts. He asks about the ballistics design. All the same gun, he is told. Nine millimeter. European design.
Peter is packing, deciding to go away. He doesn’t pack his costume. He very deliberately wants to leave Spider-Man behind.
Jonah asks Ned about the charms. Keychains with heart-shaped pendants, he is told. A warning. A trademark. It’s Charlemagne. The mysterious freelance operative from the Cold War days. He is back. And for some reason, he is hunting down his former clients.
Peter has finished packing but still doesn’t know where to go, apart from ‘away.’
Jonah agrees he is sold. What does Ned need? Money and a photo man. One good at dodging bullets…
Peter’s phone rings. He expects Mary Jane, but it’s Jonah with a job offer…
West Berlin:Potsdamer Platz looks a lot different, Wolverine muses. Back then, nobody would have had the poor taste to put a Burger King here. It’s three o’ clock in the morning. He thinks it’s noon. He’s been here for days but his body still operates on Eastern Standard Time. Not that it makes much difference. He doesn’t sleep anyway, now that Charlie’s back. He got Charlie’s message. Enough people died for it. Course, they were all KGB. All from the same operation years ago. All scum. He wishes he’d done it.
Flashback:When he heard the news, it didn’t take much for him to put two and two together. He checked with a “pal.” Got the list of the dead. All former spies, now retired teachers and shopkeepers.
He began to pack. The press are looking for a theme to connect the killings. He calls it justice. But he wonders, why now?
Storm angrily demanded he stay. She reminded him they had been infiltrated… attacked. They don’t know who to trust. They must stay together! He replied he had to go. Charlie’s a friend. Havok’s point that they are his friends too fell on deaf ears.
Present:Logan feels bad for leaving his family when they need him most but tells himself he is doing the right thing. He’s spent days in Berlin, looking for Charlie. No trace but then Charlie is good. If Charlie doesn’t want to be found, Charlie won’t be found.
He realizes two men have been following for several blocks. Too clumsy for KGB. He pegs them for ordinary muggers. As he attacks, he is actually trying to save their lives, attempting to get them to flee before his KGB tails become interested in them, but the would-be muggers run in the wrong direction and the KGB finishes them off.
The two KGB men address him in Russian. He tells them to back off. They aren’t impressed. He begins to smile…
However, the two men aren’t stupid and get the message. They walk off. Soon there is a familiar scent on the wind. Charlie! He follows the men into the bushes, to find their corpses. Two more for the list… Charlie allowed him to get the scent. Charlie is here in West Berlin, settling old scores.
Later, he is on the crowded Kurfürstendamm, Berlin’s answer to Broadway. He avoids the tourist traps and fights off a bout of depression. Where the heck is Charlie and why do they have to play this stupid game? It’s been days now and he’s starting to worry about the folks at home. He’s starting to think about leaving. He can’t pick out his new KGB tail yet, but is sure they are in the crowd. He’s genuinely surprised when he picks up another familiar scent. Past him walk Peter Parker and Ned Leeds. Ned tells Peter to stay calm. Ninety percent of investigative journalism is waiting. Pete impatiently replies he has a life stateside. They’ve been here for days and no sign of this Charlemagne guy.
Logan has never seen Spider-Man without his mask before but identifies him by scent.
Later, in his hotel room, Logan meditates wondering what Spider-Man is doing here. He’s been on their side before but is he connected to this spy thing? Has he been turned? He is too strong and dangerous to walk around loose. He has to check him out. Either he’s clean or…
In his hotel room, Peter is calling Aunt May and assures her he is eating right and he brought a sweater. His hopes that Mary Jane may have called are not fulfilled, however.
He has barely ended the phone call when Logan announces his presence at the window. He states they have to talk. But not here. Peter plays dumb and Logan searches though his luggage. He shows him the web shooters and announces he knows who he is. Let’s go. Peter admits he has not brought a suit. He doesn’t need one, Logan replies and jumps out of the window.
Peter follows and, as they swing and jump around the roofs, Logan informs him about the two would-be muggers who were killed at the Tiergarten last night. He doesn’t know why Peter is here but things are gonna get ugly. Logan orders him to return home. Forget him. Stay alive. That a threat? Peter demands. No is the reply. Peter asks if this has to do with the Charlemagne guy Ned is after. Logan repeats his order and suggests he take his reporter friend along. He warns him, he is way in above his head.
Twenty minutes later, Peter is walking barefoot through his hotel lobby. He decides to tell Ned he is splitting. Not so much because Wolverine rattled him, but because he has to fix things with Mary Jane. Soon, he stands at Ned’s door and notices it is open. When Ned doesn’t reply, Peter enters.
He tries to scream but can’t. Ned sits tied to a chair, his throat cut. Peter can’t breathe. He doesn’t even notice his Spider-sense until he sees the armed men surrounding him and Ned’s corpse. “Bist du veranwortlich für das?” one of them asks. “Für wen arbeitest du?” Peter doesn’t understand the German. The man repeats his questions in Russian, again asking if he did that and who he works for.
That moment, Wolverine comes slamming through the window. He stands between Peter and the goons. When they fire, he quickly takes them out. He grabs Peter and drags him outside, announcing that reinforcements are coming up. He tells him again to get lost before he vanishes.
Peter is at the bus station, planning to get a bus to the airport. Only problem: if Wolverine hadn’t led Pete away from the hotel earlier, Ned might not have got killed. He can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys anymore. But he can’t forget Uncle Ben’s words: ‘With great power comes great responsibility.’ He is standing in line, lost in thought, while a growing line of impatient Germans behind him is telling him to move along. Peter leaves the line. He has decided. He can’t leave Berlin yet.
By the time he finds a costume shop in Berlin, it’s closed but luckily the shopkeeper is still there. Peter pleads with him to open - it’s an emergency. The man sighs and opens.
They don’t have shoes, he announces in German with a look at Peter’s feet. Not understanding, Peter replies, same to him. Skimming through his dictionary, Peter tries badly to explain he needs a black body suit. Mercifully, the man replies in in perfect English that he doesn’t have any bodysuits at all. All sold out. In fact, the only thing like that in the store isn’t for sale. It’s for his son who is wearing it at a party tomorrow. But it’s not black and it is rather silly looking. He brings out a red and blue Spider-Man suit. Peter inwardly wishes to die.
Peter manages to convince the man to sell him the outfit and he soon swings over the rooftops, the words die Spinne on his back. He had put a tracker on Wolverine earlier. Following the tracker, he soon realizes that Wolverine has gone over the Wall into East Berlin.
A pair of West German border guards walk by, talking about the one man’s wife’s abysmal Strudel. Not understanding German, Spidey figures they talk about the number of people they shot trying to cross the Wall. When they pass by, he makes his attempt to cross the Wall. That moment, the guards return, one of them having lost his lighter. “Die Spinne!” one of them shouts. Spider-Man wonders if he will get shot when he jumps over the Wall. But the guards just stare in disbelief, as do other locals as he quickly jumps, wondering why nobody is trying to stop him.
As he jumps over the wall, his danger sense tingles as two East German guards on a watchtower try to shoot him He lands in no-man’s-land between the two German states. He realizes it’s a mine field. Still fired at, he crosses over to East Germany, scared out of his wits. He runs into an East German border patrol. He uses their confusion cracks some jokes and races over their heads.
Spider-Man follows Wolverine’s tracker to a hotel and crashes through the window, demanding some answers. The couple in the bed is very confused. He finds his tracer on a chair pinned to a note with the message “You’re in way over your head, bub. Go home.” Angrily, Spidey rolls it up and crunches the tracker.
Wolverine, in the meantime, is in what used to be a steel mill outside East Berlin. But actually it was a KGB front. All the people who worked there are dead. He counts up to the double digits. The kills are fresh. He follows the scent and finally finds Charlie in an office, calmly sitting on the desk, dressed in overall, cap and sunglasses, just like old times.
Is that get-up for his benefit? Logan snarls. ”You’ve been ying-yanging me all over this burg for too long. I ought to punch your lights out!” He takes off the cap and sunglasses to reveal the beautiful auburn-haired woman Spider-Man noticed on Times Square earlier. Charlie greets him with a hello and a kiss then takes him to her large house in the hills outside East Berlin.
A servant brings her a robe, while Charlie explains she made a lot of money on her assignments, stored in several accounts. She is leaving it to Logan when she is gone. He ever run through the fields at springtime? she reminisces. Taste the air, that sweet atmosphere? The hills are gone now. Someone put up an office building. They were so young; they lived life on the edge. He warned her of the price such a life entailed. She should have got out long ago, he agrees. She loved the life of danger, Charlie admits. More than she loved him. Now she knows too much. She’s too hot. She’s been marked. Every intelligence agency in the world is after her. She won’t be able to hide. He carries her up the stairs as he promises she won’t need to hide. He’s here now.
He stays with Charlie for a while. He contacts the X-Men, who are as okay as they can be at the moment. Charlie is going stir-crazy, so they go to restaurant, the Ganymed in Friedrich-Strasse. Wolverine feels the place is too high profile. Charlie retorts that the bad guys will find them eventually either way. He wonders if she can still tell who the bad guys are.
They try to enjoy dinner. When dessert comes, Charlie stops smiling. A few seconds later, Logan realizes why. The fruit he is holding is poisoned. Sloppy. He announces, they better go. And ruin their meal? she asks, then informs him that everyone in the room is heavily armed. They will attack soon enough. Let’s not spoil things.
That moment, the doors from the kitchen burst open and some of the kitchen staff are thrown into the room by Spider-Man, who asks what one has to do to get a menu. He greets Wolverine. Did he know the fruit were poisoned? Yes, is the reply. Did they know they are trapped? Yes. Did they know everyone in here is packing hardware? Yes. Just how bad has he just screwed up? Spidey asks sheepishly. Real bad. What should he do now?
Duck! Wolverine shouts as they are attacked. Spidey jumps to the ceiling and wants to stay there. Seeing the others taking cover and Charley taking out her gun, he figures this is their idea of a good time.
Wolverine extends his claws and grins and the fight really starts. Spider-Man tries to keep out of harm’s way and is really creeped out by Wolverine’s smile.
He tells Wolverine he can’t find his lady friend in the smoke and is told she disappeared some time ago. So why was he still fighting? Spidey asks as they jump outside through a window. Wolverine explains that Spider-Man goofed up real bad. He had to take his anger out on somebody.
Wolverine changes into his costume and they begin their search for Charlie. Logan explains that she’s scared. She knows she is as good as dead and has nowhere to run. Way back when a core group of KGB agents hired her for a gig and tried to terminate her afterwards. She took that real personal. She’s going around killing all the members of that group before she is killed.
Some of those agents are holed up in the basement of that house. They are armed. So what’s the plan? Spidey asks. He knows what the plan is, comes the reply and with that Wolverine springs into action. Hiya Heinrich, he greets one of the men inside. It’s been a while. Can’t say he’s missed them. He tears into the men without hesitation, while Spider-Man freezes up, afraid of killing someone.
With the fight over, Wolverine kicks in a door and orders him to shine the light he saw on his bat-belt earlier. If Charlie’s here, she’s probably down there. There are a few dead bodies at the bottom of the stairs, causing Wolverine to figure Charlie’s already been here. She’ll keep killing. She’s desperate now. Even though the guys are all scum, she has to be stopped. He tells Spidey to come on. They have work to do. Spider-Man hesitates, wanting out of this. But then he remembers Ned.
They visit several spy fronts Wolverine knows. Charlemagne is always a few steps ahead of them. Wolverine admires her and Spider-Man worries about him.
The last front, the last bodies. Angrily, Wolverine states she’s got all the names on her list and it’s Spider-Man’s fault - if he had gone home like Wolverine told him to, he could have kept a lid on her. Then he comes with his cute little song and dance at the restaurant.
Angrily, Spidey shouts he was trying to save Wolverine’s life. Far as he is concerned, Wolverine and his lunatic bimbo ought to be locked up! Wolverine warns him not to push it. Spider-Man turns around announcing he’s out of here.
Later, Wolverine meditates and admits to himself he was too hard on the kid. If he’s smart, he’s halfway back to New York now. He’ll look him up there later and explain things. Charlie killed everyone on the list. Her life ain’t worth a nickel. He knows what she wants with him now. The game makes sense now. He is waiting for her to contact him. That moment, the phone rings.
In the meantime, Peter tosses and turns in his bed. He struggles with Wolverine’s accusations; that those deaths are his fault and he can’t stop thinking about Ned Leeds.
The Soviet cemetery at Treptow:Wolverine greets Charlie. She got them all. Happy? Phoning him was stupid. They’ll find out. She doesn’t have much time. He figures they would kill her slowly and painfully. Sooner or later, her luck will run out. She’s facing the inevitable. If she has to die, she wants to die in his arms. They embrace. She tells him, if he ever loved her, he will spare her the KGB torture camps. She is his best friend . He loves her very much but, when he tries to kill her, he flinches.
Before he can work up the conviction to go through with it, his arm is caught by Spider-Man’s webbing. Spidey accuses him of being absolutely nuts. Killing his own girlfriend? What maniac is he? Logan tells him to back off. He is doing this for Charlie! No chance, man! Spider-Man shouts and jumps at him. He dodges Wolverine’s blow and tells him he’s gone completely bonkers. He won’t let him kill her!
Wolverine shouts that she is suffering! She is dying slowly and painfully and he has to end her pain! Even if he’s gotta go through him!
Spider-Man is frightened, realizing Wolverine is like nothing he’s ever fought before. He’s scared and out of his depth and finally manages to throw Wolverine against a headstone. He hits him again and again but Wolverine just doesn’t stop smiling. He finally realizes there is only one way to stop him. That one of them is going to die tonight.
He lets Wolverine tackle him. Wolverine is above him and Spider-Man realizes he has to snap his neck. Wolverine tells him he hasn’t got the guts to kill, whereas he just needs to pop his claws. He told him: he was in way over his head. Wolverine coulda cooled Charlie down, stop the killing. Now they are coming to kill her slow and painful. He can do it quick. He calls Spider-Man a little snot and tells him to stop judging him. His principles don’t apply here. There ain’t no right or wrong. There ain’t no law.
Then they hear the helicopter. Wolverine slinks back into the shadows but Spider-Man is paralyzed. Suddenly, his spider-sense alerts him to a danger behind him. Believing it’s Wolverine, he hits… hard. Only to realize a moment later that it was Charlie.
Wolverine gathers her in his arms. Weakly, she tells him they did it. Their enemies never won. He tells her it didn’t have to be that way. They could have walked away. He’s a poor liar, she chuckles. There’s no place for them in this world. She’ll meet him in the next. With that, she dies.
Wolverine knows that she died on her terms. Charlie used Spider-Man to commit suicide. She got what she wanted. And he’s going to spend the rest of his life coming to terms with this.
They’ve got other problems now, as agents from every agency close in. Wolverine realizes the kill order was international, a joint effort. He’s angrier than he’s been in years and wants to show them what is inside of him. Instead, he gives them what they want. She is dead, he pronounces. The lights go out and then they are gone.
Wolverine tells Spider-Man they have to leave. The best way is through customs. Nobody risks their lives going over the Wall anymore.
Spider-Man is too depressed to be embarrassed. Wolverine gets them fake passports. While he passes the border, the situation replays in Peter’s mind. Logan is taking a later plane, saying he’s got things to do. They don’t say goodbye. Not much point in it. Again and again, Peter relives the memory of Charlie’s death.
He makes it home around ten. The bills got there first. He gathers up the costume, trying to blame this on him. But there is no point: Spider-Man and he are the same person. He looks at the phone. It rings. He takes the call, expecting more bad news.
It’s Jameson and he’s in a good mood, having gotten the film in an overseas pouch. Charlemagne is real and he’s a she and she’s dead. Maybe Peter isn’t such a bad photographer. So where’s Ned? Peters ends the call. He should tell Jameson before the authorities do but he can’t.
Somebody knocks at the door. It’s Mary Jane. He figures he’s not ready for this but she smiles and asks if they are still friends. He could use a friend right now, he replies. She hugs him and welcomes him back to his world. He holds her tight. He closes his eyes. They make the pain go away.


[User]
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Provide a full summary of the comic book.

[Assistant]
Criminal at Large
Spider-Woman finds herself in dire straits and on the news as policemen lead her away in handcuffs from the San Francisco Mint, believing her one of the culprits who robbed the Vibranium. Unexpectedly, Spider-Woman wriggles out of the cop’s grip, tears apart her handcuffs with her super-strength and flies away. The cop she hit intends to shoot her, but his colleague reminds him that spent shells could hit innocent civilians when they fall down to Earth. They have to let her go. Annoyed, the cop orders the reporters to clear out.
Spider-Woman flies upwards in the night air, hurt and angry. She had had such hopes when she came to this city, now all of a sudden she finds herself branded a criminal. She quickly recalls the events that led to this.
Flashback:
She had just met her landlord, David Ishima, at the party her roommate, Lindsay, threw. When David showed her his garden, she was felled by an agonizing ultra-sonic scream. She slipped away and traced it to the Mint, which was being looted. Spider-Woman ambushed the group’s leader - Black Tom Cassidy - only to be confronted by Siryn, a teenager who manipulated sound. Spider-Woman won their battle, but was then was surprised by the Juggernaut. By the time she woke up again, she found herself surrounded by the police.
present:
Flying towards and entering her home, Jessica realizes that her name won’t be cleared until she catches Black Tom and his group. But how can she find them? She toys with the thought of dropping her Spider-Woman identity, but wouldn’t it be a waste not to use her powers? She wishes she could talk to Lindsay about this, but her roommate doesn’t know about her secret life. And Jessica’s afraid that she will react he same instinctive disgust towards her as the New Men at Wundagore did. As Jessica agonizes over her decisions, she is unaware that somebody has scanned and is following her, several members of the X-Men in fact, who wonder whether or not she is a criminal.
Having changed back into ordinary clothes, Jessica rejoins the party, which is still in full swing. Lindsay asks her where she was – they were all worried. Jessica quickly lies that she went for a walk to clear her head and got lost. Something that happens even to natives, David assures her and inquires how her head is. As the doorbell rings, Lindsay first asks Jessica to go but, realizing how entranced she and David are and not wanting to spoil the moment, she goes herself – only to face three people she’s never seen before: Storm, Angel and Colossus in civilian clothes. Storm introduces herself simply as Ororo and Warren, oozing with charm, tells Lindsay that he knows Ben Disraeli – Lindsay’s boss – and was told it was okay to crash their party. Lindsay welcomes them and calls for Jessica, explaining that Warren is on the board of directors at the theatre where she works. Warren greets Ben while Lindsay talks with Peter. The X-Men are, however, there for business and Storm takes Jessica aside, asking if they can talk in private. They’d like to know where she was forty minutes ago and what she was doing as Spider-Woman.
Jessica quickly leads the three X-Men into her own room and tells them she’d like an explanation. So would they, Ororo replies and shows her pictures they’ve taken of her as Spider-Woman. Jessica asks if they are with the police and assures them she is innocent. The X-Men explain who and what they are and that they came to San Francisco to contact a new mutant they’d detected. Their sensor led them to the Mint. Jessica protests that she isn’t a mutant. However, Black Tom, Juggernaut and a girl named Siryn were there as well. Do those names mean anything to the X-Men? Of course they do, save for Siryn. Colossus explains how they have fought Black Tom and Juggernaut before and how he for one wouldn’t mind a rematch to even the score. Angel plays the voice of reason pointing out that Juggernaut alone is bad enough. If he has partners, they need reinforcements.
There’s no time, Jessica protests. The villains will probably want to get the stolen Vibranium out of the country as quickly as possible. A delay could be fatal, especially to her. Storm agrees and the four of them leave the party with Jessica, telling Lindsay that she has business to take care of. David wonders if they should be worried and Lindsay tells him off, explaining that it is nice to care – so does she – but Jessica doesn’t need to be crowded at this stage of her life.
Having recalibrated their portable mini-Cerebro to track Black Tom and Juggernaut’s patterns, the heroes have followed the villains’ traces to a freighter in Suisuin Bay, up the Sacramento River. Storm hides their arrival with fog.
Inside the freighter, Black Tom’s busy admiring his ill-gained goods – one hundred kilos of pure Vibranium – and wonders how much the US government – or other states – will pay for it. He already dreams of their riches and shouts for Siryn and Juggernaut to help pack up the booty when, suddenly, something hits the ship from above. “Something” being Colossus, whom Storm simply dropped onto the ship. However, the impact was harder than expected plunging Colossus all the way through the anchored vessel. Fortunately, not needing any air Colossus climbs up the chain anchoring the ship.
On the ship, Tom hands Juggernaut the Vibranium and orders Theresa to go topside but stay under cover until they know whom they face. With all the water entering the ship through the hole, the girl is getting panicky. They aren’t not going to drown, are they? Tom tells her to relax and is reminded that, despite her demeanor, Siryn is still little more than a child. Juggernaut warns them that the ship won’t stay afloat much longer when, suddenly, he gets hit by a lightning bolt. Theresa screams in horror that the bolt disintegrated him. Tom corrects her – it merely knocked Juggernaut into the hole – and he’s got an idea now who’s behind this. He orders the girl to run interference while he handles the Vibranium.
Eager to please her uncle, the girl hurries outside the room, only to find that SpiderWoman’s been expecting her. Spider-Woman jumps straight at her. With the other woman in tow, Siryn cuts loose and flies straight up and out of the ship, her scream paralyzing her foe, who’s holding onto the girl. Helpless, Jessica falls, only to be caught by the Angel, who needles her a bit about her performance and wonders if there is a connection between Siryn and his former teammate, Banshee, given their similar costumes and powers.
Still in the air, he suddenly sees a giant pterosaur appearing in front of him. By the time he realizes that it is merely a sonic hologram, created by Siryn, it’s too late. Employing vibrational harmonics to manipulate the chemical balance of Angel’s brain, she’s hypnotized him. Since the imbalance is akin to poison though, the stunt doesn’t work on Spider-Woman though. She becomes immune to poison after an initial encounter and she’s recently faced a similar situation battling Angar the Screamer.
On Siryn’s order, Angel drops Spider-Woman, who finds that Siryn can’t use her powers on both her and Angel. She is once more in control of her movements and flies over the water chased by the Angel. In the meantime, Colossus has almost finished his long climb up, only to be expected by the Juggernaut, who threatens to “pound his steel bod into so much scrap.”
Elsewhere, Tom finds parts of the ship frozen. Storm’s creating a limited blizzard effect, trying to freeze them. He considers that Siryn and Juggernaut seem to be doing well so far with their foes, but also wonders if that is all there is too come. Could the X-Men be so foolish as to attack with only a hand full of people? He decides to radio Siryn and turn her loose on Storm instead of Spider-Woman. The X-Men will learn that they are not the only ones who can use teamwork. It will be their last lesson, he grimly vows.
Juggernaut tosses Colossus up in the air, reminding him that during their last battle the better man – him – won. That’s not about to change. Colossus corrects him: the stronger man won. Juggernaut sees no difference and suddenly finds his foe gone. Colossus sneaks up on him from behind, tearing away the steel ground beneath his foe’s feet, thus tossing Juggernaut into the water. He has learned to fight with his brains as well as his fists by now, Colossus concludes, hoping Juggernaut will enjoy his swim. He supposes that Juggernaut’s weight will pull him down, taking him out of the fight for a little while.
Up in the air, Storm, unaware that her teammate has been hypnotized, is joined by Angel, who proceeds to attack her. Tom angrily realizes that Siryn has disobeyed, siccing Angel on Storm instead of doing the job herself. Using his power, he shoots a bolt of energy focussed through his shillelagh at Storm and misses. However, as the beam blows through the freighter’s superstructure, pieces of the ship hit Storm, forcing her to crash-land on the ship. Injured, she calls on a hurricane gust of wind to keep Angel and Black Tom away from her.
Colossus joins her, asking if she is all right. He tells her to tend to Angel, he will take care of Tom. Black Tom fires another bolt of energy at the young Russian, boasting that his bio-blasts can wreck a tank. Colossus isn’t a tank, though, and he remains unfazed and knocks his foe out.
Siryn, in the meantime, is still chasing Spider-Woman through the ship. Using her power like a sonar, she catches a glimpse of what she believes to be Spider-Woman behind her and uses her sonic powers to cut right through her foe. Too late, she realizes what she has done and screams in grief, until she is knocked out by the real Spider Woman’s sonic blast. Jessica had just used her costume stuffed with packing material as a decoy while she hid in the shadows.
After tying Siryn up and getting dressed in what’s left of her costume, Spider-Woman takes Siryn ashore and flies back to join the X-Men, only to be told by Angel that she looks a mess. They realize that Juggernaut is still free and he is the one foe who makes all the difference, Warren points out.
Spider-Woman has an idea. She asks Colossus to wrap a length of wire-cable around the steel masts and Colossus obliges. Warren asks “what gives, webs?” and Colossus, who’s noticed that Angel has been picking on Spider-Woman all night, suggests he start using her name. Spider-Woman explains that she can generate bio-electricity and Storm generates lightning. If they lure Juggs between those two poles, perhaps they can create an artificial arc strong enough to stun him. Colossus agrees, offering to lure Juggernaut into place. When he gives the signal, Angel is to fly him out.
The others hide as Juggernaut digs his way out to be faced by Colossus. Juggernaut tells him they are a lot alike: big, strong, slow-talking, but neither of them is stupid. Colossus facing Juggernaut alone is stupid. He smells a trap… Colossus taunts if he is afraid and throws a solid steel hatch cover at his foe. Juggernaut catches it, presses it together and threatens to do the same to Colossus. Juggernaut tackles Colossus while the others watch helplessly. Colossus surprises them all by switching into his smaller human form, allowing him to wriggle out if the Juggernaut’s grip. Angel flies in and grabs Colossus and the ladies do their thing generating electricity at the two poles Juggernaut resists as they give their all, until finally the ship gets blown apart by the energy they generated. The X-Men and Spider-Woman escape to the shore, wondering whether Juggernaut survived, only to be expected by the police and paramedics.
Seeing the stunned Theresa, Tom threatens they’ll regret it if they’ve harmed her in any way. She’s just stunned Spider-Woman, explains, but if he truly cared for her, he shouldn’t have allowed the girl to follow into his footsteps. Surprisingly, Tom agrees. He turns to the officers and exonerates both Siryn and Spider-Woman from any guilt, claiming that he and the Juggernaut alone were responsible for the robbery. He turns to Storm, asking her to take care of his niece.
One of the policemen grudgingly tells Spider-Woman she is free, but tells her in the same breath that they don’t much care for vigilantes. In this town, the police enforce the law, not the heroes. She’s not their enemy, Spider-Woman protests. Maybe not, the cop replies, but she’s a long way from being a friend. Nice guy, Angel states sarcastically. Surprisingly, Spider-Woman defends the cop and wonders whether he hasn’t got a point. Are superheroes more of a hindrance than help when operating outside society? Storm gently asks whether they should idly stand by when society is threatened because of their lack of official sanction.
Questions that haunt Jessica over the next weeks as she puts the finishing touches on her new life. The X-Men, in the meantime, have returned to Westchester with Siryn to reunite her with her long lost father, Banshee. Jessica envies Siryn a bit. The only family she has is the one she’ll make for herself, but a least she has wonderful friends. She also has an open invitation to visit the X-Men and intends to take them up on it soon, once her business is running.
She enters her new office, which she chose because the building was built the year she was born. She thinks to herself that if she hadn’t spent thirty years in suspended animation at Wundagore, she’d be middle-aged now. Instead, she’s only starting out. She unpacks her newly-framed private investigator license and hangs it on the wall, thinking to herself that this is the best solution to her questions: as a PI. She’ll work within the system, but yet in her own way.


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[Assistant]
Out of Orbit, chapter one: You Are My Sunshine
Kitty Pryde is a jerk! Peter Quill aka Star-Lord tells Gamora aboard his ship which is a mess and has seen better times.
Peter Quill is a jerk! Kitty Pryde tells Rocket Raccoon on a planet.
The ship:Clearly disgusted by the state of their surroundings, Gamora reminds him he said that three times. It rolls off the tongue, he replies and offers her a beer and an explanation, which she declines.
She took his team, he complains. Which he left, Gamora reminds him. She’s parading around as Star-Lord, he continues. Because he left, Gamora reiterates. Well, he’s back, so she can knock it off now. Patiently, Gamora points out they are his friends. He is acting like a child.
Planetside:Rocket assures Kitty that he agrees with her one thousand percent. He’s a gorknard of the highest order. So can she please ditch the coveralls and come home?
Kitty claims the Kymellians need her help with their farm project. Isn’t that what the Guardians do – Helping those in need? He reminds her that the Kymellians are a fancy, wizard race. They can lift mountains with their minds. They built a utopia. They don’t need her on her knees in the dirt. They are humoring her.
Peter’s ship:Gamora asks if he moved out of the Guardians’ ship because he was afraid to see Kitty. Peter claims it’s because he’s a single guy now. He needs someplace to take the ladies without tripping over Groot when he’s molting. He needs a place where he can relax with a woman…
What woman would come back here with him? she scoffs. Insulted, he claims halfheartedly that plenty of women would love to be with him, would love him as he is.
Planetside:Rocket pleads with Kitty to return. Game night isn’t the same without her. She was the best gamemaster. She demurs. She needs to… Needs to what? Rocket demands. Pretend she’s busy, so she need not face her real problems? Maybe she just deserves to live someplace where she doesn’t have to run into her ex when she gets out of the shower (or whatever that weird steam thing is), Kitty shoots back. Isn’t it enough she’ll be on a team with him, even though she hates his stinking guts?
Peter’s ship:Peter admits he brought no women here. Is she happy? Not particularly. Gamora points out both his term as king and his relationship with Katherine didn’t end well. Kitty’s a jerk! he replies automatically. Has he considered that maybe he is the jerk in the situation? she asks. He doesn’t know, Peter admits.
Planetside:Rocket assures Kitty he knows break-ups are bad business. How does he know? Kitty demands. Has he ever been dumped? Surprised, Rocket asks Peter dumped her? They just assumed it was the other way around. She doesn’t know, Kitty admits.
Star-Lord’s ship:Gamora suggests he apologize. Peter forcefully expresses they are never ever going to get back together. Gamora orders him to get his act together and send Kitty a message. Peter stares at his comm device. No, it’s over.
Planetside:Rocket suggests they talk. Kitty refuses. They are never ever getting back together. He orders her to send Peter a message. Kitty stares at her comm device. No, it’s over.
Later, both are back at work. Both refuse attempts by others to distract them. Both sit alone at their dinners. Both are alone in bed thinking, staring at their phones. Finally, Peter gets up excited when Kitty has sent a message, asking him what he’s doing.
Sometime later they lie in bed, avoiding to look at each other, each secretly berating themselves. They both begin to talk at the same time. Then when Peter insists she start, Kitty sharply asks if he is afraid. Who, him? He has the heart of a lion Peter replies… “and a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo,” they both finish laughing.
Mollified, she asks what he was going to say. Is she going to stop pretending to be Star-Lord now? Peter asks. He realizes he put his foot in mouth. Is that what he asked her over for, Kitty demands. Hey, she messaged him first, he points out. He replied! she shouts. She came over! he shouts back. She’s not “pretending” to be anything! It’s not enough to be the “galaxy’s sweetheart,” he fumes. She’s gotta steal his job, his cool name… Kitty snaps that he abandoned Star-Lord. He abandoned the galaxy. Worst of all, he abandoned… Both their phones ring and Kitty tells him to leave her alone.
A little later Lydia, his ship’s A.I. sarcastically suggests that went well. She told him to block her number, Peter fumes. How dare she run around as Star-Lord making him look bad. Lydia suggests she may just be trying to help. Peter is sure it’s cheap and petty. On Earth, they do cheap and petty things all the time. It’s pretty much their jam. Anyway, they are here. An old friend from Earth called him.
He enters a satellite to find Tony Stark. Tony thanks him for coming and reveals he has a mission of utmost importance. He has discovered the Brood are staging a massive invasion of the galaxy. Hey, that’s where he lives, Peter jokes.
Tony hands him a device. He needs him to deliver the Pen-Ultimate Nullifier. It is a weapon of penultimate power. He needs him to deliver it to Hanky Pym. However, he reveals that the emission is too dangerous for one Star-Lord. So he also hired the other one.
Enter Kitty, who is as surprised and displeased to see Peter as vice versa. They both protest. He looks better in that jacket, Peter points out. Kitty retorts she took the Brood down as a teenager. Tony shouts if they want to sit here bickering or save the galaxy? Both of them calm down and are now united in telling him he needs to take a chill pill. They leave, unaware that “Tony” is really Raksor the Skrull.
They reach a fortress in space that looks like a giant frog. Doubtful, they enter, only to be attacked by what looks like past versions of themselves. Both Kitty and Peter consider it cathartic beating other versions of Star-Lord, until the real Peter gets taken out by energy blasts. Horrified, Kitty shouts his name. With her not paying attention, she falls victim to one of the Kittys.
They both awake, tied to their seats, to be welcomed to the galaxy’s hottest show – Kiss and Tell, the host being the Collector, who promises they will be making broadcast history.


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[Assistant]
Out of Orbit, chapter two: We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together
Aboard the Guardians of the Galaxy’s ship, Rocket and Groot are playing a board game while Rocket pontificates on Kitty and Peter’s break-up, wondering what chance the others have if those two can’t make it. Neither of them knows what really happened between the two. When Groot tells Rocket, it’s none of his business (actually, he says: “I am Groot”), Rocket points out he is emotionally invested. He was to officiate the wedding, after all.
Meanwhile, Kitty and Peter find themselves prisoners of the Collector, who is trying his hand at being a cosmic reality TV show host, answering the question why the two of them broke up.
The audience (several of the Collector’s prisoners) is even less enthusiastic than the guests, until the Collector electrically zaps them.
The Collector turns back to Kitty and Peter and asks if there is some chance they will make up again.
He can’t even apologize, Kitty fumes. She’s got to apologize to him first, Peter claims. Kitty asks the Collector why he even cares. He explains he has amassed unique and exquisite items from across the universe. But now he wants more. And recently his eye has landed on Peter Quill.
He shows them an old recording of an 8-year-old Peter Quill who is asked who he is rooting for in the World Series. He likes spaceships, young Peter replies. Another recording shows older Pete with his old band, the Mile High Skachievers. Face it, he rocks, present Pete grins.
The Collector tells Kitty that her phasing power is inhibited. She glares at him. He announces he wants more. He wants a collection that reaches deep down inside people. Things they can’t even admit to themselves. Nothing is more valuable than that. Emotions, experiences and… exclusives. A piece of Peter’s life so rare only he could ever have possession of it. Video of the two of them reliving their big breakup.
Kitty calls him a creepy emotional vampire. She won’t drag out their personal lives for this pathetic, emotionally-stunted fanboy! Both of them are hit by punishing energy flares from their inhibitors. Peter whispers he has a plan. They need to stall. Just keep making things up. Keep him distracted. The Collector is powerful and extremely bitter. He probably hasn’t kissed anyone for thousands of years. He promises he’ll protect her. More like she’ll protect him, Kitty scoffs. She agrees but hopes his plan includes more than clicking his ruby slippers together.
Enough! the Collector shouts. He orders them to tell him all their secrets or pressing this button will separate their molecules one by one. Peter seems to give in. He starts to talk but the Collector stops him. It wouldn’t be a confession without reenactments. He calls in the Skrull members of the Starkat Squadron that captured them earlier – a troupe of Skrull actors.
As he was saying, Peter begins…
20 minutes later, he has finished a tale of Kitty walking in on Peter being surrounded by fawning heroines, such as Storm, Scarlet Witch and She-Hulk. When she hits him, he announces they are breaking up.
The audience is impressed. The real Kitty less so. This is ridiculous, not to mention insulting! she shouts. The Collector asks if she has a version of the story to tell. Oh, does she ever, Kitty smirks.
30 minutes later, she has finished her tale of how Peter realized that he has treated her wrong in every way, that she is the superior Star-Lord and that Kitty has found her true love in the arms of actor and jazz pianist James Grolflbloom.
The audience is agitated. Peter protests this isn’t what happened at all. What really happened was: She couldn’t handle his success. He was intimidated by her, Kitty claims. Peter continues, their schedules were not compatible. Kitty states that they were in different places in their lives.
The two shout at each other while the Skrull actors have sunk down, exhausted from trying to keep up. One of them calls for an intermission.
The Collector watches with a smirk as Peter fumes at Kitty calling herself Star-Lord. How transparent can you get? Someone had to pick up his slack and help people out there, Kitty counters. He accuses her of being fake. She doesn’t care about helping people. It’s a front to make everyone love her. She just wanted to make him look bad. Kitty is taken aback.
The Collector watches in exaggerated anxiety, as does the audience. Kitty looks away, clearly hurt. Peter tries to address her, realizing he went too far. Then what happened? the Collector presses. Kitty turns around, tears in her eyes, and calls him a jerk.
The Collector is ecstatic. And they said he couldn’t have a real talk show of his own. He asks Kitty to tell them how she is feeling right now. She refuses. Fry her like a pizza bagel if he wants to, but she is done.
He decides to finish the episode on this cliffhanger and orders the audience back to their cages in his menagerie. He addresses Kitty and Peter, informing them tomorrow he needs them to be forthcoming, emotional and healing. He then hits them with an energy blast again.
Soon, they find themselves in cages next to each other. Well, that was fun, Kitty groans. Peter tries to apologize and she fends it off. He tells her it got out of control and brought up memories of what really happened.
The Collector enters, wearing only a short robe. He trusts their dressing rooms are to their satisfaction? Peter threatens him but is ignored. The Collector wants to speak to Kitty.
He takes her out for a walk, offering to show her his collection. Would she like to see the enchanted axes of Puck’s three ex-wives? They are still covered in blood. Or perhaps see the browser history of Wolverine? He didn’t get to delete it before his death. It’s quite revealing.
Impatiently, she tells him she can phase and run away any time she wants. He is sure she won’t. Because he has Peter Quill. And even though they bicker and quarrel, he can see the truth. She is still in love with him. Kitty looks away angrily. He takes her to a chaise lounge and asks her to confess. Without the camera and audience. Just tell him and he will never tell a soul. And release the two of them. Besides, he’s a good listener. Wouldn’t it feel good to talk with someone? Perhaps, Kitty admits. And if she doesn’t? Then he’ll keep her in his menagerie forever. And kill Peter.
Shocked, Kitty replies that he wouldn’t. He’s like his biggest fan (in his own weird way). And wouldn’t he look great as a taxidermied trophy in his solarium? the Collector asks cheerfully.
Peter, in the meantime, sends an emergency signal through the comm device hidden in his boot but Rocket and Groot are too busy with game night to notice the signal.


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[Assistant]
Out of Orbit, chapter three: You’re Gonna Carry That Weight
Sitting opposite Kitty Pryde and taking notes, the Collector suggests she tell him about her childhood. Nice try but that was not the deal, she reminds him. She tells him why she and Peter Quill broke up and he will let them go unharmed. That’s the deal. She’s not going to enable his emotional voyeurism more than she has to. Though she found it strangely enjoyable reading the report card where she leaned Betsy failed classical literature.
It all started when Spartax made the dumb-ass move to elect Peter their king…
Kitty’s narration:Kitty watches as Peter is beset with advisors who tell him how to hold the speech to the planet. She tries to get his attention and announces she’s off. He remembers about her birthday, right? Peter and the advisors still argue about whether he can use jokes in his speech. When he turns around, Kitty is gone.
The next day, Peter phones Kitty and asks her to help with the speech. She suggests he come down to the ship where all his friends are. If not, she will see him the next day.
Swamped with work, Peter of course forgets Kitty’s birthday dinner the next day, much to her chagrin. The next day, while Peter is in a conference, Kitty throws him back his stuff. She is dressed as Star-Lord and tells him she had to save the Kymellian transport from sailing into the black hole instead of him. The advisors chuckle, as they see her wearing Peter’s costume. Guards grab her and she announces she is his fiancée. She was just giving him a hard time. Peter replies he doesn’t know who she is. Throw her out to the garbage, he orders.
The next day, he is supposed to hold his speech before the planetary crowd. When he looks at his notes, he instead finds a note by Kitty, informing him she took his speech out to the garbage with her. Helplessly, he starts with a weak joke while Kitty enjoys her petty revenge.
She left the planet with the Guardians before he could get back at her… before they could say goodbye. She’s always got to have the last word. Everyone always asks her why they broke up. Did he cheat? Did she lie? They had disappointments which are their own special kind of betrayal. Death of a thousand cuts. At first, it was like she didn’t know him anymore. Then she asked herself did she ever know him. They were under so much pressure and they just acted worse and worse to each other until she didn’t even like herself. She guesses it sounds stupid now that she is saying it out loud.
The present:So tragic, the Collector sighs and asks her to excuse him briefly. He sheds a tear and gathers it. One of the saddest tears in his collection. He thanks her. When he turns around, he finds Kitty is gone.
A moment later, she hits him over the head with a huge artifact. He’s welcome! His Celestial toothpick! he sighs. He shouts after her that she can run all she likes. He knows exactly where she is going.
He enters his prison to find Star-Lord is still in his cage, right where he left him. The Collector demands to know where Kitty is. He thought she was with him, Peter retorts.
The Collector wonders where she could have gone. Not his menagerie, he fears, which is of course exactly where she went. A moment later, a stampede of very angry prisoners attacks.
Kitty, in the meantime, gets a giant gorilla to shatter Star-Lord’s cage. A little warning next time, he protests. She tells him he’s welcome.
In the meantime, aboard Star-Lord’s ship, one of the Skrull actors is discussing modernist alien theater with the ship’s AI Lydia, until Star-Lord hit him with a baseball bat, shouting Masterpiece Theater is canceled. Lydia is pissed off and protest, despite Kitty’s plea that they are in danger, Lydia finally relents when Peter promises to take her to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and sits with her through a staging of the Bald Soprano. Mollified, Lydia lets the ship take off, leaving a broken-hearted Skrull behind.
Struggling with his released captives, the Collector vows he has still one zinger left and presses a red button. Aboard the ship, all are electrified. After they recover, Peter and Kitty find that Lydia is toast, and they cannot reboot her out in space and the manual override doesn’t work either. They are lost in space. Peter announces. Kitty refuses to accept that. This is nothing a little determination and elbow grease can’t fix!
Seven hours later, she agrees that they can’t do this. They’ve got around seven hours until the air runs out, unless they get sucked into a sun first. So, they got some time to kill. She guesses it’s stupid to ask for a deck of cards, since he doesn’t even have a back-up system…
If this it, can they at least cut out the snide remarks? Peter asks. Can’t they go out as… friends? A friend doesn’t do what he did to her back there, Kitty spits. Fine, fine fine, he admits. She is right about it all, he was a real jerk to her, not just on starbase Kermit but back on Spartax. He was just – he’s never been a big deal like ever! And then suddenly he was king. He couldn’t handle it. He could barely remember his own name. He screwed up. Not just the king thing. He screwed up their thing. He’s sorry.
Kitty is surprised he is apologizing. Peter continues that he hates that they broke up. He hates himself. He misses them. He misses her.
Reluctantly, Kitty also apologizes and admits he was right. Part of becoming Star-Lord was to make him look bad. When her parents divorced, when the X-Men died and also every day at school, everyone looks at her to be calm dependable Kitty. It’s like her thing. But she couldn’t remain calm about him. It hurt too much. So, she hurt him back.
He tells her it’s okay and apologizes about screwing up their engagement. It’s not that he doesn’t want to marry her. She’s the only person he would like to marry. But doesn’t she think they got engaged too soon? Were they ready for the next level? Kitty doesn’t know. She always moves too fast. That’s also her thing. Why does she always do these dumb things? It’s his fault, Peter replies. When he was a kid… never mind. He doesn’t want to lose her. Kitty doesn’t want to lose him either. That’s why she said yes. To her, he’s always been a big deal. Really? he asks. She’d the biggest deal that ever happened to him.
What they had was good, Kitty insists. Really good. Maybe if they hadn’t started out long distance. Light years apart, he continues. Maybe if they hadn’t rushed into the engagement, she continues. Maybe if they also weren’t trapped in a helpless ship hurtling toward their doom, he points out. If they had another shot, they could do it all over, she suggests. They are almost close enough to kiss as they wonder if they could.
That moment, a noise breaks them apart as another ship turns up next to them, courtesy of Rocket and Groot. While the two argue who won the game, Peter points out they just got a second chance. Not so fast, she tells him. But they can definitely say all’s well that ends well. Cue for an emergency transmission from space.
A furious Tony Stark berates them for letting a cheap Skrull imitation of him fool them and then let him go…


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[Assistant]
untitled
Manhattan:The Quiet Room, run by Blackagar Boltagon, one of the hottest spots in the city. And its current hottest singer is one Peter Quill aka Star-Lord (with alternate Guardians as his band), wowing the crowd with his interpretation of Walk Disney songs.
Flashback:He recalls how everything died, except for a small group of heroes who fled on Reed Richard’s life raft to end up here on Battleworld. Where they say Dr. Doom is God. In the chaos, he got separated from Reed and the others and now he hides out in Manhattan’s most exclusive club.
Present:The crowd cheers after his rendition of Part of Your World. He thanks them and promises they’ll be back after the break.
They don’t have Disney movies here, so they all think he is some kind of musical genius. He wishes his old band could see him now.
Dodging the groupies, Peter tells them he prefers to drink alone and heads out to the balcony. Steven! a voice calls out. It’s his friend, this world’s Drax, sporting a rock-a-billy hairdo. Now here’s a picture: swinging Steve Rogers drinking all alone! He tells “Steve” about all the ladies who would like to find him. Peter isn’t interested. Drax suggests he give in. Maybe it’s just what he needs. Peter sighs he’s good.
Drax muses he knew a Steve Rogers a few domains over. He wasn’t nearly as glum. And he had a shield. Peter retorts the Drax he knew didn’t make jokes. And he definitely did not have hair. Drax laughs at the idea of a bald alter ego. He reminds him his next set starts in five minutes. Buck up, one day his princess will come!
A slender, young woman with long, curly, brown hair, dressed in a starry gown and carrying a violin case walks in and brushes off a waiter. Kitty Pryde! a red-eyed overdressed man in a booth greets her. He thought the champagne would be warm before she arrived. It’s a St. Croix. Excellent vintage!
She joins Gambit the Collector and tells him he shouldn’t have bothered. This is business. It doesn’t have to be he grins. How’s life as an agent of Valeria von Doom’s Foundation? That depends, she replies. Did he bring the anomaly? Did she bring the reward? He retorts. It’s in the case, she tells him. That’s not what he is talking about. She cannot pay him unless she can verify the anomaly’s provenance. But that’s the question, is it not? he muses and hands her what might be some hairs or bits of fur. Where is the anomaly from? They are about to find out, Kitty replies and places the sample into her reading device, which verifies the origin is unknown.
Jackpot! Gambit shout enthused. Imagine an object so exotic not even the heralded Foundation knows where it comes from. An artifact so unusual it is perhaps proof that the Gospel of Doom is not entirely legitimate. Perhaps the relic is even… heretical?
Kitty tells him to keep his pants on. They don’t know where it came from—yet. Scientific examination by the Foundation will prove it’s part of God Doom’s creation, just like the others. He’s earned his reward.
She hands him the violin case. Inside are three knives carved from the one of Longshot himself. Milled by Doom’s weapon masters to Valeria’s specific instructions. Verified to possess Longshot's "lucky” properties. And absolutely one of a kind! Gambit cries happily. Three of a kind Kitty corrects him. The perfect addition to his collection, he continues.
Hand over the anomaly first, Kitty orders. Not so fast, he replies. There is much champagne yet to drink, cherie. He puts his hand over hers.
On stage, Peter tells the band he is changing the set list. They are doing that song. No smart ass remarks! The song goes out to the best girl in the galaxy! Peter announces. It used to be their song: I know youuuu... I walked with you once upon a dreeeeaaam! I know youu…
Suddenly, he sees Kitty sitting in the booth with Gambit and realizes it’s her. Kitty Pryde. The best girl in the galaxy. His love. His fiancée. “Everything dies,” they said. And everything died. Including her. But he’d trade all of existence… for one more day with her. He leaves the stage.
Gambit tries to seduce Kitty, who responds by threatening him with her claws. He reminds her of the night in New Avalon. That was one night. And a mistake! she snaps. Now let’s make the damn trade and go their separate ways!
Peter interferes, telling Gambit to back off. Gambit reminds Kitty he told her to come alone. She’s never seen him before, Kitty snaps. Gambit points out he knows her name and he suspects a setup. Kitty swears. Gambit changes his mood, announcing the more the merrier. Why doesn’t he have a seat and enjoy some champagne? He grabs the bottle, charges it up and throws it at Kitty and Peter. Grabbing both the anomaly and the blades, he runs off.
Angrily, Drax confronts him. Nobody roughs up swingin’ Stevie Rogers in his cub. He was hoping these would last longer, Gambit grins and throws a charged up Longshot blade at Drax, who deflects it with a knife. The blade ricochets against several other objects until it severs the chain holding up a chandelier which falls… on Drax. Now that was lucky! Gambit laughs and runs out.
Stop him! Kitty shouts. He took the blades and the anomaly! Valeria will have her head for this! She begins to follow, but Peter grabs her wrist and pulls her toward him. A moment later, he kisses her. Another moment later, she socks him. Some of his blood falls on the analyzer.
What is wrong with all the men today? Kitty asks disgusted. Who the hell does he think he is? Peter groans he is Peter Quill and, crazy as it sounds, she is his—
The device pings, claiming Peter’s origin is unknown. Grabbing his wrist, Kitty asks who he is and where he comes from. It’s kind of a long story, he replies evasively. A moment later, Kitty has his wrist shackled in a handcuff to hers. A living anomaly - will wonders never cease? He is coming with her— to Doomgard.


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[Assistant]
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A pizza joint in Manhattan where Star-Lord and AoA Kitty Pryde are currently facing a dangerous situation:She is wrong! Star-Lord announces. Kitty refuses that idea. She is wrong about Doom and wrong about this pizza joint! he clarifies. God Doom is the creator of everything! she shoots back, and this is the place she is looking for. Then can they just skip to the part where they eat pizza? he pleads.
The techno-organic beings facing them, the New Mutroids, announce their hideout has been discovered and attack. Kitty and Peter hide behind a table. This would all be easier if she let him go, Peter points out. Unimpressed, Kitty replies she could take all five of them, with two of Peter attached to her arm.
‘Sunspot’ smashes the table. Kitty slashes him with her claws. Peter asks, if she is so sure Doom created everything, then why does she search for objects disproving that theory? She jumps over the counter with him, while pointing out those objects are only anomalies. They study them and prove that they substantiate Doom’s orthodoxy, dumb-ass. Well, have they ever had an anomaly—
Can they pause the theological discussion until after the killer-robots? she interrupts. They take cover from the heat blast, which melts down ‘Cannonball.’
An anomaly that can talk for himself, he continues. She wishes he wouldn’t, Kitty sighs.
As they dodge ‘Moonstar’s’ arrows, Peter insists he is an anomaly who can tell her where he came from. There was a world before Doom. He knows, because he lived three! He throws a stack of pizzas at robo-Moonstar and adds that Doom is a liar.
Kitty calls him a heretic as she phases her fist through ‘Moonstar’s’ face, causing her to malfunction. Annoyed, she faces robo-Magik, who complains about being a demon queen.
Star-Lord silently thinks the robots were kind of fun, but this is insane. She is so exactly like his Kitty. Super smart. Gutsy as heck. Really determined. And just as beautiful. Not that there aren’t differences. She worships Dr. Doom. She’s like this total hard-ass. Plus, claws (which she is using to demolish the Magik-bot). Which is to say, he is kind of afraid of her.
What’s left is a furious Warlock, who shouts those were his friends. Kitty notes he is using proper pronouns instead of the usual self. She cuts off his arms and slices him open to reveal Doug Ramsey inside.
She announces that he and his robots work for Gambit the Collector. They steal for him. Where is Gambit the Collector? she demands. Cypher whines, Gambit is gonna kill him, but Kitty proves more scary. The museum in midtown shaped like a snail. There’s something in there he wants real bad. Kitty lets him go and tells him he made the right decision.
Cypher fumes at the deaths of his friends, then he recognizes Kitty and says her name. Wait until everybody hears about this. Kitty’s expression turns feral then she guts him with her claws.
Horrified, Star-Lord swears and asks her why she did this. Shut up! she orders, while Warlock, with his friend dead, starts a self-destruct countdown. Moments later, there is a detonation.
Later:The Union of Doom square:Peter sits on one of the stone steps. Kitty is lying next to him, covered with his jacket. Kitty awakens and asks what happened. He explains the shockwave took her out. But she phased them at the last second. She saved their lives.
She notes he has opened the shackles. Peter grins that he is an old hand at lock-picking and he had to kill time somehow. Kitty realizes he could have escaped. He replies she saved his life. Least he could do is make sure she was okay. He offers her pizza. Taking a slice, she muses he must really love the other Kitty. Yeah, he admits. And he ain’t really the loving kind either. Not until her. She’s the best person in the whole galaxy. Was, he amends. She was the best person in the whole galaxy. The old galaxy. He still can’t believe it’s all gone now. And her with it.
And she is like her? Kitty asks. She is nothing like her, a surprised Peter stresses. Now he’s judging her, Kitty snaps. Last night, he couldn’t keep his hands off her. His Kitty never would have killed that Cypher guy! he shoots back. Maybe she’s never been in a position where she had to, she retorts angrily. Maybe she’s not a freakin’ psycho! he grimaces. She takes off his jacket and shouts he’s a terrible singer. He accuses her of being a terrible kisser. She should have let him get blown up with the pizzas! she screams. He should have left her buried in pepperoni! he screams back. They both turn away angrily.
If she’s so important to Doom, why doesn’t she just pick up the Doom phone for backup? he finally asks. Kitty calls him a dumbass and adds it’s complicated. Peter believes he gets it. She’s not supposed to be here. That’s why she killed the guy, so he wouldn’t tell. Why is she really here?
What did she do to deserve all this? Kitty mumbles. She tells him to try to follow along. The Foundation, the hand of Doom, is devoted to science. The other hand of Doom, Sheriff Strange and the Thors, they are the law, devoted to upholding the word of Doom. And sometimes those two pursuits clash. Drama ensues. Heads roll. The nature of these anomalies is too dangerous. That’s why her mission is a secret… even from the Thors. So she doesn’t get any back-up. She’s out here alone. He admits that sounds intense. How did she get into that line of work anyway?
She was a spy for the kingdom of Apocalypse. She was caught stealing intel and given a choice: Serve Doom or die. And so will everyone she ever loved. She doesn’t do this for Doom or herself. She does this for them. She looks away sadly and Peter understands.
She decides she needs to get moving. She decides they are even and offers her hand. Don’t make trouble and she’ll forget she ever saw him. Hesitating, he offers to help. He’s a thief… Kitty groans. He points out this is his fault, because he ruined her deal with Gambit. Finally, she comes around and decides to let him help. Hail Doom! he shouts. She calls him an idiot and explains that they are heading midtown for the Doomenheim museum.
Doom made his own museum? Peter asks on the roof. Doom doesn’t care about this sorry shack, Kitty snorts. It’s run by desperate supplicants - - buttkissers. Doom has a fandom? Peter muses. A fan-doom?
Kitty takes his hand and they jump phasing through the roof. Inside, Peter grabs a curtain to break their fall. Nevertheless, they land hard. Or he does. Kitty lands on him. For a moment, they are about to kiss but then Kitty looks up and sees Gambit’s bag on a pedestal.
She runs toward it, all caution forgotten when suddenly she is faced with a small flying electronic being – Widget – who uses its technology to tie them up.
Kitty finds she cannot phase through their metal bindings. She explains that means the little trash can is an alternate version of herself. This is a trap, she realizes.
Very good, Cherie, Gambit who walks in grins. What will Valeria say when she learns Kitty fell for a decoy? Cypher didn’t lie. Gambit just told him to bend the truth. There is something here he cannot wait to add to his collection - -she!


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The Doomenheim Museum, Manhattan:Star-Lord and Kitty Pryde literally hang there as prisoners by Widget’s tentacles. As usual, they argue, in this case about whose fault this is while watched by Widget. Amused, Gambit the Collector informs them it’s both their fault.
Peter goes on arguing that they could be having pizza and ice cream together, if Kitty didn’t— Really? she snaps She could be back on her way to Doomgard, mission accomplished, if he hadn’t—
He can’t believe she fell for the old bait and switch, Gambit goads. What’s next? Made you look? Got your nose? Pull my finger? She got greedy. Her precious prize was with him the whole time.
On behalf of God Doom, Kitty orders Gambit to hand over the anomaly inside that bag for scientific study and—
Why such formalities? he grins. Does she not remember their time together in Higher Avalon? She’s tried everything to forget! she snarls. He’s got a new hideout in Egyptia he’d love to show her. She’d rather go to Greenland. Undeterred, he continues. This is so romantic: Her, him, she hanging upside down. He thinks he’s got a Spider-Man mask he could put on her…
Suddenly, there is a noise. Gambit orders Widget to stay and guard these two, while he goes to investigate.
Peter suggests this is their chance and asks if Kitty can’t phase them out. Won’t work, she explains. Widget is an analog of her, so her power won’t work on it. The whatnot is a whosit? he asks. Kitty explains that, when God Doom created the world, he allowed for multiple versions of the same person to exist in different domains. They share a quantum signature in their matter. Sometimes it creates strange side effects - their superhuman powers cancel each other out.
Peter has a plan and calls Widget over. He explains that his Kitty has a weakness: his singing. Kitty groans as Peter begins to sing “I know you,” though he alters the lyrics somewhat— But if I knnooow you I know what you’ll dooo. You’ll feee us at once ‘cause Gambit’s a creep. A total creeeeep!
Widget utterly falls for him and smacks Peter on the lips.
Sometime later, Gambit returns having found nothing but a tacky jacket. He finds only the smitten Widget, but the prisoners are gone. Gambit shouts at Widget. That moment, Peter literally gets the drop on him.
Kitty threatens him with her claws. This day has been coming, since the day he swiped the sword of Knight Crawler of New Avalon from under her nose. She’s gonna make him pay for every creepy one-liner he ever—
Not so fast, he smirks, Lady Luck. He energizes one of the Longshot blades and fires it at her. Kitty deflects it with her claws. It ricochets and hits Peter in the arm. Kitty is momentarily distracted. The blade returns and Gambit remarks they are lucky. They never miss.
Peter sighs that Rocket said there’d be days like this. Kitty orders him behind her. Oh, good idea. He’ll never get past the intangible girl. Does he want a matching cut on the other arm? Kitty snarls.
Gambit energizes both blades. He’ll miss her, he grins, but not much.
A towering shadowy figure behind him booms Halt! He is most displeased, Doom announces. How dare Gambit defile this shrine to his benevolence? He has earned the ire of Doom!
They are all aghast and Doom hits him. Kitty explains who she is and begs for mercy. Doom announces he is a grumpy god Doom. He will banish them to the Wall. Unless — the handsome young man woos him with a song. He does so love it when he sings. Drax takes off the mask and reveals himself.
He explains that, when they left the Quiet Room, he followed along. Like he said, no one roughs up the talent in his club and gets away with it. Is this good or bad? Kitty asks confused. It’s Drax! Peter cheers.
They leave for the park. Peter and Drax want to see the anomaly but Kitty refuses, explaining it’s top secret. Finally, they get her to open the bag. Kitty is confused, Drax is disgusted and Peter realizes it’s Rocket Raccoon’s tail. His little buddy. He heard a rumor his tail was fake but he didn’t have the guts to ask. Now he’s gone. He looks at his bracelet with the letters W.W.R.R.D. ‘What would Rocket Raccoon do?’ He’d give anything for one more drink with that stinker…
Peter’s memory:He recalls them drinking at a bar. ‘Baby boo,’ Rocket told him, ‘no matter how bad things get, just keep swimming.’ Isn’t that from a movie? Peter asked. Rocket denied it.
Present:Peter is still holding the tail to his face. Drax tells Kitty to give him a minute. He said that twenty minutes ago, she replies impatiently. What did he do with Gambit anyway?
He left him on the street and notified Doom’s thunder gestapo.
Gambit awakes, his head ringing, muttering ‘Cherie… crawdad… Carcosa.’Behind him is an insulting drawing with the words Doom sux.Several Thors stare at him angrily. He knows how this looks, he begins.Beta Ray Bill informs him he has misspelled “sucks.” Another Thor adds that defiling the image of God Doom with a typo is punishable by death.
Drax explains to Kitty he is no fan of the Thors either, so he left Gambit with a little handicap… the Longshot blades. They’ll keep each other busy for a while.
Gambit reaches into his coat. Would they like to see his papers?
In the park, Kitty demands Peter hand the anomaly over. Sure, he sighs. Hand over the only thing left from his home planet or reality or whatever. Not to mention one of his best pals.
Awkwardly, Kitty replies he is not the only person far from home who will probably never see it again. He realizes she’s right and offers her the tail. Kitty sighs; she can’t believe she is doing this and tells him to keep it. He thanks her effusively, even as she warns him to never show it to anyone or she will find him. And please don’t do anything gross with it. One of them should be able to keep a piece of home. She’ll invent a cover story for Valeria.
So how did she like their date? he singsongs. This was not a date, Kitty snaps. Peter enumerates that they went to a fancy club, he got her pizza, they went to the park, they went to the museum, he sang her a song. Where he comes from, that’s a legendary date. Furiously, she grabs him by the lapels: She. Does. Not. Date! That said… she suddenly kisses him.
Admit that she fell for his heart of gold, he offers and is told ‘nope.’ She repeats that when he suggests his killer thief skills. She’s a sucker for puppy dog eyes and… well, he was right about the song. So she does have something in common with his Kitty, he decides. In another world, perhaps. In another galaxy, she laughs. Another universe, he offers. She phases into the sky as she tells him goodbye and asks him not to get himself killed out there.
He looks after her: How many Kittys does he have to lose? Peter Quill? Drax asks and Peter sheepishly admits his name is not Steve Rogers. He knew it from the first when Peter grabbed a microphone, Drax reveals. He’s seen Cap with the mutant gene. He’s seen one with wings. He’s seen one riding a bloody, red T-Rex… but never has he known a Captain America with a voice as smooth as his. So he still has a job at the club? Peter hopes. Drax points out he left the stage mid-song and Drax left the door unguarded. He thinks they are both out of a job.
Forget the club, Peter has some ideas and asks if he knows a good geneticist. He wants to clone the raccoon? Drax asks. He wants to clone an army of him! Drax believes that is the beginning of a beautiful friendship…