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Wolverine’s Revenge!: Part 4
Years ago, a young Japanese girl spars against one of her peers, a young boy. During their sparring, the girl is able to slice her opponent in the arm. When he falls down, the girl hesitates. Her master asks her what she is waiting for. Is she a ninja or not? Decide this second. The girl then jams her sword into the boy, killing him. Once she does, her master tells her that the next time she hesitates will be her last.
For 1,000 years, her family has been ninja. Phantom assassins. Masters of sword and shadow. Dark manipulators of emperors and kings. Faithful disciples of the Hand. She was trained since birth to subvert the self. To deny emotion. To never take a breath that wasn’t in service to the Hand. And never once had she questioned the way of life she’d been born into. Until the day her father came home in shame.
That day, her father and his small cadre of Hand ninjas arrive home. When they all kneel, the master orders them to tell everyone of their shame. The father replies that they were defeated. The master corrects him – they were humiliated. The father continues that they fought, but… but they were too strong. The master remarks that he says “they” like there was more than one of them, but there wasn’t, was there? Closing his eyes, the father replies that it was just one man. The master exclaims that it wasn’t even a man, it was a gaijin. Walking away from them, he tells the ninjas that the stench of their shame is nauseating. Salvage what little remains of their honor.
As the young girl watches on, her father and the other ninjas stab themselves in the stomach. She recalls that those who died that day were never to be spoken of again. Their possessions were buried, their names stricken from all scrolls. Forget them, they were told. Forget them or be doomed to suffer their fate. And she did her best. She forgot her father as well as she could. When thoughts of him would creep up, she’d whip herself in punishment. She would swallow sharp rocks for every day she could still recall his name. But the shame… that she never forgot. As her father lay dying, he begged her for forgiveness. It was not their fault; their opponent was “a thing from hell.” She would also never forget the man, Wolverine, who brought it upon her. Every night for years, she prayed to the dark god of the Hand that she would someday meet this man face-to-face. Some prayers, as she has since learned, are best left unanswered.
In present day, that young Japanese girl has grown into a woman. Standing in the control room of the Red Right Hand, she and the others present hear Wolverine yelling at them that he knows they’re here. He can smell them. Won’t be long now. The old man leader of the RRH remarks that he’s close. Turning to Gunhawk, he tells him that it appears he is now all that stands between them and those ghastly claws of his. Let’s hope he fares better than his dearly departed compatriots. Gunhawk replies that those kids deserved better. Smiling sadistically, the old man asks don’t they all. Gunhawk tells him no, not all, and leaves the control room.
Exiting the room, Gunhawk shortly comes face to face with Wolverine. Wolverine tells him that his friends all talked a big game. But that didn’t keep them from dyin’. What about him, what does he have to say? Saying nothing at all, Gunhawk draws his weapons and begins to fire upon Wolverine. Walking through the bullets, Wolverine attacks Gunhawk. Continuing to watch on the monitors, the Japanese woman states that she enjoys watching him suffer, although she knows it is fleeting. The real suffering… that is yet to come. If only she could live to see it.
She then recalls the time when her brother Takeo returned to the Hand complex, bleeding profusely. When she asked Takeo what happened to them and to their brothers, Takeo informed her they are dead. She asked all of them? That can’t be. Who did this? Slumping to the ground, Takeo starts to ask his sister for something but she cuts him off. She tells him that if he dies, he dies. He knows their ways. Now tell her… who was it? Takeo died before he could finish. But it didn’t matter. She already knew the answer when she saw the claw wounds in her brother’s chest.
As the woman dons her ninja gear, her pregnant mother asks her where she is going. She tells her that she is going to go kill someone. Her mother asks that she’s been made a warrior already? She did not know she had yet passed the trials. Where does the time go? The woman proceeds to inform her mother that Takeo, Kaemon and the others are all dead. When the mother asks Takeo and Kaemon, the woman says her sons, all of her sons, are dead. The mother asks if Takeo was the one with the curly hair. The woman says never mind and leaves. As she does, her mother asks about Yoshiro. Do they have a Yoshiro? She’s always loved that name.
Just then, the announcement is made that there is an intruder in the complex. Rushing out to join her brethren, the young woman recalls that her plan that day was to leave. To head out blindly into a world she had never known, searching for a man she could not even name. But things turned out much simpler. When she saw Wolverine, she knew it was him in a second. Pulling on her mask, she recalls that since she was old enough to walk, she had been trained to fight and kill in the spaces between seconds. She knew of wars fought in the span between one breath and the next. Massacres that happened in the time it took to blink. She knew all this and yet, she barely had time to draw her sword before he was past her. She was turning to go after him, when she noticed something on her shoe. It was the rice she had eaten for lunch. Despite what they say in songs and stories, there’s nothing peaceful or romantic about dying. There’s no gentle chill that comes over you. No comforting warmth. No peaceful whispers or soothing lights. There’s only an incredible amount of pain, and then…darkness…
A short time later, the young woman is resurrected by the Hand’s master. When he tells her welcome back, the woman states that she was dead. The master replied quite so. And he brought her back? The master says the power of the beast knows no bounds. The woman asks about the fight, the gaijin. The master informs her that the gaijin is gone. They finally stopped him? The master tells her no, he simply got bored with killing them. Then they go after him? The master says in time. For now they must regroup. Where’s her sword, she’ll kill him herself. The master tells her to forget her sword. That is not where her destiny lies. They have suffered great losses today. The Hand must be replenished. When the woman saw a number of other brainwashed Japanese women, all pregnant, her allegiance to the Hand died forever the night they returned her from the dead.
And so she left to serve a different master. That of vengeance. Holding her sword above the old man leader of the RRH, she tells him that, if he moves, he dies. The old man replies that she doesn’t want to kill her. They both know that. Put away the sword and they’ll talk about who she does want to kill. The woman remembered the American from when she was a girl. He had come to the complex of the Hand holding a picture of Wolverine and telling them that he’ll pay whatever they want. He just wants him killed, in the most agonizing way imaginable. The ninjas told him that they know the man he wanted killed. They have reason to hate him, same as him. But they will not kill him. He may yet be of use to them. Leaving the old man thanked them for wasting his time. Standing over the old man, the woman reminds him that he came years ago to hire the Hand. Does that offer still stand? Smiling, the old man answers that it does.
Showing the young woman five individuals, the young versions of what would end up being the Mongrels, the old man tells her to train them. The woman asks to what, to die more efficiently? Turning away from the five young people, the woman mentions to the old man that the gaijin, the one he tells her is called Wolverine, she has seen him cut down the greatest warriors she has ever known as if they were children. And he hopes to send actual children against him? She has fought him herself and died by his hand. No matter how much they train, these dregs of his will have no chance against them. The old man answers yes, he’s quite counting on that.
In present day, Wolverine and Gunhawk continue to do battle. Eventually, Wolverine gains the upper-hand and jams his claws into Gunhawk’s chest. As Gunhawk falls to the ground, dying, Wolverine asks him that who he’s looking for is right through the doors, aren’t they? Gunhawk weakly answers yes, but he shouldn’t go through it. Wolverine asks him why that is. Are there more like him on the other side? If so, he thinks he’ll take his chances. Gunhawk tells him no, there’s no one left for him to fight. There’s nothing now between him and them. Wolverine says good. He guesses their plan to kill him didn’t quite work out, did it. Gunhawk tells him that’s where he’s wrong. The plan was never to kill him.
Inside the control room, the old man is roused from his trance of watching the monitor by one of his followers who inform him that everything is in place. Turning to those gathered, the old man tells them that they need to get started. They want everything ready for their guest of honor.
Outside the door, Gunhawk tells Wolverine that the plan was only to make him hurt. And that’s all that’s waiting for him on the other side of that door. A whole lotta hurt. And he deserves every bit of it, doesn’t he? When Wolverine asks him if he knows him from somewhere, Gunhawk says no, he doesn’t know him at all. After watching Gunhawk die, Wolverine grabs hold of the handles to the door. He asks a whole lotta hurt, huh? Damn straight. And here it comes. With that, Wolverine barges into the room.


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Wolverine’s Revenge!: Conclusion
Inside the complex of the Red Right Hand (RRH), the followers gather around the old man. As they all raise their glasses, the old man leader tells them at long last, here’s to revenge. Simultaneously, his followers echo “to revenge!” As the followers drink their wine, they begin to die, one by one. Peering at the door, the old man laments if he could only see his face. He then tells his followers to die well. Die with victory in their hearts. Die with a smile.
Before he takes a drink, the old man sees a young boy standing near the door. When the old man asks him why he’s not drinking, the boy informs him that he wants to be there when he realizes what they’ve done to him. He wants to see his face. The old man tells him he understands. Believe him, he does. But he knows the plan. Better than anyone. They must first deprive him of his revenge, if they are to have their own. So come. Now is not the time for regret. Now is the time to rejoice. After taking a swig from his glass, the old man collapses and dies. As he does, the boy walks towards the door. He may be just a kid, but there are still many things in this world he has grown to hate. But only one he ever loved.
(flashback)
At that moment, the kid recalls the day when his mother dropped off at school. She told him she’d see him when she gets back. It had always been just her and him, for as long as he could remember. His father had never been around. His mother was all he had. She worked hard to provide for them. She worked her way through nursing school and was excited when she finally got the job. She loved it. She said she got to meet all sorts of strange new people and go on exciting adventures. She was never supposed to tell him about them, but she did. She thought he’d be excited too. And he always pretended to be. But inside he hated it because it took her away from him, sometimes for weeks on end. His only joy came from knowing that she would always come back. His mother worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. and was killed, unbeknownst to him by Wolverine when she was trying to save his life.
Nobody would ever tell him how she died. Killed in the line of duty was all they’d say. Killed fighting the bad guys, he assumed, like a foolish little boy. She’d been dead for over a year before he learned the truth, even though everyone else had known it all along. A man called Wolverine killed his mother. The same man he’d seen lurking at her funeral. The same man he’d seen on TV sometimes being hailed as a hero. He killed her in cold blood, while she was trying to help him. And yet he never stood trial, never had to answer for his crime. Instead, they made him an Avenger. He’d been out of his head, he was told, supposedly under the control of evil ninjas. Did he think that should excuse him for killing his mother, he was asked. No, he answered. He definitely did not. Would he like the chance to pay him back, he was asked. Yes, he replied, without even pausing to consider it. Yes, with all his heart. One day, after being in six foster homes in less than a year, he was adopted by the old man leader of the RRH.
Sometime later, the old man is holding a meeting with the other members of the RRH. One of the men, Roger, the one who lost his wife to Wolverine during a battle with the Hulk says that they’re all agreed. They send him to hell. They steal his soul and leave it to burn in the fires of damnation. That’s what he deserves for what he’s done. The old man says they can do better. The question is asked – better than hell? How? The old man states all he knows is that he needs to suffer, in this life, just as they have.
Sitting in a corner in the room, the young boy listens to them talk. He recalls that he used to dream about his mother every night. But now he finds she’s even left him in his dreams. Now he only dreams of him. Sipping his wine, Daken tells the others that he’s given them all the tools they need. They’re standing right outside that door. The only question is, do they have the guts to use them? One of the old ladies says if they do what he’s suggesting, then how are they any better than him.
Roger says enough talk. It’s time to make him pay. He votes they send him to hell and that’s that. The little boy steps in and says no. Hell isn’t enough. Not for him. Hell is just the beginning. They do what this one, Daken, says, despicable though he may be. Daken tells the boy to mind his tongue. The boy continues that they use what weapons they have to make him hurt. Doesn’t matter who dies in the process, doesn’t matter who they have to kill. He has to feel exactly what they’ve felt. He has to know what it’s like to be him.
(present)
Entering the room with a rush, Logan sees the floor littered with dead bodies. Walking past the bodies, including the boy, Logan remarks “such a damn waste.” He hopes they enjoy hell as much as he did.
Just then, a video begins to play. It is a video of the old man leader, flanked by his followers. He says “Greetings Mr. Howlett.” If he’s seeing this message, that means that they are dead. He imagines he is left with many unanswered questions. Such as, who were they? And why did they go to such great lengths to make him suffer? He regrets they could not answer his questions face-to-face, but they thought it best to deprive him of the joy he would have no doubt taken from killing them. Nevertheless, his answers await. This is who they are. In this folder, he will find the faces of people who were precious to them – fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, sons and daughters. The faces of people he murdered. Keep it as a memento of this day.
Tossing the folder on the table, Logan angrily states that he don’t need nothin’ from them to remember these faces. The video continues… They sought revenge against him for what he had taken from them. That is why they sent him to hell. Why they attacked those closest to him. And if he is there now, in this room, then it can only mean that their vengeance is finally complete. He came there, looking for revenge against them, but instead, it is they who now have revenge against him. To reach this room, he killed five people…
Years prior, the members of the RRH look at five photographs laid out on a table. The lady who was resurrected by the Hand asks the old man if they know. The old man says they know what they tell them. The lady asks what they tell them. The old man tells them whatever it takes to get them to fight. The young boy says mongrels. They call them the Mongrels.
By way of the video, the old man tells Logan there are files on each of their Mongrels, as they were called. He believes he will find them interesting. They spent years studying him, searching for ways to make him suffer. Some of them spent their entire lives in that pursuit. During that time, they learned everything there was to know about him. He daresay, they came to know him better than he knows himself. They know who he’s killed and who he’s loved. They know everywhere he’s ever been. And everything he’s left behind.
With a surprised look on his face, Logan exclaims this… can’t be true. The old man tells him these Mongrels he killed; they gathered them together over the years from the far corners of the globe. They trained them to fight him, never expecting they could actually win. Quite the contrary, in fact… they wanted them to lose. They wanted them to die by his hand. Why, he might ask? Because they were his children. Now, at last, he knows what it is like to be them. Welcome, James Howlett, to the Red Right Hand.
As the video turns off, Logan peers at the folio in complete and utter shock and dismay. Looking up, the young boy laughs and says look at his face, before finally dying. When he does, he and the other members of the RRH find themselves in hell. Every one of them finds their loved ones and embrace, save for the young boy. He continuously calls out for his mother, but no response comes.


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Wolverine No More
In the Yukon, Logan climbs. Day and night. He doesn’t notice the difference anymore. He doesn’t know how long he’s been there. Or how many times he’s been up the mountain. He doesn’t know anything but the cut of the rocks on his hands. The taste of blood on his tongue. He doesn’t know anything but the need to climb. It takes hours to reach the top. Yet he pauses there only a moment. Just long enough to remember why he’s there. And then, he leaps off the top of the mountain, crashing into a multitude of rocks and trees below.
There’s a moment after he hits the rocks and his brain turns to pulp, a moment where everything goes black. And for three, sometimes four whole seconds… he is without pain. Without despair or shame. Without thought or feeling of any kind. But then his brain starts to reknit itself. His guts slither back inside his belly. His lungs fill with air. And he gets up. And climbs again.
Three days ago, Logan drug a coffin through the streets of a small town in the Yukon. Happening upon some locals, Logan told them he was looking for Dolores Downing. When one of the locals asks who he is, Logan tells him that he’s someone who’s traveled far. Does he know her? When the man asks what’s inside the coffin, Logan sneers at him and sarcastically asks him what does he think. Turning his back to Logan, the man states that there ain’t nobody around here by that name. Drag his troubles someplace else. Just then, the older woman with them pipes up and remarks that she knows Dolores Downing. With a softness in his eyes, Logan asks her to please take him to her.
In short time, the woman takes Logan to a gravestone. She adds that Dolores has been dead for nearly 30 years. When Logan asks how she died, he is told that she just got old. Did he know her? Logan replies that he did, when she was young. The woman says that he must’ve been just a boy. Logan replies that he doesn’t know what he was. But it sure wasn’t a man. Removing the lid off of the coffin, it is revealed to be Gun Hawk. Looking inside, the woman asks who that is. After Logan tells her it’s Dolores’ son, the woman asks William? Why, he disappeared from there not long after she died. She hasn’t heard tell of him since. If he doesn’t mind her asking, what happened to him? Closing his eyes and lowering his head, Logan informs her that he killed him. As the woman hurries off, Logan begins to dig a grave next to Delores and, eventually, buries William inside.
Later that night, Logan visits a local bar and asks the bartender for whiskey and to leave the bottle. A few hours later, Logan stumbles out of the bar with an empty bottle of whiskey in hand. Once outside, a voice from behind asks him “how does it feel, old man?” How does it feel to kill your own flesh and blood?
Popping his claws, Logan growls and asks who the hell said that. The voice tells him that’s right. Pop those claws. Stab something. That’s all he’s ever been good at, isn’t it. With that, Daken jams his claws through Logan’s throat. Kicking his father to the ground with great force, Daken tells him he helped them. The Red Right Hand. He helped them find his bastards. All those precious little bundles of joy he sired over the years. The ones he didn’t even know about, or just didn’t care about. Logan replies tell him he didn’t… Daken confirms that he did. He tracked them down. He brought them in and set them up. And then, he stood by and watched him kill them.
Enraged, Logan tells him “You.” Daken asks him yes, go ahead and spit it out. Logan tells him that he’s no son of his. Daken proceeds to ask Logan that he really thinks they’re all that different, doesn’t he. A brutally efficient killer who leaves naught but carnage and misery wherever he wanders. Tell him who he’s talking about. Me or you?
Just then, Logan is slammed against a nearby wall before he can retaliate against Daken. The voice of the man who did it tells him, James, to simmer down. What he gon do, kill the only kid he got left? Guess he’s ‘bout as good a daddy as he was a brother. Seeing Dog Logan’s face, Logan remarks that this isn’t real, this can’t be happening. Dog tells him he’d like to think that, wouldn’t he? But how ‘bout all them graves he been digging. Them’s awfully real, ain’t they? Logan begs them to please stop. Dog adds that it took him weeks, he bets. Dragging them coffins all over creation, retracing his old steps, just so’s he could put ‘em in the ground next to their mommas. Guess he figured it was the least he could do, huh?
Logan answers that he had to… had to be sure. When Dog asks him if he is, Logan answers yes. He asks if they ever even knew who they were, who he was. Dog asks what the hell difference it would make. Logan says he never knew about them. Maybe… maybe he never wanted to know. He just… he just knows that he’s sorry.
At that moment, another voice pipes in and says don’t none a’ this surprise him a bit. If there’s one thing he always been good at, it’s killin’ family. Just then, Thomas Logan emerges from the shadows with a staff in hand, Sabretooth’s head on the top of it. As the three stand over Logan, Daken says look at him. He does believe he’s going to cry. Dog asks is that right? He gonna squirt them a few, runt? Thomas says groveling like a woman. He’s a pathetic excuse for a Logan, boy, he know that? Logan asks why this happened. Hearing him ask why this happened, the three of them begin to laugh.
Logan begs them to stop laughing. Standing over him, three local men ask what the hell’s he saying. Nothing that makes sense. Must be drunk. Or crazy. Take his wallet. He ain’t got one. Ain’t got nothing but an empty bottle and some weird-looking underwear. Rolling over, Logan stabs one of the men in the arm with his claws and asks them to please tell them he’s sorry. Tell them… tell them he didn’t mean to kill them. Slashing him across the throat with his own knife, one of the men tells him to tell ‘em yourself, you crazy @#%$& and proceeds to leave Logan face down in the middle of the street.
Later, Logan calls Melita on the phone. Upon hearing that it’s Logan, Melita tells him that everyone’s been looking for him. Even Cyclops has been worried. Is he all right? Logan tells her no. Melita asks what happened. Where is he? What’s the matter with his voice? Logan then tells Melita to tell everyone. Tell them not to look for him. Tell them… just let him go. Melita begs Logan to not to, but Logan doesn’t hear the rest as he hangs up the phone and walks away.
Sometime later, Logan pulls himself out of a pile of rubble and goes back to climbing the mountain. As he does, a pack of wolves grab hold of his Wolverine uniform and proceed to tear it apart.


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Wolverine Forever
To Captain America, Wolverine is a soldier. Rogue – a cowboy. Iron Fist – a samurai. Hulk – a #@&$. Iron Man – a terribly complicated man. Beast – as simple a man as you will ever meet. Fantomex – a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside and enigma. Elektra – a bona fide son of a bitch. Jubilee – an amazing big brother. Hawkeye – a killer. Spider-Woman – a helluva kisser. Daimon Hellstrom – a man with the soul of a beast.
In the Yukon, Logan has a full beard and is naked, save for the animal hide around his waist. Standing face to face with an elk, Logan thinks to himself that he’s an animal. Nothing more. Nothing less. Now and forever. But… he is not a very good one. The elk has fought valiantly against the pack. It has dragged its guts through the underbrush for miles. It knows it’s dead. It begs him with its eyes to be put out of its misery. All it would take is just one snikt. But he can’t. Not ever again.
After the wolves attack and kill the wounded elk, Logan waits with the old, infantile and weak, while the strong eat. Such is now his place in life. He forgets how long he’s been out there. Every night he forgets a little more of himself, but still not enough. While he is eating the scraps that are left, one of the wolves growls at him. Logan says right, he guesses he’s done and proceeds to follow the pack through the snow and into the nearby woods. All the while, a foreign boot crunches the snow nearby.
To Thor, Wolverine is one of the most valiant heroes he has ever known, even if he himself would never admit it. Magneto – the fiercest of enemies. Iceman – a leader and a damn good one, even if he doesn’t realize it. Doctor Strange – the scariest man he has ever met. And he literally has shaken hands with the devil. Puck – the second toughest Canadian he knows. Gambit – a thoroughly untrustworthy fella who’d he trust his life to any day of the week. Namor – a worse swimmer you would not want to meet. Hope – a bit of a jerk. Thing – a damn card cheat, he doesn’t care what he says. Deadpool – talk about your laugh riots… Black Panther – a man who walks his own path, and walks it well. Emma Frost – a warthog. He smells exactly like a warthog.
Back in the Yukon, a number of men on snowmobiles attack the pack of wolves and shoot them with tranquilizer guns. Walking around and taking a look at each of the wolves, the leader analyzes them. Yes. No, too old. No, too little. Yes. They begin to load the ones they’re taking into a vehicle and kill the ones they don’t. One of his workers informs him that the good ones look well-fed and feisty. Not a bad haul. The leader tells him they’ll see about that.
Just then, one of his workers calls out to his boss on what the hell he makes of this. Looking at Logan with tranquilizer darts riddled in his body, the leader says it’s a wild man. He’s never seen one this old before. When his worker asks him how long he figures he’s been out there, the leader says by the looks of him – his whole damn life. The worker asks if he thinks he can understand them. The boss tells him to look into his eyes and tell him what he sees - animal, nothing but another damn animal. One of the workers mentions to the boss that this is a once in a lifetime find there. They gotta bring him. Can he imagine the reaction if they were to turn him loose on the…
Walking away, the boss says no. They’re not equipped to cage wild men. He stays. As the hunters begin to move out, one of the workers points his weapon at Logan and tells him he heard the boss, Bigfoot, tough luck. With that, he shoots Logan in the middle of the forehead, leaving him for dead.
Eventually, Logan wakes up and smells the bodies of his slaughtered pack and smells the human stink. He feels the darkness all around him calling, urging him to run into it and hide. But he sees nothing, nothing except a wounded father crawling after its cubs. And suddenly without thinking, he is walking… toward a very different kind of darkness.
Kitty Pryde says that she doesn’t know that she’ll ever get married, because every man she meets a man, she can’t help comparing them to him. And there’s just no chance in hell they can ever measure up. Storm states that he has never told her of his childhood. To her knowledge, he has never told anyone. But it’s obvious there is great tragedy there. He is, in general, a very sad and tragic man. Yet one who loves life. A man who is used to taking life and to having it taken from him knows better than anyone the true value of living. Cyclops says that he’s the man he knows better than pretty much any other man alive. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t still have the ability to surprise him, and not always in a good way. Professor Charles Xavier says he could tell her what he knows of the man, things he imagines few others do. But he must admit he is far more interested in hearing what she has to say. So please, tell them, my dear (Melita Garner)… what does she think of Wolverine?
Inside a cabin in the Yukon, there is a television crew surrounding a wooden pit. The boss proceeds to ask his workers if the new arrivals are ready for their debut. One of his employees tells him you betcha. They’re good and riled up, ready to tear apart the first thing they see. The boss says it sounds like showtime to him. As the wolves are released from their cage with spiked collars on, the boss orders someone to fetch them a little something from the pen and let’s get this show on the…
Suddenly, a scream and the distinctive sounds of snikt are heard. When the boss asks what the hell was that, his employees around him are attacked and stabbed by claws. Standing in the pit, Logan states that he’s not sure what bothers him more. That he’s covered in someone else’s blood again… or that he enjoyed it so damn much. Releasing the wolves back into the wild, Logan says he’s already thinking about where he’ll head next. Maybe deeper into the woods this time, or higher up the mountains. Maybe…
Just then, Logan sniffs the air and realizes that something else is there. Making his way over to a locked vault, Logan pops his claws and wonders if it’s more blood for him to spill. Maybe it’s more chances to do what he does best: murder and destroy and… Slicing open the locked vault, Logan is surprised to see a bunch of children, all huddled together, all in tattered clothes, and some of them missing their arms.
With a renewed vigor, Logan gathers up the children and leads them home to their long-lost families.
Sitting atop the mountain, Logan looks down on the children and their families. He remarks that they were using wolves to fight children for sport. And if he hadn’t happened to wander out there when he did… If he hadn’t been running… So determined to leave his old life behind… If he hadn’t killed his own children… Sometimes he thinks, if there is a God… somebody oughtta punch him in his face. What the hell is all this supposed to mean anyway? What the hell is he trying to tell him? He ain’t much for askin’ for divine intervention, but how about giving him something to go on down there? Anything. Just some damn idea of where he actually belongs in this world. Of who the hell it is he’s supposed to be.
Just then, Melita calls out Logan’s name and asks him if he’s okay. Turning around, Logan asks her what the hell she is doing out there. Melita tells him looking for him, you big idiot. Logan says that he told her not to. Melita says when someone disappears and tells you not to look for them, that’s generally a clue that you should definitely go and look for them. Putting his hand on her face tenderly, Logan tells her she must be crazy, coming all the way out there on her own. She ain’t on her own, is she? Melita tells him nope. Believe it or not, she’s not the only person in the world who cares about him.
Turning around, Logan sees Nick Fury, Black Widow, Iron Man, Psylocke, Fantomex, Storm, Jubilee, Iron Fist, Professor Charles Xavier, Thor, Captain America, Thing, Cyclops, Colossus, Magneto, Ice-Man, Hope, Beast, Spider-Woman, Emma Frost, Rogue, Gambit, Kitty Pryde, Luke Cage, and Doctor Stephen Strange all standing there. He also sees all of the townspeople he helped save their children. With a gruff voice, Logan tells them all to c’mon. What are they all gawking at? Vacation’s over, they got work to do.
Later, Logan is all cleaned up. He sits down and tells Melita that they’re all wrong. Every damn one of ‘em. ‘Cept Namor, he can’t swim worth a damn. Melita says okay, then why doesn’t he tell her himself. Who is Wolverine? Logan replies that he can’t say. Melita asks can’t or won’t. When Logan says he can’t, Melita asks him why that is exactly. Logan answers because he doesn’t know. Because the only thing Wolverine is… is a work in progress. So in other damn words… to be #@$%&* continued.


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Goodbye Chinatown: Part 1
In the Chinatown section of San Francisco, a group of detectives answer questions from the media. They inform the crowd that they want to be perfectly clear. They do not have a drug war on their hands. One of the reporters asks doesn’t this make at least a dozen public executions of known Chinatown drug dealers in just the last three weeks. The detective replies that he cannot confirm those numbers. Another reporter asks if this somehow involves the reputed kingpin of the Chinatown underworld, the figure known only as the Black Dragon. The detective answers no comment. Another reporter asks if it is true that Kung Fu related deaths are already up 200% over last year. The detective answers no more questions.
Over near the crime scene, another detective asks a fellow police officer what they have. The cop tells him another dead drug dealer. The detective laments great, like he doesn’t already have enough of those. The cop says this one’s a little bit different. Upon seeing the victim with an odd looking blade sticking out of his chest, the detective asks what the hell that is. After the cop replies “you tell me,” an old Chinese man from the crowd says something in Chinese. Turning around, the detective asks what he said.
When the Chinese man repeats himself, in Chinese, the cop asks if anybody knows what the hell this guy is saying. A young boy speaks up and says “dragon tooth.” He said it’s a dragon tooth. The detective says dragon tooth. Right, kid. The cop adds and he’s a talking gorilla. As the young boy storms off in anger, he walks by a gorilla in a trench coat and hat standing in the crowd.
Inside the apartment of Melita Garner, Melita asks Logan if the rumors are true. He’s really leaving San Francisco? Logan tells her yep. Truth is, he already left. He just came back for his things. Crossing her arms, Melita says she sees. So that’s the only reason he came back then? Logan tells her no, not the only. He also came to say goodbye. Melita asks that he’s not even gonna ask her to come with him? When Logan asks her if she wants to come with him, Melita answers that, honestly, she doesn’t know where she wants to go. All the writing she did during the war against the serpent, it got her noticed. She’s got job offers coming in from all over. Logan says she has to go where she has to go. He understands. But so does he.
Melita asks why Westchester. That’s where the old Xavier school was, right? What’s there now? Logan tells her nothing. Not yet, at least. That’s another reason he came back. He’s gonna build a school. He’s gonna build it and run it. Melita asks seriously? Logan tells her that he’s not gonna lose any more kids. Putting her arms around Logan, she asks him how he’s gonna pay to build a school. Logan tells her he has money. Melita asks you do? Logan asks her why that is surprising. He’s been around a long time. Why wouldn’t he have money? When Melita points out that he lives out of a paper sack, Logan says because he chooses to. Melita asks he’s got enough to build a school? Where did he get that kind of money? Logan tells her never mind that. Melita then tells him that obviously, they’ve both got a lot on their plates right now. And she thinks they just… Maybe they both just need some time to think this all through. You know?
As Logan starts to walk away, he says yeah. Melita proceeds to tell him that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t still kiss her, jackass. As they begin to embrace, Melita asks him if this is all because she doesn’t like Westerns, isn’t it. Logan answers only partly. Melita adds that she never told him, but she doesn’t care much for war stories either. Logan tells her not to make this any harder than it has to be.
Just then, Melita says “um…” Without turning around, Logan asks there’s a kid watching them from the window, isn’t there? The young boy sees Logan and calls him Black Dragon. He was beginning to think he was dead. Logan tells him that he’s been busy. Looking at Melita, the kid says so he sees. Not bad. Looking down at the boy, Melita asks who this adorable little child is. The kid introduces himself as Yuen Yee, at her service. Does she wanna buy a watch, diamond earrings, slightly used switchblades?
Logan tells Melita that Yee is a friend from Chinatown. Yee says all right, let’s go, Black Dragon. He’s ignored his responsibilities for long enough. Turning to Logan, Melita asks him why Yee keeps calling him Black Dragon. Logan answers yeah, that. Did he forget to mention that he’s secretly the kingpin of the Chinatown underworld? Melita tells him yeah, she thinks he did. Logan says he’ll explain later. Melita asks if she’ll see him… Logan tells her to just wait for… Melita states that she doesn’t know where she’ll… Yee interjects and tells Logan to just kiss her already and come on! After kissing Melita, Logan follows Yee out onto the streets. Yee remarks that she’s a feisty broad. He likes her. Seems like a keeper. Logan says “yeah.”
Eventually, Yee and Logan enter the establishment known as the “Drunken Mantis.” Inside, the restaurant is in shambles. Sitting at a table, an old Chinese man sees the esteemed Black Dragon and remarks at last he deign to grace them with his presence. He is officially the worst Black Dragon ever. And need he remind him, the last few were butchers and psychopaths.
Bowing, Logan apologizes to the old Chinese man, Master Po, and tells him that he has neglected his responsibilities. Po agrees he has. He, Logan, was given the role as Black Dragon in order to keep peace between the rival tongs, to keep their streets safe. Yet they are not safe and he has been nowhere to be found. First there was that mess with the Collective Man that his friends the X-Men had to handle for him, and now this whole fiasco. And when was he planning on telling him that he was leaving San Francisco? Logan asks what? How did he know? Po replies that he didn’t. Not until he came in just now, and he read it on his face. Logan says he’s sorry. He’s failed him as Black Dragon and humbly resigns his post. Po tells him oh no, he’s not getting off that easy. First he’s going to clean up the mess he made.
Surveying the damage around him, Logan asks Po what happened there. Po tells him it was a drug war, though it wasn’t really much of a war. The local tongs are scattered, mostly dead now. There’s a new player on the scene. Nobody knows who they are or where they come from. Though he does have a few ideas. Logan says no, he means, what happened there? Po tells him that men in masks came looking for him. They killed the bartender with the tooth of a dragon. The Sons of the Tiger tried to stop them. They’re all in the hospital now with four broken legs and five broken arms between the three of them. He then tells Logan that he knows what he’s looking for. And he can already tell him it’s not there.
Looking at the broken, empty safe, Logan angrily states that there was money in that safe. A lotta money. His money. He was on his way to pick it up. Yee asks he’s got money? Where’d he get money? Logan tells Po he needs his money back. Po replies and they need their streets back. Logan says okay, so show him who to stab.
Inside a warehouse, an armed guard hears a knock at the door. When he tells whoever it is to go away, the person on the other side of the door tells him he has a delivery from Hunan Garden. The guard tells him that he’s got the wrong address and to get lost. The delivery person says c’mon. He’s got three orders of stuffed mushrooms and one fried calamari there. Somebody’s gotta pay for this stuff. When the guard puts his face closer to the peep-hole, he angrily tells the delivery person that he told him they didn’t order any…
Just then, Logan jams his claws through the door and into the guard’s eyes, killing him. Once inside, Logan tears through the guards inside. As he does, Po begins to eat the Chinese food. He proceeds to mention to Yee that he trained Logan in the finer points of eighteen different styles of Kung Fu, and yet he still just charges headlong into a hail of bullets. Yee remarks that it seems to be working all right for him.
Once all of the guards have been disposed of, Po opens up one of the crates and finds it full of heroin. The whole warehouse is full of it. He, Logan, was right. Yee tells Logan that he’s got a heckuva nose there. Looking around at all of the crates inside the warehouse, Logan asks how they are moving in this much product. Po asks how indeed. Turning his attention to one of the slain guards, Logan asks Po if he has any idea who these guys are. Po answers that they wear the mark of the Claw. Logan says Claw? As in…?
Stopping his thought mid-sentence, Logan sniffs the air and says hold it. He knows that scent. Just then, a giant gorilla leaps down and tells them Claw, as in Jade Claw. As for how they’re moving it in, well, he was just about to find out. Until you bozos showed up. Logan asks “What’re you doing here, monkey boy?” Coming face to face with Logan, the giant gorilla introduces himself as Gorilla-Man. After Logan says same difference, Gorilla-Man interjects that he’s been following this crew for three days now. And they were just about to lead him to their source, before he came in and stabbed them all.
Gritting his teeth, Logan asks why exactly he should trust him. How does he know him and his (Agents of) Atlas friends aren’t in cahoots with these fellas? Gorilla-Man asks cahoots? Who says cahoots? Being around him actually makes even him look young and hip. Logan tells him he’s gonna make him look like a shaved ape if he doesn’t get the hell outta his face. As Logan and Gorilla-Man continue their banter back and forth, Yee asks Po that they’re about to start fighting, aren’t they. When Po tells him that it would seem inevitable, Yee asks him who he thinks will win. Po asks does it matter. Either way, they all lose.
Just then, Logan and Gorilla-Man begin to tussle. While they do, Yee asks Po if they should do something. Po asks does he mean like actually focus on the task at hand instead of fighting each other like morons. Why yes, they should.
Activating a switch on a nearby statue, Po calls Logan and Gorilla-Man morons and tells them that whey they decide to start being helpful, they’ll be over there. Ceasing their fight, Gorilla-Man tells Logan “to be continued, runt.” Logan says sure thing, Planet of the Apes. It’s his funeral. Po tells them to both shut up and get to walking. He reminds them to mind their heads. Wouldn’t want either of them bumping it and getting a head injury. Lord knows they can’t afford them any dumber than they already are. Gorilla-Man tells Logan that his friends seem nice. Logan quips that at least he has some. Gorilla-Man retorts that he’s got friends. Last he checked, there were almost five of them. Logan says the robot doesn’t count.
At the bottom of the winding staircase, Logan and Gorilla-Man take out the two guards. Gorilla-Man says to Logan, “Stabbed him in the back. Classy.” Logan asks Gorilla-Man did he not just see him eat that guy’s ear. Po tells them both to be quiet. Somebody’s coming. Kneeling behind a nearby pile of rocks, Yee adds that the tunnels are enormous. He can’t believe a bunch of drug dealers did all this. Po replies they didn’t. They did.
Just then, the heroes see a gigantic sled of crates being pulled by two massive red dragons with guards flanking them on all sides. Po quietly tells Logan and Gorilla-Man that these are ancient tunnels, burrowed by dragons for thousands of years. What these people are doing to those beasts is a crime against nature. When Logan asks where these tunnels lead, Po tells him all the way back to the motherland. Gorilla-Man asks does he mean… this is literally a tunnel to China. That’s insane, and this is coming from a talking gorilla.
Just then, one of the dragons looks over at the heroes. Standing up, Logan remarks that they’ve been spotted and tells Yee to get outta there. If they ain’t back in two days, call the Avengers. Yee asks can they call ‘em now? Turning around, Gorilla-Man says to Logan let him guess – more friends of his. Logan replies not exactly. Flanked by Razorfist, Darkstrider, and Rock of Buddha, Soulstriker says “Hello Black Dragon.” They’ve been looking all over for him. Thanks for saving them the trouble of tracking him down. If they’d had to kill him on the street, they no doubt would’ve been rushed. But down there, they can take all the time they like. Flanked on both sides by foes, Gorilla-Man and Logan stand back to back. Gorilla-Man proceeds to ask if it’s too late for him to back outta this team-up.


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Goodbye, Chinatown: Part 2
Somewhere deep beneath Chinatown, a large, sumo-looking man plods through the terrain. As he does so, he mutters to himself “three chickens, two wenches and five bottles of wine.” No… no, make that two chickens, three wenches, eight bottles of wine and one steak. One big, fat, juicy steak. Stuffed inside a turkey. Or maybe… maybe just a warm bath and a soft feather bed and assurances from all the gods that he need never see the inside of another cave so long as he lives. No, definitely the wine. And the wenches. And at least three chickens.
Somewhere else deep beneath Chinatown, Logan, Gorilla-Man, Master Po and Yuen Yee face off against the combined forces of Soulstriker, Rock of the Buddha, Razorfist, Darkstrider and foot-soldiers of the Jade Claw. Squaring off against Razorfist, Logan asks him didn’t he kill him once before. Razorfist tells him not good enough he didn’t. Confronting Master Po, the six-armed Darkstrider tells him to stand down old man before he tears him in… gaaaaghhh!
Just then, Po breaks one of his arms. As he does, he remarks that he’s never broken six arms in one fight before. Five sure. But never six. When Gorilla-Man asks Soulstriker why they call him that, he gets his answer when Soulstriker jams his fist into his chest. One of the foot-soldiers of the Jade Claw asks Yee if he’s gonna show them his Kung Fu too. Shooting him in the chest, Yee says right, because all Chinese know Kung Fu. You racist *#$@.
As Logan faces off against Darkstrider and Gorilla-Man goes up against Rock of the Buddha, Logan tells Gorilla-Man to stop dancing and fight, you lazy knuckle-dragger. Gorilla-Man remarks it’s official. Logan’s rogue gallery is just as unpleasant as he is. That guy over there just punched him in the soul. Logan replies that need he remind him, his enemy’s the one using dragons to run drugs through a tunnel from China. Gorilla-Man says that’s the kinda crazy he’s used to. But not Kung Fu crazy. Not the “punching people in the soul” kinda crazy. Logan tells him he ain’t people. He’s a damn primate. Gorilla-Man quips says a guy whose back’s just as hairy as his. Does he see what he sees? Logan tells him to be ready to move. Just then, they leap out of the way and narrowly avoid being burned alive by fire spewing from a dragon’s mouth.
Soulstriker calls out to the dragons to claim their meat for themselves but their souls belong to him. From behind him, Po asks him if that is because he has no soul of his own. That would make him more worm than man, would it not? Come then, little worm. Claim his soul if he dares. As Soulstriker goes to attack him, Po is able to kick him in the mouth with a jumping high-kick. Following up with a punch to his face, Po tells Soulstriker that he has dishonored his family there today. What he has done to these noble dragons, forcing them to server as his drug-ferrying beasts of burden, will forever be his shame. Soulstriker asks noble, he says? He doesn’t know much about dragons.
While Logan and Gorilla-Man continue their battle, Soulstriker suddenly calls out enough. Standing in front of two dragons with Yee and Po in each of their mouths, Soulstriker tells Black Dragon (Logan) to stand down or he will show him what a real dragon can do. Po calls out don’t do it. Let him kill him if he wants. Just don’t give the bastard the satisfaction. Yee says don’t let him kill him. Just a kid here. Hello? Putting his hands up, Logan surrenders. Gorilla-Man asks him what the hell he is doing. Either way they’re dead. He knows he knows that. Logan replies that the kid’s too damn smart to die and the old man is too damn tough. Gorilla-Man asks yeah, where does that leave them?
A short time later, Gorilla-Man and Logan are drawn between two dragons by their hands and feet, back to back, opposite of each other. Realizing he has learned the answer to his previous question of where that leaves them, he remarks “why there of course.” How silly of him. Soulstriker tells them he regrets he cannot tarry in order to see them torn asunder, but the Jade Claw doesn’t pay them simply to take out the trash. They have a big wide world to pollute with narcotics. What? Nothing to say? Aren’t they at least going to beg for the lives of their friends? Tell him how this has nothing to do with them? That they’re just a kid and an old man and he should let them go?
Snarling, Logan tells him that when he gets outta this, he’s gonna find him. And he’s gonna take that other arm. And if he asks him real nice, he may even take his head. Peering at him, Soulstriker says yes. Well, they both seem to be working just fine now, don’t they? With that, he pushes Master Po over the side of the embankment. As he leads his allies away with Yuen Yee in tow, Striker tells them good day. If by some miracle the dragons do not pull them apart and eat them, bones and all, have fun wandering these tunnels until you both go mad and eat each other.
Left alone and at the mercy of the dragons, Gorilla-Man asks Logan too young to die, huh? Logan tells him to just hurry up and untie them. Gorilla-Man says he’s way ahead of him. As he unties the rope around his feet and Logan’s arms, Gorilla-Man remarks “opposable big toe.” He bets he wishes he had one right about now. Just hold still and he’ll have them on their way in no time. Once free from one set of bonds, the dragon they are still tied to takes off running. After Logan remarks that they’re definitely on their way, Gorilla-Man tells him to shut up and kill it. Before Logan has the opportunity to do so, the dragon is stopped dead in his tracks. Emerging from the shadows, a large sumo looking man with a number of tattoos exclaims at last. He knew someone would come for him. He welcomes them, his rescuers, with the hug of a thousand thank yous. Now please, tell him they’ve brought food.
Inside a wagon being pulled by two dragons with a large dwelling on the back, a number of man servants tend to the Jade Claw every need. As they massage her, fan her, pour her drinks, they also bring her food. Today’s dinner consists of Cantonese noodles with seared hummingbird hearts and caramelized butterfly brains. Grilled bull elephant tongue with shitake mushrooms and bald eagle hollandaise. Curried Tyrannosaurus pate, imported fresh from the Savage Land. Baby seal soufflé a la mode and bacon-wrapped tiger eyes sautéed, as always, in the tears of her enemies.
At that moment, Soulstriker bows and begs Jade Claw a thousand pardons, but there was a bit of trouble with the last shipment. All settled now, of course. Peering at Yuen Yee, Jade Claw asks him what is this he’s brought her. Bring it closer. Soulstriker informs her he’s from Chinatown. Those with whom he came have since been dispatched. Grabbing hold of his cheek, Jade remarks hmmm. Not bad. Though just a bit too young to be a concubine, she’s afraid. Put him in the fields.
When Yee asks “the fields,” he sees out the window and states she has poppy fields… at the center of the earth. Jade tells him correction. She has a poppy field the size of Australia. Plus enough underground greenhouses and meth caves to supply whatever vice the world so desires. Chinatown is but the first inroad. Soon enough, when anyone anywhere longs to smoke, snort, swallow, or inject anything illegal, they will first pay her for the privilege.
With a shocked look on his face, Yee asks so that’s it? That’s her whole plan? To become the world’s biggest drug dealer? Smiling, Jade tells him that, every morning, she bathes in the finest wines. Every night, 1,000 doves are plucked, just to stuff her pillows. She daily has her feet washed in the still-warm blood of women who dared presume themselves more beautiful than her. Her least expensive bra still costs more than it would take to feed his entire family for a year. Let the men up top argue over who rules what. She’ll be down there, quietly ruling them all. Yee says okay, he takes it back. That’s a pretty awesome plan. Would she maybe reconsider that whole concubine thing?
Grabbing hold of Logan, the large sumo-looking guy says “Wolverine! My old friend!” He has come all this way just to rescue him? He owes him his life. After Gorilla-Man quips “great, more friends of yours,” Logan asks does he know this guy. The sumo-looking man replies it is he – Fat Cobra of the Immortal Weapons. World-renowned Kung Fu champion and defender of mystical Peng Lai island. Do not tell him he has forgotten the only man to ever drink him under the table. He does not blame him for not recognizing him, as he fears he has wasted away to practically nothing after being lost in these wretched tunnels for so very long.
Logan remarks that he never drank him under the table. Turning to Gorilla-Man, Logan repeats that he never drank him under the table. Ignoring Logan, Gorilla-Man asks Fat Cobra how he came to be lost down there. Fat Cobra answers that the Oracles of Peng Lai warned of great trouble deep in the earth, so he went below to investigate. Perhaps he should have asked for more explicit directions, as he soon became lost in this confounding maze of tunnels. Since then, he has simply been walking the earth from the inside, searching for a way out, subsisting on a scat diet of cave moss, warm puddle water and three days ago an entire dragon. Come then, lead the way to freedom, his friends, and be you man or monkey he promises them the finest food, wine and wenches you have ever known.
After Gorilla-Man asks doesn’t anybody know the difference between a monkey and a gorilla anymore, Logan tells Fat Cobra tough luck. They’re just as lost as he is. Fat Cobra asks so... no food then? Looking around, Logan says he might have some beef jerky in his pocket. Gorilla-Man then asks Fat Cobra why he is looking at him like that. Fat Cobra tells him that he hears monkeys are considered quite the delicacy in some cultures. Gorilla-Man tells him don’t make him knock all his teeth out.
Just then, Logan tells them both to shut up. More damn dragons. Fat Cobra remarks one of each of them. Gorilla-Man adds that, if Jade Claw’s got a base down there, those dragons are the key to finding it. If they can follow them without being detected, they just might lead them right to…
Before he can finish his thought, Fat Cobra leaps over the rocks they were hiding behind and tells the dragons to prepare to be eaten. Following him, Gorilla-Man says so much for that plan. Logan asks him can’t he talk to them, tell ‘em they’re not their enemies? Gorilla-Man asks that he thinks he can talk to animals? When Logan asks can’t he, Gorilla-Man says no. Logan asks so he’s basically just a gorilla who talks like a man? Gorilla-Man remarks that he says that like it’s not impressive. Logan tells him it ain’t where he comes from.
Punching one of the dragons, Fat Cobra tells his friends not to lose heart. Their meat may be tough but ‘tis nothing a little tenderizing cannot remedy. Climbing another dragon, Gorilla-Man asks Logan what the hell he is doing. Standing in front of the third dragon, Logan tells him that he’s finding the people who stole his money and kidnapped his friend and threw his Kung Fu master down a bottomless pit. Ain’t but one way they’re ever gonna find their base. Ain’t but one way they’re gonna…
At that moment, the dragon chomps down on Logan. Upon witnessing that, Gorilla-Man tells Fat Cobra that he doesn’t believe it. Is he doing what he thinks he’s doing? Fat Cobra answers he doesn’t know. He just wishes he had gotten his beef jerky first.
Inside her temple, a concubine washes Jade Claw’s feet with the blood of a young woman who was killed. As he does, he asks if the Jade Claw requires anything else. Jade Claw says require – no. Desire? Oh, indubitably.
Out in the poppy fields, Yuen Yee asks one of the workers how one can apply to become a concubine or how that works. Meanwhile, Master Po continues his descent down the pit.
Just then, three dragons make their way to the temple. Inside one dragon, Gorilla-Man says this is never gonna work. Inside another, Logan tells him to be quiet. It will if he shuts up. Gorilla-Man adds that he can’t believe he let him talk him into this. That really hurt, you know? Logan says it’ll hurt a lot more if doesn’t be quiet. Hearing a loud burp, Gorilla-Man asks what that sound was. Inside the third dragon, Fat Cobra says his apologies. He ate part of an apple he found in there. It did not sit well in his stomach. Gorilla-Man says he’s not sitting so well himself. Logan tells them to both shut the hell up and focus on finding his money.


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Goodbye, Chinatown: Part 3
At Salem Center, located in Westchester County, New York, Harry from Harry’s Hideaway hangs up a sign that says “Closed. For Good!!” As he does so, he remarks there goes 40 years, down the tubes. One of his employees tells him that he did the best he could. Lord knows, times are tough all over these days. Harry says he knows but that doesn’t make it any easier though. Boy, they sure had their times there, didn’t they? Business was great there for a while. But a few years ago, he doesn’t know, it just seemed to dry up. He guesses ol’ Graymalkin Lane just ain’t what it used to be.
Just then, the ground begins to rumble and out from the hole in the ground emerges Wolverine with a torn shirt and a large dragon. Seeing his old friend, Harry asks Wolverine if that is him. Logan tells him it’s been a while. He doesn’t suppose his usual table’s still open. Harry tells him he bets his ass it is. Turning to his employees he tells them don’t just stand there. Open her back up. Can’t they see they just made their next month’s rent? Logan tells him more than that. He brought some friends along. With that, Logan tells Gorilla-Man, Fat Cobra and a bunch of the servants of the Jade Claw to follow him. Cold beer awaits and drinks are on him. On his back is a sack full of money.
Earlier, somewhere in the center of the Earth, Soulstriker punches one of the Jade Claw’s servants and tells him to move faster. The harder they work, the easier he makes their deaths. Move! Turning around, Soulstriker sees three gigantic red dragons standing before him. He proceeds to ask them what they are standing around for. Go make themselves useful before he scrambles up some of their hatchlings for breakfast. Do they hear him, stupid beasts? Look at them, all lazy and bloated. And their breath… My god, could they possibly be any more disgusting?
At that moment, the dragons regurgitate all over Soulstriker. Covered in slime, Gorilla-Man remarks that he’s debating who to kill first, Wolverine, or them. Logan tells him that it’s best to go with them, bub. Fat Cobra adds that he’s got to be honest, that wasn’t anywhere near the grossest thing he has ever been inside. And surprisingly enough, he’s now hungrier than ever.
As the armored followers of the Jade Claw sound the intruder alert, one of the concubines interrupts Jade Claw’s massage and offers her a thousand humble apologies, most gracious esteemed highness but it appears they have intruders. Jade Claw asks who would dare interrupt the Jade Claw’s hour of relaxation. She believes they know what to do with these interlopers. The concubine says aye, my queen. He shall have their tongues and lips sewn into sandals for her forthwith. Jade Claw tells him see that he does.
Surrounded by the Jade Claw’s guards, Gorilla-Man asks Logan what the plan is. When Logan tells him a buncha stabbing, Gorilla-Man says right. Bravo, General Patton. Fat Cobra asks that they leave at least one alive so that he may show them where they keep their food. Covered in slime, Soulstriker tells the guards not to just stand there, idiots, kill them. Engaging the guards in battle, Fat Cobra asks if he was talking to them or the guards. Gorilla-Man remarks that he’s not really with them, you know. He swears, he barely even knows them.
Amidst the poppy fields, one of the Jade Claw’s foot soldiers remarks that he hears gunshots, trouble at the compound. After another soldier points his weapons at the workers, he tells them to keep their heads down and get back to work, you vermin. Slamming his poppy filled sack into the soldier’s face, Yuen Yee says he bets the concubines don’t get talked to like that. Proceeding to pick up the soldier’s automatic weapon, he mows down the other soldiers with ease. Once done, he calls out to his fellow opium slaves to follow him to freedom. He adds a word of warning. The economy up top totally sucks right now and opium slave may actually not be such a bad job to have. As they all follow him, he tells them to suit themselves.
At the compound, Gorilla-Man, Logan and Fat Cobra continue their battle against the Jade Claw’s forces. As Fat Cobra uses technical Kung Fu moves, such as the white chi kidney jab, speeding snake kneecap smash, Mongolian jawbreaker and Shaolin sucker punch, Gorilla-Man fights with reckless abandon. Fat Cobra proceeds to remark to him that his monkey style needs work to which Gorilla-Man tells him to kiss his ass. Just then, Soul Striker yells at the soldiers to get back. When they don’t, he punches one of them from behind, killing him.
Approaching Logan, Soul Striker informs them that this one’s his. Coming face to face with Soul Striker, Logan says it’s nice to know he cares. Gritting his teeth, Soul Striker tells Logan that he is going to beat his soul to a quivering pulp. Logan asks him he thinks so, huh? Fine, take your best shot, chief. Rearing back his fist, Soul Striker replies don’t mind if he does.
In New York, Melita Garner enters an office for an interview. The man behind the desk tells her to come in. He has exactly 7 minutes before his next editorial meeting, so he apologizes in advance for being brusque. He’s read her work. In particular, her expose on Blackguard and her Frontline reports from their latest end-of-the-world global catastrophe there in New York. She’s very good. So good he has to ask, why did she leave her job in San Francisco?
Melita replies well, she… um… she thought it best to leave after… well… after a group of super villains attacked the office and tried to kill her. The interviewer says uh-huh. He sees. So when can she start? Melita replies she’s sorry… did he hear what she just said? The man on the other end of the desk, Joseph “Robbie” Robertson repeats that she said a group of super villains tried to kill her. He tells her this is the Daily Bugle. Their motto is: if there aren’t any super villains trying to kill you, you simply aren’t doing your job. Now does she wanna work there or not?
Following Robbie out into the rest of the office, Melita answers that she supposes she’ll have to… Robbie tells her she knows the drill. He’s offering very long hours for very little pay. And if they’re all really lucky, they may still have jobs a year from now. All he can really promise her is that she’ll get to write firsthand about the sorts of things that the rest of the world only sees in comic books. Just tell him one thing. Other than angering super villains, does she have any experience when it comes to dealing with super heroes?
Just then, a young man tells Melita “hi.” Yelling at the young man, Robbie tells him, Parker, that he doesn’t work there anymore. Stop sneaking in to use their bathrooms. Melita slyly looks over at Robbie and tells him he could say that, yes.
Deep beneath the surface, Logan yells at Soul Striker to do it. When Soul Striker punches Logan in the chest, he falls to a knee, clutching his hand in pain. He asks how this is possible. Logan tells him he might say he’s been… working out a bit since they last tangled. He has a girlfriend, buried one of his closest buddies, went to hell and back, had a buncha demons run wild in his head, was tricked into killing his own damn kids, had his face blown off by another of his friends and became headmaster to a school full of mutant teenagers. After all that, does he really think some one-armed joker who punches like a girl is gonna do him any damage?
Enraged, Soul Striker punches Logan in the chest again. When he does, Logan tells him to keep it up. It’s startin’ to tickle. Nearby, Fat Cobra punches out Rock of the Buddha. As he does, he tells him that he strikes him as a man who’s used to having to pay for sex. Tell him, where might one find wenches in these parts? Firing his rifle at Razorfist and Darkstrider, Gorilla-Man asks has he mentioned how much he hates Kung Fu.
As the battle rages on between all of the participants, four gigantic dragons suddenly appear out of nowhere. Yuen Yee points to Fat Cobra and says quick, let’s feed ‘em the fat guy. When Soulstriker gives the dragons the order to kill, the dragons unleash their fire upon Soulstriker. Atop one of the dragons, Master Po says he took the words right out of his mouth. That’s right, you worthless bums. Master Po yet lives. No thanks to any of them. Logan quips to Gorilla-Man that he told him he was too damn tough. Gorilla-Man replies that it’s about time he was right about something. With the dragons on the side of the heroes, the battle turns in their favor. Inside the Jade Claw’s compound, one of her concubines tries to tell her a dragon is there but Jade Claw yells at him and calls him an impudent dog. He has interrupted her tranquility for the very last time. Swallow his own tongue at once. Just then, the dragon unleashes his fire and burns the compound to the ground.
Making his way over towards a severely burnt Soulstriker, Logan tells him Jade Claw’s finished. Reckon he knows what’s next. He done punched his last soul, bub. With that, Logan slices off Soulstriker’s lone hand. Tossing it away, he tells Master Po that the rest is all his. On his knees, Soulstriker says please. He wouldn’t hit a man with no arms, would he? Po tells him no and promptly follows up with a foot to his nose.
At Harry’s Hideaway, Master Po raises his glass. As he recants his tale, he says he’d kick the living $@#* out of him. With that comment, a roar of laughter emits from the crowded bar. Logan mentions to Po that, the last time they saw him, he was falling down a bottomless pit. How’d he get outta that one? Po tells him he fell all the way to the Earth’s molten core, where he landed in a dragon’s nest. Turns out there are rival breeds of underground dragon, who’d been waging war for…
Looking at his empty bar, Gorilla-Man says he’s gonna need another beer if he has to listen to this. Chomping on a turkey leg, Fat Cobra asks Yuen Yee about the job as Black Dragon. Does it include any special perks? And if he’s being unclear, by “perks” he of course means wenches. Logan asks Gorilla-Man whatever happened to his pal, the Jade Claw. Gorilla-Man answers the last he saw her, she was on her way back to China (being chased by dragons).
When Logan says he guesses that’s that, Melita asks him if she can buy him another round, sailor. Melita tells him she can afford it. He’s looking at someone who’s now gainfully employed. Logan says the Daily Bugle, huh? Not bad. Melita replies yeah, the strange thing is though she never actually sent them her resume. Logan asks really? That is strange. He guesses one of her admirers must’ve done it for her. Melita says she guesses so. She supposes that means they’re not quite rid of each other just yet, huh? Logan tells her he supposes so.
Looking around, Melita mentions to Logan that she sees he got his money back. When Logan tells her “yep,” Melita asks if she dares ask who all the rest of these people are. Logan says he’d rather she didn’t. After she asks him if that gorilla is supposed to be drinking, Logan answers he doesn’t know, but they sure are. Clinking their glasses together, Logan says here’s to life in the Empire State. Melita replies that she’ll drink to that.
Elsewhere, three individuals in the shadows look at pictures of Kingpin, a Yakuza warrior, Hand ninjas, Amiko and the Silver Samurai, amongst others that can’t be seen. One of them remarks that the pieces are falling into place. Another says yes. In all the wrong ways, they’re afraid. Holding up a photo, another remarks that this is the one that scares them the most. When another says they thought he was dead, the reply is wishful thinking, apparently. He’s knee-deep in all this, they know. Just don’t know how or why. One of the figures asks what it all means. Another replies for one, lots of people getting killed. Other than that, they’re afraid this means they’re all gonna have to swallow a huge chunk of pride and face the last guy on Earth they ever wanted to see again: Wolverine.


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And Then There Was War: Part 1
By way of radio contact, a voice tells one of their undercover agents “all right, here we go.” As a limousine pulls up, the voice states that it looks like their secondary target is arriving now. Visual confirmation – the fat man has landed. He’s making his way through the park. You should have him any second now. The undercover agent, a young blonde-haired lady sees the Kingpin, flanked by his entourage and says she’s got it; she’s following. After she asks if there’s any sign of their primary target, she is told no and is reminded to stay sharp. As the young woman begins to tail the Kingpin, two homeless men looking in a trashcan watch her intently.
In another section of the park, Logan takes Melita Garner to a hot dog cart. Melita remarks that, when he says he’ll buy a girl breakfast, he really goes all out, doesn’t he? Logan replies that the next time they’ll do the Shake Shack, he promises. Laughing, Melita tells him now he’s just trying to impress her. She has to get going anyway. She doesn’t wanna be late for her fist day at the (Daily) Bugle. She still doesn’t quiet know her way around the subway. Yesterday, she thought she was going to Soho and ended up in the Bronx. Lovely place, the Bronx. As Melita continues to talk, Logan sees an older Asian man walking down the path, flanked by two of his men. Melita then begins to ask Logan what he’s got planned for the day but finds him to be nowhere around.
In a rather secluded area of Central Park, Kingpin welcomes Mr. Takenaka to New York City. Now mind telling him exactly what it is he can do for him. Takenaka says to Mr. Fisk that he can end this war before it begins. When Fisk asks what war this is, Takenaka tells him not to play games that will only get men killed – many men, both of theirs. Fisk replies that he’s a guest in his country, so he’ll forgive his ignorance. But he assures him he does not play games. Takenaka says either he is lying or it is him who is the ignorant one. Fisk tells Takenaka that he suggest he makes his point with more haste.
Takenaka asks Fisk that he knows the man named Kenuichio Harada, more commonly known as the Silver Samurai. After Fisk answers that he knows of him, Takenaka adds then he knows that he is dead. Fisk replies he did not, nor does he particularly care. Takenaka continues that Mr. Harada was the Oyabun of Clan Yashida, a powerful force in the Japanese underworld. His death has left a great vacancy there. One they are now expected to fight over. Fisk informs Takenaka that this man and his Clan mean nothing to him. He has no interest in squabbling over Japanese table scraps. Takenaka states nor does he have any interest in teaching manners to upstart Americans. But nevertheless, here he is. He has come all this way in order to secure a peace, face-to-face. His country has suffered much in recent months. He would not add to that burden with a needless war. Bowing, Fisk says then so be it. Let there be peace between the Hand and the Yakuza.
Watching from afar, voices remark that the bowing is good. Nice friendly meeting. Let’s just keep it that way.
Just then, from behind, one of the homeless men walks up to one of Takenaka’s men and asks him if he can spare any change. He’s trying to raise a down payment on a cheeseburger. When the man utters something in Japanese, the homeless man (Boyd Buzzard) jams his knife into the man’s neck. As he does, he says that sure didn’t sound very nice.
Hiding behind a tree, the young blonde lady following the action is informed that they have hostiles and to go to plan B.
As Boyd Buzzard takes a bite out of the man’s face, his brother (Bufford Buzzard) reminds him to stick to the plan. First they kill, then they eat. With that, Bufford fires his bone gun and shoots teeth bullets into the other man following Takenaka. Boyd tells his brother sorry. He just ain’t never met no Oriental fellar before. He’s gotta say, they ain’t bad. Bufford says fine, he can have all the little guys. He wants the big ole fat one.
Upon seeing the attackers, Fisk asks what in the hell... Takenaka calls Fisk a coward and a black-hearted devil. Fisk replies that this isn’t him, you crazy old bastard. Beginning to open up his shirt, Takenaka says this is what happens when you let an American run the Hand. He poisons everyone around him with his laziness and dishonor. Does he want to kill the Kumicho? Have the courage to do it like a man.
Just then, the young lady watching intervenes and knocks Takenaka to the ground, telling him to keep his shirt on as she does. The young blonde lady informs her contact that the target’s been acquired. Which way’s the exit? The contact tells her to hold that thought. They’re making one now.
At that moment, a shot is fired from afar from a rifle with scope and blows a large hole in Boyd’s stomach. Grabbing hold of his stomach, Boyd mentions to Bufford that he thinks someone just shot a big ole hole in his gut. Bufford says yeah, and proceeds to ask him how that makes him feel. Boyd replies would he believe… hungry as hell.
As the young blonde woman leads Takenaka and Kingpin away from the battle, her contact informs her that they’re super-powered. Get the targets out now. Make for the street. Takenaka says to Fisk that now he sends women to do his work, you cowardly… After the woman tells them both to keep moving, Fisk asks her who the hell she is. The young woman replies that her name is Cassie Lathrop and she’s there to keep them alive. Don’t make her second-guess herself.
Further back, Bufford remarks to Boyd that they’re making a run for it. Boyd says they ain’t goin’ nowhere. Let him just grab a quick bite. Just then, Logan arrives on the scene, pops his claws with a snikt, jams them into Boyd’s head, and tells him to chew on this. Bufford says well lookie here. It’s the man who cut off his pleasurin’ hand. Hold him down. Grabbing hold of Logan, Boyd tells him he’s got him. Carve him off a slice.
While Cassie continues to lead Takenaka and Fisk towards the street, she looks back and asks if that was a “snikt” she just heard. She could’ve sworn she just heard a snikt. Her contact tells her to keep moving. They’ve got this. Pulling another property of NASA experimental bullet asteroid buster out of the box, the contact remarks how tempting it is to wanna put one of these right up his… Instead, they fire at Bufford’s legs.
Reaching the street, Fisk mentions to Cassie that it sounds like they’re shooting cannons back there. Cassie tells him to just keep moving and points out that a nearby van is their ride. When she tells him to get in, Fisk says he’s had about enough of this. No way is he going anywhere with her. Pointing her gun at Fisk’s face, Cassie tells him that she swears to God she will kill him herself before she’ll let them do it. That’s just the sort of sore loser she is. Get in the van. Now! As Takenaka and Fisk enter the van, the driver, a young woman asks Cassie if she really heard a snikt. Did she see him? Cassie tells her simply to drive.
Back inside Central Park, the shooter fires again, this time hitting Boyd. Lying on the ground, Boyd weakly tells Bufford that he don’t feel so good. What in the hell kinda bullets were those?
Inside the van, the driver asks Cassie what the hell happened. Who tried the hit? Cassie informs her that it was a coupla homeless guys with guns that shoot teeth. Turning towards Fisk, she asks him if that rings any bells, fat boy. Just then, the driver curses and slams on the brakes. Standing outside the van, Logan tells everybody to get out, slowly. Don’t make any sudden… When the windows are rolled down, Logan sees the two ladies inside and asks what… in the hell… are they…? From behind, a diminutive woman asks Logan that he sees lots of familiar places, huh? Make it one more. <>
Turning around, Logan sees Seraph carrying a sniper rifle and mentions that he thought she was… Seraph asks “dead?” Yeah. And last she heard, he was in hell. Logan asks what this is. What sorta web is she tangled up in this time? Seraph tells him war, assassination, international espionage. He knows, same old same old. Get in. She’ll explain on the way.
As Logan prepares to enter the van, Melita arrives and asks Logan what this is. Why did he run off? Who are all these women? Stammering, Logan says to Seraph um… this is… Seraph asks Logan does he think she doesn’t know who he’s sleeping with at any given moment. She then tells Ms. Garner that it’s a pleasure to finally meet her. Formal introductions will have to wait. Everybody please… get in the damn van.
Sometime later, as Mr. Takenaka boards a private plane, Seraph tells Cassie to get on the phone to Japan and tell them Takenaka is on his way home, still in one piece. Tell them they did their job.
At that moment, Fisk demands to know what’s happening there. Who do these women work for? Wagging her finger at him, Seraph informs Fisk they work for her, Seraph Investigations. Does he want a business card? She can nail one to his kneecap if he’d like. Fisk asks who she works for, little woman. Seraph answers whoever the hell she pleases, at present, the Japanese government. Their mission was to make sure Mr. Takenaka didn’t meet with any unfortunate accidents during his trip there, like being gunned down in the park by super-powered homeless men.
After Fisk states that he had nothing to do with that, Seraph asks is that right. Logan interjects that they’re called the Buzzard Brothers. But when he crossed paths with them, they were just regular old rednecks who liked to eat folks for fun. Somebody powered ‘em up. Pulling out her radio, Seraph says let’s just find out who, shall they?
Inside a warehouse, the driver of the van, Lynx, continues to beat on the chained Buzzard Brothers. Seraph radios in and asks if their captives said anything. Lynx replies that they said everything. Seraph asks if they said everything then why is she still hitting them? Lynx answers it’s either hit them or tear her eyeballs out. Did she see her? She bets she thinks she’s prettier than all of them put together. Seraph tells her to keep it together or she goes back to the jungle. Lynx says ninjas. They say they work for ninjas. Fisk says that’s a lie. Seraph says maybe or maybe he just isn’t as in control of the Hand as he’d like to believe.
Just then, two limousines pull up and a number of Hand ninjas leap out, surrounding Fisk. Fisk informs them he will be leaving now, and takes off. Watching him leave, Seraph says ah shucks. And here they were just getting to know each other.
With Mr. Takenaka on his way back to Japan, and Fisk gone, Seraph says somebody wants a war. And if it isn’t either one of them… Logan tells Seraph that she really needs to tell him what the hell’s going on. Cassie yells at Logan that they don’t take orders from him, #&*%@. Seraph tries to calm her down, but Cassie exclaims no, to hell with him. They can’t trust him. She might think she can but, just as soon as you look the other way, he’ll up and run out on you. Melita says oh okay, she gets it. They’re all ex-girlfriends, aren’t they? When Logan calls out Seraph’s name, she tells him that like she said, someone in the Japanese underworld wants to see a war between the Hand and the Yakuza. If Takenaka had died on American soil, that’s exactly what they would’ve had. Logan asks someone, “like who?” When she gives him no answer at first, Logan asks, “like who?” Seraph tells him she has some ideas and he isn’t gonna like ‘em.
Aboard Takenaka’s plane, the pilot says there are clear skies ahead. They should be touching down in Tokyo in about 12 hours. Turning to his co-pilot, he asks if something is wrong. His co-pilot says he could’ve sworn he saw another plane back there. The pilot tells him there’s nothing on the radar.
Just then, a loud whump is heard that shakes the plane. The pilot asks what the hell that was and tells his co-pilot that he better go check on Mr. Takenaka, just to be safe. Heading back to the main part of the plane, the co-pilot asks Takenaka if everything is all right. When Takenaka asks what that noise was, the co-pilot says it was just a bit of turbulence. He can assure him everything’s all… Looking out the window, Takenaka remarks and so, the devil comes at last… At that moment, a large hand crashes through the window, grabs Takenaka, and pulls him out of the plane.
Perched on top of the plane, Takenaka’s attacker is asked via radio if they have made contact with the target. The attacker replies oh yeah, he’d say so. The radio asks him to please confirm that the target has been neutralized. The attacker answers that the target’s taking a nose dive from 30,000 feet. That neutralized enough for them? He told them he’d deliver, didn’t he? They wanted a war? Sabretooth just gave them a war.