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[Assistant]
Dead Man's Switch - part 1
When Sandi was five years old, she fed a starving dog that lived behind her family’s house. The dog ate the food and bit Sandi. Yet two days (and seven stitches) later, young Sandi  again tried to feed the same dog. When her mother asked if she had lost her sense, Sandi answered „But Mother – He knows me now“.
Today, Sandi Brandenberg gets her groceries from her car and is on her way to her apartment. A half-naked and badly scarred man jumps out off the stairway and after managing to say “hungry“, he falls unconscious on the young woman. Sandi takes a gun out of her handbag, but then puts it back and drags the man into her apartment. She says that she give him something to eat, but then he would have to go. Somewhat later, the man has made quite a mess out of Sandi’s kitchen, and eaten almost everything she had in the fridge. He thanks Sandi, who notices that the man is crying blood. The stranger actually takes it as a relief since he hasn’t been able to detect his pulse for the past ten minutes. He wipes away his bloody tears, apologizes for the mess he made and promises to leave now.
Sandi however asks him to wait. She thinks that the man resembles a man called Wade Wilson, a mercenary she once knew. The man doesn’t reply, because he starts bleeding again, which is pretty painful. Sandi takes him to the couch, gives him some clothes of her last boyfriend and asks him what he wants. He replies that he wants to be the best mercenary ever., and for that he will need her help.
Twenty miles away, in the Kenichi Building, Higashi, lord of a criminal organization talks to his right hand, a woman called Saguri. He asks her if she thinks the dead are aware of their actions, and she replies that he was only made their new lord based on the wishes of their late lady, the former Eastern Wind. However she believes that the other underbosses don’t trust Higashi’s competence and that they will soon ask her to kill him, which she would do. Then he could speak to the dead himself. Higashi then enters the boardroom and makes the error of apologizing for being late. Saguri whispers to him that he shouldn’t do that. One of the underbosses, known as Sonoda, tells him about some problems he had, but he can deal with them. He obviously doesn’t trust Higashi’s abilities. At the end of the meeting, the underbosses leave, muttering insults and contemplating rebellion. Higashi is furious, he is capable of killing any of them in a fight. Saguri advises Higashi to take some action soon.
In Sandi’s apartment, the amnesic man is annoyed with Sandi’s cat, as he tries to get some sleep on the sofa. Hearing someone at the door, he grabs a poker and waits behind it. A man enters the apartment and the amnesiac man attacks him. The “intruder“ easily grabs the poker and takes it from him. He drops his holographic disguise and his face changes to reveal the skull-like mask of the Taskmaster. He attacks the stranger, but Sandi enters and stops him. Sandi introduces the Taskmaster to the amnesiac, who by now calls himself Alex Hayden, as her new partner. The Taskmaster doubts Alex’s ability to become a mercenary, but Sandi stabs Alex with the poker to demonstrate that he can take it. Alex is wounded, the poker went clear through his stomach, but he doesn’t seem to be greatly disturbed. Sandi tells the Taskmaster that they both will help Alex to get into the mercenary business.
(the following days)
Taskmaster takes Alex to a gym and begins training him. He fights him in the style of a different persons, wearing different trademark T-shirts to tell the inexperienced Alex which hero’s style he is currently duplicating. After half an hour, Alex gets some time to regenerate and the Taskmaster gets changed to battle him as somebody else. Like suggested by Sandi, Alex keeps a training journal – in the first week, the Taskmaster fights him as Captain America, Spider-Man, Wolverine and Elektra, each time with the same result – the Taskmaster wins and Alex is injured and bleeding. The training is so intense that Alex deliberately bleeds on the Wolverine shirt to stop Taskmaster from ever wearing it again. By training day three Alex starts to suspect that Taskmaster doesn’t like him. A few days later, Taskmaster tells Sandi that Alex is a bad student. Sandi doesn’t want to hear it, but Taskmaster tells her that Alex is going to cause trouble and he doesn’t want to see her hurt.
In the Kenichi Building, Higashi calls Saguri and orders her to find out what problem Sonoda was talking about, and also whether Sonoda is expendable. Saguri notes that he did not apologize for waking her.
(the next day)
Taskmaster follows Sandi’s advice and decides on a new training method. The gun-expert Outlaw is called in to teach Alex how to shoot. Alex turns out to be a natural and Outlaw tells the Taskmaster that she thinks that Alex isn’t Wade Wilson, because this man is a far better marksmen and he can shoot equally good with both hands, while Wade was slightly better with his right hand. Alex is happier with Outlaw as a trainer, mainly because he doesn’t need to heal for an extensive time afterwards.
At night, the Taskmaster and Sandi take Alex to a graveyard. The Taskmaster tells Sandi that he did some research, but nobody heard of Alex before, and since no one has seen a sign of Deadpool  since he got blown up in Germany, he thinks that Hayden is only acting amnesic and that he really is Wilson. Sandi however doesn’t want top go back to dancing, she liked running a mercenary agency and with a little help Alex will be great in the business. As they reach Deadpool’s gravestones, both of them, Sandi asks him if it brings back any memories, but Alex denies. Alex is thinking to himself that he doesn’t even  want to know about his past, as being nobody is very liberating.
In the Kenichi building, Higashi has taken dramatic steps to increase his authority. He has killed Sonoda and gave every other underboss a box with one of his bodyparts. Higashi then gives orders: Wei will take over Sonoda’s territory and evict the tenants of a certain building. He then tells them that the organization has been adrift sine the death of their lady, but now the time for grieving is over. There are profits to be had, acquisitions to be made and enemies to bury. The Four Winds are returning.
The Taskmaster has become increasingly annoyed with Hayden. Out of precaution Hayden brought extra bandages and hid the Elektra T-shirt, so that at least he won’t get injured with the sais again. Taskmaster beats up Hayden, calls him Wilson and tells him that he wants him to leave. He says that Deadpool played some lame jokes before and he doesn’t buy the amnesia story. However, Hayden replies that he is not Wilson. The Taskmaster replies that this is just one more reason to shoot him. He could at least stand Wade Wilson, but he doesn’t give a damn about Alex Hayden. Finally having enough,  Alex surprises the Taskmaster with a kick that knocks him over. He takes his gun and threatens to shoot him, but then Alex helps the Taskmaster up since it would be impolite to shoot him. Taskmaster is confused: his talents allows him to copy every move he sees, but he can’t get a read on Hayden’s last kick. Hayden is surprised too, he didn’t even know what he did. Taskmaster asks for his gun and then continues the training, being even more irritated and aggressive towards Alex.
Finally the day has arrived that Alex can go out to find a job, as he can’t sleep on Sandi‘s couch for the rest of his life. He puts on the costume designed by Sandi, and the Taskmaster comments that he looks like a crash test dummy on a hot date. The first bar where he tries to find a job, he just is laughed at. In some of the next bars, he only gets job offers by drunk tourists who were way too lonely. At the eleventh bar, he decides to impress the public to get some respect. He enters and offers his services. The people laugh at him, but Alex then breaks his own fingers. The guests are silenced and one man steps up to Alex. His name is Paul Steinen and he offers Alex a job. Alex is too busy to notice most details because of Paul’s ridiculous haircut. Paul turns out to be the owner of Alpine Park, but criminals (the Eastern Wind’s organization, as shown in previous scenes) are driving everybody out of the area so that they can continue their own plans for the land. They scared Paul‘s employees away and when he still was unwilling to sell, they set his show animals loose.
Alex accepts the job and the next thing he is walking on the edge outside a building to capture an ape. He slowly approaches the ape and tries not to startle him, but he slips on the ape's feces and falls off the building. Four disgusting hours later, he returns several animals to Paul – the ape, a trycicle riding poodle, a falcon and a pig. By now Alex is completely pissed off, but not all animals have returned yet. The next animal is a tiger. Alex goes to the subway, where the tiger was last seen. While Alex thinks about the usual horror movie concept of the chatty guy getting eaten after entering a dark tunnel, the tiger attacks at the same time as a train comes. Alex shoots the tiger with a tranquilizer, throws her out of the train’s way and rolls off the tracks just in time. The last missing animal is an elephant, who is swimming in the river. Alex is capable of getting the elephant out and storms the Kenichi building while riding the elephant. He tells them to leave Alpine Park alone.
In Sandi’s apartment, Taskmaster is taking to somebody on his mobile phone. He is offered a job, but refuses as he is not “messing with that guy“. Agent X enters, muttering that he won’t do no more animal jobs. He complains about the smell, but he proudly tells the Taskmaster that at least he succeeded. Sandi opens the envelope containing Alex‘ payment – it’s no check, but a deed to a theme park. The Taskmaster then tells to the person he was talking to on the phone that he has a friend who would be perfect for the job in question.


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Dead Man's Switch - part 2
Alex, his partner Sandi and his rival Taskmaster visit Alpine Park, the theme park, Alex now owns. Sandi and Taskmaster think that the place is a dump, but Alex is very happy with the place. At the same time, Alex is thinking to himself that if he keeps repeating the name Alex Hayden enough times, he might discover why he picked the name. Alex tells the others how much he loves the place and he tries to convince the others of the potential of the it. Sandi says that the place looks pretty run down and even potentially dangerous, but Alex is eager to get in and check if the previous owner left any of the animals.
At the Kenichi Building, Higashi is investigating the damages caused by Agent X (last issue). Wei tells him that the damages where done by an insane man riding an elephant. The elephant used to belong to the man that owned Alpine Park which they tried to purchase. The owner has left town though and the amusement park has a new owner now, who has made his unwillingness to sell very clear. Higashi orders Wei to do a cost analysis of how much it would cost to have the new owner killed vs. an 5 % increased offer for the property.
While Alex still tries to enter the Park, ripping on the chains that keep the entrance gate locked, the Taskmaster tells him that he has a ‘gig’ for him. Sandi is skeptic, but Taskmaster says that it is a low-risk job. He even lends Alex his car. Alex is confused by Taskmaster’s friendly behavior, but the Taskmaster tells him that he only is so hard on him for his own good. Alex inspects Taskmaster’s CD collection in the car, but he can only find Spice Girl CD’s, even their solo stuff, while he would prefer classical music. Sandi tells him to be careful and to back away from the job if he gets the feeling that something isn’t right. Agent X doesn’t care and drives away. Watching him leave, the Taskmaster tells Sandi that this is something Alex has to do.
At the Culver Sport and Gun Club, several mercenaries are briefed on their job by five of the club’s members. They are to bring back a pair of unique items within 48 hours. The winning mercenary will get $250.000, while the member that hired the winner will get the unique pair of items and the losers‘ mistresses. The other mercenaries, B-1, the Scalpel and Bloc quickly agree to do it, only the last mercenary, Alex’s pistol-trainer Outlaw, is hesitant, wanting to know more about the job first. Alex tries to make a joke about a cashless society but it doesn’t go well with his fellow mercs. Alex then asks what they are supposed to get.
Back in her apartment, Sandi finds out what the assignment was and slaps the Taskmaster in the face. He tries to explain that he is only protecting Sandi, sooner or later Alex is going to get her killed. However Sandi still can’t believe that he sent out an untrained and inexperienced mercenary to get the Punisher’s guns.
In the club the five mercs have just filled in on their missions. Alex notices that Outlaw signals something to him, but he isn’t sure what it means. He guesses that the Punisher must be rough company, as she looks somewhat spooked. The spokesman of the Gun Club tells them that they have arranged a prey for the Punisher and that they hope to see a rousing competition. Alex asks when the competition starts and when the man replies now, he immediately starts to beat up the Scalpel. B-1 tries to fly away, but Outlaw catches him with a lasso that she ties around Bloc’s head, taking them all out. Only Outlaw and Alex are still standing. Both point their gun at each other, neither willing to shoot the other yet. Outlaw advises Alex to go home, since he isn’t ready for the Punisher and her. She jumps out of the window. Alex follows her to see her driving away and notices that she has punctured the tires on Taskmaster’s car.
The five members of the club are arguing, the three losers think they should be disqualified, but the two that have their operatives still in the game deny this, and asks the others to pay and leave their mistresses.
(ninety minutes later)
On a roof, Outlaw has a sniper gun and is prepared to shoot the Punisher, but she is attacked by Alex who wants money from her for his cab fare. Outlaw throws a punch at him, but misses him, destroying the bricks behind him. Alex is shocked, since he didn’t know she was that strong. The two fight each other for some time, and when he calls her Crazy Inez, she gets even more annoyed. The two continue to battle until they realize that on the street below, the Punisher has already left. Outlaw then throws them both over the side of the roof, while Alex makes a mental note that superbeings always fight each other because it’s fun. Having safely landed in a pile of rubbish, Outlaw tells Alex that she is proud of him. He knew she was stronger and he did not have his guns, still he did not quit.
Outlaw takes him to a bar, where his eyes start bleeding again. However Alex says that with this kind of music, he is surprised that his ears aren’t bleeding. He asks Outlaw if she doesn’t think that the whole country and western bar is a bit silly, but Outlaw comments that it makes her think of home. After some drinks, they line dance together (with Alex thinking that he needs more beer), ride a mechanic bull and finally they leave the bar. Alex is pretty drunk by now and Outlaw takes him to her apartment. Alex wants to call Sandi, but Outlaw tells him that she can’t help him right now. Outlaw takes off her hat and asks Alex if he wants to kiss her. Alex thinks that he hasn’t been around that long, but this must be one of the dumbest questions he has been asked in his lifetime. Pointing towards a bruise, Outlaw tells him to kiss her where he hit her. Then the lights go out.
(the next morning)
Alex wakes up and freaks out when he sees Outlaw’s bodiless head next to him. He screams again when Outlaw herself enters with short hair and it is shown that the bodiless head is simply a dummy with her wig. Alex asks about the wig and if her breasts are real then. Outlaw’s answer doesn’t please him. At breakfast they talk about Alex’s lack of life experience (due to his amnesia), he never was drunk before. She then invites him to come along to grab the Punisher’s guns. While he was asleep, she got a tip.
Through a pair of binoculars, Outlaw sees the Punisher leaving his apartment. They try to break in and Alex get repeatedly blown up by booby traps. They find the Punisher’s whole arsenal, accept for his two custom .45s that they needed to find. When they look around, they see the Punisher standing behind them with the two guns in his hands. They beg to him not to kill them and tell him about the gunnuts that offered them money for his guns. The Punisher thinks for a moment and then asks how much money they would get.
Somewhat later, Sandi receives a phone calls from Alex. He asks her if she can come and pick him up. In the background Taskmaster wonders why she has to pick him up when he lent Alex his car. Alex then explains that it’s kind of embarrassing, but the Punisher took Outlaw’s car and is on the way to the club to collect the bounty himself. Alex then asks if they also could bring some clothes, as he also stole their clothes and Alex and Outlaw are standing in a phone booth.
Outlaw’s car enters the drive way to the gun club and Punisher puts on Outlaw’s hat, while listening to her country music. He enters the building and fires five times.


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Dead Man's Switch - part 3: Quiet Desperation
Alex attacks Taskmaster, while thinking about how he was a complete fool to let Taskmaster toy with him like he did, as he set him up against the Punisher. Sandi tells Outlaw that she hates how Alex kicked in her door, as she was already getting the key. Outlaw thanks Sandi for coming to get them and lending her clothes and she wonders how Alex can be beating up Taskmaster, since during the training sessions he never even got close. Sandi thinks that they just should kiss and make up, but Outlaw remarks that Alex isn’t ‘that way’. Sandi gets the meaning and asks Outlaw if she really did do it with Alex.
Taskmaster tries both Captain America’s and Spider-Man’s fighting styles but Alex easily dodges him. Outlaw notices that Alex is improving every second. Taskmaster uses his solid sound device to imitate Spider-Man’s webbing but misses Alex and webs up Sandi’s cat instead. Alex tells Taskmaster how he got all the moves of those heroes and the toys, but that’s it. He isn’t the heroes. He kicks Taskmaster, who hits the floor. Sandi stops Alex and asks Tony if he really did send Alex out to be killed. Tony replies that he was just trying to protect her. Sandi tells him that he still blames himself for getting her hurt last time, but that he doesn’t need to protect her anymore. Taskmaster gets up and accuses Sandi of being in love with Alex and that she simply wants him out of the way. Angrily Sandi slaps him in the face and Taskmaster leaves. Before he goes out of the door though, he tells Alex that he will kill him on sight whenever he sees him again. Alex shoots his jock strap at Taskmaster and makes a remark how they come in more sizes than extra teensy. Taskmaster threatens Alex once more and finally leaves. Surprised Sandi asks Alex how he was capable of beating Taskmaster. Alex replies that he has no idea, but it was refreshing. Behind them Sandi’s poor cat is still webbed up against the wall.
Elsewhere Mary Zero thinks to herself how she is basically homeless. She is alive and visible, but nobody besides herself knows she exists and is aware of her presence. She is actually undetectable. Mary enters the home of a young couple and takes food of the table, while the couple doesn’t even notice her. She leaves after taking some bacon from the plate and feeding some to the dog. The wife asks her husband if he wants more bacon and he replies that he didn’t even have any. Mary has been sleeping in their guest room for some time, unbeknownst to the couple.
Mary leaves the house, again thinking about how her powers work : usually people don’t even notice her, sometimes they do, but they forget her within a very short time. She just fades from their memory. She goes out to steal a birthday gift for herself and on the way, she takes the gun from a police officer. Mary enters a lunchroom and threatens the girl behind the counter with the gun, but she doesn’t even see Mary and asks her boss if she can go home. Her boss agrees and Mary leaves, disappointed that nobody saw her at all.
Alex, Sandi and Outlaw visit Alex’s new Alpine Fun Park once more. Sandi thanks Inez for coming along, as the place is really a mess and they might need her help. She then informs that she arranged an appointment with a Mr. Arcade, a thrill ride specialist, and that she got him a new job. Sandi asks Outlaw if she wants in on the job and she agrees. Alex is gloating again at his park, but Sandi and Outlaw are speechless with how dirty and run down it is. Alex starts to eat the cotton candy and Sandi warns him not to eat it: the park has been closed for weeks. Alex asks Outlaw if she wants to ride the horses on the carousel, as she is from Texas. Then he has a better idea, they could to ride the coaster to check if the brakes are still working. Sandi sighs, do guys ever grow up ?
Sandi notices that a limousine pulls up in front of the park. Alex goes out and sees Higashi, who invites him inside so he can make him an offer. He enters the car and offers Higashi a corndog. Higashi accepts and takes a bite, just when Alex remarks that how some people like to thaw them out first and deep-fry them, while he likes them fine just deep-frozen. Higashi is disgusted, while Alex simply eats the frozen corndog he has. Higashi gets down to business: both are new at their jobs and both have to prove themselves. Higashi explains that his firm needs the land Alex now owns, and he offers to buy the park - it could be advantageous to both. Alex refuses and when he steps out, he tells Inez that he just turned down a very generous offer. However she asks him if he has brought his guns with him. Alex denies it, and neither has Outlaw, which means they are in trouble as they are threatened by Saguri and several of Higashi’s men, all pointing their weapons on them. Sandi comes to the rescue, riding the park’s elephant and tells them to leave their property while they still have the chance.
Half an hour later, Alex and Inez (dressed in normal clothes) arrive in front of a jeweller store for their new job. Alex buys a hot dog even though Inez says that she heard they had weasels in them. The owner of the store, Francis Wahlfert asks Alex if he’s Deadpool. Alex replies that he is his older brother, Fredpool and then introduces him to Outlaw, who is going to be their mole. Francis explains how his store got robbed three times in a row by the same people and the police haven’t been able to really help him. If he gets robbed again, he will lose his insurance. Alex replies that he understands and that Francis not only wants the robbers caught, but a little vengeance too. Francis admits this with careful wording, but Alex tells him not to worry; Francis hand’s will stay clean. He goes to the observation room and asks Inez if she is going to be OK wandering around the store all day. Inez watches the jewelry and tells him that it won’t be a problem.
Alex tells Francis that sending the regular security team home was a good idea in case they had somebody on the inside. He then watches the security cameras for about seven hours and falls asleep, before an elderly man and his much younger wife enter. Outlaw leaves the story to buy some hotdogs, telling the Hot Dog Man that should Alex ask, he has never seen her. At this time both Mary Zero and the robbers arrive in front of the store at the same time. One of the robbers is not at ease, robbing the same store four times seems like pushing their luck. Mary Zero looks at Outlaw and hopes that all those hot dogs go straight to her thighs. The robbers then enter the store and tell Francis that they should get a discount for being there so often. Francis tells them that he pushes the alarm, but the robbers reply that they have paid some men to set off the alarms in twelve other stores, so they will have time enough. Mary doesn’t bother, she just wants to pick up a birthday present for herself and the others don’t know that she is there anyway.
Outlaw notices that the store gets robbed and pulls out her gun. She storms inside, but the robbers fire at her and she falls backwards through the window. Agent X wakes up from the noise and immediately realizes what is happening. On their way out, the robbers grab the jewelry that Mary Zero was holding and she runs after them and enters the getaway car to get it back. Agent X checks on Outlaw and asks her how hard she can push. She tells that even with multiple bullet holes she can push pretty damn hard.
In the getaway car, Mary Zero tries to tell the robbers that she wants her necklace back, but they don’t even notice her or the gun that she’s holding. One of the robbers suddenly gets hit in the shoulder, but when one of his partners goes to check, he notices that it isn’t blood, but ketchup. Next to them, Alex is riding the hot dog cart, given enough speed by Outlaw’s push to catch up to the car. The driver rams the cart and Alex loses his balance and his guns. Riding the cart like a skateboard, Agent X rams the getaway car from the side and rams the cart’s umbrella through the front window, causing the car to crash over to the side. Alex threatens the robbers inside, who are all too messed up to notice that he’s holding a wiener instead of a gun. He then frees Mary Zero and asks her if she’s okay. Mary replies that she’s okay and when Alex tells her that he was worried about her, Mary is so surprised that somebody is aware of her existence, that she immediately falls in love with him and kisses him. Alex is surprised and tells her that she’s giving the cops another reason to arrest him, while Mary notices to herself that this is the man she’s going to marry.


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Dead Man's Switch - part 4: Invisible
Alex is eating in an expensive restaurant. Sitting across him, Mary Zero stares at him like a love-sick puppy. He tells her to quit doing that, but she replies that she enjoys watching him eat. Sitting on a table next to them another customer compares the delicious kreplach with “sex on a plate“. A waitress arrives with another plate of food. Alex asks Mary whether she wants something and the waitress asks who he is talking to. Alex points at Mary, but the waitress can’t see her. For Mary is business as usual, most people can’t see or hear her. As the waitress walks away, Mary wants to know if Alex thinks she is pretty. Alex however is busy eating his food. He thinks that if this is supposed to be a Latverian delicacy, it’s no wonder that Dr. Doom always tried to invade neighboring countries.
Alex gets a phone call from Outlaw who tells him that his last client was very happy and that she’s fine, but she is turning in an expense report for her ruined dress. Alex agrees and asks Outlaw to collect the check and meet him at Sandi’s place. The guy on the other table is again praising the cuisine and compares the wine to “sex in a glass“.
Mary tells Alex how she knew he was special when she discovered that  not only could he see her, but he also remembered her when she wasn’t in plain sight. Alex however says that although this crush thing she has is very adorable, he is a mercenary and that his line of work is dangerous to children. Mary states that she is not a child, but that she is nearly fift….eighteen. Besides nobody ever notices her, so she could be a great help in his business. Alex dismisses her suggestion, he is not going to send out a fourteen year old girl to get killed and asks for a waiter.
The waiter arrives and Alex asks him to identify his food, which turns out to be bugs and sea-monkeys. Alex checks the menu once more, and asks why they aren’t wearing the little crowns, like in the picture, and the waiter explains that they fall off when they are boiled.
By then the other customer once more talks about the quality of the food, boring the beautiful female sitting next to him. In the man’s opinion this food should be savored, tested, enjoyed, ....
Alex finally has enough of it. He attacks him and puts a gun in his mouth. Alex says that he doesn’t like people talking in restaurants, especially not about such dumb thing like food being sex. He makes the customer repeat „food is not sex“, even though he still has the gun in his mouth. Alex congratulates him, it’s important to know the difference between food and sex, or else one might end up having a terrible waffle iron accident.
Alex pulls out a few dollar bills for the food and the mess he made, but the waiter is terribly upset, and tells him never to come back again: the client he attacked was a very important man, he designed the pop-up banners for the internet. Hearing this, Alex gets even more annoyed  and attacks the man again.
A little bit later, outside of the restaurant, Alex complains to Mary how terrible that place was and that he is never going to eat there again – after all they had lobster in McNugget form and the customers are flimsy and easily damaged. He notices Mary checking out his behind. Alex orders her to stop doing that, but she ignores him. He asks her if it doesn’t bother her that he thinks that she is nuts, but she replies that she is just glad to have someone who he thinks she is something at all.
 Again Alex receives a phone call, and he answers it with “Agency X, where, for a fee, we can ex your Ex“. Alex stops the joking when he hears that it’s Higashi on the other end. Higashi informs Alex that he regrets that it ‚s come to this, but as they both want Alpine Park, he saw no other option than to recruit an a specialist in incendiary items. They are right now at the center of the park.
Hearing this Alex immediately rushes into action. He jumps over a bench, catches up with a bus and pointing his gun at him, orders the driver to get out of the seat. Mary jumps in after him, right as Alex drives off. One passenger repeatedly pulls the cord, but Alex ignores her, telling her it isn’t her stop yet. The bus pushes all cars in their way to the side, but the woman still pulls the chord. Alex then pulls out his gun and tells her to quit yanking the chord, or else he’ll rip it off, wrap it around her neck and pull it till she comes to her full ad complete stop. Now with that distraction dealt with, Alex notes to himself that those sea monkeys can really come back on a guy.
Sitting in a limousine, Saguri tells Higashi that she doesn’t approve, but Higashi replies that he is perfectly safe – as Alex thins he is at the amusement park, where they in fact are not. Saguri was talking about another matter though, she meant that Higashi’s position is still perilous and he shouldn’t show any sign of weakness. They get out of the car, where they find Wei and other underbosses waiting for them. Wei has shaved off his hair and is sporting tattoo on his bald head, a similar one like Higashi’s. Higashi wants to know the meaning of this, and Wei explains that it is a means to show his loyalty towards Higashi, and that several of the men have done the same. Higashi looks pleased, but Saguri tells him to not look too satisfied. The group makes their way from the parking deck to the door of an apartment – Sandi’s apartment. Higashi rinds the bell, but through the spyhole, Sandi identifies her visitors and refuses to open. She decides to call Alex.
In the bus, Alex tells Mary to answer his phone. Mary takes it and hearing a female voice on the other end, she assumes that it is Alex‘ girlfriend. Though uncertain wether Sandi will actually hear her or not, Mary says that she and Alex are in love and that he doesn’t want to see her again. Mary hangs up, and hands the phone back to Alex, says that somebody just dialed the wrong number.
Having reached the entrance to Alpine Park, Alex stops the bus and tells everybody, including Mary, to get out. He then drives into the park’s center, where a fire is raging. Seeing this, one of the passengers wonders wether they should call the fire Department. Another one says he just did, but that the fire department answered that they already knew about it. He doesn’t think that they are going to come. All of them are unaware of Mary standing among them. Having overheard this conversation, she runs after the bus and Alex.
Alex gets of the bus and enters the centerpiece of the theme park. The carousel is on fire. Alex looks at it at first in disbelief, then he gets mad. However before he can even plan his next actions, he is hit by a sniper. The bullet penetrates his chest and emerges from his back. Lying on the ground, Alex thinks to himself how the Taskmaster was right and that he is an idiot for walking into his own assassination. Alex gets up, but is shot again, from a different angle, so it‘s at least two attackers.
 He takes cover beneath a hot-dog cart. Alex knows that his opponents are playing with him, they could easily finish him off now, and apparently he will die surrounded by rancid grease and congealed cola syrup – a good death. Alex realized that Mary still has his phone, so he can’t even call for back-up. He decides a different approach and calls out to his attackers that he will surrender, however they’ll have to let the corndogs go free, as they have never hurt anybody!
At Sandi’s apartment, Higashi apologizes to Sandi for his rudeness earlier and says he only wants to talk to her. She opens the door and points a gun at him, threatening to kill him if she has. Higashi says he is willing to take this risk and asks to come in. He tells his men to give her the gifts he bought her. The servants bring several boxes and a bouquet of red roses. Higashi says he’ll use every resource within his power to change Sandi‘s opinion on him. She answers that he was going to kill her friends, but Higashi replies that he can’t think about anything but her at this time and asks her for “the very great honor of allowing me to visit you socially“. Confused, Sandi understands that Higashi is asking her on a date.
From a roof on the other side of the street, the taskmaster is observing the events in Sandi’s apartment through a pair of binoculars. He cools his anger on a dovecot, and he notes to himself that he evidently should accept that he is an anger problem.
Saguri and Higashi leave Sandi’s apartment and Saguri questions Higashi’s actions, after all they promised their board the land that Sandi and Agent X own. Higashi doesn’t care, since he thinks that Sandi is worth any loss. Sandi is a real woman, and Saguri can’t understand. Affronted by this snappy remark, Saguri secretly calls the snipers in Alpine Park and informs them that Higashi has failed them. She orders them to kill Alex, dispose of the body and speak to none.
At Alpine Park, one of the snipers replies, but then is hit in the head by a drink dispensing machine, thrown by Alex. With one of his attackers dealt with, Alex’s attention shifts to the other one; he activates the roller-coaster, because the second sniper is positioned on the tracks. While the sniper is momentarily dazzled by the lights being switched on, Alex sneaks up on him from behind and gives him two options : leave and live, or fight meaning he’ll either get killed by Alex or run over by the coaster train. The sniper does the unexpected and chooses loyalty over his own life. He opens fire on Alex, and pumps him full of bullets before he is hit by the coaster and killed on impact.
Alex jumps of the tracks before the car reaches him too, and he climbs down a ladder. On the ground, Mary is already waiting for him. She tells him that she’s worried about him, but Alex can’t reply. He has a bullet in his trachea and is choking on his own blood. Apparently his healing factor can’t deal with it, the injury should be no problem, but he still need oxygen. Alex loses consciousness and collapses, massively bleeding from the throat.
Mary grabs the phone and calls 911, but the operator can’t hear her. She then runs out on the street asking for help, but nobody can see or hear her. Giving in to despair, Mary sinks to the grounds and covers her face in her hands, still asking for anyone to help.


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[Assistant]
Dead Man’s Switch - part 5: A Little Crazy
Mary tells a half-unconscious Alex that she tried to get help, but the phone operator couldn’t hear her and the car she ‘borrowed’ crashed into the bus outside of Alpine Park. She tells him that she’s afraid that he’s going to die before she can tell him that he will be her boyfriend forever, the only man that can see her. Blinded by the lights of an arriving car, Mary accidentally drops Alex. A man gets out and walks up to Alex, not noticing Mary, as usual, and tells Alex that he has an appointment.
The man is Arcade, who has come to consult on the rides in the park. Looking up, Arcade notices that somebody has set fire to the carousel and blames Alex. He throttles Alex, exclaiming that it’s a very rare, antique carousel; a Gervoise, hand-carved from basswood and one of less than a dozen left in the hemisphere. One of Arcade’s assistants walks up to him and tells him that there is a dead man, smelling of kerosene, on the grounds and that he was probably the one that burned the carousel. Arcade understands and releases Alex, deciding to now help him.
Saguri and Higashi are fighting over Higashi’s decision to date Sandi. Saguri thinks he betrays the Lady, the former leader of the Four Winds. She was killed not a year ago, but Higashi thinks that she would understand. Their guards interrupt them and tell Higashi that somebody came to see him. It turns out to be Taskmaster, who offers them both Wade Wilson, the murderer of their lady and Alex Hayden and who annoyed the Four Winds by not selling Alpine Park to them.
In Alpine Park, Arcade performs a tracheotomy, using his knife to make an incision in Alex’s throat and then a pen of one of his henchmen as a breathing tube. Alex regains consciousness and Arcade tells him that he still has a bullet in his throat, but that Alex’s healing factor healed around it. Arcade tells him that he would ask him about brain damage, but that it would be an unnecessary question if Alex would be able to answer it. Sandi tells Arcade that Alex wanted an estimate on fixing Alpine Park. He then searches for a pen and asks his henchman Miguel for one, who also hasn’t another. Alex then pulls the pen out of his throat to give it to Arcade and immediately falls down. Arcade concludes that he jumped the gun on the brain damage question.
In the HQ of the Four Winds, Saguri is venting her anger at being unable to see that Wilson and Hayden where one and the same by cutting up everything around her with her sword. Higashi and Taskmaster are watching her and discussing the matter. Taskmaster wants them to leave Sandi alone, but Higashi tells him that Saguri will want to kill all of them for aiding Deadpool in murdering the Lady. Taskmaster is furious about them breaking the deal, but Higashi tells him that he can’t help. Saguri has the backing of the boards on this. He advises Taskmaster to take Sandi and change her appearance and name.
Back at Alpine Park, Arcade tells Alex that he can help him, but that it will cost a lot of money. Alex, still unable to talk due to the bullet, writes down on a notepad that he will get the money. Arcade offers to buy the park since he is interested in theme parks. He makes a comment that, with a few adjustments, the roller coaster could be a real killer. Alex writes down that he doesn’t want to kill the customers. Arcade is surprised; to each their own, he says. Alex hands him a note with thanks for saving his life and that he should make an appointment with Sandi for a follow-up meeting. Arcade tells him that there isn’t any fun in watching people die unless they are in a giant pinball machine at the time.
Back at the Four Winds, Saguri accuses Higashi for being unable to see that Wilson and Hayden are the same. Saguri tells them that all the guns they could hire are on their way to kill them and that Higashi will pay for his lack of judgement. Higashi asks her what would happen if he ordered her to spare Sandi’s life. Saguri tells him that, because she cares for him and their Lady cared for him, she will advise him for one last time: she tells him not to give that order.
Outside, Taskmaster is offered a ride back home. In the car, Saguri phones one of them and he tells the others in Japanese that Saguri wants Taskmaster’s head. Suddenly, Taskmaster knocks out the guys on his sides and takes their guns and shoots the driver and the other man in front of him. Holding a gun to the remaining mobster’s face, Taskmaster bets he didn’t know he spoke Japanese and then asks him if he wanted to tell him something. He then calls Alex to tell him what he has done and asks Alex to save Sandi. Mary tells Alex that, even if Sandi is Alex’s girlfriend, she hopes that they won’t hurt her.
At her apartment, Sandi is still confused about Higashi’s question to date her, when the phone rings. She answers it and Taskmaster tells her to leave the apartment as quickly as possible. At that point several Four Winds-agents enter through the window. Sandi manages to knock one of them out with the poker and locks herself into the bathroom. The leader of the group tells her to come out and orders one of his men to go outside and watch the window. A woman in the team asks the leader if she can have the knife, apparently she dates the person who was hit by Sandi.
At this moment, Alex silently enters the bathroom and gives Sandi a note to push under the door. The leader reads it and it’s a riddle: “What’s white and goes ‘Snap, Crackle, Pop’?” Another note appears with the answer: “Your collarbone!” The leader doesn’t get it but is immediately hit in the face with the toilet, which is thrown straight through the door. The woman takes out her gun, but is hit with several toilet articles, before Alex picks up the toilet and hits her with it. He then throws it out of the window and hits the man waiting outside.
Alex writes an apology note in which he tells her that he left the guns at the park and he will buy her a new toilet. Sandi is just thankful to be alive and shows him the knife on which a challenge is written: “Alpine Park at dawn”. Alex adjusts a note with acceptance to a toilet-brush and leaves it in a very painful place on one of the agents left in the apartment.
In the car, Sandi tells Alex that it was a gross place to leave a note, but Alex simply shows her a note that they will call Outlaw and Taskmaster and gather at the park. At the park, Outlaw performs a quick surgery on Alex and removes the bullet. She then shows him a note, written by Mary, who tells him that she will try to find a way to help him and not to forget her. Outlaw asks who Mary is. Sandi asks why Taskmaster told the Four Winds that Alex was Wilson. Taskmaster apologizes and Alex shows him several notes with a “You Suck” theme. Taskmaster agrees and tells them that Outlaw can escape but they know for sure that they want the rest of them. Outlaw disagrees and tells them that they could run. Taskmaster replies that the Four Winds will never stop looking for them and that they have to consider Sandi. Sandi replies that they shouldn’t make this decision because of her. Alex finally decides that they stay and fight back. Sandi makes two phone calls and, by dawn, Taskmaster, Outlaw and Alex are all armed to the teeth.
A car arrives and three costumed criminals step out, among them the Eel. Taskmaster complains that he could take these guys out by himself when more cars arrive. Again costumed criminals get out; the Jester and Crossfire. Outlaw is pessimistic and tells them that they will never survive, but Alex, whose throat is healing while he says it, says they just need to get a little crazy.


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[Assistant]
Dead Man’s Switch - part 6: Uninvited Guests
Inside Alpine Park, Outlaw, Alex and Taskmaster are sitting inside a bus. Looking through her binoculars, Ourlaw tells them that she sees about 20 costumed mercenaries and at least twice as many gunmen. Taskmaster is unimpressed and says that he used to take on the Avengers. Alex asks him if he ever won against them, while he starts to take off his pants. Outlaw tells him that it isn’t the place for it, but Alex tells her it’s all part of the plan to keep the enemy occupied and angry. Taskmaster asks Alex if Sandi is safe and Alex replies that she is with his new client. Taskmaster starts the bus, while Outlaw hits a hole in the front window through which she can shoot and Alex bares his behind and presses it against the window. The bus rams at full speed into the army of goons waiting outside.
One of the men phones Saguri and keeps her informed of what’s going on. Outlaw asks if anyone else felt like they hit a bump. Alex orders Taskmaster to turn the bus around and let the goons follow them inside the park. Taskmaster crashes the bus against the gate, while Saguri gets to hear the details of Alex showing his naked behind. The three run into the park and split up. Outlaw kisses Alex and tells him to take care of his gentleman parts. Taskmaster questions the grand scheme of things in which a girl like Outlaw can wind up with a guy like Alex.
Outlaw runs into Crossfire. He calls her Crazy Inez, which always makes her mad and she warns him. In her mind, the park turns into a western town and they are having a high-noon shootout. Both draw at the same time. Outlaw hits Crossfire’s eye but is shot in the stomach. Crossfire tells her that that was a good shot for a woman just before falling down. Outlaw tells him that once she gets her breath back, she will maybe shoot him again just for that.
Alex takes care of Blizzard. He then discovers the goon who is talking to Saguri on the cell phone. The guy asks Saguri for reinforcements and Alex grabs the cell phone and confirms this. Saguri quickly orders her men to find more men and to find Higashi. Suddenly, Alex is strangled by a coil. Taskmaster beats up four men with guns (actually he also shoots one of them). He sees Alex being strangled by Constrictor and is in doubt whether to help him or not. He leaves while Constrictor tells Alex that he doesn’t think Alex is in fact Wade Wilson, because Wade was dangerous.  Alex tries to free himself. Constrictor says that it’s useless since his coils are made of vibranium and are unbreakable. Alex mutters something but Constrictor can’t understand him. He then hits Constrictor in the face and repeats his question:” Is your face made out of vibranium too?”
On top of a roof, Taskmaster meets the daughters of Batroc the Leaper and the Tarantula. He tells them that he knows their fathers but is amazed by the fact that they are heterosexual. Furious, the two girls attack him. Taskmaster jumps over them and their momentum carries them over the edge of the roof. Taskmaster then fires some rounds after them.
One of the gunmen is jumping on an air cushion, telling his fellow gunman that the super-freaks will take care of each other. The air cushion explodes. Alex meets up with Outlaw and tells her that several of the booby traps have been sprung. Outlaw tells him that there are still too many. Alex tells Outlaw that there are not enough and if she has seen Taskmaster, clearly hoping that he has died. Taskmaster disappoints him by coming around the corner. At that moment, Rhino appears, telling them that he wants Wade Wilson. He grabs the three of them and starts to crush them, calling Alex a liar when he tells Rhino that he isn’t Wade Wilson. Alex shoots Rhino in his right eye and the three run off. Rhino quickly recovers, while Outlaw treats Taskmaster’s broken arm. Alex calls for Rhino, who turns to face him. From behind, Outlaw turns Constrictor’s coils into a lasso and throws it around Rhino’s neck. The other end is tied to the bus and Taskmaster drives the bus into the river next to the park with Constrictor and Rhino behind it. Taskmaster, Alex and Outlaw are then approached by the other goons and mercenaries. They surround them and they start to fight them without any weapons.
The next morning, Alex drags Taskmaster into a diner while Outlaw keeps the door open. She tells Alex that Taskmaster needs a hospital but Alex tells her that Saguri is still looking for them. He and Outlaw order something to eat. When the waitress asks if Taskmaster isn’t going to eat Alex replies that Taskmaster’s jaw is dislocated. He tells her to bring him a bowl of pudding and then starts to joke with Outlaw about it until Taskmaster hits him in the face.
When he gets up, Mary Zero arrives and she tells him that it was easy. She hands Alex a map with photos. Alex thanks Mary, while Outlaw asks him to whom he is talking. Mary tells Alex that his plan worked: all guards where out to fight him, so she could just walk right in. Alex tells her that he is going to tie up all loose ends but Outlaw doesn’t want him to go alone. Alex tells him that she and Taskmaster can’t even stand up, so she should call an ambulance in an hour or so when everything is safe and, if possible, she should stick Taskmaster with the bill.
He then arrives at the Higashi building where a meeting is taking place. He points a submachine gun at Higashi and Saguri draws her sword. Alex tells her to put her sword away, if he wanted to kill them, he would already have done so. He then drops the pictures on the table. All the pictures are of family members of the board members sitting at the table. He warns them not to come close to him or his friends or otherwise they will get hurt. Saguri doesn’t want to let him go since she still thinks that Alex is Wade Wilson, the man who murdered her lady. Alex replies that he isn’t but Saguri isn’t listening and draws her sword again. Alex then tells her that he got a new contract last night and that Saguri is the contract. He shoots her and asks the board members if they have an understanding. Higashi accepts the terms.
Outside, Alex asks if it will be cash or charge. Higashi gives him a bundle of money and tells him that Alex was too expensive an enemy and Saguri too expensive an ally. He tells Alex that he would have killed him if Sandi hadn’t convinced him that he really wasn’t Wade. Alex replies that he would have killed Higashi if Sandi hadn’t told him that she trusted Higashi. They enter a room where Sandi was waiting the whole time. She is glad to see him and asks him how Inez and Tony are doing. Alex says that they are hurt but okay. They leave and Sandi tells him that she thinks that Higashi is actually kind of sweet. Alex agrees that Higashi is probably the sweetest psycho crime boss of all and that he knew Alex would kill him next. He then tells her that he really would go for some pudding right now.


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[Assistant]
Shameful William
Across a piece of notebook paper, Alex Hayden has written his thoughts. For the most part, his thoughts are comprised of lists of things her does and does not like. Not in order, the top ten things he likes are… shooting people, hitting people, washing, Mary Zero, Sandi, Outlaw, Alpine Park, Corn Dogs, Yentl and not having a criminal organisation out to kill him. His least-liked list is incomplete but it includes Taskmaster, Jock itch, rudeness, head wounds and shemp. Alex also writes about a “brilliant idea” he had last night, but he doesn’t go into details yet.
(in a mansion)
Alex is welcomed by a secretary/personal assistant and is asked to sign a waiver of all rights. By signing it, he will waive all rights to sue S.W., Inc. for all kinds of sexual diseases he may contact while working for them. The woman explains to Alex that he may not make eye contact, remove footwear or make any physical contact, but she’s distracted by Alex eating something. He tells her it’s “Fruit by the Foot” and offers her some but she declines. The woman opens a door and tells Alex to do nothing to entice her employer, Sir William. Inside, there is a man, bathing in yogurt. William gets out of bath and immediately gets lyrical about Alex’s scars and outfit. Confused, Alex offers him his “Fruit by the Foot” and William accepts, immediately going into frenzy about the taste of it.
William asks another woman, Artemis, for a robe, while the first woman explains to Alex that Sir William is an omni-fetishist: somebody who finds everything exciting. Alex asks if she ever considered that he may just be disgusting.
William returns and begins to praise Alex being a fighter while he tells them they are going to the panties. They stop at a door with a hole blasted in it. Inside, William shows off his complete collection of panties, previously owned by celebrities (including a SM-style leather pair, belonging to UDON-artist Alvin Lee). Alex stands still by a pair apparently belonging to Thor but William is horrified when Alex tries to touch them, since they are worth more untouched. Alex asks if there other people who would buy them then, but William replies that he would never part with them and that it makes them being stolen all the more heinous. He tells Alex that they are being transported, as they speak, while Alex is checking out a pair belonging to Madonna. William grabs the pair, telling that they are quite common and returns them in place.
After being asked by Alex why he didn’t go to the police, William replies that he finds this more erotic. Hayden accepts the mission, stating that it is sort of juvenile and he likes that.  He plays with Mr. Fantastic’s superstretching underwear. William warns Alex that the woman who stole them is very dangerous. She delights in violence and destruction and would rather destroy them than let them have them back. Alex isn’t worried by it though. Now wearing a red, blue and white pair, which obviously belongs to a certain star-spangled Avenger, Alex informs William that being killed just makes him thirsty.
Two hours later, Alex reports to Sandi about William’s weird habits. At the office, Sandi hangs up a sign saying Agency X, while Taskmaster is helping her. She tells them that they suddenly have lots of paying gigs since word of them is spreading. She also tells him that Outlaw wants to talk to him and that his CDs arrived. She then notices that the CDs are of two classical composers: Alexander Schumann and Franz Haydn. She tells Taskmaster what she discovered but he’s too busy bragging about his new Spice girls CD. Sandi tells Taskmaster that Alex said that he had chosen the name Alex Hayden at random. Taskmaster tells her not to worry and admits that he was wrong about Alex faking amnesia. He asks her why she believes in Alex so much and Sandi replies that he’s the first guy that didn’t try to tell her how to live her life. Taskmaster is hurt and, as they leave through a giant clown head and are in Alpine Park, Sandi adds that the work environment is interesting.
Back at the mansion, Alex explains to William that he needs to man the crank when he gets lowered from a helicopter on a train transporting the stolen goods. The woman they saw earlier is the pilot. Alex asks William about his condition and if he really gets excited about anything and tries several objects, animals and persons and William replies to each one how excited he gets by them. He then tells Alex to be careful, since his opponent loves explosives. Alex asks William to lower the ladder he is hanging from, but William is too busy to seduce the spool of the crank. Impatient, Alex decides to make a jump for it, hoping that the roof won’t explode.
Inside the train, an overweight woman, dressed like the White Queen, and two henchmen, one dressed as a police officer and the other a construction worker, hear Alex landing. She orders them to deal with them, while she takes the detonator and starts whispering about how excited the detonator makes her.
Meanwhile, William climbs out of the helicopter onto the train. Alex tells him to hurry and asks him if he’s sure that Lynda Lodestone is behind this. William confirms this, since Lynda is suffering from the same condition as William himself is. Alex grabs William who is about to fall from the train, but William gets hysterical. It turns out that he can’t stand to be touched by people. Alex is very surprised about this and makes a mental note to spend some time with Inez, to prevent from turning into someone like William.
 At this time, three henchmen have climbed the roof of the train and one of them fires an arrow through Alex’s hand, causing him to drop his gun. Lynda then welcomes them. She recognises Alex as the mercenary who caught the monkey. William confirms it, but says that he has improved since then. Alex decides to prove it and attacks the henchmen, quickly taking them out. However, he is stopped by Lynda who threatens to throw Marie Antoinette’s panties from the train. William is outraged that she removed the protective sleeve from the panties, but immediately goes into ecstasy at the thought of protective sleeves.
Lynda lets go of the panties and Alex jumps after them, at the same time questioning his sanity to risk his life to catch some 18th century knickers. He grabs them with one hand and manages to grab the ladder, hanging from the helicopter, with the other, despite having an arrow wound in his hand. Lynda then threatens to detonate the explosive, which is in the case she stole from William. Alex lands on the train again and, while kicking and punching the henchmen, he tells Lynda and William that they are made for each other. He points out the similarities between them and pushes them at each other. They stare in each other’s eyes for a moment before realizing the truth. They hug but accidentally press the button on the detonator. The train explodes and, in the explosion, Alex manages to grab some underwear he recognises as his own. He falls into the water, showered in underwear. He grabs another pair and walks towards William. Alex returns the pair, while William moans about how exquisite the pain is. Alex tells him that he thinks that William’s new lady landed over there. Then pointing in multiple other directions he adds, “there and some pieces over there” Addressing his still horizontal boss, Alex asks when he is going to get paid.
After he’s paid, Alex returns to Alpine Park, where he has gathered his friends (and Taskmaster) and offers them to become a team together. He looks at Taskmaster and says that, while they may have some problems, when they worked together, they kicked ass. He then tells them that they have a load of jobs to do. Taskmaster refuses, telling them that he already has loads of jobs, but Alex says that the point is that they don’t have to be alone. Taskmaster replies that he likes being alone. Maybe he’ll come by from time to time but that’s it. Inez then tells Alex that her father is sick and that she needs to return to Texas for some time. Alex is confused but he says that he can’t go with her. Inez is disappointed but tells Sandi to take care of Alex.  Sandi tries to comfort her but Inez leaves, wishing them all good luck.
Alex asks Sandi what she thinks. She replies that while her life is far more dangerous, she also likes it and that the park may need a makeover, but that she trusts Alex to become something. Mary tells Alex that he can’t get rid of her and Alex concludes that the three of them would make a fine organization. He hands Taskmaster an Agency X business card and thanks him for helping them when they needed him.


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[Assistant]
Hold that Ghost - part 1
As he is want to do of late, Alex has doodled on a yellow pad. On one such page, he lists the ten things that depress him ranging from missing Outlaw to Justin Timberlake. He also describes how he got hired by Christine Gallhager to do a hit-job, but that he forgot to take along his guns and met Dante, her security director...and the wall.
Dante has smashed Alex into the wall and Alex threatens him. Dante lets him go and tells him that he knows about Alex healing power. Alex replies back, beginning to ask if he also knows how he left Dante’s mother tied to the swing-set, but gets punched by Dante before he can finish the sentence. Christine Gallhager enters and introduces herself and Dante to Alex. She scolds Dante for knocking out Alex, but Alex comments about his view (he is lying on the floor and Christine is standing over him.) Christine wants to talk to him, but Alex replies that he still has some unfinished business, after which he chops off Dante’s hand with a sword. While Dante is still shocked, Alex grabs the chopped-off hand and punches Dante in the face with it.
Christine is impressed. She hands him a picture of herself and tells Alex that he will get 2 million dollars to kill the man in the picture. Alex is confused since he only sees Christine in the picture and he knows that she is not a man after his view from the floor. Christine tells him that there is a man in the picture even if Alex cannot see him. Alex concludes that the man is invisible. He accepts the job.
One hour later, Alex is beating up a couple of guys in a Mexican restaurant, who apparently work for the invisible man. He ties one up and starts to hit him with a pool cue. The man replies that he has not seen the man, but Alex retorts that of course he has not seen him, the man is invisible after all.
After hitting the man, Alex is asked by a girl named Maria how he is going to kill an invisible man. Alex replies that he is still working on it. Maria asks again how to kill the invisible man, but Alex replies that he is still trying to figure out how the man he used as a piñata was actually filled with candy corn. Maria replies that it was not candy, but his teeth.
At this moment, Christine phones Alex and asks about his progress. Alex replies that the man is not in his restaurant. Christine tells him that the invisible man eats diner every night at an Italian restaurant.
Alex beats up the waiters at the Italian restaurant and pushes the chef into the oven. He then sees a frying pan floating at him, which hits him right in the face. Alex tries to find the invisible man and tells him that he will not cook the chef if the invisible man lets Alex shoot him. Alex walks outside and tries to figure out if the invisible man went left or right, when the burning chef runs past him, screaming for water. Alex concludes that, if the burning chef runs down the alley without hitting anything, the invisible man went the other way. Some shocked voices are heard from people down the alley who think they just ran over the Human Torch. Alex closes in on the invisible man, but he tells him to drop his gun so that they can talk. The invisible man then hits Alex with 10,000 volts of invisible stun-gun charge. During the electrocution, Alex fires several times in reflex.
The invisible man tells Alex that he is out of bullets now. Alex takes out his sword instead, telling that Dante thought that his sword-skills could use some practice. The invisible man asks why Alex wants to kill him and Alex replies by listing several office supplies. The invisible man is confused and when Alex tells him that he is running a mercenary business, he offers to pay more, but Alex is more interested in revenge after the shock he just got. The invisible man hits Alex again with the stun gun and tells Alex that he is going to kill an innocent man. Alex replies that that never stopped him before, but that he is intrigued since usually he only kills naughty people. When he asks why someone would want him dead, he does not get any answers.
Alex returns to Christine to get some explanation. He asks her if she knew the invisible man was carrying a modified stun gun. Christine replies that the man used to work as a weapon developer for the military. She tells Alex that she is displeased and that she heard that he was better than this. Alex replies that she did not tell him that the man was armed so that they are even. He then asks her why he should kill the man and, after some convincing, she tells him that the man is not innocent and is her father. Alex asks her if she could not kill him herself and demands to hear the full tale. Dante appears, having a hook on his stump now, and tells him to leave. Dante and Alex start to fight again, but Christine breaks it up. She tells Alex that his pay is now doubled as long as the murder is not linked to her. Dante hands Alex the briefcase with half the money and Alex asks him if hooks come in right and left. Dante replies that he does not know. Suddenly, Alex chops off Dante’s other hand, telling him that now is his chance to find out.
Outside, Alex suddenly smells something that is very similar to the stun gun and concludes that the invisible man is following him now. He traps the invisible man in a revolving door, but the people around him thinking that he is crazy and that he is trying to trap another man in the door. A cop walks up and asks him why he is trying to trap that man, but Alex replies that he is trying to trap another man.
The cop jokes about an invisible man but then walks into something. Alex then immediately slices at the air and hits the invisible man. In return, he gets an electric shock. The cop is shocked that there really is a invisible man. Alex follows the invisible man (mostly by sound) into the Galactus Chef Supply store. Alex runs in, tells everybody to leave and locks the door. The invisible man asks for 24 hours to prove that he is a good man and that he is not worth killing. Alex refuses and gets bombarded with bags of flour. He then throws two grenades, hoping that he will hit the invisible man. The grenades explode and the explosion turns over a car parked outside.


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[Assistant]
Hold that Ghost - part 2
Locked inside the Galactus Chef Supply store with his very invisible quarry, Agent X opts to toss a few grenades in order to be sure to get him. As expected, the grenades explode, demolishing most of the building. Alex gets up, noting to himself that it was not a good idea.
The invisible man coughs, obviously hurt. Alex tells the invisible man that he has been hired to kill him and that it would be best for both of them if he would just give up. The invisible man is now covered with food, so he is partly visible. Noting the absence of his hand, he complains that the explosion removed it. Alex does not believe that, but he does note the theme of him removing hands lately. The invisible man starts to beg but, when Alex pokes his allegedly removed hand with a knife, he does feel it and concludes that his hand was probably just numb. Alex takes the now-not-so-invisible man with him.
At offices of Gal-Hag Cosmetics, Dante, now having two hooks instead of hands, makes a mess of his dinner. Christine insults him, telling him that he is as useless as his hooks and that he should be lucky to even be around as a bodyguard.
In a clothing store, Alex kicks out the customers and forces the invisible man to dress in a red dress. The invisible man asks why he bandaged his wounds and dressed him up if he is just supposed to kill him. Alex replies that humiliation is a huge part of his job and that he wants some questions answered first. Alex tells the invisible man that his daughter called him a kidnapper. Alex tries on a pair of boots and likes them but, unfortunately, they only come in purple, not camouflage. Meanwhile, the invisible man tries to get Alex to give him a chance to prove his innocence. As they leave the building, Alex gives him one hour and tells the clerk at the shop that they have 1 week to get those boots in camouflage color or else.
Ten minutes later, Alex calls Christine and tells her that he has her father on a joyride and that he is not dead yet. Christine tells him not to listen to her father and that he is a liar and that Alex is a moron. Alex hangs up and comments to the invisible man that Christine really has a way with people. He replies that she got that from her mother. Alex then tells the invisible man that he is going to kill him, but first he wants to know why he is invisible and why Christine wants him dead. He adds that he also likes to annoy Christine.
In her office, Christine is furious and tells Dante that they have to kill her father themselves and maybe Agent X also. Dante is happy to do so, since he needed a reason to pay Alex back for cutting off his hands.  Sarcastically, Christine asks if he really needs more of a reason than the fact that he cut off his hands?
At the docks, the invisible man tells Alex that this is the place where he can tell his whole story, but he tries to run away when Alex back is turned. Alex grabs him and talks to him, not noticing that the bow the invisible man was forced to wear on his head was knocked off and that he was now talking to the wrong end of the man. On a boat owned by Gal-Hag cosmetics, Alex forces him to put make-up on his face so that he can see him. Meanwhile, the invisible man explains the success of their cosmetics; they literally make wrinkles invisible.
He then starts to explain how he became invisible: he was a chemist working for the government. One day, he discovered a way to turn things invisible and, soon, soldiers entered the building, shooting the scientists and trying to get the formula. The invisible man says that the government could not risk letting the formula fall into the wrong hands. During a struggle, he collapsed with a soldier and was sprinkled with the formula turning himself invisible. When he got home, his wife was killed and his house was set on fire. They had missed his daughter though and, to hide, the invisible man turned Christine also invisible. Christine never forgave him for that and became obsessed with cosmetics. She used the formula to create a cosmetic line that really turned wrinkles and pimples invisible and they became very rich. But, recently, he had not told Christine an important secret: the soldiers were planning to kill them because he was about to sell his formula to the Russians and use the money to run away to Mexico with his mistress. Alex understands now, but he still is not sure about the whole kidnapping thing.
Dante enters with a submachine gun and shoots several rounds. He misses and tries to hit Alex with his hooks. He tells the invisible man to run, but he refuses. Alex dodges and kicks Dante in the face. Dante punches the Alex foot through the floor of the boat, hitting water. Dante is the next to get stuck with his foot through the floor (probably because of his weight). Dante tries to kill Alex with his hooks, but Christine stops the fight to save her yacht and pulls a gun on Alex, Alex in turn pulls a gun himself while Dante grabs his submachine gun. Now everyone, save Christine’s father, has both a gun aimed at them and is aiming one at someone else.
Christine asks why Alex is protecting her father, but Alex replies that he is not protecting him, he just wants some answers and that he is annoyed by Christine’s behavior. Christine tells Dante to kill him, Alex tells Dante that his healing power allows him to survive at least 2 shots and if Dante thinks that he is that much faster than him. Christine replies that Dante is her bodyguard and should be ready to take a bullet for her, but Alex thinks that Christine does not care for Dante and that he would still have his hands if not for her. He then turns the subject towards her father and asks where the kid is that he would have kidnapped. The invisible man thinks that it is a joke, but Christine explains that her father has kidnapped her childhood. Alex is annoyed that it is just a metaphor. Alex asks if he now could get the second part of his payment, since he accidentally blew up the first part. Christine replies that he is not getting paid. She is going to kill her father, while Dante is going to kill him.
Alex asks her why she wants to kill her father when he turned her invisible just to protect her and that he also is the man who made her rich. The invisible man then tries to convince her that he loves her, but she tells him to stay back. Alex starts to notice that the boat is sinking. While Christine and her father continue to argue, Dante also notices that the ship is sinking and tries to warn Christine, only to get insulted by her. Alex then convinces Dante to work together, telling him that he was annoyed by Christine tricking him into working for her by telling him that the invisible man had kidnapped somebody. He asks Dante how much he knows about his boss finances and Dante replies that the 2 million in cash for him are stashed inside a life vest on this yacht. Alex and Dante finally make peace, grab a life vest both and Alex blows up the boat with his last grenade. On shore, Alex and Dante argue about how to split the money. Alex is for 50/50, but Dante finally convinces him to split 60/40 in Dante’s favor since new hands are expensive.


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[Assistant]
If At First You Don’t Succeed.... Die, Die Again !
The first page, instead of the usual synopsis of previous issues, is instead a fax to Beverly Lacoco from Kenny Liebman (aka the Hooded Eye). Kenny tells her that while the Taskmaster is unavailable and he recommends Agency X to do a hit for them. (Apparently the conversation with Taskmaster went through a third party called the Shiv). They need Agency X now to kill an unnamed person who could be a threat to them, especially with the upcoming election. The fax also makes it pretty clear that Kenny and Beverly are in love and that Kenny is soon to undergo a surgical operation, the nature of which is unclear.
Alex returns home to Sandi’s apartment, heavily injured. He is covered in blood, misses a large part of his arm and his back is filled with knives. Instead of Sandi, he notices Taskmaster on the couch, watching TV. Taskmaster asks him what happened to him and Alex replies that he took on a Chupacabra death cult, complete with virgins and monster. He would have been home earlier, but he needed time to re-grow a foot. Taskmaster is sceptical, but Alex shows him the head of the Chupacabra, causing Tony to throw up.
Alex then asks what Tony is doing here. Tony replies that his cable is out and Sandi said that he could watch the wrestling at her place while she was on assignment. Alex is shocked that Taskmaster let Sandi on assignment since she is a secretary, not an assassin. Taskmaster replies that he couldn’t do anything about it and Alex could not be reached (according to Alex himself because the monster swallowed his cell-phone). Taskmaster and Alex then start to fight again, but are interrupted a moment later, when Alex’s cell phone, inside the monster’s head is beeping. The sight of Alex trying to remove a cell-phone from a monster’s head is enough to let Taskmaster vomit again. The call is from Sandi, telling Alex that she has a problem and needs help. Alex tells Taskmaster that they need to help Sandi, but Taskmaster’s leg was broken during the fight. Alex steals Taskmaster’s car-keys and goes off, leaving Taskmaster about to vomit again as he sees Sandi’s cat eating an eyeball of the monster.
Alex runs into Sandi’s motel room, with a gun in each hand, but Sandi is not in danger, she just has a problem. She points out of the window and hands Alex a sniper-rifle, telling him that their target lives across the street. He is name is Frank Bigelow and, apparently, he is a violent ex-felon. They were hired by his ex-wife, Beverly Lacoco, to take him out. Alex is unclear of the problem, but when he looks through the scope, he sees that Frank is sleeping with a teddy bear. Sandi tells him that she couldn’t do it. Alex is confused why Sandi wanted to do this and she tells him that she saw how he looks at Outlaw when she kills somebody. Alex admits that people shooting people turns him on and Sandi is even more depressed. Alex then decides to do it, but he also can’t do it because of the teddy bear. They decide to do it together, Sandi puts her arms around him and together they squeeze the trigger and shoot Frank 3 times. Sandi then asks Alex to have sex with her.
The next morning, Alex wakes up to find Sandi gone to get their payment and his cell-phone beeping. It turns out that Frank is not dead yet and that Beverly has kidnapped Sandi and will kill her if Alex doesn’t kill Frank before midnight. Alex threatens Beverly, but she is not impressed. She lounges in her office, which is filled with costumed humans, presumably all super-villains.
Alex breaks in into Bigelow’s apartment and finds cases gilled with memorabilia and costumes. While he checks out the stuff, Frank enters. Alex shoots Frank several times, but the bullets bounce off him and hit Alex. Frank tells him that he is bullet-proof. A shot-up Agent X replies that he noticed that. Frank’s muscles swell and he tells Alex that he is Fight-Man. Alex tries to behead him, but his sword breaks. Frank tells him that he is an ex-superhero and ties Alex up to the roof and shows him pictures from his career. As a superhero, he protected Delta City and took the equipment of criminals to sell it on E-bay.
When Alex asks him why he stopped being a superhero, Frank replies that he went to prison. He was charged with child endangerment after 14 of his teen sidekicks got killed. He also was charged with destruction of public property and flying while intoxicated. He is on parole now and not allowed to use his powers or go near children. Alex explains his situation to him and Frank tells Alex that he better kill him then. Alex thinks that Frank is joking, but Frank replies that he has nothing to live for and the only reason that he hasn’t committed suicide is that he has a code against killing. Frank does add that he is pretty impossible to kill, but Alex is optimistic.
Attempt 1: Alex drives his car at high speed into Frank, but he is not even bruised.
Attempt 2: Lots of explosives.
Attempt 3: Bath of acids.
Attempt 4: High voltage.
Attempt 5: Alex tries to saw of Frank’s head (a notepad makes it clear that there were more attempts).
Attempt 6: Alex sets Frank on fire. Frank clearly is in pain and runs straight into Alex, igniting the gas-tank of Alex’s flamethrower. The neighbors are awakened by the explosion and tell each other that they hope somebody kills him soon.
They decide to take a break for dinner. Frank tells Alex that ever since he got his superpowers, life has been miserable for him. Alex tells Frank about Sandi. They share a laugh and leave to resume the murder attempts.
Attempt 7: Frank is pushed of a bridge with a metal cable around his neck, but the bridge just collapses.  Alex is wounded in the destruction of the bridge and his lost arm is added to Frank’s collection.
Attempt 8: Alex feeds Frank a lot of poison, but Frank just feels lousy. Alex asks Frank for ideas, but Frank tells him that guys like him always survive, while chocking on a donut. Frank is starting to suffocate and Alex is suddenly confused: some feeling inside him tells him to help Frank and he kicks Frank in the stomach. Frank spits out the piece of food that was blocking his throat, straight into Alex’s face.  Frank asks him why he did that and Alex replies that he got to like him during the day. He decides to figure out something else, but first he goes into the kitchen to wash himself.
He asks Frank if he knows any robots. Frank replies he knows about fifty robots and all of them except one are pure evil and asks Alex why he is asking. At that moment, Alex is dragged out of the kitchen by a robot, biting his knee. Another robot or costumed criminal (named Atomic Lou, apparently from the weapon he is carrying and the label on a similar weapon seen in Fight-Man’s collection) is trying to choke him and is followed by a slime-like monster with big claws.


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[Assistant]
Fight the Power!
The first page gives a short synopsis of the last issue, this time told through the eyes of a cyborg while he is strangling Agent X, while it suddenly detects an approaching source of kinetic activity and heat. It starts to pray that it isn’t Fight-Man. Its prayers aren’t answered.
Fight-Man enters the kitchen and saves Alex by hitting everything in sight with the refrigerator. Fight-Man identifies Alex’s three opponents as Atomic Lou, the Plug-In Maniac and the Massive Globula. Alex tries to strangle the Globula while Fight-Man wants to punch it in the face. Too bad that Fight-Man’s fist goes straight through the Globula’s head with no effect on the Globula. Alex, on the other hand, is hit full in the face by the same punch. The Globula then throws them in the air and the Maniac starts to shoot missiles at them. Fight-Man starts to fight back: he destroys Atomic Lou’s control rod, without which Lou is about to explode. He then punches Lou into the Globula. Both are blown into the sky and explode. The Plug-In Maniac remains and he holds Alex hostage, thinking that he is the newest sidekick to Fight-Man (which would be no. 15 by the way). Alex tells the maniac that he is a bad robot, but Fight-Man’s actions are more efficient: he flies straight through the Maniac, leaving only his head intact.
Fight-Man picks up Alex out of the trashcan he landed into and both start to question the Plug-In Maniac, whose real name is Herschel. The cyborg replies that Sandi is kept in City Hall, but that Bev and Kenny have every operator in town against them. Alex, knowing that Bev is Frank’s ex-wife, asks who Kenny is. The Maniac replies that Kenny was Fight-Man’s first sidekick, who know has it going on with his.... At this point Frank destroys the Maniac’s brain and tells Alex not to believe the robot. He then tells Alex that they need to suit up because it’s going to be a big fight. Alex asks why they are flying away from the house then, since all the equipment is inside. Frank answers: ”Beer run.”
Some time later, Alex is equipped. Frank is disappointed that Alex doesn’t want to wear Fight-Boy’s costume. One of them, Tyrone, was tall enough, when he got his throat slit by Babe Ruthless. Alex replies that tights aren’t his style (and they still have blood on it). Grabbing the remains of the Maniac, Alex formulates a plan where he disguises as the Maniac and takes Fight-Man inside as ‘prisoner’. Fight-Man doesn’t like all the subterfuge, grabs Alex and flies off despite Alex’s claims that he is endangering Sandi. The neighbours see Fight-Man flying away and warn Channel Five. Moments later, all of Delta City is in complete panic, since Fight-Man seems to be back.
Inside City Hall, the mayor is panicking about Fight-Man’s return, but Bev and the Hooded Eye don’t seem to have any problems with it. Sandi tells them that Alex is just enthusiastic about his work, like they are going to find out. Bev tells her that Fight-Man doesn’t have an impressive track record when it comes to saving hostages: 3 saved, 12 killed. Another villain, the Roman Candle, corrects her: 13 killed; the last hostages were twins. The man holding Sandi, named the Shiv, tells him that he had to do it since Fight-Man called him a pansy. The mayor accuses Beverly of starting this disaster. Bev orders one of the henchmen, Mr. Density, to throw him out of the building through the window if he opens his mouth again.
Bev gives a quick motivation speech and most of the villains run out to stop Fight-Man and Agent X. The Shiv calls his wife/girlfriend to tell her that he’ll be home late, while Bev tells her worries to the Hooded Eye: the last time the only thing that stopped Fight-Man was a building dropping on his head. Kenny isn’t worried though and tells her that she will get an early birthday present. Bev asks Kenny and DoctOrangutan, an ape in a white coat, if it’s really true, since she has been waiting for this for so long. The ape confirms this: telling her that they need 5 subjects. The Hooded Eye rounds up five of the villains, while Bev is jumping with joy.
Alex and Fight-Man fly into the city and are under heavy fire, including exploding rubber chicken rockets, while Alex tells Frank that he is an idiot for taking the direct approach. Frank identifies their opponents and Alex tells him that they have to kill many stupid names today. At this point, Frank freaks out: he has a strict no-killing policy. Alex asks if maiming is okay. Fight-Man tells him that he can go for it, since it’s not like they can’t have fun with this.
While they make their way through the city, Alex and Frank keep on bickering. Alex wants to kill someone and Frank keeps forbidding it. The massive army of villains isn’t even slowing them down. Collateral damage is very high though. When they reach City Hall, Bev, Kenny, DoctOrangutan and five villains (including the Roman Candle and Mr. Density) have left the building and are in a van outside. The five villains and Bev all have metal helmets on their heads, which are connected to the machinery. One of the villains asks why Bev is there, since she has no superpowers. Bev replies that obviously he hasn’t seen her work her tongue, but the Hooded Eye asks her to be silent. DoctOrangutan answers the question by telling them that Bev is sort of the control for the experiment.
Outside, Alex has finally found the guy shooting the rubber chicken rockets. Frank remembers him, Slappy or something, and asks Alex to hit him again. Another Fight-Man villain, Metalhead, attacks him cannonball style, but Fight-Man punches him in the sky, telling him not to lead with his chin in the future. Blacklung, the Malady Man, tries to infect Alex with cancer, but Alex chops off his hands. At this points both are stunned by a terrible sound: Ill Billy, the mutant yodelling human beat box. To withstand the sonic attack, Alex asks Frank to rip of his ears and put them in the holes. He then works on Ill Billy with a baseball bat. Frank congratulates him on the maiming.
The two then notice Sandi sitting between a pile of dead villains, while holding a gun. Alex introduces Sandi. It turns out that they tried to kill her, but were stunned by Ill Billy’s sound. She then grabbed one of their guns and killed them all, including the mayor. Alex whispers to her not to talk too loud about killing around Frank. Frank asks if they also hear something funny. Alex, still without ears, replies that he hears everything funny at the moment. Sandi points towards the van and tells them that it might be about to blow. The van explodes and Alex and Sandi are thrown away by the blast.
Bev appears and tells Frank that she got her present from Kenny: super powers. She thanks Kenny and the Doctor and then incinerates them both with flame-breath. She then turns to Frank. Frank is using a car door as protection, while Sandi and Alex use Frank as cover. Alex tells Frank to attack her, but Frank can’t, he also has a code against hitting women. Bev shoots Frank right in the groin and Frank flies away, while burning. Alex shouts at Frank and calls him a coward. Bev is frustrated though: she forgot to add flight as a superpower. So she decides to kill Sandi and Alex instead. Alex and Sandi shoot her several times, but Bev didn’t forget invulnerability. Bev walks up to Alex and both try to hit her with all kinds of objects to no avail. Bev annoyed by Alex’s taunts, burns his stomach. Bev is about to finish them off when Metalhead lands on top of her, making a big hole in the pavement. Both seem to be out of the fight.
Frank lands behind them and tells Alex that he has to arrest them, since they are both assassins and therefore bad guys. He needs to arrest as many bad guys as he can to get a chance with the parole board. Alex can’t believe it, but Fight-Man tells him that he can’t stop him. Alex disagrees and grabs one of his own intestines and throws it in Frank’s face. Sandi then grabs Fight-Man’s half burned pants and rips them off. Embarrassed, Frank runs of to find pants. Sandi then grabs an exploding chicken rocket and fires it at the building behind Frank. Frank wonders who told them the building trick? Fight-Man is furious, but the building lands on top of him. Sandi and Alex walk away, while the firefighters start to work.


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[Assistant]
“Out With A Bang”
Alex is depressed. He wants to quit Agency X. Without Outlaw and Taskmaster, he and Sandi are the only employees and Sandi isn’t ready to do hits on her own yet. His dreams of a high-profile mercenary group have turned to dust.
Sitting in his office, Alex is bored. They have no assignments and Sandi calls that she won’t in today. Alex asks if she’s looking for another job. When Sandi wonders why he asks, Alex suggests that she could pay her bills that way. Sandi tells him not to worry; they still have some money left, right? Alex looks next to him, where he has a pile of lottery tickets lying around. He hangs up just when Sandi wants to tell him that she didn’t pay something. On the television, just as the winning lottery number is to be announced, the electricity goes out. Just after Alex asks himself if it could get any worse, his theme park then blows up.
Dazed and wounded, Alex sees a short, fat man walking towards him. The guy introduces himself as Mr. Murder. Alex thinks that he has been killed by a nerd and loses consciousness. He wakes up in a van to discover that Murder has used a chainsaw to remove his arms and legs. Murder makes a joke, but Alex tells him that he already used that one before. Murder makes another joke, but Alex still isn’t laughing. Murder then explains to him that he is sorry that they couldn’t work together, but there is too much money at stake. Alex is confused. Murder is amazed that Alex doesn’t know, but then thinks that Alex is trying to trick him. Murder tells him that he knows he can’t kill Alex, but this will at least slow him down while he can do whatever he wants to do.
He tries another joke, Alex tells the punchline and says that everybody knows that one. Murder is hurt and says that he could have blown up the theme park when Sandi was there, but he didn’t, because this is professional courtesy. He then throws Alex, minus legs and arms into the river. Alex doesn’t care though: Murder has threatened Sandi and that is signing your own death warrant.
The next morning, a father and his son go fishing. The son catches something: Agent X. His arms and legs still haven’t fully grown back, so Alex has little luck in hitching a ride. A pickup then stops. Alex, without legs, can’t get in the back and asks for help. The driver is more than willing since it will give him some practice. Alex looks at his belt, which says “1991 Dwarf tossing champion.”
At the end of the ride, Alex’s arms have grown back and he kills the driver. He visits Chicky, a guy who runs a crime shop, where you can get whatever you want, including information. Alex asks why somebody tried to take him out. Chicky explains that the guy was probably trying to thin the competition: there is a huge hit going on: the Warren-Stiller thing. The prize at the moment is a million and a half dollars. It turns out that Jeffrey Warren and Emil Stiller have a war with each other and they keep raising the bounty on each other’s heads. Alex replies that he doesn’t do mob work. Chicky laughs: the guys aren’t mob bosses; they are television executives.
Alex decides to get in on it and take his revenge on that little punk Murder as well. He and Chicky get up. Chicky wonders if Alex wasn’t taller than him? Alex replies that he used to have feet. Chicky shows him around the place and gives him some hollow wooden legs. Chicky asks if he also needs some plastic explosive. Alex replies that he still has some, he then wonders who has the highest bid right now. Stiller has offered a million and a half for Warren, while Warren has offered only a million for Stiller. Chicky tells him that he has an anti-aircraft missile for sale. Alex looks at the costumes and buys something else.
Alex, dressed as a clown, enters Jeffrey Warren’s, claiming to be the best. Warren is understandably sceptical. At this point, somebody knocks at the door. Warren’s bodyguards go to look when the door explodes. Murder enters and shoots Warren. He then stays to gloat how cool he is. He sees Alex body and wonders about a clown with a prosthetic leg. We see inside the leg a bomb ticking and Alex thinks to himself that nobody threatens Sandi when the bomb goes off.
When Alex wants to claim the million and a half, Stiller tells him that he isn’t going to pay and tells his bodyguards to shoot Alex while he goes into hiding in the Mediterranean until things have settled after Warren’s death. The two bodyguards escort Alex into the lift but, the moment the door closes, weird sounds are heard. The door opens and an extremely pissed-off Alex steps over the bodies of the bodyguards back into the office. The secretary, afraid, tells him that the door is open. A few seconds later, Stiller flies out of his window on the umpteenth floor.
Alex returns to the remains of Alpine Park and looks at the wreckage. He phones Sandi, but then decides against it and leaves, putting a closed sign on Alpine Park.