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New Blood, New World – part 1
Mr. Sensitive aka Guy Smith considers the mysterious X-Cellent team. Their leader is Axel Cluney aka Zeitgeist: he was head of the ill-fated X-Force team who were mostly wiped out in the Boyz r Us massacre. Zeitgeist himself was thought to have died that day. But recently he turned up again with tales of weird, life-saving operations and plastic surgery that Guy still hasn’t quite gotten his head around.His team, the X-Cellent, consists of UNO (a flying eyeball), Mirror Girl (whose reflections show the viewers their real self), a good-looking guy whose powers and name Guy doesn’t know, and Hurt John (who can see and share others’ pain).Mr. Sensitive leads the latest iteration of X-Statix with his old teammates, Vivisector aka Myles Alfred, Dead Girl and Doop, and newcomers The A (son of the Anarchist) Phatty (daughter of Phat) and Katie Jones (daughter of U-Go-Girl).They are staging an attack on Zeitgeist’s team. Guy shouts, it’s time to give up the ghost, Zeitgeist! Vivisector tells him he needs a rewrite, while the A drags him back, shouting Vivisector was never in front of him when they got in.Phatty gets in Myles’ way and asks the camera team to make her ass look fat.The director cuts the scene. It’s their sixth take reshooting some scenes of their battle against X-Cellent for X-Statix TV. The director criticizes Guy’s ad-libbed line, and Guy weakly explains it was supposed to be a play on “Zeit” and “Geist,” meaning “time” and “ghost” in German. Even Doop groans at this.The director vows this is the last time he works with superheroes. What’s the use of spending money on scriptwriters if they all insist on ad-libbing? He then criticizes The A’s line and behavior. Mike Alicar angrily replies Vivisector wasn’t in front of him - he was hiding his furry ass behind The A!Sounds like someone’s a little insecure, Myles mocks. Mike warns him to watch his mouth and calls him werewolf. Myles lectures him about the folkloristic werewolf who depends on the full moon. He on the other hand is free. He turns to his furry form to make a point.The director orders them to stick to the script or he will be on his next flight to London. He next wants to shoot Katie’s heartwarming moment of joining the team. Katie Jones suggests her decision to join should be a separate episode and not be tacked to the end of X-Statix vs the X-Cellent - part one. It was a tough decision made for a variety of very personal reasons. Money, fame, ego…, Phatty mocks. This way her joining the team has better context, the director explains.Why are they reshooting this anyway? Katie asks. Doop’s movies were good enough in her mother’s day. The director explains Doop’s stuff plays well in France and with the older arthouse crowd but X-Statix TV is aiming for a broader younger market. And the truth is, after being fed a diet of computer games and CGI, unmodified reality doesn’t cut it anymore. He means reality isn’t real enough? The A asks. The director agrees and asks make-up to powders Mike’s face.Guy checks his phone and announces that there is another Zeitgeist notification. The others take out their phones as well to watch Zeitgeist’s livestream. He tells his viewers that this concerns their future… the future repressive forces want to steal from them.The A is impressed. Zeitgeist’s followers have hit the hundred million mark. Has he had a nose job? Vivisector wonders. He kinda looks like her, Katie muses. Seeing this has no point, the director orders a tea break.Uno continues his stream, as Zeitgeist rambles, they are scared of the truth, so they want to curtail the freedom of the internet. It is his goal to keep that from happening… to keep the cyberworld free.Mike and Kattie note Zeitgeist’s follower numbers keep rising.Zeitgeist continues that perhaps the most dangerous of those repressive forces are those heroes-turned-zeroes X-Statix!Guy whimpers that he may be the most sensitive man in the world… but that really hurt!Zeitgeist shows a video of how X-Statix recently attacked one of his establishments. The clearly faked video shows them hitting babies and puppies as Mr. Sensitive vows, Zeitgeist’s dreams of a free internet are history! Vivisector threatens “just like the way you is!”Guy is horrified, while Myles groans that everybody will think he murdered the English language!In the fake video, Zeitgeist plays the voice of reason, suggesting they discuss their differences like decent Americans. Mr. Sensitive replies that his idea of America is different than theirs and kicks him in the face.In reality, Guy protests they fought Zeitgeist to save Katie! This is fake! The director tells him that is now the truth. That’s what really happened. Which is why they have to finish their film and get it out pronto!Guy narrates how, four weeks ago, X-Cellent performed the first of what can only be called “happenings” by gatecrashing the star-studded premiere of the latest Thok Helmson movie.While the others were gorging on canapes, Hurt John analyzed the modern action hero, revealing to Thok Helmson that, under the steroid-enhanced beef, he is still the skinny kid getting bullied in the schoolyard. By the time X-Statix arrive, the X-Cellent were making a messy getaway. No one was hurt besides Thok’s pride and career.More happenings follow. Like the Hero Comic Book Convention, where Mirror Girl shows some fans what they really are.Or the Light Heavyweight Championship of the world, where Zeitgeist knocks out both fighters with a hand tied behind his back. The soccer moms riot. The Frank Sinatra appreciation debacle. The Venice Beach Dada farce. Each event or happening seemingly more meaningless than the last.Doop says they live in a post-meaning age but Mr. Sensitive is trying to find a pattern. This must be about more than Zeitgeist seeing the number of his online followers grow.At their home, the Zeit House, the X-Cellent celebrate another occasion of giving X-Statix a bloody nose, without even leaving the comfort of their armchair. The mood is interrupted when Joe Bomb accidentally causes an explosion. He apologizes, figuring the champagne drove his blood pressure over the edge.Zeitgeist admonishes the team. They need more in their war against X-Statix. What they need is transport.In a lab, several scientists are busy trying to draw the molecules of Venus Dee Milo together. One of them enthuses that this morning they got her entire left earlobe. When Zeitgeist demands when they will be ready, the scientist figures five years. Not nearly good enough, Zeitgeist replies and vomits his acid into his face. He then informs the second engineer he has been promoted. The man warns him this won’t make the matter engine any faster. Zeitgeist warns him not to disappoint him as they leave.Joe Bomb ventures that there are plenty of other teleporters around. Zeitgeist knows. He interviewed some and rejected them all.Nightcrawler didn’t cut it (actually he wasn’t interested in Zeitgeist’s vision). Blink really blew her interview (she told Zeitgeist he gave her the creeps).He announces their next event will be their biggest and most dangerous, and hopes it will not be a disaster without a teleporter. Mirror Girl gushes they will be fine. After all, he has right on his side. He repeats her statement, surprised. She wouldn’t be here otherwise, she insists. All his suffering has made him a good man. He reminds her that he kidnapped U-Go-Girl’s daughter, Katie Jones. For the best of reasons, she replies undeterred and creates one of her mirrors. She urges him to look. Isn’t that the face of an honorable right-thinking man? Yes, very pleasant, he chokes out, while seeing a monstrous version of himself.Meanwhile, in the X-Statix’s mansion, Katie and Myles are brainstorming codenames for Katie. Gone-in-ten-seconds-Girl, he suggests. Katie replies, it will look crap on merchandise. He tuts about millennials and their love for the crassly commercial. And the original X-Statix didn’t care about that stuff? she shoots back.Standing some distance away with Mike and Dead Girl, Guy orders them to pipe down. They are discussing something important here. Where were they? he asks. Mike replies Zeitgeist is amassing a huge following, but why?Dead Girl muses he said he is fighting for the freedom of the internet but the spirits of the dark places tell her his words are like grave mud… Doop agrees. The question is, what do they do about it, Guy wonders.Mike suggests they bust X-Cellent’s headquarters and beat Zeitgeist into revealing the truth. Guy forbids it. Zeitgeist would use this to gain more followers, Mike accuses Guy of being a coward just like Mike’s father. Angrily, Guy grabs him by the shirt. His father was a good friend and one of the bravest men he knew!So brave he kept Mike’s mother a dirty secret, Mike shoots back, as he goes for Guy’s throat. That was for her protection! Guy groans. He only cared about his reputation! Mike snaps. Guy retorts, Mike didn’t know his father like he did. Right, because he was never there! Mike shouts.Suddenly, a wall appears between them separating them.A female head and torso appear on top of the wall and introduces herself in German as Rosa Lemper.Guy complains about his hurt hand and Mike demands if she belongs to Zeitgeist’s people. Rosa asks Doop to tell them. He explains he thought they needed another member. Guy admits they were a little understaffed.Katie suddenly shouts that she’s got it: Gone Gal! Perfection, Myles agrees.An estimated 20 million people tune in for the “live” hologram tour of deceased British rock legend Rick Ragger. Suddenly, it is more like 150 million as X-Cellent appear. The band (which unlike the singer is live) wonder if this is a PR stunt. One of them complains poor Ragger will be turning in his grave. The others school him he doesn’t have a grave. Being a convert to Zoroastrianism, his corpse was eaten by vultures.As the band members flee, Mirror Girl wonders if this is a good idea. Ragger, like many deceased British stars, is very popular in America. Zeitgeist replies this isn’t an attack but an homage. From one star who’s come back from the dead to another. He orders her to get all the A-listers in the front to look into her looking glass. Show them the dirty truth behind their manufactured glitter. X-Cellent are the only celebrities here!X-Statix arrive after they get off the phone with their agents.When the X-Cellent attack, Mr. Sensitive orders Rosa to build the wall.Rosa was born in East Berlin, at the very moment the Wall was torn down. She has since carved a career in Europe building walls.Rosa asks if Guy wants some nice graffiti on it. Her German fans always appreciate that. Guy deems it not necessary. The A snaps maybe Guy and his father hid like children. The A doesn’t duck a fight! Guy tells him he doesn’t have to prove himself by getting killed. The A surprisingly states, Doop recruited that German girl to be killed off. X-Statix’ popularity rests on its high body count; Rosa was brought in so she could be killed off. So he doesn’t believe anything will happen to him.He leaves the protection of the wall and gets ready to attack Zeitgeist. Guy orders Rosa to protect him, but she replies she cannot maintain two walls at the same time.Zeitgeist order Uno to hit The A. Mike dodges and mocks that he missed! However, instead, the blast hit Vivisector, who is hurt so badly. His guts are hanging out, Myles weakly jokes he will make Dead Girl his amanuensis and dictate the first Pulitzer Prize winner from the grave.Angrily, Guy blames Mike and hopes he is satisfied!


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New Blood, New World – part 2
The Zeit House:The X-Cellent’s new teleporter tries to teleport the team home, but it is barely working and Zeitgeist wonders whether that was his worst decision since the one that wiped out most of X-Force in the Boyz R Us massacre. Two days earlier, everything seemed to be going so well…Two days earlier:One of the X-Cellent’s happenings led to a fight with X-Statix. Vivisector was lethally injured. Mr. Sensitive orders Katie Jones to teleport the team back to Bel Air. Zeitgeist tells her he is giving her one more chance to leave those losers and join him.Katie refuses and Zeitgeist’s acidic vomit hits her in the face, burning off half her face. There goes that lucrative skin care deal, the anchorman jokes and asks how she feels about being disfigured. The A swats him aside.While he watches the two teams fight, Zeitgeist is very much aware that his team are the misfits and ugly losers.He discovered Uno at an underground freakshow in Georgia. Half blind, a plaything of the owner’s daughter. He really opened that mutant’s eye.Uno almost shoots off the A’s artificial arm.Until Zeitgeist found Joe Bomb, he’d been using his power to blow up his neighbors’ cats.Jenny Spiegel aka Mirror Girl was a novice nun, until he brought the devil out in her.Mirror Girl shows Katie her disfigured face.Katie grabs Guy and sobs, what is she going to do. Nobody will love her with a face like this. He orders her to teleport them home where Doop will try to save Myles’ life and her looks.Kaite concentrates and sends them home. Guy tells Mike he hopes he is satisfied. Mike snaps back not to lecture him!Zeitgeist orders his team to leave as well. Mirror Girl kneels next to the injured Joe Bomb, fearing he will die if they move him. Zeitgeist doesn’t care and realizes someone has stolen their wings. So, they have to call a taxi.Later, at the Zeithouse, Mirror Girl berates him for not waiting for the paramedics. Stubbornly, he insists super teams don’t call paramedics. The deal with it themselves. Suddenly, he levitates her. In turn, she shows him his true self in the mirror. He drops her. Mirror Girl tries to appeal to the good in him: he is letting this job destroy him! she shouts and runs away. Zeitgeist didn’t even listen.Hurt John tells him she said she loves him and wishes he loved her back. He warns that Joe really is dying. Zeitgeist calls Pood (the creature Doop grew for him) and orders him to keep Joe alive long enough for Uno to upload a nice slow death scene. He’s going to watch TV.X-Statix arrive home. Guy tells Mike, his actions got Myles hurt. He should apologize. Myles carried by Phattie groans this death scene is taking longer than Little Nell’s. Is she one of the Avengers? Phattie asks. Dickens’ The Olde Curiosity Shop, Myles replies and quotes: “one must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell without laughing,” said Oscar Wilde, whom he will soon meet.Via Uno, who has installed cameras at X-Statix HQ, Zeitgeist watches all those proceedings.Mr. Sensitive orders Doop to save the injured Myles. Just like he saved Zeitgeist, Dead Girl adds, to the surprise of Guy. She tells him she thought he knew. How else could Zeitgeist have survived the Boyz R Us massacre?Zeitgeist thinks to himself that she is right. He can still feel his intestines unravelling. Doop had secret instructions in the case of his apparent death. Before he zipped him up in a body bag, he injected him with Doop Ice, which saved and changed many of his brain cells. His funeral was the hottest ticket in town, A-listers, superhero royalty… everyone was there - except for him. He watched the whole thing through a thick haze of pain killers. He heard Captain America’s pitiful eulogy. He saw Edie Sawyer shedding hot tears. He saw that bastard, Guy Smith, moving in on his girl and his team (as Guy gave Edie his condolences).His survival was kept secret to protect him from his enemies. He died and was reborn many times, but through all the years of long painful recontraction one thing remained… a growing hatred of Guy Smith.Guy angrily demands the truth from Doop. Did he save Zeitgeist? Doop replies in his language and Myles translates: Zeitgeist gave him instructions. Can they continue this fascinating conversation after Doop saves his life? he stammers weakly. Close to tears, Guy agrees but expresses his disappointment. He thought he and Doop were friends.Zeitgeist shouts at the TV screen that he was Doop’s first team leader. He discovered him. Of course, his loyalty lay with him. They still are, even though he leads a new team of freaks and losers!Outside his room, Mirror Girl and Hurt John hear how he insults them.Doop treats the heavily injured Vivisector. Katie, whose face is burned off, pleads if he can help her. Doop replies he hopes the suit has done its job. Guy explains he is referring to the full dooplex bodysuit they are all fitted with. He’ll give them some privacy.So far, so good, Doop states as he carefully peels off Katie’s suit. Underneath, she is hale and hearty. They are unaware of Uno floating in the top corner and watching.In the desert, Hurt John and Mirror Girl and another part of Uno are holding a funeral and memorial for Joe Bomb. Mirror Girl is pissed that Zeitgeist doesn’t bother to attend. Hurt John tries to defend him but she fumes he hasn’t got time for her. John points out he saved them. Mirror Girl reveals Zeitgeist likes to look at himself in her mirror when they are making love. When she looks at herself, she sees someone who doesn’t like herself very much. John jokes they are mutants. None of them like themselves. She muses the X-Statix people seem to like themselves. They get invited to the best parties. Nobody invites them!Later, Mirror Girl enters Zeitgeist’s lounge. He points out the sign on the door says ‘private’ and berates her for entering. Mirror Girl snaps if he doesn’t care about Joe, maybe he cares that they lost 200,000 followers after the last mission. Zeitgeist angrily explains the fight was fine - it was their exit! Having to haggle with taxis for over half an hour. Most of his followers don’t have that attention span! He really needs a teleporter. She retorts, he needs a new Mirror Girl! Will she go back to the nunnery? he mocks. She is damaged goods. She reveals she heard what he thinks of them: freaks and losers!He changes his tactic, claiming he was talking about the others, not her, and kisses her. Once she is convinced, he asks if she did the research on Billy McMullen he asked her to do. Unpredictable, erratic, no moral compass, she summarizes. Zeitgeist grins. He isn’t sure if she is talking about him or Billy. Either way, he is sold.In a Texas special correction facility, one prisoner is not only manacled to his chair but also wears a power-dampening helmet. He asks to have it removed. The guard reminds him where he disappeared to when they did that once.That moment, the X-Cellent enter. Uno destroys the wall from the outside and Zeitgeist has an offer for Billy McMullen. He takes off the inhibitor helmet. Mirror Girl kicks the guard who tries to attack Zeitgeist, who asks Mirror Girl to summarize Billy’s life so far. She mentions a string of petty crimes, housebreaking, vandalism, voyeurism…Zeitgeist tuts that Billy has been wasting his powers on childish acts of delinquency. Billy whines he just wants to have fun. Zeitgeist lectures him it is possible to have fun and make the most of his gift. Her orders him to take them to the Zeithouse.Billy doesn’t understand, so Mirror Girl gives him the coordinates of the place in the Mojave Desert. Zeitgeist promises he will be able to do whatever he wants.Billy agrees but, even as he starts teleporting them, he warns that the last time he teleported a cat, its head ended up in Detroit and its body in Maine. The others scream as the jump feels wrong. They arrive only partly, and Zeitgeist realizes this might be his worst decision since the Boyz R Us massacre…


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New Blood, New World – part 3
The Zeithouse:After their new recruit, Billy McMullen aka Whoosh, has teleported them, the X-Cellent have only partially arrived at their home. It takes some horrible time until their bodies are complete again.One day later, Mirror Girl recalls this as she sits in front of one of her mirrors, replaying the scene. She feels like the mirror is asking her who she is: Novice nun Jenny Spiegel… or Mirror Girl?She wonders why she is here. She doesn’t know, but knows she cannot return to her old life. She wonders if whatever is left of her immortal soul will be ruined by staying with X-Cellent.So why doesn’t she leave?She joins Zeitgeist, who is staring at the tube containing the still not-fully reconstituted Venus Dee Milo. She wonders if what Hurt John said is correct, as she tells Zeitgeist they cannot risk using Billy again. It’s too dangerous. Zeitgeist doesn’t care. He has some big plans coming up and Venus isn’t nearly assembled. He supposes she came to leave him again, he adds cruelly. When she hesitates, he interrupts he is glad that is decided. To show her he bears her no ill will, he can spare ten minutes in bed for her that night. But first he has to introduce their new teammates.Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most miserable girl of them all? she wonders.In the lounge she, Zeitgeist, Hurt John and Whoosh are joined by two more people. The small woman with a bob and a stripe going from her face downward through her costume is introduced as Stripe. Zeitgeist found her lurking in the drapers wing of a famous department store. She has power over all things stripy. She reminds him not to forget contrails. Big sky power.The man, handsome in a 70ies way, with an open cleavage down to his navel displaying his chest hair, moves in front of Stripe and introduces himself as Fluff. A lot of people have belly fuzz or lint. Only, Fluff can generate buckets’ full of that stuff at will and vary its chemical composition. The little ladies really go crazy for this.Mirror Girl pretends to throw up. Zeitgeist announces they need more crew because their next happening is their biggest, audacious one yet.He is unaware Dead Gir is watching from a dark corner, and soon she informs X-Statix about what she heard. Is she sure they have a teleporter? Guy Smith asks. She turns to the injured Myles, now in a floating bed/chair and replies it would appear so, though he is as likely to kill them as help them. Mike Alicar interrupts impatiently. What about the audacious happening? Any details? Guy orders him to back off. He is questioning Dead Girl. Mike tells him he is getting sick of his timewasting. X-Cellent have a ‘porter! Seems obvious they need to strike hard.Katie backs him up, which pleases him. Guy furiously snaps back he will not be dictated to by the person whose rash actions cost Myles his life. Myles weakly protests he is not the ghost of Banquo just yet, he is still clinging on to his mortal coil. Dead Girl warns that his spirit is being pulled beyond the veil of life and death.Guy repeats that the situation is Mike’s fault, and Katie protests he is picking on Mike. Maybe he is a little too dark for his liking, Mike accuses him. Guy resents that and points out Mike’s father Tike was a close friend. Just his kind of black man! Mike shouts. A sell-out! Guy protests that is not true and they are going to attack Zeitgeist. But first he needs to enlist an ally to help. Rosa excitedly asks who he is. Guy corrects, he it is not a “he,” but a “they.”On the roof, he soon meets with Girl Joe, a non-binary, respected social and political vlogger and influencer with a large following in the queer / pan, non-normative and cisgender communities. Girl Joe announces amused that for an older guy he is pretty down with the terminology. He tries to be sensitive about these things. He asks them for help, they have to admit, Zeitgeist poses a danger. And since their story about black magic on Wall Stret broke, their opinion carries a lot of weight.Girl Joe has one condition: if they see something they don’t like about the X-Cellent, they will call it out, but they will be equally tough on X-Statix. If they are product placing unsustainable products, Girl Joe will be on their backs. Their business manager will hate it, Guy grins, but it’s a deal! Girl Joe asks if he has any idea what Zeitgeist is planning. Guy doesn’t, but he believes it will be showy.In her mirror, Mirror Girl watches a certain townhouse in Bleeker Street for two hours, until its inhabitant, Dr. Steven Strange, leaves. She informs Zeitgeist, who orders Whoosh to teleport them there. Strange has magical defenses, he warns, so this will probably be a bumpy ride. He reminds Uno to livestream everything.A little later, Billy has them almost completely teleported into the Sanctum Sanctorum. Fluff demands, where are the hot succubi, while Zeitgeist urges Billy to give it another push and they will be fully materialized. He tries but suddenly they find themselves in a dark psychedelic place.Zeitgeist figures it’s the Dark Dimension, home of Dormammu, where time itself doesn’t exist. Just like being back at the department store, Stripe mutters. Zeitgeist orders Whoosh, now he really has to give it his all to get them out, but Billy sulks and refuses. Zeitgeist orders Hurt John to take over.John tells Billy, let’s talk about his mother. Billy gets nervous and refuses. John sees his memories: it’s his birthday, the first sign he is different… wetting his pants at his age? He recalls how his mother called him a freak… the memory still fresh…Mirror Girl asks if that is really necessary. No, but he enjoys watching people suffer, Zeitgeist snarks. Of course, it’s necessary! Unless she wants to spend the rest of eternity dodging Dormammu’s demons!Hurt John confronts Billy with his shame. With a scream of denial, Billy uses his power and actually manages to get them to the Sanctum in one piece. When he is still hysterical, Zeitgeist slaps him and orders him to pull himself together.Stripe asks what they do now. Zeitgeist announces that the place is full of rare magical items and orders Uno to show what they will do. Eyewash! Uno shouts and destroys an artifact with his eyeblasts. Zeitgeist joins him.Watching the livestream and on the phone with Mr. Sensitive, Girl Joe exclaims the XC are trashing Dr. Strange’s crib. “The XC?” Guy asks and is told that all the kids are calling the X-Cellent that. Girl Joe is already composing tonight’s report. This is going to be big. Dr. Strange of all people… he is a good guy. An Avenger… a Defender. He’s a hero!In another dimension, Dr. Strange’s magical senses are screaming, but he is busy battling Morgan le Fay and cannot leave, not even to save his Sanctum Sanctorum!In the Sanctum’s library, Uno suggests they burn the books. Zeitgeist replies that he needs to find the Book of Vishanti, which contains the most powerful magical spells ever known. Then they can burn the books? Uno asks, hopefully.Mirror Girl asks why he is so full of anger. He is an eye, Uno replies. He can never taste fine food or wine or make love to a woman or feel a breeze on his face… because he doesn’t have a face. He’s just a big fat eye. Wouldn’t she feel a tad irritated?Zeitgeist photographs a spell in the Book of Vishanti and warns Whoosh to get ready to teleport them. The book may not take kindly to being photographed. They are teleported away.Later, in an X-shaped pool, X-Statix discuss matters. Looking at his phone, Guy marvels that even after the XC’s act of vandalism their followers have increased by a 100,000. “The XC?” Myles asks and is lectured by Guy it’s what the kids call the X-Cellent. Trashing an occult library got almost two hundred thousand likes? Dead Girl asks. Disgusted, Myles tells her not to underestimate the asininity of the masses.Mike calls that elitist bullshit. The X-Cellent are new. They are modern. Myles calls them damaged second-raters. That’s why people can relate to them, he is told. Rosa asks when Joe das Mädchen is going to help them. They should be uploading any time now, is Guy’s reply.On their vlog, Girl Joe announces that libraries may be kind of old-fashioned, and they don’t read anything that isn’t digital… but these were Dr. Strange’s books, right? They should be worried about this. What do the XC stand for? Or are they beyond meaning? Beyond truth? Beyond morality? The watchers should make up their own mind, but Girl Joe knows which side of the burnt bread they are going to spread their edible fatty substance.What does that even mean? Rosa wonders. It means they are losing followers, Guy replies and, indeed, Zeitgeist’s follower number is going down.He decides that she must be silenced. Mirror Girl corrects him that Girl Joe is a “they.” He snaps at her not to correct him about the correct use of pronouns. Mirror Girl bravely tries to stand up. If they don’t respect someone’s preferences, they are denying their identity. She talks to him about identity? Zeitgeist snaps and calls her a washed-up little novitiate, an infatuated excuse for an individual. Has she taken a good look at herself in the mirror lately? If she had, maybe she wouldn’t crawl sniveling into his bed, every time he snaps his fingers!Fluff gets between them and shouts that’s no way to talk about a babe. She is no babe, Mirror Girl protests. He tells her to stay out of this, he is defending her.In the X-Cellent for five minutes and already making trouble? Zeitgeist asks mildly. Fluff tells him he is so unimpressed with the team and with him. He thought he was joining the new X-Statix! Zeitgeist orders Uno to start streaming: “Zeitgeist destroys Fluff to restore discipline” should prove very popular…Five minutes later, Fluff is still standing and Zeitgeist is exhausted. Fluff informs him that his coat of bio-fluff protects him from Zeitgeist’s whammy, so he is not one of the losers he can easily manipulate.He was liking him right until he called them “losers,” Hurt John mutters. Zeitgeist shouts at Fluff to go; he will deal with him later! Angrily, he stalks off while slapping Uno aside.Mirror Girl gloats silently.Zeitgeist makes a video addressing his followers. There is a social feed journalist who has recently been impugning his good name. He is all in favor of freedom of speech. He begins to stammer, if only someone could ask them to go a little easier on him. He adds, the address can be found on his webpage. He is sure they would be open to persuasion…Said journalist, Girl Joe, is currently on a videocall with Mr. Sensitive. Their article on the Dr. Strange house incident is getting a lot of traction. They’ve got Zeitgeist on the run. Guy warns them to be careful. They are messing with Zeitgeist’s legacy. He will do whatever it takes to hit back. Girl Joe replies they were voted queer of the year. What can he do to them?Suddenly, a stone is thrown through the window. Girl Joe looks outside to see an angry mob of zeitgeisters. Another window shatters and Girl Joe is hit on the head. Guy asks what is going on but he senses she is scared and confused. He is missing pissed off, they reply. He blames himself. He tells them to stay there: X-Statix are coming!He gathers the team, but their teleporter Katie is missing. Guy goes searching for her. On the veranda, Mike and Katie are sharing a tender moment and are not interested in answering his calls.At the Zeithouse, Mirror Girl watches both Zeitgeist and Fluff in her mirrors. She feels drawn to and repulsed by both of them. She sees Girl Joe cowering beneath their desk waiting, for someone to rescue them. She knows how they feel…


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[Assistant]
New Blood, New World – part 4
In the courtyard of a prison, Zeitgeist tells Whoosh this was a good teleporting effort, but he wants him to tell him what is missing. His eardrums? Billy ventures. His arms! Zeitgeist shouts. Billy apologizes and manifests them as well.Zeitgeist orders him to concentrate harder. He wants him to remember this place, Franklin Correctional Penitentiary. Ingest the coordinates. This is the scene of their next happening. Billy stammers he may not be up to this job. Zeitgeist tells him he lacks confidence. That comes from being abandoned by his father when he was a kid. Billy is surprised he knows that. Zeitgeist tells him that he knows all about his X-Cellent. He can be the father Billy never had. Now take them back to the Zeithouse. Nice and gentle…One jump later, they arrive where the rest of the team is waiting. Calling him ‘Zeity’, Mirror Girl runs to his side, worried he is hurt. He tells her off and forbids her from using the nickname in public. Maybe she won’t talk to him at all, she snaps.They all know that isn’t going to happen, Hurt John mocks. Her tragedy is that she both loathes and loves him.Looking at a screen, Zeitgeist orders Stripe to tell him what’s going on. She replies that his online followers are attacking Girl Joe’s office.Hiding from the mob in the office, Girl Joe wonders where X-Statix are. Suddenly, Fluff appears. Calling them “little girl” he asks Girl Joe to rest easy - he is Fluff, their knight in shining armor. They recall he is a new member of X-Cellent… and is calling them “little girl.” He offers them a hand. Annoyed, Girl Joe corrects him they don’t need help and aren’t a little girl! He asks if they are offended by the little or the girl part. Both, they snap.Girl Joe expects him to take them to Zeitgeist, but Fluff explains he wouldn’t dream of it. He and Zeitgeist have their differences. They seemed pretty tight when they raided Dr. Strange’s Sanctum, Girl Joe reminds him. That was before he had the full measure of the man, baby. Before Girl Joe can correct him, he adds he knows they are not a baby. Looking at the armed bullies who are entering this moment, he suggests they shelf the gender talk until after he has saved their pretty little ass.He turns to the two men. His belly lint adopts the composition of a complex cyano acrylate and suddenly the two men find themselves covered in fast setting glue. Fluff orders the mob to leave. The party is over. Girl Joe is impressed but angrily wonders why Mr. Sensitive didn’t show up.Guy is busy looking for Katie in the HQ. He finds her together with Mike Alicar in the lounge and asks why they are hiding here. They protest they want a little privacy. He cuts them off. There is an emergency! Guy adds her mother would never have gone AWOL like this. Then maybe he shouldn’t have killed her! she shouts. To hell with him and to hell with X-Statix! She pushes past them.For someone who calls himself “Mr. Sensitive,” that was totally tactless, Mike informs him. Guy agrees. It’s an emergency? Mike asks and calls Katie to come back. He takes her hands. She swears and wonders if she will be compared to U-Go-Girl all her life. Yes, he replies candidly, just as he will always be compared to the Anarchist. There is only one way to beat it, he tells her seriously. They prove they are every damned bit as good as their parents were.In their office, Girl Joe start another vlog, asking if there is more to Fluff than meets the eye? They had written him off as just another macho bad guy with an old-fashioned haircut and the belief that the entire world is as interested in his chest hair as he is. Girl Joe begins narrating how they had expected X-Statix to help them, but then…That moment, Katie teleports in X-Statix. Girl Joe adds to her vlog that they don’t show up until the party is over. Guy asks what happened. Girl Joe replies Guy asked them to help X-Statix. They didn’t think he’d leave them high and dry. If it wasn’t for Fluff… They’ll be dedicating tonight’s vlog to him. They will also touch upon how some people can’t be trusted, Girl Joe adds sharply. Katie defends Guy and admits it was her fault. If they want a story, how about: “Daughter of Edie Sawyer wishes she’d never been born.” Maybe they will do a cast on their messed-up team some time, Girl Joe replies, but tonight belongs to Fluff.At the Zeithouse, Zeitgeist berates Fluff for crossing his plans with Girl Joe. Fluff retorts that his saving Girl Joe shows the X-Cellent aren’t just bad guys. Maybe they are the bad guys, Zeitgeist shoots back. Maybe that suits his purpose.Fluff accuses him of being jealous that he is getting so many followers. It is hardly his fault that he is sexier than Zeitgeist. Now he has gone too far! Zeitgeist attacks with his acidic vomit, but once again Fluff’s power protects him. He really enjoys their little talks, he grins and leaves.Mirror Girl follows him to his room and kisses him. Fluff immediately gets into it. She thanks him for standing up for her. The dude has some kind of hold over her, he muses. Until he came along, Mirror Girl replies. Fluff promises her things will be different from now on…In the meantime, Guy is talking with Dr. Strange’s astral form, which weirds him out. Can’t they just use cells? Strange explains, the magical auras in the Sanctum Sanctorum play havoc with phone reception, and he has worrying news to relay: the Book of Vishanti is giving off powerful trauma vibrations. It has been violated. He believes, Zeitgeist copied or stole a spell. But what kind and why?Guy asks if there is a spell for world domination. Probably, he is told, but the Book of Vishanti has endless pages. It will take some time for him to find out. He warns Guy to beware - the book contains the most powerful spells known to man. Whatever Zeitgeist’s plan is, he might have found the way to achieve it!Guy finishes the call and summons the others for a team meeting. There is no reaction and he hears some noises from the next room. He walks in to find Katie and Mike kissing. Katie snaps it is creepy for old people to watch young people making out. He tells them this can’t go on. Mike accuses him of racism. This isn’t a race thing, Guy stammers. Inter-team romances are bad for discipline!Kaite holds Mike’s hand as she angrily snaps back, he never had a problem with Myles and Phat. Guy protests that, if he had broken them up, he’d have been called homophobic. And that’s better than being a racist? Mike shoots back. He used emotional blackmail to get her on the team and, when she finds a little happiness, he tries to destroy it for the worst reason! Katie shouts. Shame on him; Mike adds. He isn’t racist! Guy rages impotently.Is he a racist? Guy asks sitting propped against a headstone in a graveyard. Siting on another gravestone is the ghost of Edie Sawyer. Maybe, she replies coyly. “Maybe” doesn’t ’help, he whines. Is that what he wants to talk to her about? Edie asks annoyed. Dead Girl said it was urgent. Dead Girl adds, Edie only has a five minutes’ pass from the world beyond life. Guy tells Edie he doesn’t know what to do, with Katie going AWOL when they needed her. Now this… He is asking her for parenting tips? she asks. The mother who pretended to be her daughter’s sister? He’s desperate. Edie tells him to give the poor girl a break. She’s just a kid!He reminds her she was only a few years older. Yeah, but she was a total freak, she replies. He tries to touch her and reaches through her. He misses her… She warns him to be careful. There is something seriously wrong with Zeitgeist!Somewhere in the Arctic, Zeitgeist tells Whoosh he is really improving as a teleporter. Soon he will be as good as X-Statix’s teleporter. Billy replies that she is the one he wanted, right? Zeitgeist agrees. Katie is an excellent teleporter, but Billy has a criminal background, a shaky grasp of right and wrong, and an easily manipulated psychology, meaning he could be a lot more useful than little miss Katie Sawyer…Katie and Mike are watching Girl Joe’s vlog in which they accuse X-Statix of letting them down, while Fluff saved them from the zeitgeisters. Katie feels guilty and announces she screwed up. She shouldn’t be so hard on herself, comes a new voice.It is Mr. Sensitive. Katie stammers that she and Mike were making out when the team needed them. Guy calmly points out they are new to all this. They can cut themselves some slack. Doop agrees. Why don’t they go out for a while? Catch a movie or go for a walk on a beach? He means the two of them together? they ask skeptically. Sure, why not, Guy shrugs. They get up happily. Guy warns them this is a dangerous life. Getting close to someone can get you hurt.The Zeithouse:Mirror Girl is snuggling in bed with Zeitgeist. She asks why he keeps hurting her. He retorts she hurts herself. All this self-flagellation… just because she adores hm. She hates him! she snaps and turns away. Exactly, he replies, now tell him about Fluff. She refuses weakly. Calling her “darling,” he pleads it would mean so much to him. She spills that Fluff wants to be a superhero. He tried joining some of the regular teams, but his powers were too weird for them. He has the idea of getting rid of Zeitgeist and turning the X-Cellent into a different kind of team. The Avengers meets X-Statix.He gets up after praising her. He will whistle for her if he needs her. She asks weakly, he is not going to hurt Fluff, is he? Hurt him? Zeitgeist grins. What does she take him for?In the lounge, Fluff is smugly watching Girl Joe singing his praises in her vlog. Billy asks what he is doing. Basking in his glory, Fluff replies. He got a problem with that? He is not the one with the problem, Billy replies. He begins teleporting them. Suddenly, they are high up in the sky. Billy mumbles he missed his target.In the Zeithouse, Zeitgeist asks Pood if he can decipher the spells. It will take time, the creature warns. Certain conditions must be met first. Zeitgeist replies that he is working on that. His followers are increasing by the hour and, after the baseball game, they should be through the roof.There is a knock and Billy enters. Calling Billy “son,” Zeitgeist asks if he left Fluff in the middle of the Amazonian Rainforest. Sheepishly, Billy admits, he missed his target, before explaining where he left him… miles up in the sky, falling to his death…


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New Blood, New World – part 5
Flashback:Artemis, a young girl with long, brown hair held back with a giant bow asks her father if this is a game. The man who is holding a gun to his temple is afraid not.She is only five, but she must have noticed how their lives have changed. How they no longer have the nice things they used to have. The girl reminds him he said some nasty men cheated him. Their Ponzi scheme cleared them out, he agrees. He thought coming to America would change their luck, but it was another failure. He wasn’t born to be poor. The Boleyns are distantly related to the Queen’s third cousin. “Toodle pip, sweetheart,” he says with tears in his eyes and fires his weapon.Twenty years later:Artemis, who has taken the name Toodle Pip, is now a celebrity blogger, going where others fear to tread.She stands outside looking at the dead body of Fluff.She writes about his death and the question who killed him, and what the hell is going on with the other superteam.At X-Statix HQ, it looks like Doop is vomiting at the walls. Phatty asks what he is doing. Guy Smith, who is looking at a tablet, explains that Doop is strengthening their anti -teleportation defense. She asks how Katie is supposed to get in. He explains her unique genetic code has been fed into the system, meaning she can come and go as she wishes.He is going to need her soon, Girl Joe’s voice comes from the tablet. The internet is wondering what Zeitgeist is planning next. He assures them Katie will be ready and is grateful Girl Joe has forgiven X-Statix for their slow response to their SOS. Ain’t forgiven nothing, Girl Joe warns him, but X-Statix are their best chance at avenging poor Fluff. To do that, they need to find out what is going on with the Book of Vishanti, Guy replies and wonders when and how Zeitgeist plans to use it.At the Zeithouse, Uno informs the others Pood (their anti-Doop) has created a replica of the Book of Vishanti from a photo. The others wonder how… but more importantly why.Hurt John touches the book... and a moment later is hit by Zeitgeist’s corrosive vomit. Next time it will be his face, Zeitgeist warns. He forbade anyone from approaching the spellbook. He expected better from Uno. He orders them to come next door for the mission brief.He shows them the Franklin Correctional Penitentiary – home of many high-profile antiheroes. Men who have captured a gullible public’s imagination. Which means that any breakout of these lovable rogues will win him many followers.What is it with him and his followers? Hurt John mutters. Male ego, Mirror Girl assumes. Zeitgeist chides them to pay attention. That includes Whoosh. Billy is busy removing chewing gum from the sole of his shoe and complains this is like school. Boring! Dropping Fluff from a great height and watching him splatter like a ripe tomato – now that’s his idea of education!When she hears that, Mirror Girl calls Zeitgeist a lying pig. He promised her he wouldn’t hurt Fluff! He grins it was probably over too quickly to hurt. She calls him evil and stalks out.In her room, Mirror Girl berates herself for this being her fault as she creates a mirror image, who berates her even more. Fluff stood up for her! They had a connection, and how did she repay him? By betraying him to Zeitgeist! Like she betrayed God, when she turned her back on the convent!Suddenly, a young woman looking like Alice in Wonderland stands behind her and states Fluff seemed a decent kind of guy and was clearly a stud… but comparing him to God?Mirror Girl recognizes her as Toodle Pip the celebrity blogger. Toodle Pip demands an exclusive, or she will let her audience know how Mirror Girl betrayed the belly lint guy. How shall she put it? “Brokenhearted Fluff jumps out of plane after lovecheat Mirror Girlrl sells him out.”He didn’t jump! Jenny shouts. He was murdered by Zeitgeist’s little teleporting monster! That’s what she thought, Toodle Pip replies and thanks her.Confused, Mirror Girl asks who she is. She is Toodle Pip, the other woman replies. Jenny clarifies: She has read her blog, but there is no trace of her in there. Who is she really? Toodle Pip stammers it doesn’t matter. The only life she needs are the lives of others. Mirror Girl’s mirror image tattles that she saw what happened to her daddy. She’s scared to live life, in case it hurts her again. Mirror Girl wonders aloud if behind the celebrity chatter Toodle Pip is as miserable as she is. Clearly shaken, Toodle Pip announces the interview is over. She’s got to appear for the next big story. With a toodle pip, she teleports away.X-Statix HQ:Phatty looks at her phone and announces the XC are attacking a prison. They’ve blown a hole through the wall. Rosa Lemper sympathizes with the wall. Mr. Sensitive worries that their teleporter isn’t here. He trusted her.Katie and Mike are currently at the beach and Katie has dropped the bomb that she wants to slow down their relationship. She is saved from an uncomfortable discussion by Guy’s message and she ‘ports herself and The A to the mansion. They don’t notice Toodle Pip some distance away at the beach.Guy quickly tells them what’s going on. Are they ready? He is, The A stresses, but maybe Katie ain’t ready to commit.Toodle Pip secretly observes how the X-Cellent break into a prison housing supervillains and gushes about it on her liveblog. There is only one thing missing, she figures and, as if on cue, X-Statix teleport in.However, several members’ minds are on other things. The A bitches to Gone Girl that there is a word for a girl who sees a lot of guys. Jezebel, Siren… Temptress, Grisette, Vivisector provides helpfully.While Rosa Lemper builds a wall to protect them from the X-Cellent’s attack, Katie complains about the different standards for men and women in sexual matters. Mike stubbornly insists it is different. And why is that? Katie retorts.That moment, Mike is hit by a piece of the wall, due to Zeitgeist’s attack. Immediately, Katie is at his side and asks if he is okay. He tells her he is going to prove she loves him. He jumps over the wall to directly attack Zeitgeist, who is busy counting his number of followers.Guy asks what’s gotten into Mike, and Katie admits this is her fault. He is trying to impress her. Guy orders the rest of them to attack the X-Cellent.Toodle Pip writes in her blog how “dishy” Guy Smith had to get over the death of his love Edie Sawyer and the disappearance of Venus Dee Milo. Can he get himself together in time to defeat Zeitgeist’s team?Zeitgeist orders Whoosh to get ready to teleport them and tells Mirror Girl to turn her mirror toward The A. However, Mirror Girl is busy with her mirror, talking with her own conscience. She wants to help Zeitgeist, but her mirror image urges her to take revenge for Fluff and his treatment of her.Zeitgeist interrupts her and orders her to stop The A from squirting any more acid at him. That moment, an acid drop hits his left eye. Surprisingly, he politely asks Billy to teleport them away.Whoosh literally drops them from a height on the floor of the Zeithouse’s lounge. Hurt John immediately curses him out for possibly breaking his arm. Billy mocks he is the only teleporter they have, so they can’t hurt him.Zeitgeist rages at Mirror Girl and vows she will be sorry. As well as the sight in his left eye, her hesitancy probably cost them followers! She weakly defends herself that she was upset about Fluff. He threatens to give her something to be sorry about and begins breaking her psychic mirror.That moment, Toodle Pip intervenes, unwilling to accept his bullying anymore. She plans to teleport away with Mirror Girl, but Zeitgeist’s mesmerism stops her.A little later in a room, surrounded by machinery, Toodle Pip screams in frustration. Also in the room are Zeitgeist, Whoosh and Pood. She is strapped to a contraption designed by Pood, which stops her from teleporting. Zeitgeist warns he is good at inflicting pain, so she shouldn’t move. He asks if she recognizes the book he is showing her. She recognizes it as a copy of the Book of Vishanti. She blogged about it some time ago in a blog about love charms. Zeitgeist continues that one of its spells is the infamous Rite of Apotheosis, which turns a man into a god with godlike powers, but first one must have 500 million acolytes… or in modern parlance… followers.Toodle Pip asks what that has to do with her. He is impressed by her power. He needs that kind of teleporter. She points out he already has one. In return, he kills Billy with a spray of acid vomit. He believes a position has become vacant…Meanwhile, X-Statix are doing an autograph signing at the X-Statix store, much to The A’s chagrin. They are supposed to be fighting the bad guys! he complains to Mr. Sensitive. Guy explains that their public loves these appearances and the war with the X-Cellent could be decided by which team is more popular.Looking at her phone, Katie announces there is a video of the X-Cellent in the X-Statix mansion! The X-Cellent are thrashing their crib while they are posing for selfies? Mike shouts. Guy states, it is impossible that Bill McMullen would manage to teleport inside their HQ. Naively replying the internet doesn’t lie, Katie shows him the feed, and Guy realizes that whoever Zeitgeist used to get past Doop’s defenses must be one special teleporter.At the X-Statix mansion, Stripe, Hurt John and Uno gleefully cause property damage. Zeitgeist praises Toodle Pip for getting them in there, then rants that the first stage of his grand plan is now complete. He needs only another million acolytes before the Rite of Apotheosis turns him into a living god!She figures he already thought he was some kind of god, Toodle Pip snarks to Mirror Girl, who tells her she should not be here. Zeitgeist is insane! Maybe, she concedes, but it’s time she started making the news instead of just writing about it. Besides, Zeitgeist knows he’d better treat Mirror Girl nicer now or she’s packing her bags and saying these two special words…


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Unsocial Media – part 1
Silicon Valley:Uno secretly watches a scientist and his sponsor arguing over what seems to be a red robot imprisoned behind energy bars. The sponsor demands tangible results.Uno watches and enjoys mindless destruction. It’s the frustration coming with being a sentient eyeball, who will never enjoy good food or sex.The HQ of X-Statix, which the X-Cellent have paid a visit to:Uno mindlessly blasts things. Zeitgeist orders him to stop. Zeitgeist and Toodle Pip sense that someone is about to teleport in.Mid-teleportation jump, X-Statix discuss what they are going to do about the X-Cellent. However, when they arrive in the shambles of their HQ, there is nobody there. They expect a trap, but nothing. The X-Cellent are gone, without having stolen anything.Myles Alfred complains they did make a mess of his signed copy of “Giovanni’s Room.” They didn’t break in just to mess up a landmark in gay literature, Guy Smith points out. Checking her phone, Katie remarks that, whatever they did, it was sure popular. The whole thing won them hundreds more followers. That thing with the followers again! Guy wonders, recalling that all of Zeitgeist’s weird stunts seem to be about gaining followers. Maybe he is insecure, Katie suggests. Or very vain, Guy replies.Uno, hidden, broadcasts their words back to the X-Cellent’s HQ.Zeitgeist is satisfied that nobody discovered he stole the spell for the Rite of Apotheosis from the Book of Vishanti. Mirror Girl and Toodle Pip make fun of him for being vain. Displeased, he orders Mirror Girl to his room. While she cowers, Toodle Pip touches her arm in encouragement and sharply asks Zeitgeist if he has a problem with them having a little fun. Yes, he does, he replies humorlessly, and as she seems to have a rebellious spirit, he will fill her brain with his magnetic essence, until she is a puppet dangling on his…Before he can finish his threat, she teleports the two of them into the Antarctic. Somewhere to where Captain Scott and his men met their end. How long does he think he will survive here? Toodle Pip challenges him. She’d be surprised, he blusters. He is tougher than he looks. What is she trying to prove here? With a smirk, she replies she doesn’t care how evil he is. She is pretty evil herself, but she cannot accept the way he treats Mirror Girl. Leave her alone, or he will be minus a teleporter. Is he happy with that arrangement? Perfectly happy, he replies with a false smile.Later, somewhere in a lab, he screams in rage, as he hits the wall. He hates it! He hates needing someone like he needs that damned teleporter!He turns to the remaining scientist and angrily asks how the progress on reconstituting Venus Dee Milo is coming along. The man stammers the matter engine is making more progress than expected. He expects her to be fully reassembled in six months. Zeitgeist orders him to make it three months. He won’t be able to tolerate Toodle Pip any longer.Uno asks, once the Venus chick is assembled, won’t Zeitgeist be just as dependent on her as he is on Toodle Pip? Zeitgeist explains, he will be able to control her with his animal magnetism. Something their current teleporter is immune to. She will be Venus to his Mars! he rants. She will love him and he will make war, and the mortals will tremble before them!Uno asks what it’s like to have a woman and take her into your arms. Zeitgeist snaps he is not his therapist. He orders him to keep his eye on X-Statix. They are the only ones who can stop him! Uno warns they will notice him eventually and when they do… When they do, Zeitgeist continues, he has to flutter his eyelid and give birth to another of his monstrous children.X-Statix HQ:Guy decides he will get into the Zeithouse to find out if this is really all about Zeitgeist’s narcissism or something more dangerous. Myles admonishes him, it is too dangerous. Guy insists they have to try, but he needs a teleporter. Where is Katie? Rosa loudly opines she is making whoopee with Mike. “If music be the food of love,” Myles quotes Shakespeare. “Play on,” Doop completes the quote.Instead, in the kitchen, Katie and Mike sit, backs turned to each other as they are having a difficult talk. Katie fears they are not right for each other. He can change, Mike promises. Not enough, she fears. They too are being watched and eavesdropped on by Uno. Maybe she shouldn’t have thrown herself at him, Mike remarks. Katie accuses him of twisting the truth again. She can’t handle the truth! he shoots back.The Zeithouse:What’s happening? Zeitgeist asks Uno, who believes it clear they are crazy about each other.X-Statix HQ:Katie accuses Mike of lacking a sense of humor. He retorts that her taste in music sucks. And he hates being spied on! he shouts, as he notices Uno Jr. and fires a blast at him, which also hurts the original in the Zeithouse.Outside, Dead Girl offers to go in Guy’s stead, as she is already dead. She doesn’t need a teleporter either. She will enter the abode of the dead and exit it at the Zeithouse.The moment she is gone, Katie and Mike come running, and Mike berates Guy for having gone too far. Guy has no idea what they are talking about. Mike accuses him of spying on them. Is this how he gets his kicks? A little biracial voyeurism? He shows him the remains of the eye, which Guy has never seen before, but he has a good idea whom it belongs to.At the Zeithouse, Zeitgeist orders Uno to dispatch another eye to X-Statix HQ. Uno pleads that he needs time. He cannot simply spit out little eyes like a slot machine! Zeitgeist urges him on. Some more strange and inexplicable missions and he will have all the followers he needs.He notices Dead Girl spying and grabs her. He uses his power to mesmerize her, figuring she will make a fine hostage.To think she once had a crush on him, he hears a disdainful voice. He looks up to see the ghost of Edie Swayer. She challenges him to look her in the eye. Zeitgeist calmly replies he died like her, but he didn’t go to Heaven.Edie’s distraction allows Dead Girl to teleport away and Edie fades away as well, while Zeitgeist rages, why do women always gang up on him?Toodle Pip asks Mirror Girl which of them should tell him and Mirror Girl laughs.X-Statix HQ:Dead Girl informs Mr. Sensitive and Girl Joe that Zeitgeist seems to be close to reaching his goal, which they still don’t know. She offers to go back. Guy tells her not to. She barely got away. Dead Girl agrees. If it hadn’t been for Edie Sawyer… Girl Joe gushes they’d love to meet Edie Sawyer.They will, when their time has come, Dead Girl promises somberly.Guy announces, he needs to call Dr. Strange. Girl Joe offers their phone, but Guy explains that the magical auras around the Sanctum Sanctorum mess with phones, so he uses the psychic connection Strange created between them to call.How is he getting on with the Book of Vishanti? he asks. Slowly, Strange admits. The work is not without danger. Even to gaze at some of these spells while in the wrong state of mind can have dire consequences. It also gives you god-awful eye strain!In the meantime, Uno is forced to give birth to another of his eye clones, which is then sent to spy on X-Statix. Meanwhile, the X-Cellent take part in a classic bank heist with a twist, as Zeitgeist then gives the stolen money to the crowds below.Elsewhere, Uno cannot get into X-Statix HQ as Doo is fending it off with a gun shooting toilet plungers.Dr. Strange talks with Guy to reveal that two spells have been copied from the Book of Vishanti. One to turn you into a kind of god with the power to rule the world and change the course of history, and another one to help you find your lost dog. He doesn’t think Zeitgeist has a dog, Guy muses somberly.Later, he gathers the team and informs them they have to stop Zeitgeist from gathering enough followers to perform the Rite of Apotheosis. The A immediately suggests an attack. Guy states that this is a war of popularity. He has contacted LA Magazine. Mike and Katie will go on the cover. An article about their modern love affair will be perfect. Katie wants to tell him they split up, which Guy already knows. Mike accuses him of spying. Guy points out he isn’t called Mr. Sensitive for nothing. They will have to pretend to still love each other for the good of the team. Both vehemently refuse but of course…A little later, Zeitgeist holds the magazine in his hands, the cover showing the two very much in love. How can he compare with that? he shouts.More bad news: Hurt John informs him Entertainment News has just announced the death of Myles Alfred. Sales of his novels are going through the roof. They are losing followers to X-Statix. Zeitgeist asks Uno if he has gotten his little eye into X-Statix HQ yet, which he hasn’t. How’s Silicon Valley looking? Zeitgeist asks. Uno tells him they have a prototype up and running. Good, Zeitgeist announces. They can only beat X-Statix by hitting them in the private parts.Very soon, Zeitgeist attacks several guards in a building where a red robot is held behind electric bars. He orders Stripe to free him, then turns to the only non-military personnel, asking who he is.He dreamed up and designed this baby, the man replies. Zeitgeist asks if it works. The man replies it can find its way into any private email account. Listen to the whole world talking. There are no secrets from the Digital Man.Zeitgeist informs him he can now consider himself an honorary member of the X-Cellent.And soon Toodle Pip teleports them all back leaving behind only a little eye…


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We do Science! part one
Flashback, 1945:
The West Atlantic Theater: Schnellboote Squadron T56-60, are escorting the modified Hilfskreuzer, “Anfang”, toward unknown destination. A smaller boat near the large vessel is on fire, and specialist operatives - the Invaders - are in attendance. Soldiers have been taken down, as Union Jack calls out ‘Someone be a brick and see to that 20-millimeter, eh? Seems bloody Jerry ain’t up on his Queensbury rules’. Namor the Sub-Mariner, hovering in the air, explains that he can’t get to the freighter from below, as there is some kind of static field. ‘Hit it from above - take the Torch. Both sides at once’ Captain America suggests, and while Spitfire runs across the water, Bucky asks as to the whereabouts of the Human Torch. High above, the Human Torch - Jim Hammond - is flying through the air, when suddenly, he turns mid-air, and flies straight towards the freighter.
‘Jim? Jim!’ Captain America calls out, but gets no response, so he tells his associates that the Human Torch is down. Just then, the Torch lands against the freighter, and several soldiers jump into the water. ‘There!’ Bucky calls out, pointing to the Torch, who starts to fly away from the freighter, which is now consumed in flames. ‘What happened?’ the Torch asks, confused, as he flies over to the others. ‘You passed out’ Namor informs him. ‘Poppycock. Chap’s a machine, by Jove! Whoever heard of a swooning stenograph, eh?’ Union Jack scoffs.The Human Torch lands on the smaller vessel, announcing that he doesn’t remember anything about it. Looking out at the now sinking freighter, Cap muses ‘Well… whatever it was… I guess we won’.
Present Day:
100 miles off Sao Luis, Brazil, a large rig-like platform juts out of the ocean, a man in a brown suit and wide-brimmed hat stands at a podium before a gathering of reporters and camera crews. The logo “Stratocorp” on a wall behind him, he declares ‘A triumph! A triumph of engineering and willpower - set to usher a new age of human endeavor!’ He tells everyone that they stand this day on an artificial shore to witness history in the making. He adds that they at Stratocorp could not have done this alone. ‘So I’d like to hand over now - to explain a little further - to our newest and finest of allies… the X-Men!’ Standing on the platform are Cyclops, Magneto, Doctor Nemesis and Kavita Rao. ‘Thank you, thank you’ Cyclops smiles as he points into the media gathered before him. ‘Nobody clapped yet’ Doctor Nemesis mutters. Cyclops announces that it is no secret the mutant community has faced its share of troubles in recent times, so they hope this endeavor, and the benefits it brings, will make a first step toward restoring the reputation of the X-Men. ‘That is - the real X-Men - of Utopia’.
At the Jean Grey School in Westchester, New York, Wolverine pulls a can of beer open with one of his adamantium claws, ‘Jackass’ he mutters as he watches Cyclops on a television.
And, on the floating platform station located one hundred feet offshore of the Stratocorp rig, Madison Jeffries and Danger go about their business. ‘Ah, well. Summers is speechifying over on the rig. This could take a while’ Jeffries remarks as he peers through some high-tech binoculars. ‘Irritating. I am primed to begin’ Danger states. ‘Primed. Yeah…’ Jeffries remarks, before Danger informs him that, incidentally, he is producing 80% more perspiration than normal, and his core temperature is unusually high. Danger reports that, based on Jeffries’ age and demeanor, she suspects that he is encountering what other organics call “the menopause”. Jeffries smirks and is lost for words. ‘Uh…’ he begins.  Danger tells him ‘That was a joke, Jeffries. Humor’. ‘Joke. Course it was. Ha. Ha ha ha. Guess I’m kinda…y’know. Nervous’. He adds ‘Big project like this. Not knowing what they’re saying over on the rig. Plus we’re working in… in close proximity to each other over here… yeah. Nervous - you probably wouldn’t understand’.
Back on the Stratocorp rig, Doctor Nemesis has taken the podium, and declares ‘For the last time, it’s perfectly simple’. He states that tensible nanotubes alone never test above sixty-three gigapascales, so by embedding erbium nodules and neodymium alloys in the tether, his design enhances energy potential and electromagnetic bonds, bearing 137GPS and holding the whole ostentatious crapheap together. ‘Half a day’s monkey work and two cups of coffee. Do not make me explain again’. He then asks the media if anyone has an interesting question. Sheepishly, a man at the front of the media gathering raises his hand and asks ‘Where do you get your ideas?’ Doctor Nemesis pauses before he responds with ‘I self-evolved a laterally superior intellect at age sixteen and rigorously conduct a preventative stupidectomy every fortnight’.
Doctor Nemesis continues, announcing that it is a surprisingly painful procedure, and that he is considering imposing it on certain parts of the national press. ‘Play nice, James’ Dr Rao tells him quietly, but Doctor Nemesis just covers the podium microphone with his hand and tells Rao that these cell wastes would not know science-snark if it was imprinted on their ribosomes. ‘They just want tidy sound bites and idiots posing in -’ he begins, as a camera man calls out ‘Photo for the press release, Dr Bradley?’ Rao motions to the camera and tells Doctor Nemesis ‘Huh. Big camera. Might even get his whole ego in frame’. ‘Funny. Don’t you have a petri dish to go poke? Or a cappuccino to make me?’ Doctor Nemesis snaps at Rao, before turning to the camera man, ‘Ask me to smile and I’ll sublimate your kidneys’ he snarls from behind his mask, while the camera man clicks his camera, and Kavita gasps ‘Oh my -he’s started’.
At that moment, Magneto raises his hands overhead, and lifts the smaller platform out of the water. A dome covers most of it, as he raises it into the air with his magnetic powers. Kavita remarks that she hopes Jeffries is okay with heights, before declaring that this is incredible. ‘It’s vaudeville. I was this close to perfecting an entirely capable set of gravitic propulsors to lift the platform, but ohhhh n-’ Doctor Nemesis begins, before the Stratocorp official asks everyone to gather around, as he takes the podium once more. He announces that they will figure it will take their remarkable friend around ten minutes to get the platform to geosynchronous orbit. ‘But there’s no shame naming a baby before it’s born, right? So with all due thanks to the X-Men -’ he begins, as Cyclops adds ‘- of Utopia -’, ‘Of Utopia, right - we at Stratocorp are delighted to finally unveil…the Stringstar!’, and he explains that it is this proud planet’s first viable space elevator, as the elevator towers behind him.
Cyclops returns to the podium, ‘Stellar exploration by private enterprise… ecological overwatch… solar power for needy communities’ he remarks, adding that this is not just a corporate endeavor, but for the good of all mankind. ‘The X-Men -’ Cyclops begins, as Doctor Nemesis calls out ‘- and their science team -’, as Kavita Rao examines her nails and mutters ‘- some parts of it -’, before Cyclops concludes ‘- are proud to be involved’.
Up above, on the platform, Danger and Jeffries go about their business, while some Stratocorp scientists assist them. Danger reports that the platform is ascending at 287 miles per hour, and she is constructing tether-umbilicus at 421 feet per second to ensure smooth ascent. ‘Helluva machine, pal’ a scientist calls out to Jeffries, who replies ‘That she is’. Danger addresses the Stratocorp scientist as the foreman, and tells him that his construction robots are slow and stupid, that they cannot form the tether fast enough if they don’t speed the carbon supply, before announcing that she will interface with the systems to guide them herself. ‘Uh - that’s…just gimme a moment here…’ the foreman replies as he watches Danger. He then turns to a monitor, ‘Sir? This is Braun, on the platform. I gotta request here for -’ he begins, and, at another location, someone sitting in a room observing many monitors depicting different parts of the station quickly replies ‘I heard. Permission is denied’.
Braun turns back to Danger and tells her ‘Sorry - bosses say your request ain’t g-’ Danger replies that she made no request. ‘I informed you of my intention. It is my experience that professional courtesy expedites arrangements with organics. Move. Please’ as she strides past him and pushes him aside so she can access the control panel where he was standing. ‘She…can’t just… hey, Mister - you gottta control your ‘bot, man!’ Braun complains to Madison, who is using his mutant power to move some metal objects around and replies ‘No “mine” about it. Danger’s her own gal. She’ll do what she wants’.
Back down below, refreshments have been brought around, ‘Ah about time. Soy milk, I trust?’ Doctor Nemesis asks. ‘Seagull guano. And those aren’t chocolate sprinkles’ Kavita Rao replies, smirking. Cyclops puts on a fake laugh, and tells his associates that they are still on camera, so they need to behave. He then asks if anyone has any more questions for the science team. ‘What about the Atlanteans?’ someone inquires. They all turn to look at another part of the platform, as one reporter explains that the nomadic clans have been protesting since construction begun - they say it has had a negative effect on local sea life - and their own “spiritual equilibrium”. ‘Any comment?’ he asks, while the Atlantean protesters remain silent. The Stratocorp official takes the podium and announces that they are confident the Atlanteans will come to understand this enterprise benefit’s the planet as a whole, and acknowledges that people’s religious well-being is obviously important to Stratocorp, ‘Pfft’ Doctor Nemesis mutters, as the Stratocorp official categorically denies they have impacted the ecosystem. ‘Naturally, our best people are in dialogue with the protesters to address their concerns’.
Cyclops walks over to Kavita and pulls her aside. Before he can even ask her something, she tells him ‘If you’re about to ask me to go and liaise with some disgruntled mer-people, Mr Summers, I will remind you I’m a highly respected genetic biochemist - not your lackey’. Cyclops tells Kavita that they need a public relations win here, and points out that she was not directly involved in this project, so the Atlanteans will trust her more than the rest of them. Doctor Nemesis overhears the conversation, and calls out ‘The conjunctivitis kid’s got a point, Kavita. Quit sulking and go enlighten some progress-haters, huh?’ He tells her that it is not like she has anything better to do. ‘Hmph’ Kavita mutters as she walks away.
Up above:‘Interfacing with control system in 3, 2...’ Danger states as she plugs herself into the console, and energy starts to flow through her form.
At that moment, Kavita stands on the platform with the Atlantean protesters. ‘…feel the concerns of great Neptune in our hearts. The ocean is out of balance. Something dark has entered the soul of these waters…’ one of them tells her.
Doctor Nemesis continues speaking to the reporters, and boasts that he believes his team represents the greatest collection of scientists on the planet, and that he is proud of them all. ‘Of course, if you even think about telling them I said so, I’ll inflict pole shift on your digestive system’ he warns them.
Back with the protesters, Kavita assures them that she would be more than happy to run some tests on samples, but that unless they can be more specific about this “dark force”, she doesn’t know what they are up against. Suddenly, one of the male Atlanteans collapses, and his form starts to mutate. ‘Husband?’ the female protester cries.
‘My position on the list?’ Doctor Nemesis angrily asks a female reporter, ‘My position is wrapped-around-the-throat of whichever costume cretin came up with a “world’s smartest heroes” ranking in the first place -’, when suddenly, he notices the commotion on the lower deck, as the mutating Atlantean rises. Green energy flows around him, ‘Oh crap’ Kavita utters, before she and the other Atlanteans start to run. Tentacles and other appendages have grown out of the Atlantean. His mouth has increased in size, and jagged teeth spurt from it. A skeleton can be seen in some sort of pod attached to one of the tentacles.
‘Excuse me, gentlemen, there is science to conduct…in the laboratory of violence’ Doctor Nemesis calls out as he pushes past the reporters. ‘And similar quotable sound bites’ he adds, while Cyclops urges the reporters and the Stratocorp official to get inside the facility. ‘Wait! Those’re sterile labs. I ain’t got the authority to let y’all in there. My entry-pass won’t cut it’ the Stratocorp official explains. ‘Let’s try mine’ Cyclops replies, ready to unleash an optic blast on the door. ‘Now hold on just a damn moment!’ the official tells Cyclops, reminding him that he is not in charge here. ‘Those labs are off limits -’ he begins, before he is set upon by the mutated Atlantean, although he manages to escape. ‘Too late. Run’ Cyclops calls out to the reporters and camera crew. ‘Husband! Please, what’s -’ the female Atlantean calls out, as her mutated husband slays one of their fellow Atlanteans. Cyclops fires an optic blast, as the Atlantean looms over him. He then brings a fist, surging with energy, down on Cyclops, who leaps out of the way just in time.
Kavita Rao helps the female Atlantean to safety, while Doctor Nemesis starts firing at the mutated Atlantean, and several tranquilizer darts land in his shoulder. The Atlantean then fires a burst of energy from its mouth, and destroys the tranquilizer gun, before removing the darts from his form. ‘Working hypothesis? Anyone?’ Doctor Nemesis calls out.
Up above, Danger leans against the wall, as Jeffries asks her if she is okay. ‘Something has changed. I am…hungry’ Danger replies. Jeffries puts a hand on her shoulder, but she tells him not to touch her, and reports that she intends to restore her consciousness to Utopia with immediate effect. Madison is confused, and asks her what she means “hungry”. He adds that he is worrying him. ‘Don’t you at least wanna wait ‘til we’re fully -’ he begins, but Danger walks past him, and throws herself off the edge of the space station.
Back down below:‘It’s done’ Magneto announces, before Kavita tells him to get down. They move beside Cyclops, Doctor Nemsis and the Stratocorp official, as Doctor Nemesis reports that he can see the mutagen inside the Atlantean - incremental zeiosis, neoplasmic reactions - the nucleic agitation has gone critical. ‘English?’ Cyclops asks. The Atlantean has mutated even further - spikes and tentacles covering his entire body. ‘Fishman go plotz’ Kavita explains to Cyclops. ‘Fishman go plotz’ Doctor Nemesis agrees, and an instant later, the Atlantean combusts. Body parts are scattered all around. The reporters hold out their microphones for a comment, but no one has anything to say.
Utopia, off the coast of San Francisco, Danger undergoes some processing in the Brig. She finishes, and strides down a corridor, where Warpath sees her, and calls out to her, asking her if she would mind setting up a new sparring programme. ‘I want to practice blunt strikes, and -’ he begins, before Danger’s arm glows red, and she sends him slamming into the wall. Others hear the commotion, ‘What the hell’s -’ Surge begins as she rushes into the corridor to find Emma Frost and Hope Summers tending to Warpath. Danger reports that she is entering the core of the asteroid, and that she is claiming the energy for herself. ‘I suggest you all evacuate. I will murder anyone who attempts to stop me’. Primal has entered the corridor now, as Danger’s form glows, spikes protrude from her form and she declares that everything has changed.
Back on the Stratocorp platform, the official has returned to the podium, as the somewhat nervous reporters gather around, and he tells them that nothing has changed. ’Let’s all just try and be calm, huh?’ he suggests. Kavita, Doctor Nemesis and the Atlantean woman check the remains of the mutated Atlantean, and the Stratocorp official tells the reporters that they should reconvene in a week. ‘A little respect for the dead, etcetera’. He asks them to give him this time to get the elevator up and running, to put on a proper show for them all on take two. ‘In the intervening time we’ll do our darnedest to…to investigate this tragedy…and show that whatever happened here today, it had nothing to do with the actions of Stratocorp’. Cyclops takes the podium, ‘And nothing to do with mutantkind’ he adds. ‘Uh… Cyclops?‘ Kavita calls out, motioning to the water beside the man-made island, where several sea creatures leap from the water, their forms changed. A swordfish fires an energy beam from its eyes. A seagull flies ovheread and a beam of energy is emitted from its mouth. An octopus starts climbing the side of the island, and Kavita adds ‘That’s easier said than proved’.


[User]
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Provide a full summary of the comic book.

[Assistant]
We do Science! part two
Anchor Base of the “Stringstar” space elevator. Project launch is in six hours. ‘There’s some interference, Cyclops. But - yes. I can see you. I take it you’ve arrived back on Utopia?’ Kavita Rao of the X-Club asks via communicator. Cyclops replies that he has just landed, and tells Dr Rao that he hoped Doctor Nemesis would have reported in by now. Kavita explains that Doctor Nemesis is overseeing the clean-up procedures in person. ‘He’s officious like that’ she adds. ‘Ha!’ Doctor Nemesis exclaims as he fires a weapon at a mutated crab. ‘I don’t doubt it’ Cyclops replies, before asking Kavita what the latest news is. Inside a lab on the Stratocorp artificial island that serves as the base of the space elevator, Kaviata reports that it is as much as they feared - a pollutant in the water that is capable of causing profound metamorphosis. ‘Plus his Lordship thinks it has - I quote - “spooky quantum properties”. He’s had Jeffries run a scan… in order to take a better look’.
‘And?’ Cyclops asks. Kavita tells him that it is not good, and reports that it is “Terrigen-242”. A holo-image of the Terrigen-242 appears before her and she explains that it is a chaotically unstable isotope of the Inhumans’ favorite monster-maker. ‘We can expect biological transcendence on an unprecedented scale - often resulting in terminal energy-cascade’ Kavita adds. ‘Meaning?’ Cyclops asks. ‘Meaning disaster, Mr Summers. Mutagenic eco-disaster’ Kavita declares. In the laboratory, captive transformed sea creatures are in various tanks, while part of a creature is on a table for experimentation. Kavita reminds Cyclops that they have already seen reports of victims from both coasts - minor cases, thank goodness, nothing as terminal as the poor Atlantean they encountered earlier today. ‘But Terrigen concentration is rising. Things will worsen. And… you can imagine what people are saying’.
‘They… they think mutants caused this?’ Cyclops asks. ‘I’m afraid so’ Kavita replies. ‘Because we were there at the start… like we’re contagious. $%&#’ Cyclops mutters.  Suddenly: ‘You! Petri-Girl!’ Doctor Nemesis shouts as he enters the lab, a mutated starfish stuck to his head. ‘Ah, Nemesis. I want you to -’ Cyclops calls out via the communication monitor, but Doctor Nemesis ignores Cyclops, he points at his head ‘An echinodermic specimen has chemically bonded to my person. You will remove it before it detonates an irreplaceable human treasure. This is your highest and only priority’ Doctor Nemesis orders. Kavita holds a device to the starfish and tells Doctor Nemesis - calling him by his true name, James, that its cells are stable, and so he should stop panicking. ‘No headsplodo?’ Doctor Nemesis asks. ‘No headsplodo. Just be grateful the power to ruin your hair is the limit of its mutation. Now if we could return to -’ Kavita begins, and as she leans over a control panel, Nemesis states ‘I have often admired your shapely behind’. The starfish is projecting his secret thoughts out for everyone to hear. Kavita stands up and turns to him - so he quickly looks away.
‘Nemesis -’ Kavita begins. Doctor Nemesis points at her and instructs her to bring him a blade and a mirror. ‘Nemesis, please -’ Kavita begins once more, but Nemesis announces that he intends to scalp himself immediately. ‘I’m just being dramatic. I have no intention of doing anything’ the starfish reveals, before pulling his hat down over his head, covering part of the starfish.
Over the communications screen, Cyclops tells Nemesis that they don’t have time for this. ‘We need a cure before things get worse!’ he declares. Kavita reports that she is working on that, assuring Cyclops that they have dozens of specimens, and the Atlantean victim’s wife, Lida, has volunteered for tests. ‘She’s remarkably brave’ Kavita remarks. ‘She smells like caviar. God I hate caviar’ Doctor Nemesis thinks out loud. ‘No no no no’ he mutters, pulling his hat further down over his face.
Cyclops tells the scientists that in the meantime, he wants to know what caused the spillage, to show the world who is responsible. ‘You understand? And make it damn clear it’s not us. Nemesis?’ Doctor Nemesis turns to the monitor and points out that there is an empathic starfish revealing his inner monologue to the unworthy universe. ‘I wish my costume was as cool as yours’ is projected from Doctor Nemesis’ thoughts.  ‘Someone. Is going. To pay’ Doctor Nemesis snarls. ‘Okay, good, let’s -’ Cyclops begins, when suddenly, Emma Frost calls him, so he tells the X-Club that he has got to go, and instructs them to keep him informed. ‘Danger’s reached the core! Scott - we can’t stop her!’ Emma calls out, as on Utopia, Danger is out of control. Storm, Psylocke and Pixie have engaged the robotic member of the X-Club, who is using an assortment of weapons against them.
‘I warned you. You will stay back. You will surrender the energies of this asteroid and you will leave me alone. Otherwise you w… you will all s… sss’ Danger’s voice trails off…
Intersection #2: Mechanoid designate Jocasta:
In a previous time, Captain America, Beast, Iron Man, Hawkeye and Jocasta are in a warehouse. Suddenly, mannequins come to life and attack the Avengers. Jocasta looks at her hand, confused, while the Beast tells his teammates that from the punch the mannequins pack, he would say they’re something more than your everyday dummy. A green glow surrounds Jocasta, and the mannequin that lunges at her from behind dissolves at her feet. Smoke floats up around the confused Jocasta.
Present:
‘O… otherwise… otherwise you will all suffer!’ Danger shouts at the X-Women who are battling her. She slams her hands together, and causes a shockwave, knocking the heroes backwards.
Two hours earlier:
‘Jeffries? We’re in position’ Doctor Nemesis reports to Madison Jeffries. ‘Roger that, Doc’ Jeffries replies from the space elevator “Stringstar” platform station, in geosynchronous orbit. Doctor Nemesis, still with the starfish on his head, is placed into a deep-sea diving suit. ‘Are you certain this is the epicenter?’ Doctor Nemesis enquires, while the empathic starfish projects his thoughts: ‘Because I consider you a burnt-out space-head and have little faith in your crack-head methodology’. Aboard the space station, Madison Jeffries replies ‘Uh… yeah… my scanner says that’s where the isotope concentration’s highest. And what was that second part? It sounded like -’, but Doctor Nemesis’ projected thought says ‘Nonetheless I crave your friendship’. Confused, Madison asks ‘Doc? Did… did you just say -’, to which, as he is lowered into the water, Doctor Nemesis replies ‘No, I did not’. He explains that his subconscious brain is verbalizing as a result of a ridiculous bio-event beyond Madison’s understanding, and he does not want to discuss it.
‘Please comfort me’ is projected through the starfish. ‘That’s… I mean… some people might say that’s kinda a healthy thing to -’ Jeffries begins to reply, but Doctor Nemesis tells him that some people are idiots, and declares that he is busy, so he ends the communication. Jeffries pauses, before remarking ‘Least you know what’s on your mind, Doc’.
Suddenly, ‘Mr Jeffries!’ a voice calls out, and Jeffries looks up to see a Stratocorp officer standing in the doorway. ‘This is a high-clearance zone. How did you even get in here?’ the officer asks. Jeffries apologizes and explains that he had to build some tech for his team, adding that he let himself in. They walk out of the room, with the officer going through the door, explaining that the control-computer is one of the most advanced operating systems ever built. ‘We can’t just have people wandering around up here’ he adds, ‘Sure. Course not. My bad. I kinda… I forget about people-rules sometimes, is all’ Jeffries admits as he uses his mutant power to create a hole in the wall, and pass through it.
The surprised officer looks back as the hole closes back up, and tells Jeffries that he might want to head back down to the surface, as the solar panels are up and the platform is running to specifications. He adds that they have tested the personnel-pod a bunch of times, and it is just one hour straight down. ‘You mean…alone?’ Jeffries asks. ‘Looks kinda lonely, right? Ha - it doesn’t need to be’ the officer explains as he opens the pod and lets Jeffries into it. He tells him that thanks to that firecracker tech-chick of his - ‘Her name’s Danger’ Jeffries interjects - as the officer reveals that they have the whole base rigged with hardlight emitters. ‘Meant to be for, y’know, space training, long-haul R&D, XT simulations, all that’. The surroundings change from the space-station pod, so that Jeffries appears to be in some sort of desert.
‘But, ah…between you and me, the super computer will fix up pretty much any scenario you can think of. Any. Know what I mean’ the Stratocorp officer adds. ‘Uh.’ Jeffries replies, before the officer closes the hatch and tells him to enjoy the ride. ‘Good afternoon, Mr Madison Jeffries’ a computer voice states, before reporting that they are going down, and Madison looks concerned.
Meanwhile, Doctor Nemesis is submerged beneath the water. He reports that the comm-links are online, while the empathic starfish projects his wish that went to the bathroom before getting into this deep sea suit. ‘500 fathoms. Terrigen concentration still rising’ he reports. ‘You know what astronauts can do right inside their spaceships?’ is projected, while Kavita listens in the lab as Doctor Nemesis3 reports that at 700 fathoms there is evidence of contamination all around. ‘An eel with nipples just buzzed me’ he adds, while wondering what eel milk tastes like. At another location, the cowboy-hat wearing Stratocorp official stands in front of numerous monitors watching the goings-on, while an unidentified man sits in a chair nearby. ‘Here it comes…’ the Stratocorp official remarks as Nemesis reports that at 900 fathoms he is still getting weird quantum readings, and evidence of entanglement over huge distances. ‘Also. Hm’ Doctor Nemesis begins, before pausing, while thinking ‘Terror bathroom, terror bathroom’, before stating that he can’t help noticing his right leg is ejecting random photons, his thoracic instruments are undergoing decay and his left arm has become spatially unstable.
‘It’s just possible something strange is happening to the law pf physics down here’ Doctor Nemesis reports over the comm-link, while his empathic starfish projects his inner scream, as his arm seemingly vanishes, and some sort of shadowy figure appears to energy from the deep sea suit. ‘On the plus side, it’s no longer cold on this suit’ Doctor Nemesis adds, while thinking ‘Yay astronauts’. Kavita flicks a switch, and turns to Lida, the Atlantean, who asks ‘Don’t you want to know what happens?’, realizing Kavita has turned off the comm-link. Kavita replies that she can barely hear Nemesis over the specimens, anyway, and adds that he can look after himself. ‘Besides, we… we need to talk’ she tells Lida. ‘It’s bad news, then’ Lida replies. ‘It is’ Kavita confirms, hanging her head.
Kavita stands next to Lida as she reveals that the containment is present throughout her body, that it is more stable than in the first victim - Lida’s late husband - but that it won’t last. Kavita Rao assures Lida that she will devote every moment to finding a cure. ‘And I’m hopeful - I really am - but I must let you know…if I fail…you have a day. Two at the most. I’m so very sorry’. Lida just tells Kavita that it is fine, to which Kavita replies ‘Perhaps you don’t understand? You’ve only just lost your husband. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, but -’, however Lida interrupts, and takes her by the hand, assuring her that it is fine. Kavita looks over at some specimens, floating in a yellow liquid, while Lida reveals that she is a priestess of the blue, and remarks that science could perhaps safeguard her body, or perhaps not, but that benevolent Neptune safeguards her soul, come what may. Kavita realizes that the specimens have gone quiet, and Lida explains that Neptune’s name along is enough to soothe his creatures. ‘You need not worry, Kavita. You need not be sad. Rather, take comfort in your god - whomsoever it may be’. Kavita just looks concerned.
Back in the water ‘Oh God, oh God, oh God’ Doctor Nemesis thinks, while he exclaims ‘Shut up, shut up, shut up’. He tries to calm himself down, stating that something has caused a serious fracture in the fabric of reality, and he is in the process of being torn apart. ‘Please focus’ he tells himself, while his empathic starfish screams for him. As his arms continue to fade in and out, Doctor Nemesis decides that what they have here is a set of overlapping dimensions, each with competing laws of physics. ‘That shouldn’t be possible, unless…huh…unless they’re all in superposition’. ‘I’m going to die’ he thinks to himself, before realizing that it is quantum theory, that all possible outcomes are true, even if they contradict one another, until a single one is measured by an observer. ‘It’s Schrodinger’s cat: alive and dead til the box is opened’. Nemesis thinks to himself that he is going to be a greasy pink smear across eleven fractal planes. ‘Oh God’, before coming up with a hypothesis, that the superposition can be collapsed by deliberately observing the desired outcome. ‘What if the cat opens its own damn box?’ Doctor Nemesis asks.
‘Miaow splat miaow splat miaow splat’ Doctor Nemesis thinks to himself, before telling the universe to pay attention. His body goes through other stages as he moves deeper into the water, and he calls out ‘When I open my eyes I shall ignore all weirdness and observe only standard reality. I shall restore normal physics using stubbornness alone’. ‘Oh please, oh please’ he thinks to himself, and, when he opens his eyes, ‘YES!’ he shouts, while thinking to himself ‘I am awesome’, and then he says that out loud as well.
Back in the “Stringstar” elevator pod, descent is underway. Jeffries looks around, before remarking ‘Uh, computer? That Stratocorp, he…he kind mentioned uh…’ his voice trails off, before the computer replies ‘You would like some company, Madison Jeffries’. Jeffries replies that he would. ‘Yeah, sure, why not? Just, y’know…someone ta talk to -’ but before he can continue, the computer manifests a scantily-clad blonde woman, who asks if this is satisfactory. Jeffries glances away, before turning back and asking if he can make some changes. Suddenly, a voice calls out: ‘Jeff?’ and Jeffries spins around, ‘Abort! End simulation!’ and the blonde woman vanishes, as a projection of Cyclops appears. Cyclops asks Jeffries if he is there, explaining that they have no visual, but that Stratocorp patched him through from Utopia. ‘It’s about Danger’ he adds.
On Utopia, Cyclops reports that Danger has shut herself in some kind of weaponized cocoon, doing her hardest to black out the island. Emma, Psylocke, Storm and Hope watch from nearby, as Cyclops informs Jeffries that Emma figured he might have some luck talking to her. ‘Why - why would Emma think that?’ Jeffries replies. ‘What? I dunno, she…she just did. Will you try or not?’ Cyclops replies. Jeffries turns to a control panel and reports that he can tune into Danger’s OS on a channel, adding that she is probably listening in anyway. ‘Let’s see how good this hard-light tech really is’ he mutters as Cyclops ends the communication.
An instant later: ‘You. You are in my brain. Leave immediately’ Danger declares as she sees Jeffries standing before her. ‘Danger? Damn, you got big’ he remarks, before explaining that he just wants to talk. For some reason, Hellcat and Moondragon can be seen battling the Awesome Android, an old battle from long ago. ‘Aaah!’ Jeffries screams clutching his head, before falling over. ‘What was that?’ he wonders, before Danger explains that it was Intersection #32, the android designated “Awesome Andy” and the riot at the Vault prison, years ago. ‘What’s it got to do with anything?’ Jeffries asks, to which Danger tells him that she doesn’t know, and she doesn’t know why it manifested, nor what it means. ‘I only know that you are neither wanted nor welcome here - and that you will go away’ Danger declares, reaching out to Jeffries, she ends the transmission. Jeffries falls backwards in the elevator. He sits up and hugs his legs, ‘C-computer?’ he calls out. ‘Are we nearly there yet?’
Doctor Nemesis is now 2700 fathoms, and approaches the sea floor. He reports that there is something in the murk. ‘It looks like…it…well…’ his voice trails off as Kavita listens after turning the communicator back on. ‘It’s not pretty’ Doctor Nemesis reports as he floats before the monstrosity before him - a ship, with deformed sea creatures stuck to part of it, and energy pouring from one of them. ‘Swallow swallow deep breath don’t look’ Doctor Nemesis thinks to himself, before moving closer to the ship. He reports that he cannot see what is underneath the biomass, but that he is certain it is the source of the containment, presumably the dimension-bork, too. ‘My guess: whoever was operating these salvage machines got heavy handed and caused the spill. I think I can…I can see some sort of…logo’ Doctor Nemesis announces, as he sees the SC logo for Stratocorp on the ship.
At the unknown location, the Stratocorp official turns to the man sitting nearby, as they watch Nemesis’ discovery on the monitors. ‘I never figured he’d get through…’ the official remarks. ‘And yet he did. You know what to do’ the man in the chair replies with a strange voice. The official contacts the Stratocorp staff on the rig, ‘Seems ya can’t rely on a tragic quantum accident when ya need one, boys. Old fashioned way, please’ he tells them, as one of them picks up an axe and cuts the cables connecting Doctor Nemesis’ deep-sea suit to the life support on the rig. ‘Well now…’ Doctor Nemesis thinks as he starts to float through the dark water, when what he is really thinking is ‘%$&#’.