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[Assistant]
Jungle Boogie
Ever had the urge ta just step out a’ your life… your responsibilities? Just ta go do something dumb, reckless and fun? Of course you have, ‘cause you might end up with a girl like her.
In a hotel room, as Remy’s mystery woman puts her clothes back on after a romantic dalliance, she asks him to keep his eyes on the gear. “You coulda changed in the bathroom,” he replies. She tells him that there’s a big spider in there and she hates big spiders. They pack up, grab a cab and head to the airport en route to Guatemala City. Once on board, Remy heads to the bathroom to check on the strange parasite that has burrowed itself into his torso. He asks the stewardess to ensure that his partner doesn’t poison his drink while he’s away.
Once in Guatemala, they head to a massive sink hole that has appeared in the ground. She informs Remy that rainstorms in the last few years have caused these throughout the city. The government hasn’t had the money or the inclination to do anything about them. A guy ended up in one and found some previously unknown ancient ruins. He traded the information and, in the end, their friend Borya Cich swooped in and acted like a relief effort. But, in reality he was just pillaging anything of value or ‘strange interest.’ The country shut him down, she adds, once they realized what they were losing to that vulture capitalist. Cich’s team smuggled out everything they could in a hurry, including the map, which, luckily for them she snagged from the museum before they realized.
She holds out the map which shows a feature on the map in the shape of a knot. She reckons it points the way to the real jackpot; the temple of their gods, which, like all good ancient pagans, they filled with offerings. Remy asks if she really thinks something out there can get this thing out of him. She says she does. The relic buried in his chest has a twin and the two were made for each other. He’s just a little morsel to keep the girl busy in the meantime. She asks if she’s still talking about the relics…
She tells Remy that if he helps track this place down she promises they will use the other half to set him free. But, that’s all he’s getting out of this. She reckons she let him come along and she certainly doesn’t need him. He reaches out and grabs a young boy who is playing with a paper airplane. He asks her if she’s sure about that. She almost let this kid hit her like a tourist. He asks him, in Spanish, to hand over her phone he’s stolen and tell them where they can get a car and supplies without too many questions.
(soon)
Remy and the woman are in the jungle and the Jeep they hired has conked out. Remy swears he’ll kill the thieving little brat. Maybe it’s an omen, he thinks. He’s been jumping in head first ever since he met the girl and that’s a dangerous place to be. Dressed a little like Lara Croft, she tells him to leave it. They should be close to their destination. Remy reaches out and charges up the map. He tells her that if she doesn’t want her map turning into flash paper, she can inform him what it is she expects to find that’s worth all this trouble.
She grabs her bags and replies that there is something she wishes she could change about her life and she’s tried everything she can and nothing has put things right. But… she has reason to believe that what’s inside the temple might be able to. That’s as much as she is comfortable telling him, so she hopes it’s good enough. If not… well, no one is forcing him to follow her. He asks what happens then when she runs into his little monster’s better half without him and his. She replies that he said himself that the thing is draining him. She could just wait and carve it off his corpse. Remy hopes that she’s kidding.
(later)
The pair of them soon come across an opening and the woman points to a large carved stone buried half in the ground. She thinks that’s it. Remy says he thought they were looking for some giant temple, but she checks the map and replies that their civilization was buried. It’s got to be the same one. Remy flicks a large spider off her shoulder but then turns around to see countless more approaching at speed. He suggests she doesn’t turn around, so of course, she does. “What the hell!” she exclaims. “I warned ya,” quips Remy.
They scamper for the stone and Remy stops when he reaches the top. His friend leaps as he turns and stops. She flips over and shoots some of the spiders but Remy simply charges the stone and leaps off it, warning her to duck. Moments later, the whole thing explodes, taking the spiders with it.
She tells him that was in equal parts horrible and embarrassing. He groans and asks her not to be embarrassed. After everything else, he’s just glad to see she’s not entirely cold-blooded. She goes over to him and is shocked at his appearance. “Oh God!” she gasps. “You look awful.” Remy struggles to get to his feet and reckons that little trick too more out of him than expected. The damn critter is drinking him dry. He hopes it’s simple from there on in. She looks around at a large hole that has appeared and doesn’t think simple is what they’re in for.
They descend into a massive cavern and Remy is relieved to see that she isn’t prepared for what they find. She thinks it’s impossible. The cultures there were still in the Stone Age! So, how are the lights embedded in the wall? Maybe someone beat them there. Maybe this is all new? Remy takes a look and doesn’t believe they look new. She doesn’t like this. The place spreads out into every direction but the parchment doesn’t show any of it. Remy begins to think they might be walking into a trap but, before he can verbalize that, he groans and bends over a little. She asks him what’s wrong. Remy says it’s nothing, and he actually thinks he’s just found the benefit of having this restless little parasite, ‘cause it’s clear to him it’s telling him which direction in which to go.
As they head off, she asks why, back at the party, he chose her. He replies that his usual habit would be to try and charm some good girl, but what brought him there was the powerful feeling that all his choices these days have gone bust so he figured he’d take a chance. He admits that he didn’t know if he could trust her but he sure wanted to find out.
As he speaks, a beam of light comes down from above and scans him. An image of the parasite in his chest appears above him. He tells his friend that he doesn’t know what the hell that was, just before a beam of light does the same to her. He asks her to get ready. “For… for what?” she asks. He asks if she ever fought for her life before. “Once,” she replies, “It didn’t go well.” As large nasty-looking tendrils descend towards them, Remy swings into action and says he doesn’t think this will go much better. He’s running on fumes. As he flips upside down he suddenly gets a little burst of energy and tells her that it seems his damned parasite is giving something back at last. The power he has feels changed but he’ll take it.
As she shoots and slashes at her assailant, she asks if he’s always this lucky. Remy charges up a staff and replies that he just makes it look easy. He hurls the staff hard at their foes and it explodes, providing her with a moment to throw a grappling hook across to the next platform. They grab hold and edge their way across. Remy asks her to be honest. This is the best date of her life, no? As she replies, the rope snaps and she begins to fall. Luckily, Gambit reaches out and grabs her with his right hand, keeping tight hold of the rope with his left. They then swing and Remy asks her to pull up for speed. Their swing gains pace and they manage to just reach the opposite ledge.
As soon as they are safe, he feels the power fade and feels like lunch for a paperweight again. At least they now know that it has self-preservation instincts. She replies that until a few minutes ago she could have said the same about him. She asks why he grabbed for her. She could have pulled him down too. He tells her she would have been killed. “You don’t know that,” she replies. Remy tells her he gets it. She expects something for saving her life. She tells him that he should really stop assuming he knows her. Remy sits up, angry, and says maybe he would if she’d stop playing the femme de mystère! “Listen,” he adds, “I understand havin’ trust issues as good as anyone, but...” Remy suddenly reels backwards and groans, unable to finish his sentence. He realizes that they have arrived at their destination.
They enter a large cave-like structure. It has what appears to be a massive central centerpiece with a smaller one at the base and a glowing structure in the middle. “It’s… it’s incredible,” she gasps. Remy seems equally impressed. He struggles to move as he gets closer to the glow. He wonders if maybe the two pieces have been kept apart for a reason. She bends down and strokes his chin, asking him to shush. She tells him that she understands his fears, but it’s like he said, sometimes you just have to take the chance to find out. As she looks at the glowing twin of what is inside Gambit’s chest, she feels drawn to it.
Y’ever had the urge to just step out a’ your life… your responsibilities, just ta go do something dumb, reckless and fun? Of course you have. But, I’d recommend you try and talk yourself out of it, ‘cause you might end up with a girl like her… a girl you can’t predict for the life a’ you.
The parasite in Remy’s chest leaves and heads towards its twin along a glowing trail of energy. She tells him he doesn’t know how long she’s been searching for this. It has the power to set things right - the power of the gods. Remy watches her walking slowly towards the two twins and reckons he sure knows how to pick ‘em. After all this, it turns out she’s just another screwy chick who’s out to take over the world! She replies that she’s done with the world. This is about taking control of her life. He just had the bad luck to step into the middle of it.
As the two twins merge together, she warns him that he should probably cut out while he can. She’s not really sure how this will go down. As the twins become increasingly brighter, Remy assures her that he isn’t about to leave her, ‘cause he doesn’t think this thing is fixing to deliver the ‘Power of the Gods.’ They look up and see dragon-like creatures circling above them with what appears to be a moon and two planets above them in the sky. “I think its bringin’ the gods themselves.”


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[Assistant]
She’s the End of the World
Gambit looks at his companion and sees that she is confused. “I… I don’t understand,” she sighs, not quite sure what’s going on. Remy has seen the look before on the faces of many people he’s disappointed in the past. He hates to think that another disappointed girl might be the last thing he ever sees, even if she did play him like a washboard. He’s got to admit that this is at least partly his fault.
He tells her that he’s starting to think her damned parchment might have had something lost in translation. She stares at a large glowing white orb and says it promised the power of the gods. Remy grabs her and leads her away from danger. Energy strikes flicker all around them as they run away from a massive hydra-like creature. He asks her to correct him if he’s wrong, but they’re in Guatemala. Didn’t they used to worship something like that?
The giant creature with teeth as long as Remy’s arm circles them, chasing them through the cave. She asks what the hell it is. Remy admits he doesn’t know but he does know that they shouldn’t get acquainted. He shoves her shoves her into a small dark opening nearby and they land uncomfortably as one of the creatures’ heads tries to follow. Luckily it’s too large to follow. As they land, he asks if the portal that the relic opened had closed. She asks what difference it makes. Remy informs him that if the portal shut down after their friend here crashed the party, then he’s their only trouble. If not…
She admits that it was still open. But, he should forget it. They must run. As she speaks, a long, prehensile tongue wraps itself around her and pulls her away from Gambit. He assures her that he’ll take care of it, but she must promise to keep calm and hang on tight. He runs up the tongue quickly and heads for the large mouth. She asks how he plans on getting by this thing. As he stands in between its jaws, he replies that, if he can’t get by it, maybe he can go through it. She wonders if he’s insane, but he feels his power flowing through his hand and leaps inside.
The creature releases the woman and its mouth closes around him with a ‘grrmp.’ It then gasps as Remy’s power begins to charge its insides and, a moment later, the whole head explodes in a massive burst of energy. Gambit lands heavily and admits that it wasn’t his favorite plan, but he can’t leave this running. If putting the little bits of the twin parasites together opens up a portal, what does she say they…
He turns to see that she’s been captured by another creature. She screams as she is whisked upwards and away from him and through the portal. Remy starts to think that either the damn thing is cursed, or he is. He pops his head into the portal and sees what’s on the other side. He sees the creature moving away from him into a world where the sky is pink and the air feels like fire. He reckons there’s no way somebody lasts more than a few minutes out there, so he tears a strip of what’s left of his shirt and wraps it around his mouth.
He wonders if the girl is worth it. She’s done nothing but manipulate him and keep secrets from him… all on some sort of power trip. Does she really think he’s gonna risk his own neck when she’s got exactly what’s coming to her? He prepares to enter the portal, guessing that he’s just a thousand times a sucker for a pretty face. He leaps into the beyond in pursuit of the creature, soon catching up with it. He already feels sick and disoriented, but it’s too late to turn back. And besides, he may as well die as he lived.
He uses his agility to evade the creature’s long whipping tongue, finding himself trying to impress a girl who doesn’t seem to care. One of the creature’s heads looks right at him and he sees her in the distance, hanging from the mouth of another of its heads. “Gambit,” he can just hear her cry. As he approaches her, he asks her to get herself loose. She wonders what the hell he’s doing, but he’s on her in an instant. He grabs her, ripping her out of the giant’s teeth and he tries to ask how she is. “I’ll live,” she replies. Struggling to speak due to breathing in the acrid air, Remy replies, “Not if they c-cgh got somethin’ to say about it!”
They head off running once again but, before long, Remy begins to really struggle. She helps him along, prompting him to stay with her. She’d rather not have the X-Men blame her for getting him killed. They come to a stop at the other side of the portal and Remy lies down. She asks him to breathe. They made it. Remy isn’t so sure, and she admits that there are still a few giant alien gods coming to tear him apart. Remy makes an effort to stand and says they should do something about that. “Great,” she replies, “But do something faster.”
Remy removes a card from his boot and reckons he should go with the classics. Charging it up, he sees one of the creature’s heads peering through the portal into their dimension. As she asks if this is his plan, he tosses the card at the creature and sticks it in the twin parasites. The creature begins to come through the portal so Remy and his companion leap from their position and don’t look back as the parasites explodes, taking the monster’s head with it. They get clear of the creature’s teeth as the portal closes and finally… they can relax.
She thanks Remy for coming to her rescue. Remy likes the sound of that. She leans in to his ear and whisper, “Now… don’t do it again.” He tells her that she needs to stop giving off such mixed signals. She tells him that she appreciates his chivalry, but the last thing she wants is someone getting hurt because of him. She’d have been fine. Remy replies that she’s not kidding, either. He was choking out there in seconds but it didn’t throw her one bit. He knows that she isn’t a regular girl, but just what hasn’t she told him? He’s serious, he adds. Who is she? What is she? What was she hoping for in all this? After the hell she brought him he reckons she owes him some answers. “Fine,” she replies. She gets one. He wants some deep, dark secret? She’ll give him one.
Remy asks her what her name is and she tells him that it’s Joelle. Remy guesses he’ll have to save her again to get a last name. She says no, and then kisses him passionately. She then tells him that next time he should let her die. She then turns and punches his lights out.
(New York City)
Before he knows it, Remy is back home, sans Joelle. He’s had the chance to break his routine but he’s still got that gnawing inside. He was less afraid of dying in some alien world than going back to his own life. He catches himself almost hoping for something terrible. As he walks through the airport, he notices a chauffeur holding a sign with his name on it. He knows that he should be wary, but he’s too dame tired to pass up a ride. As the chauffeur takes his bag, Remy tells the guy he can take that himself but the chauffeur insists. Remy then enters a sleek black limousine and sits in the back seat, only to find himself seated opposite Borya Cich and two bodyguards. They and the chauffeur each aim large futuristic-looking weapons at him. Remy thanks Cich for the ride. Cich informs him that his glibness won’t help him. Remy stole from him and cost him a great deal in the process and they’re going to settle his debt… right now.


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[Assistant]
Under-dressed and under duress
Gambit finds himself in a private plane with Borya Cich and several of his armed henchmen. He has been given a job to do and Remy asks if they can call it even after he’s completed it. Cich informs him that he’ll have his eyes and ears on him. If he tries to run any plan apart from his, he will be finished. Remy thinks to himself that he’s fortunate to have been in situations like this plenty of times before.
Once he is in the Swiss Alps, Remy is given a powerful motorbike and set on his way. As he races along the mountain pass, Cich feeds him only small bits of information at a time. It makes it damn near impossible for Gambit to get a step ahead of him. Cich contacts him
via an earpiece and informs him that his target is approaching. Remy knows that he’s got no choice but to play along until he finds a window of opportunity. Remlik watches from higher up the mountain using binoculars and he warns Remy to be careful. On these roads it would be easy to have an accident. Remy replies that he appreciates the concern. The hatchet face he wears hides a real warm heart. Remlik tells him he misunderstands. They all look forward to his death, but he would prefer the pleasure of causing it himself. He wishes Remlik good luck with that as this truck is bigger and faster than him and he’s still stopping it in its tracks in style.
Remy approaches a large truck heading in the opposite direction. Once he is within sight, he charges the bike up until it’s ready to explode. With only yards to go, he leaps from the bike and lets it continue its path towards its target. When it collides with the truck there is an explosion which stops the truck dead. The German driver and his mate step out and ask Gambit if he’s okay. The driver says he should stay still and they’ll call an ambulance. Remy has no idea what he’s saying, but then he notices several red dots appear on the guy’s face. He leaps at him and tells him to get down before turning to Remlik, who has appeared close by. “I told you. No one gets hurt,” he snaps. Remlik asks if he was serious when he said that? He thought a mutant thief would rather leave no witnesses. He smiles and says fine, they’ll leave them. There is a chance that someone might take this service road and find them before they freeze.
They climb into the truck and drive off, heading towards Eurotech Research Project, a large series of buildings almost hidden amongst the mountains. Cich informs those inside the truck that the payload is located on the lower level of the rearmost building in the complex. Gambit will handle all the internal access points. The truck pulls up outside the gates and the security guard tells them to go to Dock 3 on the development complex. Remlik orders Gambit to get out. He tells Remlik that he gives a great pep talk. He sees why Cich put him in charge. Remlik informs him that the rendezvous is in twelve minutes.
He gets out and notices that he has a big ugly shadow in the form of another of Cich’s goons. He asks what that’s about. Cich informs him that they have to keep him motivated. If Remy steps out of line his shadow will kill civilians. Remy approaches three female workers and lays on the charm, asking where he can find the Matter Transport Technologies lab. They all smile adorningly but their male colleague sniffs, “What kind of accent is that?”
They drive over in the truck and someone explains to the Eurotech staff that their instructions were to deliver it to the lab. The guy replies that the lab is in a different building. They can either go there or he will call security to handle it for them. As he speaks, Remy pulls up the shutter behind the guy making it look like he works inside and apologizes for being late. Someone told him he had twelve minutes. He tells the guy that they’re taking their packages down to the bottom floor. The guy replies by pointing out that the delivery note says otherwise but Remy informs him that there’s been a last minute change. He apologizes for being short, but the packages are from Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four. The stuff is a compound of antimatter, vibranium and unstable molecules. If they don’t get it into a controlled environment in five minutes it’ll explode and tear a million holes to the Negative Zone. They certainly wouldn’t want that. The guy lets them through. The place freaks him out sometimes.
Once through, Remy scans a card allowing them access to the next level which he stole from someone earlier. Remlik tells him that he calls attention to himself with his lies, but as he swipes the card, Remy explains that he’s just giving folks something to think about so they don’t notice what he’s really getting away with. Once inside, Remy notices that it’s a public area. He confronts Remlik and reminds him that he said he could do this without people getting hurt. Remlik asks Remy not to worry. Cich is a smart man. They chose today as everyone is out at a conference; one organized by Cich himself. He asks, in that case, what they are expecting to shoot. Remlik aims his pistol at Remy and informs him that the weapons are for him.
They move to a doorway which has security measures in place. Remlik tells him that if he needs to open the door without triggering an alarm. Remy notes that the keypad has about twenty keys. There could be millions of combinations. Fortunately, the people at Eurotech don’t keep things too tidy and clean, and his powers won’t charge living things. He sends a small charge across the keypad and the keys which have been pressed reveal fingerprints. It doesn’t take him long to work out which order to press them and he opens the door. Remlik asks one man to stand and guard whilst the rest go with him.
Once inside, Remlik contacts Borya Cich and informs him that the targets have been acquired and the environments controlled. Gambit asks if they are finally ready to tell him what they’ve gone to all this trouble for. What’s so valuable to a man who has everything? Remlik pulls out a knife and grimaces. He grabs Remy and replies, “Had. Mr. Cich had everything, until your filthy mutant hands destroyed so much.” He warns Gambit that he would be unwise to try and take anything from him again. Remy replies that he wasn’t fixing to take anything. But, since he figured he’s so expendable, he might as well be the one to give this thing a test drive. Remlik doesn’t think him being expendable is a bad idea.
Borya Cich contacts Remlik and tells him that he is more concerned with Remy’s other idea. They do need to ensure the merchandise is in working order. Remlik decides to find out. He taps one of the small devices and it disappears. He reckons that teleportation seems successful. The devices are good. Cich asks him to collect as many as he can before…
Remlik is caught by surprise as Gambit blindsides him. He grabs one of the tiny teleportation devices and apologizes, but was this their plan? Kidnap a thief around a bunch of teleportation tech? He guesses Cich isn’t the mastermind he took him for. “Au revoir, les sots,” he says as he disappears. Unfortunately for Remy, he reappears on Cich’s plane where several henchmen are waiting for him. One of them pistol whips him and Cich thanks him for being so predictable. He informs Remy that the devices were designed for transporting goods. He needed to test whether or not a living specimen would survive. So, while he was inside, his tech man created a blanket re-route to the jet on all nearby locator signals. “You caught me off guard once,” he adds as a henchman tasers Remy unconscious. “It’s a grave mistake to think you can do it again.”
(sometime later)
Remy awakens only to find wind rushing past him at speed. He looks up and sees that he is strapped by the ankles to the back of the plane at the end of a long cable. His hands are cuffed behind his back. Remy asks if it’s too late to say sorry. Speaking so Remy can hear him through an earpiece, Cich tells him that this was his chance to make good, but he chose rebellion. He doesn’t take kindly to betrayal. Remy asks if he could bring him in safe and sound so they can work out a truce, but Cich apologizes and states that, for some reason, he just doesn’t trust him. He presses a button and a connector between two cables detaches leaving Remy to fall to the ground. “Cich! Cich! Damn Youuuu!!!” he cries as he begins to fall.
As he drops, he thinks about his options. He gets his hands in front of him and calls out, just in case anyone with super hearing can hear him. It’s worth a shot, but no one arrives. He sees the city below getting closer quickly but he manages to slip his handcuffs. He still has no idea how to land. Concrete, glass, metal… they’re just different kinds of death. He wonders whether he could crash through something or maybe charge something to cause an explosion to slow his fall. He starts to think that he may have made a mistake this time. He closes his eyes as he resigns himself to his fate, thinking about how he’s made a lot of mistakes.
Suddenly, he arrives back in the jet with a ‘whkam!” He struggles to get his bearings as Borya Cich asks him to pardon the dramatics, but he wanted him to experience what will happen the next time he thinks about deviating from his instructions. As he may have noticed, his men plugged the teleportation device to his ankle. If he tries to get away they can pull him right back. He leans in close to Gambit and adds that they wired in a few other features too. If he tries to remove it or heaven forbid, try to blow it off, the explosives built in will take him with it. Remy asks why he went to all that trouble when he could have just let him fall. Cich reckons that his last job was just to secure him on a leash. They’re now ready to prep him for the real target.
(elsewhere)
Two suits make their way through their building, past an interrogation room where two aliens are being interviewed. The guy asks how sure they are. His female colleague assures him that they are sure. They knock on a door which has a note on it saying ‘piss off.’ “Director?” he says. They enter and inform the Director that they have recaptured satellite data from the Eurotech robbery and believe they have pinpointed the aircraft. He asks if the note fell off the door. The brunette says no, but adds that the men involved in the robbery seem to be headed straight for the U.K.
The director asks what makes them think these hooligans merit his attention. She shows him a photo of Gambit and explains that none of the men show up on their database except for the man who led them… Remy LeBeau. He replies that he’s bloody well familiar with the X-Men. “Director Wisdom,” she asks, “What should we do?” He replies that they are MI:13 - the Queen’s own knights of abnormal ass-kicking. They should rally the troops and then they’ll be ready for the bastard!


[User]
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[Assistant]
British Invasion
Gambit is on board Borya Cich’s private jet, along with several of his bodyguards. One of his assistants informs Cich that the teleportation device is still intact and that multiple teleportations didn’t alter the beacon signal, audio monitor or explosive charges. Cich, tapping away on a laptop computer, is pleased. Now they have Remy LeBeau hooked up to his leash he can begin to repay him.
He then brings up Excalibur on screen and informs Remy that he is going to get it for him. The sword of Arthurian legend is currently in possession of an Arab woman named Faiza Hussain - a doctor turned associate of MI:13. Gambit asks him to hold up. Does he mean Pete Wisdom and British spies carrying alien rayguns MI:13? Cich figures that Remy might know Wisdom but he informs Cich that they’ve never met. But, he’s heard plenty of stories. Most of them end up with somebody dead and him walking away.
Cich asks him not to worry about Wisdom. Miss Hussain is to work independent of her agency today. Remy asks where that will be, exactly. Cich replies that he can see for himself. They should be passing overhead right now. Remy looks out of the window and sees Buckingham Palace below, home of Queen Elizabeth II. “L’enfer,” he gasps.
(later)
The Queen and Faiza Hussain are dishing out honors. An assistant introduces Gambit as Sir Anthony Ellis, who is receiving an honor for services to arts. As Remy approaches, Faiza turns to the Queen and asks if she wouldn’t rather dub these knights. The Queen replies that Excalibur represents the empire and its history far more than even her. And, the sword has chosen her. Besides, she adds, she has no doubt these men feel safer with a steadier blade at their heads.
Remy kneels before them and Faiza places Excalibur on his left shoulder. She is nervous about nicking him. Remy looks up and thanks her for being gentle. It was his first time too. In an instant, he grabs Excalibur and kicks Faiza away from him. He charms the Queen by kissing her hand and then makes a run for it. He calls to the plane as members of the Queen’s Guard chase him.
Remy figures that by using a little charm and making jokes will keep him from thinking about how this has to be one of the most outright foolish jobs he’s ever done. But, Borya Cich has him under his thumb good and proper and wired to explode the minute he hears something he doesn’t like. He radios the plane and informs them that he has his target. He’s ready for extraction. As swords are thrust in his direction, he calls again but receives no answer. Faiza asks the Queen if she’s all right. She replies that she’s fine but she must stop ‘that roguish man.’
Surrounded, Remy decides to use his powers to his advantage. He charges one of his opponent’s swords which explodes, scattering the guards in all directions. Gambit then wonders why he hasn’t been teleported out of there. He tells whoever’s listening that they’ve had their laugh so they can pull him out now. As he sprints away with Faiza in hot pursuit, he wonders if this was Cich’s plan all along… to get him killed as a thief and for the world to know it.
He makes his way to a window and crashes through it, landing on the grass outside. He tumbles and then looks up to find Pete Wisdom and several MI:13 operatives waiting for him. Wisdom smiles. “Gambit, put down the legendary pig sticker and don’t make any sudden movements,” he warns, suggesting that if he does his men will blow his head off with Elven magic and quantum something-or-others. “You must be Pete Wisdom,” replies Gambit. “I was hopin’ we’d meet one a’ these days.”
(North London)
Remy is seated, shackled and surrounded by armed agents. Pete Wisdom informs him that he knows all about him so he should really focus on the chat they’re about to have and not on any ridiculous escape attempts. His agents would be delighted to vaporize the Yank who made a joke of the Queen. Only they get to do that. He mentions a blue guy who looks like an alien standing nearby and explains that he prevents Remy from using his powers. That means no charging his restraints with kinetic energy and blasting free. He adds that Dr. Faiza Hussain is under lockdown accompanied by their finest agents.
Remy doesn’t think that this makes sense. This must all have been about something else and it ain’t done yet, otherwise Cich would have blown him to pieces rather than risk him talking. What game is he playing and what moves can he make without scaring Cich into pushing the button? Wisdom leans over to him and asks what he wanted with Excalibur. Remy admits that he’s not too sure himself. Wisdom says he hopes he’s not about to give him one of those ‘I was possessed by the Shadow King’ or ‘It was bloody Skrulls’ sob stories. They’ve been tracking him since he hit the Swiss red facility.
He hits a switch and brings up images of the hit. He notes that Remy’s crew didn’t bother dodging any of the security systems because their faces don’t show up in any database. Remy knows this doesn’t look good. Wisdom adds that he’s in the intelligence business so he can imagine how this doesn’t sit well with him. Remy hasn’t had time to figure out whether Cich is still listening and has to decide whether to cover his ass or his own. Wisdom demands that Gambit tell him everything or he will lock him in the deepest, darkest hole that even he cannot break out of. For starters, he wants to know exactly who those men are and who keeps them off his grid.
On board the plane, one of Cich’s tech guys asks (in Russian) if they should activate. Cich asks him to wait. This is a chance to see what kind of man Mr. LeBeau is. Wisdom leans in again to Gambit, who tells him that he just got knighted, so he’s sure he is supposed to call him sir. Wisdom turns and asks one of the agents to shoot him. He blasts Remy with his hi-tech weapon and Remy is rocked. He screams out loud and Wisdom informs him that the weapon knocks his spirit-energy out of synch with everything else. No one knew you could do that, so no one has ever banned it as torture. He has a million little bits like that. “So, care to talk now?” he asks, “Or shall I send an agent down to the basement to fetch some of my favorites?”
Cich figures he’s heard enough. Wisdom pushes Remy hard against the wall and tells him he doesn’t give a *&%@ if they have mutual spandex acquaintances. He came to his country and targeted his agent. Elsewhere, Cich asks Remlik if he’s ready. Remlik assures him that he is. Wisdom looks down at Remy and notices the device strapped to his ankle. He tells his agents that he told them to strip him of any tech. As he grabs Remy, a bright flash nearby distracts him and Remlik appears with several armed soldiers. “Open fire,” he barks as gunfire rings out.
Remy figures that this must have been the plan all along. They just needed him to tell them exactly where to teleport. Remlik faces off against Wisdom and manages to get the drop on him, smacking him in the mouth with his pistol. He then prepares to shoot another agent who approaches from behind, only for Remy to leap in and knock the guy to the floor. He tells Remlik that the kid almost got the drop on him. He could never have lived with himself if he didn’t stop him. “Right,” snarls Remlik.
An explosion nearby blows a door off its hinges and Remlik and his men go through it. Gambit tries to follow but Remlik warns him off, tossing a small device to the floor which excretes a kind of goo which expands rapidly, sealing him and his men inside. Remy is grabbed by two MI:13 agents. Wisdom asks them to hold him and asks Devon to radio the agents holding Faiza to ready them for incoming. He calls for everyone else to blow the damned door back open!
Inside the room, Faiza asks the agents guarding her why she can’t go and help heal the wounded with Excalibur. Gambit, meanwhile, thinks that this is all wrong. If Cich wanted Excalibur why wait until now? Why not pull him out at the ceremony? Was it because Wisdom was ready for them? He figures not. Even if you’re looking to get the element of surprise it ain’t worth coming to MI:13’s turf - not unless you have to. Pete Wisdom radios for status. An agent replies that they can’t get eyes on the invaders. They must have brought in something to jam the monitoring systems.
Meanwhile, Remlik is led to another room. Faiza is informed that the opposition will be on their position any minute. Faiza asks one of her guards to at least let her up front to defend herself, but he asks her to shush. Remlik and his men blow the door and enter the room as the dust clears. He radios Borya Cich and informs him that the targets have been acquired. They are in the vault. Confused, Faiza calls Pete Wisdom and informs him that their foes would easily have made it to her by now but there is no sign of them. Wisdom informs her that he’s shouted out for the psychics at HQ to run a satellite scan. A moment later he receives information that Remlik and his men are in the armory. He calls for every agent who isn’t completely tapped to converge in the basement armory. Listening, Remy hands it to Cich. Remy destroyed the paranoid old hoarder’s mess of super weapons so he fooled him into handing him MI:13’s. And, he expects Remy to take the fall.
Wisdom grabs Remy and, holding his white hot blades to his face, asks what he knows. Remy replies that he knows that he missed something important. His little blue trump card has been K-O’ed since the fight. Wisdom turns to see the blue guy slumped against the wall, unconscious. Remy charges his hands and brings them down on the floor, smashing a hole through which he drops. Faiza calls Wisdom and informs him that she sent some men to cover the exits. The rest of them are closing in on the armory. She receives no answer and calls his name again.
As Remlik’s men secure the last of their targets, Gambit appears and informs them that Wisdom and his men are heading their way. One of Remlik’s men sees them coming and says they have to go. Cich’s tech guy then teleports the whole team back to their base. “My goodness,” exclaims Cich as he sees their haul. Remy informs him that he’s got his damn arsenal. He doesn’t quite see why he had to leave him on the hook quite so long though. Cich admits that it was not necessary. It was simply a bonus. Remy asks if that settles things between them, but Cich asks him not to get ahead of himself. They have yet to inspect his bounty. God forbid he brought him any surprises.
Remlik asks if he can really trust the mutant. Cich says of course not but, as he sees it, he has to unpack and decide whether to kill him there or throw him back to the wolves. Back in North London, Wisdom inspects the empty armory. An agent asks if he has any orders. Wisdom asks him to contact every international agency who’ll pick up the bloody call. He can tell them that Gambit is now operating a criminal network armed with weapons of mass destruction. He is now considered an enemy of the crown and, as such, he should be hunted with extreme prejudice.


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[Assistant]
Stiff Upper Lip
(North London)
Pete Wisdom is annoyed. “Get me one of those bloody mutant-killing robots!” he snaps as he walks with Faiza Hussain, the Black Knight and several MI:13 troopers. Faiza asks if that would be unwise, him being a mutant, too. He says that this is MI:13. There are ten mad scientists on the payroll. They can set the bloody thing to just kill Gambit! The Black Knight says that he knows he missed the action, but isn’t Gambit one of the X-Men? He’s one of the good guys, right? Pete replies that Remy LeBeau traipsed into their country, assaulted their monarch, attempted to steal Excalibur, managed to steal his massive arsenal and wrecked much of their clubhouse in the process! So, he’ll be quite happy to shoot first and maybe, possibly, consider asking questions at some point thereafter. A couple of agents attract his attention and inform him that there is something he needs to see in the wreckage.
(Cich’s warehouse)
One of Borya Cich’s men informs his boss that there are just a few more weapons to sort through, then all the men can switch to testing and cataloging. He asks how many of them require the skills of Mr. LeBeau. “Just a few,” comes the reply. Remy, seated at a table, says it’s rude to talk about a fella like he isn’t even there. Two men put a large box on the table and he warns them they need to be careful with it. Cich asks if he hasn’t got any extra witticism to go with his warning. Surely he hasn’t lost his bravado just because he’s left him strapped to some explosives? Remy takes his lock-picking equipment and goes to work on the case, saying that he always gets grumpy when he’s yanked around by a damn teleportation device locked on his ankle.
Remy thinks to himself that, when Borya Cich kidnapped him to get revenge for breaking all those deadly toys in his private collection, he never figured his plan would be to use him to crack open a mess of spy weapons, space lasers and magic wands! Maybe it’s the fact that even if he does everything he is asked, Cich may still blow him up. He’s used to folks trying to kill him. It’s when they try and control him when he has a problem.
Cich is ready and waiting for him to make his move. What he doesn’t realize is that he made it a few cases ago.
One of Cich’s men carries a case with a glowing, charged card sticking out the back. By the time he discovers it, it is too late. The case explodes taking a couple of men with it. Gambit leaps from the table and opens the case he is working on and removes a weapon that looks like a futuristic hair dryer. However, instead of fleeing, his main opposition Remlik just stands there. He informs Cich that it seems their mutant guest has outstayed his welcome. May he have the pleasure of dismembering him? Cich tells him he’s earned it. He can go ahead. “Live a little.”
Gambit warns Remlik to hold on. He isn’t generally the killing kind but if he takes one more step… Remlik tells him that he doesn’t even know what he’s holding. Gambit admits that he doesn’t, but given a minute he’ll figure it out. He fires the weapon which discharges a bright burst of energy which sends Remlik flying into a pile of boxes. “Ah, see,” says Remy. “Didn’t even need a whole minute.” He asks the rest to surrender but, as he speaks, he hears a groan coming from the boxes. Remlik then appears. His chest is a map of stitching and his eyes glow. He smiles at Gambit and reckons that he will ‘live a little’ after all.
Cich asks Gambit if he really thought his collection would stop with strange and powerful objects. He collects remarkable specimens as well. Remlik informs him that he then cut those specimens up and put them inside him. He smashes Gambit, who is sent rolling across the floor from the punch. Remlik adds that he benefits from more than three dozen transplant surgeries from remarkable people, technologies, aliens and mutants. Cich adds that most of his organs and tissues are the very best of their kind ever found - all compiled into one perfect, relentless and hateful man.
Remy leaps up and kicks Remlik in the mouth. Remlik smashes the floor in response but misses Gambit. He tells Remy that he’s better than mutants. He suffered to be better. He punches at Remy again but the Cajun manages to use his agility to evade the attack. He says he earned this whilst Remy was merely born. “Mutants are only luck,” he adds. Remy leaps towards Borya Cich and says he doesn’t know about that. He’s got a little more than luck. He grabs Cich around the neck and charges up his tie. He warns Remlik that he might not want to keep insulting the mutant who has his livelihood in his hands.
Unexpectedly, Cich uses his cane and stabs Remy in the side. He then flicks a switch which sends an electric charge though him, throwing him to the side. He tells Remy that he mistakes him for being helpless. It’s a very grave mistake indeed. He takes the charged tie and throws it at the wall, where it explodes. He adds that this mistake is also his last. He tells Remlik that there is no need to drag this out any longer. They have all they need from Mr. LeBeau. All but his erasure.  He tells Remy that there will be no more talking and no more chances to escape. Now he simply kills him. He asks Remlik if he has the remote device for Mr. LeBeau’s anklet. Remy informs him that there is a problem with that. One, Remlik ain’t got it. He does. Two, he doesn’t have the anklet and three… He presses a button and a huge explosion rocks the place.
Pete Wisdom and his agents arrive through the smoke and Wisdom suggests that Cich surrender because they are terribly good at the part that comes next. Cich barks out an order to his men in Russian. “You all wanted to play with your new toys, yes? Kill these imperial puppets!” One of his men fires a cannon at the invading army but the strange cannon shoots fairies. They take one look at Excalibur and turn on the guy. “Protect Excalibur,” says one. “Aid to its most worthy champion,” says another. Faiza tells him he doesn’t know the first thing about England does he? Gambit tells Faiza that he likes a woman who commands authority. She tells him he is a fugitive of justice before double-taking his last comment. The Black Knight tells Remy to take it easy. There aren’t any women where he’s going. And Faiza is his… steward.
While they do battle, Cich reaches for the remote control. He is just about to grab it when Gambit uses a bo-staff to crush his hand. He apologizes, but he needs him to explain to these fine folks just how he dragged him into all this. Cich notices that his anklet has been removed. “How…?” he asks. He replies that Cich should know that he breaks out just as good as he breaks in.
(flashback)
During a period of action, Remy removes his anklet using smoke to prevent Remlik from spotting him. He then leaves it next to a doorway and uses his energy to write a message on the wall - ‘Copy this signal. Ready the cavalry.’
(present)
Remy tells Borya Cich that it’s lucky for him that Cich would rather hear the sound of his own voice than get away with it all. Cich replies that it’s funny. He should say the same of him. Remy turns to see Remlik charging at him carrying a giant axe. He swings but Remy ducks just in time. Pete Wisdom runs towards them and orders him to lay down his arms. Remy charges up a few cards and replies that it doesn’t look like he’s fixing to do that just yet. He throws the cards which connect with Remlik. Both his hands are blown off and Remy follows up by kicking him in the mouth once again. Remlik falls and Remy turns to gloat at Cich. “All that work on your man, Cich… and you left him with a glass jaw.”
Faiza and the Black Knight approach him and Faiza informs him that, if he’s quite finished acting like he just saved the day single-handed, she is quite sure he is under arrest. Remy is then shackled and Cich and his men are led away by agents of MI:13. Wisdom warns his men to be careful with Remlik. He’s pretty sure he has a wizard who might be able to turn him into stone but he doubts their medics are good enough to reattach anything. Remy holds up his shackles and asks if he has a wizard that can get him out of them. “No,” replies Wisdom. In fact, he adds, Remy needs to convince him not to pack him up with the rest of these bastards. Remy admits that it looked bad, but he also knows Wisdom isn’t stupid. That’s why he left him the cuff so he could copy the GPS signature on it.
Wisdom informs him that they found the explosive charge and an audio transmitter, yes. He knows Remy couldn’t talk without risking Cich cutting his losses and blowing them all to a hell he doesn’t believe in. But, he also ran. Remy assures him it was so that he could get to Cich. He couldn’t lead Wisdom to him red-handed. He’d be too slippery to pin this on. If he really doubts his intentions, he should know that he could have left any time he wanted. He lets the shackles go, revealing that both his hands are now free.
Pete Wisdom gets right in his face and tells him they should be clear about this. He isn’t entertained by his &*$%@*$%. He doesn’t like being used as a tool to mitigate his personal screw-ups. And, most importantly, he saw footage from when he tried to steal Excalibur. He was enjoying himself and way too much for this ‘under duress’ pile he’s shoveling now. He tells Gambit that he can trust him when he says he knows what it’s like to walk the line between good guy and utter bastard and in his experience he dances on it a little too much. He’ll find himself without allies on either side and enemies on both. He tells his men to get Remy out of there.
As he is led away, Remy asks where they’re taking him. “Out of my country,” replies Wisdom. “Best case scenario. You owe me a bloody massive one,” he adds. Remy asks what the other case scenarios are. Wisdom tells him that if he does anything to suggest he shouldn’t have let him go, he’ll bring the full force of the realm down on him. “Safe flight, Gambit,” he adds as the plane doors close.
In flight, Remy asks if they mind making a few stops on the way. He’s pretty sure his milk’s gone bad sometime around Switzerland. His traveling companion says that’s the trouble with Americans. They confuse courtesy with servitude. Remy tells him he’s not sure it’s courtesy to put him on every international wanted list. It took them a couple of minutes to do that. How long will it take to clear? The guy admits that the bureaucracy means it takes a little longer. Remy says that won’t do. He doesn’t work well with restrictions.
He touches a screen and asks Fence if he’s out there. His companion informs him that it isn’t a radio he’s touching but Remy assures him that Fence will hear him talking just the same. Sure enough, Fence appears on screen and he asks Remy where the heck he’s been. He should answer his phone. Remy replies that it got smashed up two kidnapping’s ago. He has a little problem at the moment. Fence replies that, unless it’s life-or-death, it’ll have to take a back seat. He uses the contraption in his eye to bring up the image of an E.S.U. professor and informs him that she is the one whose fundraiser he crashed to rob Borya Cich. She’s been sending out half-a-dozen messages to Gambit which he hacked into… when he got worried about him. They all go something like this. He plays the video footage.
The professor, standing in front of a large statue, looks at a camera and says she doesn’t know who else to turn to. They are trapped in the Forever City. It was supposed to be abandoned but something is hunting them. Two students are dead. “Please,” she pleads. “We need your help… or none of us will make it out alive!”


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[Assistant]
Forever Endeavor
Gambit turns up at the Forever City and enters an E.S.U. vehicle. On a screen inside, he brings up his contact, Fence, who informs Remy that the city was built by the High Evolutionary; a mad genius who built it to hyper-evolve those within its walls. However, the results were not what he envisioned. From what he can determine from the records he pulled, it looks like the Evolutionary soon abandoned the city. Gambit says it sounds like these E.S.U. kids thought the place was a safe site for their next excavation. Fence agrees. It probably was until something started devouring them.
He warns Remy to be careful. From the sound of their distress calls, the creatures stalking them are bad mamma jammas. Remy asks why he’s had to dress like he has in a body-hugging black and white number. Fence informs him that the suit was developed by Reed Richards to negate the Evolutionary’s energies. The field it creates will keep him from evolving any unwanted gills. Remy asks if this is what his generous donation to the cause paid for. Fence replies that, as he recalls, he never donated that night. He just stole from the host. Remy wonders how many times that night is gonna come back and bite him in the ass. Remy then exits the vehicle and enters the city proper.
A large statue of the High Evolutionary dominates the landscape as he walks cautiously to his target location, thinking about how all he wanted was to take a break from a life that didn’t make sense anymore. Teacher, super hero, just another sucker waiting around for something to happen. He missed the thrill of the steal and the freedom of going it alone. Now, here he is in future spandex rescuing students. He can’t wait to see what’s next.
He finds an entrance and drops down into a damp room, informing Fence that he is inside. He tells Remy that the last satellite images had the E.S.U. students near the center of the city. He adds that, for as much as he likes to help him, it’s much better for his business when these escapades net something he can sell. Remy replies that he always tries. Fence asks Remy not to give him that malarkey. He had his run of MI: 13’s and Cich’s vault. All he got out of either occasion was a two-hour sob story about how he traipsed around exotic ruins with a beautiful woman.
Gambit asks if he’s kidding him. Joelle nearly killed him several times over, unleashed a bunch of alien dragons, sucker punched him and then ran off home with both plane tickets! He tells Fence that, if he finds her, he should get S.H.I.E.L.D. to lock her up in that Negative Zone prison. Fence says he’s pretty sure that Obama shut that down, but he’ll keep looking. But, he adds, from the way Gambit tells it, he still thinks she’s more wayward soul than global threat. He tells her he’s pretty sure she could be her Bonnie to his Clyde.
Gambit comes across a large blue/white machine that it clearly operational and, when he gets in close, the communications system between the pair of them begins to crackle. He tells Fence that the evolution engine is back online and cutting into their signal. As he speaks, the link between them is severed completely. Remy leaves the room, thinking how because his eye in the sky is now gone he’ll just have to stay sharp. He figures that at least if there are man-eaters in there they’ll be big enough for him to see them coming, right? Unseen by Remy, a flying creature is grabbed by something much bigger and uglier that emerges from a walkway high above him.
Gambit soon finds a lab and notices some broken equipment lying on the floor. It’s not what he was hoping for and he doesn’t fancy running into the thing that did this to these poor kids. He then looks at the wall and sees large slashes running across it. They look like Wolverine’s claw marks, only much larger. He figures something sure wanted what was behind that wall badly. It was probably chasing after dinner, which, he guesses, is a somebody. He takes a closer look and notes that the High Evolutionary designed some fancy security. It might almost be fun to try and crack it. He pauses and then recalls an old saying. Looking around, he reckons that just ‘cause you’re paranoid doesn’t mean there isn’t a giant future creature out to get ya. Maybe he should skip the delicate approach and try to convince himself that he’s doing this to save these kids a little faster.
He charges up a card and uses it to blow a small hole in the door. He knows that the sound will definitely alert the local wildlife to the fact that he’s there. He then uses his bo-staff to try and prize the gap a little wider and he slowly begins to slide the doors open. As he hears a loud growl behind him, he figures his paranoia is well founded. He quickly leaps inside and lets the doors slam shut as a creature makes a grab for his leg. Inside he finds five people, one of whom is the professor who made the call for help. “You made it!” she cries. Remy replies that he’s just got a real sense of why they needed rescuing. She recognizes him and says they can’t being to tell him how grateful they are. Another asks where the rest of his team is. Remy admits that they’ve just caught him coming from a solo mission.
He asks if everyone’s here. The professor informs him that there were more of them. “Three of my students ran off, and… and…” She finds herself unable to finish her sentence but one of the others finishes it for her. She tells Remy that they got eaten. “Morons.” Remy asks if they’ve any idea what that creature is.  The professor informs him that their working hypothesis is that the evolution engine, which was thought to have been decommissioned, has been firing up at random. A student adds that nearby animals must have made their way in and got mutated a few millennia into the future. “But,” the professor points out, “It’s not just animals.”
Gambit looks around at one of their number who has changed in their physical appearance, exhibiting pointy ears and longer arms. “Mon dieu…” he exclaims. They explain that, according to Reed Richards’ initial notes on the city, with limited exposure the effects are supposed to be temporary. But, in reviewing the data, their window for recovery is rapidly disintegrating. Gambit says that they don’t have time to waste. They have a critter circlin’ their doors which means they aren’t watching the roof. The professor points out that the buildings are protected from the evolution engine but, once they’re outside, they’re not. Remy replies that they will have to move fast in that case.
As they begin to ascend a staircase, the professor thanks him. No one would help them, - the local authorities, federal agencies… they all said that they couldn’t send anyone because technically this is a sovereign nation. Remy tells her he learned that from the black ops agency that dropped him off but who wouldn’t stick around to lend a hand. She replies that when they get out of there there’ll be hell to pay. Remy asks her that if she does go arguing with the authorities, not to mention him, or Cich for that matter. There’s a chance that they’re both currently considered international terrorists.
As they reach the roof, he then tells them all to keep quiet. Any sound could give them away to whatever’s out there. He pops a girl’s bubble before it cracks. “Geez,” she sighs. “I guess Wolverine’s the cool one.” The mutated student asks if she didn’t hear him. They should not make a sound. As he speaks, she sneezes and covers his face in green slime. The slime then begins to stick together and the other students struggle to pull it from their skin. Gambit realizes that her bacteria must have evolved, so he knocks the mutated one to the floor and warns everyone to stay back. The girl who sneezed screams which has the undesirable effect of alerting every creature within the vicinity to their location.
One of the students wonders whether they may not have heard that. Gambit picks up the mutated one and starts running. “They did,” he replies. “Run!” As they dash across the roof, two monstrous creatures begin to follow on foot as well as a flying pterosaur-type monster. He orders them to get as far to the edge of town as they can. He’ll beat them back and if there are any others, at least they’ll see them coming. “What about you?” asks the professor. He asks her to relax. He wrestled alligators before he could write his name. This just feels like goin’ home.
He turns and heads towards the monsters. He wishes he could say he was kidding about that, but being raised in the Thieves’ Guild wasn’t exactly a normal childhood. His first memory is being handcuffed to somebody’s porch rail, which they tied up some gator to just a few feet away. Folks in the guild meant it as some kind of test. Seeing how he was stolen, not born, into the life, some folks had doubts that thieving was really in his blood. They figured a natural thief should figure out how to slip his chains before some dumb, brutal animal thinks to chew through his ropes. He was two years old!
As two monsters charge him from either side, using his amazing agility Gambit leaps onto one of them and somersaults, causing them to crash into each other. He lands on the beak of the pterosaur-type creature and quickly uses his staff to wedge it between its hard palate and the floor of its mouth. He then clicks it and the staff extends, forcing its mouth wide open. As he battles the flier, other creatures simply fight each other.
Gambit thinks back to his time in the guild once again. He got himself out of that situation of course, but that ain’t when he learned about picking locks. He reckons that’s when he learned about life. From then on, he knew even folks you trust could turn on ya for what seems like almost no reason. But, he still catches himself sticking his neck out when he ain’t got nothing to gain. He has to ask himself, is that ‘cause the world ain’t always so bad or just ‘cause he ain’t learned his lesson?
Meanwhile, the professor and her students try to get the green gunk off the mutated one’s face. She tries spraying an antibacterial onto it but it does no good. A blonde named Neko recommends nail polish remover. Before they can try that, one of the creatures appears behind her and wraps its tongue around her, lifting her off the ground and away from the rest. “Help, Jackson!” she cries. Another student tells Jackson that hethrew her at that thing. Jackson assures her that he didn’t mean to. He panicked! The monster would have killed them both.
Gambit sees what’s going on. Monsters, he thinks. Freak science, deadly mutations, girls always in need of rescue… If this is college, maybe he would have enjoyed getting a degree. He leaps onto one multi-armed creature and forces it to the ground. He then grabs one of the nasty pieces of gum left over from the sneezing girl and leaps from the creature’s back towards the one carrying the girl. As he passes it in mid-air, he throws the gum into its mouth and it immediately expands. It reels backwards as the gum expands in its mouth and drops the girl. Gambit catches her, admitting that he didn’t know if that would work. She asks if he’s always that lucky. “Funny,” he replies. “You the second girl ta ask me that this week.” Neko asks if she saved her, too. Gambit isn’t so sure about that. He saved her from the dragons at least.
When they reach safety, he puts her down. She tells him that he saved her while her boyfriend only saved himself. He replies that he understands her being upset and all, but plenty of folks make bad choices when something has them scared. She says she knows that, but you never pull away when a girl’s in trouble. Remy thinks back to Joelle and wonders if maybe he missed a cry for help when she told him that next time he should let her die. He wonders if he missed it because he was already pulling away.
Remy tells the girl that they oughta get the rest out of there before that engine does its work. They join the others in a safe place and have a little downtime. Jackson and Neko argue, with Jackson telling her she’s probably just in shock. Neko tells him she realized something back there. She’s just more into mutants. Remy tells the professor that he’ll pass word about what’s going on to his buddy Hank McCoy. He and some of those super heroes probably want to know about this. She asks why he says it like that - like he’s not a hero. Remy replies that it’s ‘cause he ain’t. He asks if she knows what he did at her little fundraiser at Cich’s place. She says that she does. She heard talk, anyway. But, she also knows what he did here today. Most people wouldn’t and fewer people could. She hates to think what would have happened if he hadn’t come to save them when they needed him.
Remy then realizes something and asks for her phone. He then calls Fence and tells him he wins. “When you find Joelle, don’t turn her in. You lemme know where she’s at an’ I promise I’ll try and talk some sense inta the girl.” He just hopes she isn’t mixed up in any more bad business.
(meanwhile)
Joelle is at a club dressed in a sexy skin-tight dress. Around her are several super-villains, some in costume. She asks the doorman where she can find the big boss. She has a guy in her pocket that he might be interested in.


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Provide a full summary of the comic book.

[Assistant]
A Man Walks Into a Bar…
(Fence’s black market warehouse (and cupcakes shop), Brooklyn, New York)
The shop is closed. Inside, Fence, wearing a ‘I Heart Labrapoodles’ apron, tells Gambit that, for all the years he’s known him, he still doesn’t understand his definition of a ‘good idea.’ Remy replies that his techno-voodoo found Joelle’s regular gin joint and he’s going to get her. It’s as simple as that. The girl is on a mighty dangerous path and he has enough on his conscience without leaving another pretty girl to the cruelty of fate. Fence replies that he was actually questioning his choice of ensemble. Changing clothes, Remy tells him that given the kind of company she’s keeping, if he goes in all subtle they’re gonna think he’s up to something. But, if he shows up in his old coat and pink & grey costume, then he’ll fit right in.
(The Club With No Name, Manhattan)
The place is filled as usual with low-brow criminals and pretty girls looking for a little adventure. Agents of A.I.M. mix with members of the Wrecking Crew and Boomerang. Villains try and impress the ladies with their anecdotes whilst Fence hacks into their video feed and reports back to Remy. He admits that their interior design is surprisingly tasteful considering the clientele. Remy replies that interior design isn’t his prior concern at the moment. He asks Fence to just keep at the ready. There’s a chance that he might not have thought this all the way through.
Sitting in his car watching the video feed, Fence informs him that the good news is that only a quarter of the people inside are psychopaths. Remy jokes that it’ll be like being back in New Orleans. His phone then rings and he says he has to take it. Ain’t that just the way with ex-girlfriends, he thinks. They always turn up just as you’re about to find yourself another girl. He picks up. “Hey, Chere. What can I…” Rogue breaks him off and tells him not to call her chere. Sitting at a computer whilst Thor, Captain America and Wolverine play rock, paper, scissors, Rogue asks how come the only way she gets to see him these days is on crime reports. Switzerland, London, wanted for questioning in Guatemala? Remy admits that it looks bad, but there are good explanations… for most of it. But, he doesn’t have time to explain right now.
She asks what kind of damn fool game he’s mixed up in now. He replies that he has a tight window of opportunity here. Rogue says she may not be the person he feels like talking to, but they have to sort this out before someone less friendly comes after him. He asks her to trust him but understands how it gets when somebody’s actions make ya nervous. As he heads to the club, he concludes the conversation by assuring her that she’ll hear from him in the next twenty-four hours, unless he’s captive or in some nut-job’s volcano base somewhere. But, he really has to go.
He approaches the doorman who asks ‘tight pants’ to hold up. Is he on the list? Remy replies that he’s probably not, but he’s sure he could call whoever they all need him to call. The doorman corrects him. He doesn’t mean a guest list. He means the ‘most wanted’ list. Inside, Stilt Girl points Gambit’s arrival out to Boomerang, wondering if they should cut out of there before the place turns into a war zone. Boomerang reckons the only trouble he’ll have with Gambit is having a nineties flashback! An A.I.M. agent asks his colleague if the person he sees is Gambit. He replies that it is, and it may prove to be a curious case-study in the establishment’s policy on anti-heroes. “Pff, You nerd,” replies his friend.
The doorman soon apologizes to Gambit. He hadn’t checked the international lists. If he may say, he’s had a helluva week. Remy replies that its true and it ain’t even over yet. He enters the club and soon bumps into Batroc the Leaper. He tells him it’s nice to see him when he hasn’t got a price on his head. “Zat you know of,” replies Batroc. Tiger Shark looms over Remy and snarls at him, asking why the hell he is there. Batroc replies for him, informing Tiger Shark that Gambit is no hero. He has a resume of thievery that cold stretch the Seine. At one time, he was even head of the Thieves Guild. Tiger Shark replies that he didn’t know that, but the question still stands. What is he here for? Remy tells him it’s the same thing that always gets him. A girl. Batroc says he’s in luck. They say chick’s dig bad boys, right? Tiger Shark tells him the place is full of sweet trashy proof. Remy replies that it’s not girls he’s after. It’s that girl. He points to Joelle.
Gambit thinks to himself that he wasn’t sure how he’d feel seeing her again. He thinks that’s reasonable when somebody tries to kiss ya and kill ya in under twenty-four hours. But, there she is and his head won’t settle between throwing her to S.H.I.E.L.D. or sheets. Of course, her sexy dress is making a mighty strong argument. She heads to another room and as he reaches for her, an armed bodyguard warns him to hold it. The vault is VIP only.
Joelle approaches the room’s main man. He has a naked woman laid before him with food laid on her to eat. “I she hopes I’m not interrupting, and I hope our business is still on for tonight, Mr.…” she says. The man replies that it’s Tombstone, but a girl like her can call him Lincoln. Maybe a couple of other things, too. He stands and Joelle informs him that she’s here for business. She’s negotiated this deal with the seller. He has the money and they can split the prize. If he thinks she has anything else in mind she’ll take the deal to one of the many other financiers she could have chosen. Tombstone replies fine and says he has the full amount her friend requires.
Anaconda, one of his bodyguards, holds her hand out and opens it to reveal a small dark object in her palm. Joelle pulls out a magnifying glass and checks it out. He tells her that it’s shrunken. Once he confirms that he’s forked over the real deal, then they’ll get the Pym Particles necessary to restore this to legal tender. With the bodyguard occupied, Gambit enters the room and tells Tombstone that he’s as shrewd a negotiator as his rep would suggest. He asks Remy who he is. “Gambit?!” says Joelle, wondering what he’s doing there. Tombstone replies that he’s vaguely familiar with his reputation as a mutant thief. He does card tricks or something, right? “Like you ain’t never seen,” replies Gambit. He explains that he isn’t there to show off. He just came to have a few words with his business partner.
He walks away with Joelle and jokes that he’s getting jealous seeing her getting into trouble with another fella. But, seeing Tombstone’s face, he’s willing to guess that this is charity. She slams him against the wall, placing her forearm against his neck. She tells him that she’s starting to think that it’s no coincidence that he shows up right when she’s about to get her hands on something. Cich’s party, the museum… here? Cute as he is, she won’t let him keep cutting in. He asks her to believe him; the only thing he came here for is her. Something’s got her chasing down real dark paths. He understands her not wanting to trust some thief she comes across, so he was hoping if she came back, she would see that he’s really offering to help… before she goes and does something she regrets. She looks him in the eye and tells him that’s sweet, and incredibly patronizing.
Remy tries to explain about the people in the club, but Joelle informs him that he isn’t the one with something to offer tonight. He can relax, though. She knows how to work the room. It got her to Cich and the relics. In fact, she adds, it seems like the only snag she keeps hitting is him. So, maybe he should go home because if push comes to shove, she thinks folks here would be more inclined to have her back than his.
Gambit knows that she’s right. She has all the advantages here unless she makes her less popular. He turns to Boomerang, who is blowing Joelle a kiss and tells him that they have similar taste in girl trouble. He hopes he has better luck than he did. Boomerang replies that he only needs one shot. “They always come back to Boomerang, baby,” he smiles.
Batroc is sitting with a couple of girls, trying to impress them. He informs them that he is the number one savat fighter in the world. Gambit walks past and says it’s east to be top dog when there are so few in the race. He apologizes for interrupting but did they see the girl he was with happen by? Batroc points him in the right direction, joking that she must be desperate to escape his company. Remy turns away but hits back by pointing out that they aren’t all lucky enough to have the looks and hygiene of a 17th century musketeer. As he walks by, Asp asks one of the A.I.M. agents if that was Gambit. He tells her it was. She wonders how come he’s never the one slapping her in handcuffs.
Nearby, a man sits with his arms folded. Three empty glasses sit on the table in front of him. He looks nervous. Joelle asks the man, Shakey, if he’s ready to make the deal. He puts his head in his hands and says maybe. Maybe he should take this to S.H.I.E.L.D. instead. She reminds him that he said, after his team finished a secret project for Baron Von Strucker, he ordered hits on all of them. S.H.I.E.L.D. will throw him in prison for what he did and he knows that those dummies won’t be able to keep him out of Hydra’s reach. They’re offering to buy his intel and offer protection.
Gambit approaches them. He bumps into a guy and appears to slip something into his own pocket. He apologizes for being a klutz. He grabs Joelle and tells her that he doesn’t think she took him as seriously as she ought to. She can consider this her last warning. He ain’t letting her get tied up with… Joelle snaps back at him, telling him that this is his last warning. If he so much as looks at her again tonight, she’ll sic every mask and cape in the place on him before he even knows what hit. “Awright, then,” he replies. “You asked for it.”
Joelle and Black Mamba enter Tombstone’s office, a vault, with Shakey. “You’re our trading partner, I presume,” says Tombstone. He hopes for his sake that he has brought he and the lady exactly what was promised. Shakey hands over a memory stick, explaining that it has coordinates, passcodes and blueprints that will take him right to Strucker. Tombstone cuts him off mid-sentence, saying he didn’t ask him to broadcast it. Outside the office, Gambit takes the stage and points to Joelle saying, “Friends, villains, countrymen. That woman is an agent of the Thieves Guild who took an unsanctioned assignment to rob you all tonight!”
Tombstone hears him and he asks Anaconda to search her. Joelle says this is ridiculous. He’s the thief! Anaconda reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small silver boomerang. She reckons it doesn’t look like hers. Joelle is shocked but soon realizes that Gambit has planted it on her. Outside, things turn ugly and they don’t come much uglier than Tiger Shark. “Tear that chick apart!” he cries as he heads to the room. Gambit finds this a little unexpected. Aren’t they overreacting a little? Joelle kicks Anaconda and then takes down Tiger Shark and a couple of agents of A.I.M. She sarcastically thanks him for saving her from those dangerous psychos. Remy joins in the fight and tells her that in his defense, he expected them to just kick her out. She tells him he’s seen the way these guys dress. What made him think they would have a sense of restraint?
Gambit punches out Puff Adder whilst Joelle kicks Bushmaster in the face. Remy spots Batroc just sitting there having a drink. He says he’s surprised he isn’t jumping in on this. Batroc replies that he only fights when he’s getting paid. He is no mongrel Cajun. Remy replies that he’s just happy to knock a man down ‘cos he has it coming. He kicks Batroc in the jaw and someone snapping the action on their phone exclaims, “This club is the greatest!”
Gambit picks up a baseball bat and a pair of handcuffs and snaps them on Joelle’s wrist. “Sure,” sighs Asp, lustfully. “She gets the handcuffs.” He takes Joelle and gets inside the vault, grabbing Ruby Thursday on the way in. He twists her head and kicks her out. “Get back!” she cries as her head charges up. She warns them once again just before her head explodes. Inside the vault, Remy uses a kinetic charge on the door to keep anyone from getting in and admits that things could have gone a little better. Standing behind him, Tombstone replies that he doesn’t know about that. He got what he wanted. He still has the money and he has the intel. Now he doesn’t need to share the prize with a tramp who meant to steal from him.
Gambit agrees and asks him, in that case, to call of his glamazons and let him handle Joelle on behalf of the Thieves Guild. Tombstone doesn’t think so, especially as he knows he isn’t even with the Thieves Guild these days. They’re both more trouble than they’re worth. Gambit charges up a card or two and asks if he’s sure about that. He hasn’t even seen his card tricks yet. He lets the cards fly randomly which explode upon impact. He legs it with Joelle and blows a hole in the vault wall with a charged chair which leads to the outside of the building. The villains hear sirens coming and decide to run for it. Joelle says she hopes Remy has a plan this time. He replies that he has.
Sitting nearby in a taxi is Fence. A woman tries to get in but he informs her that he was called to pick up specific passengers tonight. Remy and Joelle arrive and Fence grins, gathering from the handcuffs that tonight was ‘Plan B’ kind of night. Remy jokes that he made it a little further down the alphabet than that. But, he’s made his way in and out of enough banks in his time. He knew he’d get them out without a hitch. Through the hole he created in the wall steps Tombstone. He tells Gambit that taking the girls was one thing, but he’s gonna regret taking the rest.
(later)
Gambit and Joelle relax and get changed out of their work clothes. Remy says he won’t dwell on being insulted that she’d trust those folks over him, but now those bridges are burned up, is she ready to talk? Joelle closes her eyes and sighs. She replies that he deliberately destroyed everything she set up and now he’s offering to help her? Remy says it depends on the answers. He wants to start with the memory stick. He asks what it’s really all about. She keeps going to too much trouble for it to be about money. Is she after some kind of revenge? Joelle begins to cry and turns away slightly. He puts a comforting hand on her shoulder and she admits that she has a daughter… and she’s dying.


[User]
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Provide a full summary of the comic book.

[Assistant]
Teeth of the Hydra Upon You
After giving Gambit the bad news about her daughter, Joelle explains that the doctors and their machines are all that are keeping her alive. She is sick of standing around, powerless. The worst thing she can imagine is outliving her own daughter. She’s been after anything that could keep that from happening. She adds that Baron Strucker, before he died, ran a number of projects which he kept hidden, even from the rest of Hydra. This particular outpost was designed to unravel the secrets of life and death. Supposedly… he cracked it. Strucker locked the place down for when he’d need it and ordered all the men who worked on the project killed. However, one of those men survived but he couldn’t handle looking over his shoulder anymore. Shakey opened up when they met him at the club. She was able to convince him to trade her and Tombstone his intel on the base for protection and some start-over money.
Fence looks over the blueprints laid out on the table and comments that perhaps these facts are disproven by the fact that Strucker actually died. Or, replies Joelle, it just means he couldn’t get to it in time. It’s probably the downside of keeping it in the middle of nowhere. Fence tells Remy that he encouraged him to give Joelle a second chance but he didn’t mean for him to get killed. Remy admits that this isn’t ideal, but like he said, the files look legit. Fence tells him he doesn’t really know what’s there. The place could be destroyed. It could be a trap. Remy says he’s right and that’s exactly why he can’t let Joelle go alone.
later:
Remy thinks about how he usually like to keep people at a distance. It’s easier to steal from strangers and also to walk away from them. Once you know somebody’s story… once they get you to care… you’re doomed. The pair of them launch themselves over a steep drop in a large all-terrain vehicle with Remy at the wheel. After driving for a while, Joelle asks him to stop. Remy says he’s going out on a limb but he reckons they’ve arrived. They clamber out of the cabin and look down at the valley below. A large skrull face dominates the area as seen from above. Joelle looks at the sky and reckons a storm is brewing. Should they be worried? Grabbing a rope, Gambit leaps from the ridge and says it always is and he never is.
Joelle follows him down the rope and says that it looks like the coordinates that Shakey was selling were right. Remy corrects her. Firstly, her Hydra defector buddy didn’t get to sell anything and second, he’d appreciate getting credit for a pocket well-picked; especially when that pocket belonged to a cut throat monster like Tombstone. Joelle tells him she will thank him when they make off with what they came for. Remy approaches a doorway wipes some snow from it. Underneath is a skrull face with a keypad on it. Joelle taps in the code she got from Shakey and the door opens. She asks if he’s starting to trust her yet. Remy tells her to ask him that if they make it out alive… together. As they head inside a robotic voice coming over the loudspeaker states that shadow station L126 is online. They have beta security clearance. “Beta?” asks Remy. Joelle asks if that’s bad. Remy reckons that generally once Greek letters get thrown around you want an alpha or sometimes an omega. Either way, being stuck in the middle is just asking for trouble.
Remy looks down and sees a row of snowmobiles. He coos. He’s always wanted to ride one of those. Once they’ve wandered around a little, Joelle checks the map and believes she’s lost where they are. Remy asks her not to worry. All these years of thieving means he is pretty good at memorizing blueprints. He almost became an architect by accident. The heavy duty science was set up through the doors straight ahead. She asks if he needs the codes but he replies that he memorized those, too. He says he could have run this show alone once she’d shown him the rundown, but they’re done pulling fast ones on each other, no?
They enter another room and find dusty doorways where people have been experimented upon. Gambit says it’s just part of the trial and error process. He thinks it’s funny that we all hate the idea of dying but nobody thinks what kinda monster you become when you don’t. He wipes away some dust to reveal the face of one of the unfortunate victims behind the glass. They move on to another doorway. The lights turn red and the loudspeaker states that they have insufficient security clearance. It activates a violation protocol. “L’enfer,” exclaims Remy as glass shatters all around them and the mutates behind it attack. They find themselves surrounded. Remy reckons this seems a little harsh for just wanting a peek at the penthouse.
Baron Von Strucker’s image appears in holographic form and he informs them that whoever they are, he wishes to personally welcome them to their end. The tools that shape the world are not to be wielded by inferior men, but he is glad they made it this far. Their presence means that they are aware that great men can control life and death itself. Now they will die, knowing how far beneath them they truly are. They see a hole open up in the floor and from beneath it emerges a giant mutate, armed to the teeth. It immediately locks into its target, Gambit, and fires. Remy grabs a couple of smaller mutates and uses them as semi-human shields, but he knows they won’t last long under fire.
He leaps and charges up a few cards, unleashing them at the giant. It roars at him as they begin to explode, destroying parts of his armor and weaponry. Joelle shoots at her assailants and tells Gambit that rather than flirting and showboating, would he stop that thing already! As one of the giant creatures’ bullet cartridges glows bright, he asks her to relax. He’s got her covered. The cartridge explodes and takes the others with it, destroying the creature. He then takes down another smaller one by exploding it and re-joins Joelle. He smiles at her and says a fella could almost start to think she liked to start trouble just ‘cause she enjoyed his type of rescue. Joelle looks behind him and reminds him that their attackers still aren’t dead. Gambit grabs her and runs, adding that sometimes the best rescue looks like an escape.
As he pulls her up to some windows, he tells her that windows tend to have a lot less security than doors. As she starts to bang on the window to crack it, one of the creatures grabs a dagger in Remy’s boot. He instantly charges it and as he climbs through the broken pane, the creature is destroyed.
Now the action is over, they find themselves in a new room which contains a cabinet with three vials inside. Remy reckons that if that’s her secret-of-life formula, it could really benefit from a less ominous presentation. It’s sealed tight. It looks like Shakey never had this kind of clearance after all. She asks if he can get at it. Remy informs her that it uses a custom electronic trigger which requires a one-of-a-kind key. He’s guessing that it went the way of Strucker himself. Joelle asks him if he expects her to believe that Remy LeBeau has seen a locking mechanism and didn’t figure out a way around it? She thought they were past all this. She thought he was with her. Remy begins to draw a circle with his finger around the lock, charging it up as he goes. He replies that he’s just reminding her how much harder this would have been without him. As the door swings open, she tells him that she knows and has already promised to thank him once they get out… together. He trusted her so she figures she can trust him to hold onto the canister she removes from of the cabinet. Remy admits that he was ready for her to sucker punch him again.
The loud speaker goes off again, this time stating that the zero protocol has been initiated. Gambit states that in his experience, robot voice in a super villain bunker initiating anything is a good time to make an escape. Joelle looks at the creatures clawing at the open window and knows they aren’t going out the way they came in. Gambit tells her that he memorized the layout, remember? He has a better exit. He charges a card and blows a hole in the floor. They then drop through it straight to where the snowmobiles are sitting. “Oh, you gotta be kidding me,” she sighs. Moments later they are rocketing from the base and into the open air. Once outside Remy looks back expecting the place to blow up which it doesn’t. Joelle says they got what they came for. They don’t need fireworks. She’d just like to go see her little girl.
meanwhile:
Fence contact Remy and tells him to get out of there before the snow storm comes. And… before he stress-eats his way back into fat pants. As he speaks his door is smashed off its hinges. In walks Tombstone flanked by two of his guards. He tells Fence that the word is that he is the man who deals in goods stolen by a certain shin-armor-loving mutant. It just so happens that Gambit stole something from him. Fence backs away and puts his arms up in a defensive manner, explaining that they’re just trying to save Joelle’s daughter. Tombstone pulls out a kitchen knife from its block and asks if he believes that. The girl promised him that the intel led to something which Baron Von Strucker cooked up - the zero compound. It’s a chemical weapon. So... how about he tells him the coordinates of these two lovebirds and he’ll let him know which of them she’s been lying to?
Over at the base, the computer counts down to zero. One of the other vials which Joelle didn’t take empties and is poured over the stations occupants. They are washed away into oblivion but the structure remains unaffected. Nearby, the snowmobile has run out of gas so Gambit and Joelle head off walking. He tells her that the bad news is that they’re not making it to civilization tonight. It’s probably best that they set down before they collapse. Joelle is concerned for her daughter but Remy knows they must survive the night. He needs to get her warm, by any means necessary. He creates a hole in the snow and they soon fall asleep. When the sun rises, Joelle wakes up. “Remy..?” she says. A voice from above tells him that he heard the girl. It’s time to wake up. He opens his eyes to see Rogue standing there looking down at them. “Sugah.”