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[Assistant]
Jump the Shark
Brian Bendis again introduces the story, this time strangling Nick Lowe, the assistant editor for Marvel's Ultimate line.  Nick reveals that it was HE who wanted the silly Spider-Man / Wolverine body switch story, and apologizes, for he didn't know Bendis would try to do it.  Bendis promises that this is the last part of the story.
Midtown High School - Still trapped in Wolverine's body, Peter Parker lies underneath a burning van which has just tumbled over him.   Police officers surround him, demanding that he get out from under the heap slowly, and raise his hands.  Peter complies, though he is covered in blood from the accident - Wolverine's mutant healing factor stitches him up nicely.  Inside the school, students flock to the window, excited because the Wolverine is outside.  Students begin wishing that they were mutants, and that they could be sent home right away.
 Wolverine continues to sit at Peter's desk, gritting his teeth in frustration.  In the parking lot, several officers continue to train their guns on Peter, who holds up his hands, babbling apologies.  Unfortunately, Peter doesn't understand how the claws work, and they pop out just as he raises his hands, drawing ire from the cops.  They demand that he drop his weapons.  Peter insists that they are attached, and he can't do anything, and finally after the police frighten him enough, he moves to lie down on the ground.  Peter attempts to surprise them by getting back up and running away, but he forgets that he isn't in his own body - and thus, isn't fast enough to escape the police tasers.   Wolverine begins beating his head against a tree at the sight of Peter being an idiot with Wolverine's body.
Finally, the police get Peter bundled up for arrest, and put him in a car.  Wolverine rushes out from behind his tree, and tells Peter to get out of the cop car, but Peter feels too much guilt to escape, and lets himself get carted off to prison.  Peter shouts from the window for Wolverine to put on the costume if he has to go out.
In jail, Peter stands dejectedly, not knowing what to do.  An officer hands him a cordless phone, telling him to make his call, but not to make any sudden moves.  Peter makes a collect call to Xavier's school.  Kitty Pryde answers and accepts the charge, asking if it is Logan on the phone.  Peter stutters and tells her that he's Spider-Man.  Kitty giggles, and tells him to say "hi" to the Hulk.  Peter begs her to listen, and tries in vain to tell her the story of how he and Logan somehow managed to wake up in each other's bodies, and now he's in jail and doesn't know what to do.   He begins shouting at Kitty as she laughs, telling Storm to talk to him instead.  However, as Storm picks up the phone, Peter accidentally triggers the claws, cutting the phone in half - and drawing the attention of the guards, who hit him with the tasers again.
In an alleyway, Logan looks through Peter's backpack at the Spider-Man costume.  He complains out loud that he has to wear a costume after all he's been through, and decides not to.  He respects Peter's wishes to conceal his identity, and puts on the mask.   Then, Logan decides to try out Spider-Man's powers, and wonders how he can climb walls.  He tries, and notices that his fingers are sticky when he contacts other surfaces.  Once he climbs a building, Wolverine decides to try web-slinging, figuring it would be faster than walking.   He shoots a web and swings, flying face-first into a building across the street.  He gets up and tries again, but his time, he swings to a dead stop, unable to find momentum.
Back in prison, Peter starts to mutter that jail is quiet.  At that moment, of course, he hears crashing, and sees Spider-Man taking down the guards.  Wolverine beats them up, and tells Peter to pop a claw and break himself out - but Peter was just shot in the face.  He breaks out, but holds his head in agony.   Outside, Peter continues to complain, but Logan grabs the bullet and pulls it out, allowing the wound to heal rapidly.  Wolverine takes off the Spider-Man mask, and they begin to argue over the hell they have been put through all day, with each believing that it is the other's fault.  A siren sounds, and Peter begins climbing down the fire escape, insisting that he has to go.
On the street, Spider-Man and Wolverine find the Shocker carrying bags of money and terrorizing the citizens.  However, on sight, the Shocker stops in his tracks as he is frightened of Spider-Man after being foiled by him twice before.  The heroes continue to argue again, while Shocker stands there in shock.  Finally, after figuring that he can get away, Shocker starts to run - but Wolverine shoots a web in mid-sentence, pulling Shocker back toward him, and Peter hits him in the face hard, knocking the villain out.  Wolverine tries to resume the argument, but notices that everyone is looking up - the X-Men arrive, with Jean hovering the team with telekinesis.  Wolverine stares at Jean, and she flashes him an evil grin.
Jean explains that she is tired of Logan hitting on her.  Peter stares in shock, asking her to repeat herself.  Jean starts lecturing Wolverine's body, then realizes that he is in Spider-Man's body and starts over.  She explains that she wanted to teach him a lesson, so she programmed his mind to go where it wanted to go the least.  Somehow, that ended up being Spider-Man.  Logan demands that she fix it.  Cyclops asks if she even has the ability, and Jean replies that he should just "go with it."  Peter complains that she's ruined his life.  She puts a hand on each of their heads, and reverses what happened, giving each man back his own body.  Peter screams in pain, grabbing his shoulder - Logan apologizes, remembering that he ran into a wall.  Spider-Man flips out on the X-Men:
"God! You know why people hate you?  It's not because you're mutants!  It's because you're a bunch of @#$@#$ $#$%@ ##@$!"
He swings away, screaming in frustration.  Jean looks upset, realizing that she didn't mean to get him caught up in all this, and plans to send him a fruit basket later.  Colossus asks how he could be an "#$@#$@" when he was just standing there.  Cyclops pats Wolverine on the back, and asks how high school was.  Logan smiles cruelly.
Parker home, Queens - Peter finally arrives him, with Mary-Jane sitting on his doorstep waiting for him.   Peter apologizes for how he was acting, as he wasn't himself.  MJ has a goofy grin on her face, and hugs Peter, asking him:
"That thing you tried to do this morning... can we not do that until we're older?"
Peter's jaw drops in shock.


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[Assistant]
untitled
The Xavier Institute’s Danger Room…
Kitty, while dressed in clothes of a princess, finds herself ambushed by a giant, purple dragon. She is so not in the mood for this. The dragon spits fire on her, but Kitty manages to phase herself, thereby surviving the blast. She doesn’t know why she agreed to do this. She doesn’t know why she has to be an X-Man every second of every day. She doesn’t even know for sure anymore if she had a life once.
Nightcrawler and Colossus jump down, dressed in clothes from the Lord of the Rings movie. Kurt shouts at Kitty that she doesn’t need to fear, as he, Legolas, is on his way to the rescue. The dragon simply flies away. Kitty waves the boys goodbye, thinking she is going to do her homework instead. Kurt tries to defend that the forces of doom are on their way. Kitty smiles that’s fine, and leaves. Kurt doesn’t like that, since he programmed the Danger Room so they could do this. Kitty walks away, telling Kurt he looks good when he’s playing geek. Once Kitty is gone, Peter smiles at Kurt, telling him that “cute” is good.
Downtown…
Spider-Man finds himself facing none other than… the Rhino! He is so not in the mood for this. While continuing his battle against the brute, Spidey thinks why he can’t just go home and do his homework. Traffic is one thing, something he can understand. But Peter thinks he really should be able to get across the city without being hit by a guy in an eight-foot tall mechanical rhino-suit. Spidey doesn’t even understand what’s wrong with his enemy this time, as the Rhino doesn’t even banter. Nothing.
Rhino tries to slam his horn into Spidey, but he dodges and the Rhino hits a wall instead. Peter wouldn’t expect an intelligent conversation from a guy who went through the trouble of building a rhino suit in the first place, though the tech design is quite nice. And the science nerd in Peter does have to admire the hydraulic suspension AI technology of the thing. Peter admits he was thinking of putting together some AI hydraulics to test the tensile of the strength in his webbing, but then he realized he doesn’t have a billion dollars.
Spidey goes to sit on Rhino’s head, but he throws Peter off it, and throws him towards the watching crowd! They run away, and Spidey falls through a window and lands into an office building. He soon gets up again, and takes a look outside. The army has arrived, but Peter jokes that he probably has to save them now as well. Peter picks up a stick, and goes to sit back on Rhino’s back. He manages to lift up a hatch in Rhino’s suit, and a little, green device is revealed. Spidey puts the stick on it, and the device explodes!
Spidey falls back, and watches how Rhino’s suit continues to explode, and how his adversary eventually collapses. After getting up again, Spidey asks one of the soldiers what those things were. The soldiers ask Spidey if he’s all right, and explains that the Rhino stole one of their prototype machines. A general cuts in, silencing the soldier. He wants to bring Spidey in for some questioning. Uninterested, Spidey simply webslings away.
The Xavier Institute…
The X-Men are having a barbeque. Kitty takes a good look around, and notices all of her teammates having fun, and she hasn’t anyone. She thinks that she is the loser of the school. A group of misfit mutants, and Kitty finds it sarcastic that she is the loser. Even Wolverine is there, and she is still the one. Kitty takes a look at Iceman, who’s talking to Kurt, having fun. Kitty wanted that Bobby at least acted like he misses her. She has had enough, and phases through her chair, out of sight. Storm just wanted to ask Kitty if she wanted some potatoes, but Kitty is already gone.
Midtown High…
Peter sits alone in the big cafeteria. He thinks he’s the loser of the school. He can’t believe that it’s actually him. He is the one that doesn’t fit in, of all these people. He wonders what would happen if he stood up and told everyone that he actually was Spider-Man. The guy who saved the school from the Green Goblin. He even met Captain America. They even made a movie about Spider-Man and he knows that everyone went to see it.
Peter wonders if all the girls would think he was cute if he told them he was Spidey. But even then, Peter knows that he can’t have a girlfriend, fearing that she could die some day because of one of his battles. Peter notices Mary Jane entering the cafeteria, and goes to sit next to a boy. MJ notices Peter as well, who simply gets up and walks away.
The Xavier Institute…
Kitty sits depressed on the school stairs; not far from her sits Storm, watching at the boys playing basketball. Jean walks up to Kitty, asking if she’s all right. Kitty tries to apologize, but Jean stops her, already noticing that Kitty needs a boyfriend. Kitty confirms. Jean is confident that Kitty will find someone. Kitty isn’t so sure, as it’s just them in the house, and almost everyone they meet wants to kill them. Jean understands.
Kitty calls Bobby a jerk. Jean doesn’t agree. Kitty corrects that Bobby is a jerk for not liking her anymore. Jean knows that isn’t true, and that Kitty doesn’t even like Bobby. Sad, Kitty corrects that she liked the fact that Bobby liked her. Jean doesn’t think that’s right, but so does Kitty. They quietly look at each other. Jean doesn’t like the thought in Kitty’s mind. Kitty replies that she likes him so much, and defends that Jean just read her mind without permission. Jean corrects that she didn’t, as the idea lay at the top of Kitty’s brain.
Kitty wants to know why it isn’t a good idea. Jean mentions that, for starters, Kitty doesn’t even know the guy. Kitty defends that she loves him so much. Jean reminds her that it’s just a guy in a costume, and tells Kitty that she doesn’t even know him. Kitty sees him more than that: it’s a good and besides cute guy in a costume. Kitty remembers that they’ve met the guy before, and that Jean talked into his mind before and knows if it’s a good guy. But Jean doesn’t want to say. Kitty just wants to talk to him.
Peter Parker’s basement…
Peter is back home and, even though it’s just four minutes later, he has already found a website that covers his battle with Rhino, and once again it turns out that Spidey is one of the bad guys. Suddenly, the phone rings. Peter picks up. It’s Kitty! But Jean and Storm are standing with her, and laugh. Not hearing anyone responding, Peter hangs up.
The phone goes again, and Kitty introduces herself. Peter is confused. Kitty asks Peter if he remembers her. He wants to know how Kitty got his phone number. Kitty explains she got it from Information. Peter understands. Kitty apologizes for calling out of the blue like this, but she just wanted to… she hesitates. Not hearing anything, Peter calls out to her. Kitty continues the conversation by asking Peter if he’s doing anything tomorrow after school and if he wants to hang out with her afterwards. Peter wonders if something’s wrong with Wolverine again. Kitty mentions that everything’s fine with him, she just wants to know if Peter wants to hang out with her.
Peter still doesn’t understand, thinking Kitty asks him if he wants to hang out with the X-Men. Kitty hesitates for a while, but corrects and asks Peter if he wants to hang out, just with her. Peter is overjoyed, and of course he wants to have some fun. Kitty asks Peter if he’s got a girlfriend. Peter denies that, but Kitty doesn’t believe him at first. Peter explains that he used to have a girlfriend, but not anymore.
Kitty apologizes for asking it like this, but Peter understands. H asks Kitty not to show up in costume, because he had some pretty close calls and some people almost discovered his identity. Kitty understands, as she was in those moments a few times. They agree to meet after school outside the building at 3:30, and Peter finishes the conversation by thanking Kitty to call him, telling her that it was a pretty cool thing to do.
They both hang up, and smile. Peter searches the web looking for information about the X-Men, and finds a website with a picture of Kitty in her Shadowcat uniform. Peter takes a closer look at it, and smiles.
The next day, Midtown high, 3:30…
Peter walks out of the building, and immediately looks for Kitty. She notices him, and waves to him. Peter smiles. He is surprised that she showed up. Kitty takes a look around, and jokes that she has only been there four seconds at the high school and already hates everyone. Peter jokes that Kitty has now already learned everything she’ll ever learn in high school. Peter asks Kitty if there’s a plan for this evening. Kitty denies that, and asks Peter where people here usually go hang out after school.
A few minutes later, at the mall…
Kitty and Peter go sit in a fast-food restaurant, and Kitty is thrilled to have a corn dog on a stick. Peter jokes that it’s a modern achievement. Kitty jokes that whenever mutants take over the Earth, the human who invented these will be spared. Peter doesn’t know what to answer to that, and Kitty mentions that she was just kidding. Peter wants to know if the X-Men are taking over the world. Kitty promises that she was only joking, and that the X-Men are really the good guys who want peace. Peter corrects that Kitty might want to watch out when she’s making jokes like that.
Peter wants to know what all this is about anyway. Kitty defends that, though they save the world all the time, she actually has no friends at all. Peter mentions that he hasn’t got any either. He tells Kitty about Johnny Storm from the Fantastic Four, who also doesn’t have any friends. Johnny told Peter this himself.
Flash Thompson and Kong show up, and punch Peter on his shoulder. While Kong laughs, Flash apologizes to Kitty, as he hadn’t seen her. Kitty tells Peter that he could wipe the floor with those guys if he wanted to. Peter knows that, but mentions that he can’t do that because, if he did, his secret identity would certainly be lost.
Kitty is surprised that Peter’s Spider-Man identity is actually a secret, and wonders why Peter doesn’t go public and live the good live. Peter fears that if he does that, a price tag would immediately be put onto his head. Kitty responds that it might not happen that way. Peter explains that it’s already happening: people hate Spider-Man, and they don’t even know who he is. He mentions to Kitty his aunt May, who is raising him, and he can’t risk putting her in danger. He would be selfish if he would go public. There are already too many people who know about his secret identity, and that’s also the reason why he had to break up with his girlfriend.
Peter wants to go deeper in it, but stops. Kitty is curious and asks Peter to go on. Peter doesn’t want to, knowing he’s whining. And he keeps hearing a little voice in his head telling him to stop it. Kitty doesn’t mind, and jokes that Peter should tell the little voice to shut up, as she’s interested. Peter understands, but before he can even start, Kitty asks Peter if his ex knew his identity. Peter confirms that, but adds that she wasn’t very careful about it and almost ended up killed. He couldn’t handle the responsibility, and broke up because MJ didn’t listen to what he said to keep her safe.
Kitty is surprised. Peter asks about Kitty’s situation. Kitty asks Peter if he knows Iceman. He does. Kitty mentions that they almost sort of… but then he ended up being a jerk and now she has to live with him in a house. Peter is sorry. Kitty too, and thinks about normal people who break up, who at least can avoid each other. Peter adds that he still sees MJ every day in his class. Kitty understands, but at least Peter can go home afterwards and forget about her, and she can’t.
Suddenly, food and filth gets thrown on the table! Peter and Kitty turn around, and notice Flash and Kong laughing at them. Kitty asks Peter if they can go somewhere where those guys can’t be. Peter confirms that they can.
A few minutes later…
Peter has brought Kitty up to the roof. She thinks it’s cool, and is okay with the wind as it phases right through her. They go to the end of the roof, and take a look at the magnificent city lying in front of her. Peter notices Kitty staring at the Triskelion, and mentions that’s where the Ultimates live. Kitty jokes that she doesn’t like Nick Fury very much. Peter smiles. Kitty apologizes, but really thinks so. Peter agrees. He mentions that he clocked Fury once a couple of weeks ago. Kitty laughs, and wants to know why. Peter jokes that it was because Fury was being a jerk.
Kitty remains silent for a while. Kitty asks if Peter truly meant what he said before, and that he can’t date anyone. Peter doesn’t think he can, because he can’t protect the person from danger. Kitty asks what if the person had mutant powers and could take care of herself. Peter thinks about it, but Kitty pulls back. She feels stupid, and tells Peter to forget about it, and phases through the floor! She lands into the sewers, and runs for it, calling herself an idiot.
Peter is confused, and calls out to Kitty.
Meanwhile, she stops running. She realizes she fought and survived a battle with Magneto, so what’s her damage? She phases back upstairs to the roof, and Peter is still there. He asks if he should leave. Peter asks if she’s all right, and Kitty apologizes for being so forwarded. Peter helps her up, claiming that it was an interesting point and isn’t freaked out. Kitty thinks she’s a spaz. Peter doesn’t think so, and tells Kitty’s she’s quirky. Kitty doesn’t know that word. Peter thinks it’s French for “cute,” Kitty smiles that “cute” is good. Peter agrees. Kitty closes her eyes, and she and Peter almost kiss!
Suddenly, an explosion is heard. They look down and see a lot of smoke. Peter wants to go check it out, and pulls out his clothes and prepares to put on his Spider-Man costume. He asks Kitty if she’ll wait. Kitty doesn’t want to and wants to help out instead. Peter refuses, not wanting Kitty to get hurt. Kitty phases through Peter’s stomach, quoting that she can’t get hurt. Peter realizes his mistake. He picks Kitty up, and webslings into action with her.
Downstairs, the Shocker is robbing a bank. He defeats some police officers, and isn’t joking this time: he will escape. Kitty lands, joking to Shocker that he does look a little funny. Shocker uses his vibrators on her, but the shockwaves go right through Kitty. He’s startled. While Kitty jokes, Spidey sneaks up behind Shocker, waiting for the right moment. Kitty continues to demonstrate her powers, and phases through Shocker’s weapons, electrocuting and damaging them in the process. He panics. Kitty tells Shocker that, whatever he does, he shouldn’t look behind him.
Shocker does anyway, and freaks out when he recognizes Spider-Man. Spidey sarcastically says “hi” to Herman. He runs away, but Peter quickly makes a web net in front of the Shocker, trapping him inside. A lot of people step forward, and Kitty proudly presents… the amazing Spider-Man! The entire crowd starts happily clapping their hands. Peter picks Kitty up, and webslings away with her. Kitty smiles, and Peter looks at her.
They land on a roof, and Kitty jokes that “Indiana Jones certainly hasn’t forgotten how to show a girl a good time.” Peter jokes back that Kitty sure is “something.” She smiles. They continue joking, but then Kitty’s beeper goes off. It’s her ride home. They look up, and notice the X-Wing hanging above their heads.
The plane starts beaming Kitty up. Peter feels sorry to see her leave, and asks Kitty if he can call her. She totally agrees with that, and asks Peter to better e-mail her, because the Professor hates it when people call after ten. Peter wants to do this again, and Kitty agrees. Suddenly, Kitty tells Jean to shut up, who’s saying something telepathically in her mind.
Kitty asks Peter what his schedule is like. It sucks. Kitty’s does too. Peter mentions that he works in the weekends on Saturday, and that’s it. Kitty asks Peter if he wants to do something Saturday night. He’d love to. Kitty takes out a pen, and writes her phone number and e-mail address on Peter’s arm. However, she doesn’t want to push things. Peter doesn’t mind, and really wants it. Kitty mentions that the only reason she won’t be available is when they’re out saving the world, but the same goes for Peter.
Kitty asks Peter if he wanted to kiss her earlier. Peter kind of wanted to. Kitty doesn’t want him to think she didn’t. Peter stops her, and… they kiss!!!
They smile at each other, and the X-Wing teleports Kitty on board. Peter watches her leaving, and returns home. Once home, he is thrilled, and for once doesn’t want to screw this up and e-mail Kitty immediately. However, the computer warns Peter that he’s got mail. He opens it, and notices that Kitty already send him a message! He starts reading it, and smiles.
Back at the Xavier Institute, Kitty sits smiling in her room, and she and Peter start chatting with each other.


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[Assistant]
Silver Sable: part 1
One month ago…
A yellow truck, labeled with the logo “Damage Control” arrives on a now destroyed battlefield in the middle of the city. The members of Damage Control, Thunderball, Wrecker, Piledriver & Bulldozer proudly step out. Piledriver wants to know if anyone has called for a cleanup. A man steps forward, introducing himself as Jermaine Exum. He was the guy that called Damage Control, as instructed by the insurance people. But, Jermaine didn’t even know Damage Control existed. Thunderball jokes that they are in the book, and wants to know what happened.
Jermaine explains that they were expecting a cargo ship to dock and that it was there on schedule. But, when it got here, the ship exploded! The incident occurred near a Roxxon office, and Jermaine saw it all happen, just like lots of other people. As the flames disappeared a bit, a triumphant villain could be seen. Omega Red shouted he made a nice entrance and, while twirling his coils around, ordered all of the “Homo sapiens” to raise their hands. He even asked for a volunteer who could announce later to the media that he was the one who ripped the place apart.
The ship’s captain had survived the blast and wasn’t happy his ship got destroyed. He started shouting names at Omega Red, though the mutant remained unimpressed. However, he did warn the captain not to make it so personal, smiling there isn’t a chance he would survive their battle. As Omega Red wanted to use his coils to attack, Spider-Man held them back with his webbing! He attacked the villain, singing the theme to the “Love Boat."
Omega Red fell down, but soon got up again. He couldn’t believe he got sideswiped like that. Spidey jokes he can’t believe he and Omega Red wore almost the same outfit today, thinking that would be embarrassing. Omega Red angrily grabs Spider-Man’s webs and pushes the webslinger towards him, joking that he had thought the hero would have been taller. Omega Red wondered if Spider-Man was twelve years old. The hero kept making jokes, making the villain angrier and tossing the hero into the air. He wanted to go over to killing some people now and reached out to Jermaine.
While being grabbed to his clothes by Omega Red, Jermaine was confused when the villain remarked that his “boss” sure knew how to make people tick. Omega Red also loved the idea that the people didn’t even knew what they were dying for. Spider-Man, in the meantime, managed to shoot his web at some construction materials and ricocheted himself towards Omega Red!
Spidey slammed Omega Red against a truck, making him dizzy for a while and still not able to coup that he’s being defeated by what he thinks is just a kid. Spider-Man shouted that he would ask Omega Red one last time what he was doing here, but he didn’t care anymore. Jermaine saw Spidey pick up a giant truck, and tossed it on Omega Red, who was now finally defeated.
Damage Control writes down the name of Omega Red and wants to know what happened to Spider-Man afterwards. Jermaine reveals that, as soon as the cops showed up, Spider-Man up and left. He heard some cops calling SHIELD and they took Omega Red away in a big, round thing. Thunderball believes it must have been a Stark 554, which is an alpha wave power neutralizer. Jermaine is still amazed that Omega Red was even alive after such a beating. Thunderball orders Jermaine and everyone else of the spectators around to clear the area, as they are going to sweep it for toxins.
They explain they do it because Omega Red is a mutant assassin who might have sprayed people with any number of things, but they have got nothing to worry about.
Jermaine is glad that at least it won’t cost anything, since his insurance is paid up. He asks Damage Control if they have seen anything worse than this. They have, and asks Jermaine if he saw what the Hulk did downtown. Jermaine did but thought it was a hoax.
As they talk, a mysterious silver-haired woman is eavesdropping at them, and videotaping the conversation. She reports the events back to her boss, Mr. Roxxon, who has noticed Spider-Man is involved. Roxxon realizes this is the second time in a month Spider-Man ruined one of his operations. He wants to know what happened to Omega Red. Sable explains he was taken into SHIELD custody, meaning even she can’t get near to him. Roxxon wants to talk to Spider-Man, suspecting he knows who’s after his companies and orders the woman to get him for him. The woman will need her team for it, and it will cost Roxxon. He doesn’t care about it and orders the woman to go for it.
Two weeks ago…
Powell contacts his teammate, Chen, who has been standing on a rooftop for two weeks now looking for Spider-Man. Chen explains he didn’t report back in at the top of the hour because he didn’t have anything to report, and because he is barely getting paid. Powell jokes that that’s the life of a freelance, but that still means Chen has to do as told. Silver Sable orders Powell to go on radio silence now. Chen wants to know why Sable wants Spider-Man so badly, because she could just go watch the movie they made about him if she wanted to see the guy. Powell asks Chen if he liked that movie, and he admits he kind of did.
Sable tells her men to shut up, but Chen finally spots Spider-Man webslinging through the air! And Spidey doesn’t even notice Chen. Chen immediately reports it to his boss, and that Spidey seems to be heading towards Queens borough. Sable orders Quentino to start his helicopter and to follow their suspect. Quentino does as told and follows Spider-Man to Queens, asking her base if anyone knows it. Powell confirms he does, as he grew up there, like in Forest Hills. Suddenly, Spidey jumps on the ground and Quentino loses sight of him, panicking. Unsure what to do next, Quentino just continues her search.
Below them, Peter Parker simply walks home.
One week ago…
Chen is scouting the area with his binoculars, staring at the local high school. He spots Spider-Man webslinging away and finds it surprising he apparently came from the school.
Today…
Powell and Chen are still staring at the school, hoping to find Spider-Man. Powell stares at Mary Jane, thinking she’s beautiful. Chen jokes his partner needs some structure in his life. Chen wonders if Spider-Man is a high-school teacher or student. They spot Spider-Man again and that he lands near the dumpsters. They report this to Silver Sable, who orders her men to take him. They do as told, and apparently manage to sneak up on Spidey and electrocute him, knocking him out!
Later at their base, Silver Sable and her Wild Pack have bound “Spider-Man” to a chair. Chen gives his wallet to Sable who can’t believe the guy’s only sixteen years old. Powell wants to videotape their success, but Sable orders him not to, as they are basically kidnapping someone and can’t have that out in the media. Sable wants to know where the Spider-Man costume is, but the Pack didn’t bring out because she didn’t order them to. Sable gets a little upset about that, and orders to use quick salt to wake their prisoner up.
After doing that, the prisoner wakes up, but… it’s Flash and not Peter! Not realizing she made a mistake, Sable tries to explain to him that he isn’t in danger and that her boss simply wants to talk to Spider-Man. Flash tries to explain he isn’t Spider-Man and that he just goes to high school. Sable still doesn’t believe it, thinking “Spider-Man” is trying to cover up his secret identity. She can respect that but promises there isn’t any need. Flash starts to cry a little, keeping up that he isn’t Spider-Man. Sable tries to suspect something, and orders her men to cut him lose and make him stand up. They do.
Silver Sable kicks Flash into his face, and finally realizes they aren’t dealing with the real Spider-Man.


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Provide a full summary of the comic book.

[Assistant]
Silver Sable: part 3 (1st story) - Visions: part 5 (2nd story)
1st story: Chen, standing and scouting the school on a nearby rooftop, thinks they are in deep trouble. He reports to Silver Sable that the media are all over the school, and is uncertain how they are supposed to find Spider-Man now. Sitting in their van, Powell and Quentino ask themselves the very same question. Sable watches the news, and hears the principal of the school, suggesting that they’ll hold a parent meeting on how to properly deal with the situation. Sable admits she isn’t sure how to act yet, but is thinking about it.
At school, police officers hold a random bag check and hold Peter, wanting to see his bag. Peter is shocked, afraid they’ll find his Spider-Man costume inside. The officer asks Peter if there’s something Peter wants to report, and starts opening the bag. On that very moment, a fake Spider-Man rushes into the school, claiming he is the real one and will answer any questions asked. But first, since he can’t wait any longer, he wants to reveal his true identity to the world. He takes off his mask, and reveals himself to be… Mark Raxton! Mark smiles that he also plays guitar at the at this point unsigned band, Molten Man, and that they will be playing at the Romita Friday night.
As the police officers go hold Raxton down, Peter decides to take advantage of the situation and runs away, outside. He jumps to the roof, but notices a helicopter flying over, suspecting those are the people who kidnapped Flash and are looking for him. He realizes he can’t be there right now. Peter runs to a back alley, where he starts think things over. He fears that he’s finally done now. Harry is gone and Gwen is dead. The school is under siege and his classmates end up kidnapped because of him. He can’t believe how stupid he is, bringing a bag full of costume to the school. He starts thinking about Aunt May, feeling lucky she isn’t dead yet. He thinks it’s time he stops being a baby and to bite the bullet.
He goes to May’s office. She freaks out when she sees her nephew, wanting to know why he isn’t at school, suspecting he got kicked out. Peter remains silent, handing over his school bag to May, who’s unsure what to do about it. Hesitant, Peter speaks out Spider-Man’s name. Peter explains about the situation with Flash, how he got kidnapped at his school grounds because of Spider-Man being a student there. Peter tells her the trail leads towards him.
May thinks about it for a while, mentioning she was wondering when they were going to talk about Spider-Man. May calls Spider-Man a horrible person, and a coward as well because he wears a mask. The one moment, he’s helping people, the next he’s hurting them. Thinking about Spider-Man makes May’s skin crawl. She tells Peter that she has a therapist she goes to talk to, every week once during lunch.
Peter didn’t even know his aunt went to a therapist. May defends that, after the death of Ben, Gwen and the whole situation with Gwen’s father, it got a little too much for her sometimes. And she thinks it’s getting to Peter as well. May explains to Peter that, even before this day, she knows he has been cutting class reluctantly. She has been cutting him some slack because she knows he is only trying to find his place into the world, but also thinks Peter is having an anxiety attack.
May admits that, if she knew about the whole Flash thing, she would have yanked Peter out of school herself, because he isn’t going to learn anything there today. But she wants Peter to know that Spider-Man isn’t part of their lives and won’t hurt him. She wants Peter to promise her he’ll think about visiting her therapist. He promises he’ll think about it.
Later, at home, Peter calls to Kitty and tells her what happened, with Flash and his aunt. Kitty believes it’s for the best Peter chickened out and that it’s not the right time yet to tell her about his identity as Spider-Man. Peter isn’t sure what a good time would be to tell his aunt about that: when a SWAT team breaks in and arrests him?
Kitty jokes that she doesn’t see a reason why SWAT would be arresting him. Peter doesn’t see one either, he’s just saying. Kitty tells Peter he’ll know it for himself when it’s the right time to tell her. Peter laughs at that. Kitty explains that she didn’t tell her mother she was a mutant for like a whole year. And she told her mom this fact by accidentally phasing through the ceiling. And her mom lived through it all, and is dealing with it.
Peter is angry that his aunt hates Spider-Man. She’s his whole family and she hates him. Kitty is confident she’ll change her mind once she knows who Spider-Man is. Peter dislikes this entire situation. He believes he should just tell her and get it over with. Kitty thinks that the right time for Peter to tell his aunt he is Spider-Man is when he saves the entire planet from a giant Earth-eating creature, and that everyone will love him when that happens. Peter thinks he should just throw his costume into the garbage, but he realizes he tried that once and that it didn’t work out. Kitty thinks that Peter should just take the fight to his enemies.
At the Xavier Institute, Iceman enters Kitty’s room without knocking. He tries to fake it was an accident, causing Kitty to get upset. She tosses Bobby out. Peter asks Kitty what she means with “take the fight to them.” Kitty believes that Peter has to go look for the kidnappers, thinking it can’t be too hard since they are looking for him. Peter remembers that, joking, he almost glazed over the fact that someone is trying to kidnap him. Kitty asks Peter if he knows anyone who can help him find the kidnappers. She hears Bobby still eavesdropping on her door. She phases one arm through it, and punches Bobby into his face! Peter starts thinking about Kitty’s suggestion.
At Flash’s home, he and his father receive a visit from an agent, who explains to them they can earn a hundred thousand dollars if Flash tells his kidnapping story again. Flash thinks it’s a lot of money, but his dad is disappointed, as he thought he would make a million dollars out of it. The agent tries to explain to Flash’s father that he’s thinking about movies: this is TV. And he suggests that he’d better grab what he can, because it will all be yesterday’s news pretty soon. Flash tries to convince his dad to take the money, but he tells Flash to shut up, as the grown-ups are talking. Flash angrily leaves, mocking that ten thousand dollars is still a lot more than his dad earns.
Flash goes to his room, where… Spider-Man is waiting for him! Flash is about to scream, but Spidey sticks some webbing onto his mouth. He apologizes for the kidnapping, but wants to know everything Flash saw and where the kidnapper’s base was (after the webbing dissolves, of course).
Later that night, Peter makes it to the warehouse, where Silver Sable and her team were holding Flash. He wonders what he could have possibly done wrong for people wanting to kidnap him. But he remembers Kitty’s suggestion, hoping that he and the kidnappers could maybe talk about the whole thing. Suddenly, Spidey’s spider-sense goes off wild! He turns around, and just in time grabs a spear that was about to hit him! Chen steps out of the shadows, depressed that he missed. He takes out a gun, but Spidey quickly reacts and kicks him down.
Quentino jumps in action but, thanks to his spider-powers, Spider-Man is able to dodge all of her moves. He kicks her against a wall, and throws some webbing at Quentino, trapping her inside it. He throws Chen in the webbing as well. Powell attacks as well, but Spidey has no trouble dealing with him and throws him in the big web as well. Spidey jokes he found more of a challenge when he fought Kraven the Hunter. Silver Sable steps out of the shadows, explaining that someone hired them just so he could talk to Spidey and that they aren’t trying to hurt him. Spidey calls them all idiots, and traps Sable into some webs as well.
Peter angrily shouts at them that they all suck, except for Silver Sable whom he gives credits for the original hairstyle. But he thinks they are better equipped to fight someone in the lines of Ant-Man. He takes out his cell, joking he’ll call the police himself and that they will have to sit in a cell next to Omega Red for the rest of their lives. Silver Sable again tries to explain that they are just trying to get Spidey to talk to their boss, and are not trying to hurt him in any way. Peter asks if Silver’s boss could possibly be Kelly Ripa. Sable denies that and Peter jokes he isn’t interested then. Suddenly, his spider-sense goes off again.
Spidey picks up Sable mobile phone… which suddenly proves to be a trap, as it provides a massive electrical shock, knocking him out! With Spider-Man down, Quentino wonders aloud what an “Ant Man” is. Sable orders Chen to cut them lose, as she wants to wrap this up by tonight. Chen apologizes, but he left his knife in the van.
2nd story: Vision is surrounded by very bright lights. Sam wants to know what they are for. Vision reveals that she is simply trying to read every book and every word Earth has to offer. She mentions that she is tuning into every thought and conversation for a hint how they could stop the coming of Gah Lak Tus. Vision is impressed by the human race. They are so new, yet so clever. Their exponential learning curve is like nothing she has ever encountered before.
She asks Sam if he realizes that humanity has made more advances in the last five decades than in the previous five billions years combined. Vision finds that incredible. She admits it was wise of the humans to keep the threat of Gah Lak Tus a secret, and instead only told those with the skills and personality to help them. Vision likes these people. Their compassion is enormous. For all their intelligence, they have yet to forget what they are fighting for.
At the Baxter Building, Reed Richards and Susan Storm are trying to find a solution with the rest of the intelligent Think Tank members.
Vision can see pride swallowed, axes buried, hope and strength that’s almost beyond measure.
Beneath the Triskelion, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch are talking to their “father” Magneto. Elsewhere, Captain America is in a church, praying things will end well.
Vision can see everything, and understand why the humans would do anything to preserve themselves. She can see mankind’s music and art, literature and laughter. She can see their kindness, their beauty, and all of their secret passions.
At the Xavier Institute, Jean walks over to Wolverine and wonders how he can meditate at a time like this. Logan explains that’s because he isn’t afraid to die. In fact, God’s honest truth, he thinks it has been a long time coming. He asks Jean if she came down there for anything in particular. Jean explains she was just thinking. She believes that, if these dreams she has been having are correct, if all these visions of total extinction are completely on the money, she doesn’t want to die wishing there was something she’d said to the people who... really matter.
Logan stops Jean, not wanting her to say another word. Jean doesn’t know what he is talking about. Logan just doesn’t want Jean to say anything she’ll regret later.
Vision records it all, glad she can see everything…


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Silver Sable: part 5
Spider-Man confronts the Vulture. They begin their battle in the high sky, but the Vulture keeps dodging Spidey’s webs. Spidey notices that the Vulture is actually trying to escape, but won’t allow that to happen, and follows him.
Meanwhile, close by, Sharon Carter reports on the secure D-Sac Secure Beta line to her boss, Nick Fury. As ordered, she is standing across the street from Roxxon Industries and has full view of the ongoing battle between Spider-Man and the Vulture. This is the first time Sharon has met the villain, so she can’t honesty say if he’s a mutant or not. And as ordered, she is observing the battle, but not interfering with it. She reports she’s going over to full cloak ability now, and turns invisible. Fury reads her loud and clear and wants to know what’s going on. Sharon reports that Spider-Man is actually fighting a skinny bald guy in a bird suit.
Tony Stark, standing next to Fury at the Triskelion, laughs at that last sentence. He wants to go get his Iron Man armor. Fury tells him not to, as he wants to see how this battle goes first. He asks for footage, so Sharon sends it in.
Meanwhile, Chen, Powell and Quentino want to get out of the battlefield, but Silver Sable has another idea. She points her gun towards Spider-Man and the Vulture. The Vulture throws some grenades at Spidey, who catches them with his webs before they hit the city below them. However, the grenades explode nonetheless. Luckily, Spidey manages to jump into safety. Sharon gets a clear shot on the Vulture, due to the light coming off from the explosion. She sends it to the SHIELD computers, who identify the villain as Blackie Drago.
The Vulture flies back towards the still caught in webs Roxxon, who begs for his life, but the Vulture ignores that. Spider-Man tries to make it back to the Vulture by jumping across some buildings, and doesn’t notice Sable has a lock on them both, but waits for the right moment to shoot. As Spidey attacks the Vulture again, she fires her gun, but the bullet misses them both. Roxxon panics. Sharon thinks she should interfere, but Fury asks her to hold on, recognizing Drago as an ex-SHIELD agent. Tony didn’t even know one could become an “ex-SHIELD agent,” as he thought the contract was for life. Fury claims it’s possible to become an ex-agent, though it isn’t easy.
Tony wants to go suit up, remembering Fury it will only take fifteen seconds. Fury orders Stark not to do that, claiming he is testing Parker. Tony doesn’t like that idea, believing Peter has already gone through enough and has the skills to become a fine agent. Fury smiles he isn’t testing Parker for that.
Spider-Man punches the Vulture again, wishing he could go for one week without having to face someone who wants to blow him up. The Vulture smiles it’s nice to have a dream, and fires blades from his wings at Peter! Spidey dodges them all, though he wishes that the Vulture would go back to using his grenades. Sharon jokes to Fury that she wants one of the Vulture’s suits for her birthday, as they are cool. They are very similar to the Falcon suit Sam Wilson wears. Tony also wants to know who made the Vulture’s suit. Fury orders Sharon to keep an eye on Sable and her group, making Tony wanting to know who Silver Sable is. Fury claims that it’s a whole thing.
Meanwhile, Roxxon is contacted on his cell phone. He answers it, and begs for help. The caller laughs that it’s perfect that Roxxon is actually crying. Roxxon is confused at this, not knowing who’s calling him. Elsewhere, Sharon picks up the call and warns Fury about it, but he is already aware of it. He quickly gets busy trying to trace it.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man continues to battle the Vulture, but he really gives him a hard time.
The Vulture chases Spider-Man, who webslings away, joking that he should be the one chasing the Vulture. As this happens, the caller continues to laugh at Roxxon, saying that it’s true what he heard, and that Roxxon is truly dumb. Roxxon still hasn’t a single clue who’s calling him.
Tony is surprised that the mysterious caller is actually contacting Roxxon, and doesn’t understand why he is doing that. The caller claims that he’s torn, because destroying Roxxon and his company at every turn should be good enough. The caller knows that it should be. But the truth is, when all is said and done, the caller really does want Roxxon to know who’s responsible for the destruction. The caller at least wants Roxxon to hear his voice.
Tony and Fury eavesdrop on the conversation, and Tony is glad to have his answer. Scientists inform Fury that they are busy triangulating the call, but Fury claims they already got it. Tony asks if he can suit up now. Fury smiles to Tony that of course he can.
Roxxon still doesn’t understand. The caller thinks that’s only natural, because Roxxon doesn’t seem to understand anything. He doesn’t believe that Roxxon really knows what he’s doing for a living, or what his company does or what his name stands for. The caller believes that Roxxon is just a puppet without a puppeteer. Meanwhile, Silver Sable’s group wants to call it a day. She’s not happy about it.
The Vulture grabs Spider-Man by his neck, who screams in pain. The Vulture is surprised to hear the scream, believing his enemy must be twelve years old or something. Sharon finally gets a clear shot on the Vulture and takes it! The Vulture’s jet-pack gets hit, and it breaks apart, causing him to fall down. Spidey shoots his webs at the villain, finding it ironic that now he has to rescue the guy.
Roxxon asks the mysterious caller what he wants so he can give it to him. The caller claims that he’ll be getting what he wants alright. He mentions to Roxxon that his business is falling apart around him. Roxxon isn’t even sure if he’ll live or die. And that will never end. The caller claims that, even after the moment Roxxon puts a gun into his mouth and fires it, he’ll still come after him. The caller even claims that he’ll go after all of Roxxon’s relatives who wear the same name. Roxxon demands to know who he’s talking to. Elsewhere, the call is traced to Jersey, and Fury orders a team to move over there.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man just in time brings himself and the Vulture into safety before they hit the surface below them. Spidey mentions that this doesn’t mean he suddenly likes the bird-man. The Vulture warns Spider-Man to get off of him, but Spidey ignores that. Instead, he hops onto the Vultures back, and kicks him against a giant, golden statue. He then traps the villain against it using his webs, and is glad the battle is finally over.
While some bystanders gasp about what just happened, Spidey takes a few moments to gather his breath. He suddenly remembers about Roxxon, and hopes the guy didn’t fall down and die or anything. Once he makes it back to the building he taped Roxxon onto, he notices that his webs were cut down and that Roxxon managed to escape. Spider-Man hates the idea that he doesn’t know what this was all about, and that he’ll probably never find out about it. He leaves, remembering he still has some geometry homework left to do.
Meanwhile, in Jersey…
Iron Man, Fury and some soldiers break into the house of the mysterious caller. Knowing he’s caught, the mystery man gives up, admitting he thought he bounced the trace. Fury ironically mentions they know how to work past that. He asks the guy if he’s some sort of inventor or something. The man claims that he “tinkers.”
Fury is then informed that the Vulture has been apprehended. Fury tells his men to make sure the suit isn’t booby-trapped before they remove it but the mystery caller claims that the suit isn’t. Fury recognizes the caller as Elijah Stern, who used to work for the R and D department of the Roxxon company. Roxxon fired Stern because he had a temper tantrum. Stern demands a lawyer first. An angry Fury tells Stern that he needs a vast amount of therapy first.
Stern claims that Roxxon fired him right after he gave him the future. Stern claims he figured out how to use vibranium as an unlimited power source. He sent Roxxon the prospects and they in return shut down his department. They downsized him on the birth of a new technological millennium. He claims that Roxxon is a dumb fool. The future of the world was in their hands, and Stern claims that Roxxon screwed him so he screwed him back. Stern bets that he did it pretty well too, and that Roxxon will now leave the country and kill himself with pills.
Tony wants to know how, if Stern got himself fired, he could afford all the suits he sees hanging around in the room. And he wants to know how Stern can afford goons who put themselves into the suits. Stern replies that he stole it all from Roxxon and hacked his accounts. And goons are easy. There’s a whole web-ring of them, and one can hire them out of Malaysia. Fury wants to know why Stern didn’t just blow up Roxxon’s car or something, if he wanted him dead so badly. Stern defends that wouldn’t mean anything. He had to take Roxxon out with things he invented for him.
Fury tells the “Tinker-er” that he has two choices now: he’ll work for him until Fury tells him it’s enough. Stern will live under lock and key until Fury says he served his time. And, Stern will also see a shrink Fury will send him to. Stern wants to hear the other choice. Fury smiles that the other choice is that he’ll shoot Stern now for trying to escape and take all of his toys anyhow. Stern agrees to go for the first choice. Fury notices a big robot in a corner and asks Stern what it is. He calls it “the Slayer.” When Fury wants to know what the robot slays, Stern claims it can slay anything. Tony is impressed.
The next day…
Roxxon walks out of his office, and is crowded by media reporters, who all want to hear about his involvement with Spider-Man. Donald ignores them and walks into his limo, where, surprisingly enough, Silver Sable is waiting for him and demands her money. Roxxon promises he’ll give it to her. Sable wants Roxxon to understand that, if she ever sees or hears from him ever again after today, she will kill him in his sleep. Roxxon understands. Sable also mentions that, if she sees her name mentioned somewhere, even by SHIELD or the FBI, she’ll also kill him. Roxxon understands.
Elsewhere…
Spider-Man meets up with Flash in his home, but Flash is rather angry at Spidey and defends himself with a baseball bat. Flash angrily tells Spidey that he can go walk around in a costume and commit crimes if he thinks that makes him a man, but Flash won’t let him threat his family. Spidey tries to calm Flash down and just wants to apologize for all the misunderstandings. Flash warns Spider-Man to better leave now, or else it will be clobberin’ time!
Later…
The entire confrontation between Flash and Spider-Man got filmed on camera, and duped “Caught In The Web: The Flash Thompson Story.” And the story airs on every news channel.
At home, Peter watches the terrible turn of events, and gets a call from Kitty. She hears someone laughing loudly and thinks it’s her, and asks Kitty if she thinks it’s a good idea to be laughing at him this early on in their relationship. Kitty mentions that she isn’t laughing, but Wolverine is. At the Xavier’s school, everyone was watching the news as well and saw the story. Kitty tells Peter not to worry about it, since, now that the show aired, it will all be over. Peter, finishing his pizza, doesn’t agree with that.
The next day…
At school, Peter notices how girls hang around Flash, wanting to know if Spider-Man really was at his home. One of the girls thinks that the actor who played Flash wasn’t as cute as the real one. She wants to know if Spider-Man really is one of their teachers, or maybe one of the janitors, because Spider-Man looks disgusting. Peter overhears the entire conversation, and isn’t happy at all!


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Deadpool: part 1
Midtown…Spider-Man has been trapped in rings. Though he apparently has no way out of them, Spidey still jokes that it will take a whole lot more than these rings to take him out. The Ringer claims that he has prepared for a battle with someone like Spider-Man. After all, he’s straight from Waldorf, Maryland. The Ringer fires more rings at Spidey, but he dodges them all. He jokes that he doesn’t even know what it means what the Ringer just said. This all seems like a dream to him. He has to remember not to take any more jalapeno before going to bed.
The Ringer wants Spider-Man to remember his face, and to remember who slapped his “mutant-behind.” Spidey warns the Ringer to slow down with the trash talk, as he’s still with that thing the Ringer said about coming from Maryland. He wants to know when Maryland suddenly became cool. The Ringer doesn’t care about Spider-Man, thinking he is a mutant, and just wants to escape with his diamonds. Shadowcat, in a whole new dashing uniform, appears behind the Ringer, warning him that he should really stop saying all that racist nonsense.
Kitty starts fighting the Ringer and asks Spider-Man if he’s alright. Peter jokes that he stopped breathing a few minutes ago. The Ringer fires his rings at Kitty now, warning her to stay out of his way. Kitty easily phases through the “hula hoops,” which means that the Ringer is in trouble. She notices that the Ringer is wearing a mechanical suit, and decides to phase through it. But, nothing happens. Kitty finds this weird, as when she usually phases through something mechanical, she just short-circuits it. That’s what’s so cool about her. The Ringer warns her to stay away from him. Spidey is really getting a hard time to breath now thanks to the traps of the Ringer and warns Kitty about it.
She rushes towards him, and tells him to stay calm as she has a plan. Peter tells her to catch the bad guy first but she ignores that. Kitty touches Peter with her hands, and phases him through the rings! Peter is surprised, as he didn’t know Kitty could phase other people. Kitty claims that obviously she can, as long as she grabs the person and remains focused. Peter is impressed, but really wished that Kitty would have phased his shirt along with the rest of him. Kitty jokes that that’s the bonus she gets. Spidey notices the Ringer running away, and Kitty tells him to web the Ringer up. So, Peter quickly makes a web in front of the Ringer, and traps his hands in it!
Suddenly, the device on the Ringer’s back starts to overload and Kitty realizes that the mechanisms in the Ringer’s suit are on his back. She sticks her hands through it, and the suit explodes! Peter fears that Kitty got caught in the explosion, but luckily she survived by phasing herself when the explosion took place. The Ringer mentions he just wants to leave with his diamonds, but Spidey jokes that won’t happen since those diamonds aren’t his. Kitty notices that the Ringer has his wallet in his pants, and discovers that the Ringer’s real name is Anthony Davis and that he lives in Medina County of Ohio. She shouts it out loud to the public, and police officers arrive on the scene. Peter quickly picks Kitty up and webslings them both into safety.
While they do that, Kitty mocks the villains that Peter faces, but realizes he’s at least stepping up after that ridiculous Shocker-guy they faced the last time. Peter defends that his villains are still better than those of the Ultimates, but Kitty mocks that all those guys do is beat each other up. They jump on a roof and Peter wants to discuss Kitty’s new costume. Kitty explains that she would really like to date Peter Parker, the man behind the Spider-Man mask, and not to just see him as a super-hero in-training. Peter didn’t even know he was still “in training.” Kitty remembers that Peter lost his shirt once when he was fighting Venom. Peter takes the point.
Kitty adds that if she, a famous X-Man, is seeing fighting alongside Spider-Man and Peter Parker, someone might put two and two together. Sure, they can team-up one or two times, but some people might end up thinking otherwise. Peter thinks it’s pretty nice of Kitty to make a new super-hero identity just so they can hang out. But, she still isn’t sure what her codename is going to be. Peter jokes she might want to try out “Spider-Girl,” but she hates that name. They websling away again, and Peter asks if Kitty really wants to date him in real life. She wants to, and asks Peter the same answer, which he responds on in the same way.
They land in an abandoned warehouse, and Peter confesses that he’s just worried about it all. He’s worried about his aunt, and doesn’t want her to know he’s Spider-Man. Kitty is aware of that. Peter defends that his aunt has just gone through so much lately. Kitty asks Peter if all the stuff his aunt is going through, if it isn’t like an eighty percent Spider-Man’s fault. Peter just isn’t ready to tell her yet. Kitty defends that she would really like to start hold Peter’s hand and go to movies together and such. Kitty tells Peter to look at it this way: if his aunt knew that he would have a girlfriend, he wouldn’t have to lie about why he isn’t at home and can go more easily go off and fight his lame villains. Peter defends that the X-Men also don’t have that much cool villains. Kitty claims otherwise, since they’ve fought Magneto, the Hellfire Club, the Brotherhood of Mutants and even Mojo. Peter doesn’t even know who Mojo is. Kitty jokes that Mojo would kick Peter’s butt.
Kitty also wants to tell Peter’s aunt about the fact she’s a mutant and an X-Man, since that’s a known fact on the Internet. When Peter thinks it’s suspicious he would just happen to be dating a famous X-Man, Kitty jokes they could claim they met at the mall, or at another place Peter hangs out.
Suddenly, Kitty’s ride arrives, and she mentions that the plane is on remote now since, her teammates are all sick of flying her back and forth to Westchester. So, they sent her a robot plane now. Peter is impressed and wants his own robot plane. He promises Kitty that he’ll think about her suggestion. They share a kiss goodbye, but Kitty loses her concentration and phases through Peter. He’s a little freaked out by it, but quickly calms down and Kitty smiles she won’t do that again. Peter mentions it’s okay, and tells her to call him once she got home so he’ll know she got back safe. Kitty goes to the plane and promises to do that.
However, once on the plane, Kitty starts to have changing feelings, as she fears she freaked out Peter by phasing through his body and that he might be scared of her now. A while later, she arrives back at the mansion, but finds it completely empty! Finally, after calling out to people, Wolverine arrives. Kitty is glad to see Logan again and asks where he went but, without answering the question, Logan devilishly smiles but doesn’t say a word. He takes out a knife and attacks Kitty! She quickly phases herself and Logan falls through her, but she gets hit from behind by an electric zap. Kitty recognizes Ororo, but “Storm” doesn’t even know if “Ororo” is a word or whatever. She takes out a device, and releases another, more powerful bolt on Kitty!
Kitty makes it to the hangar and decides to call the Ultimates and Nick Fury for help. She jumps back into the plane and activates it, but the “X-Men” catch up with her and blast her down. They drag Kitty out of the plane, which departs afterwards without her.
Later, in Queens…Peter is surprised when he finds May all dressed up, looking like she’s going on a date. May claims that she’s just going out with a group of friends from her work, and takes off. As Peter waves her goodbye, he notices Kitty’s plane hovering above the warehouse they were just in. He decides to go check it out but, once Peter is in the plane, the doors of it closes and flies him back to Westchester!
Once there, Peter notices it’s only a twenty-minute flight to Westchester. The plane lands, and he steps out of it. He sees Kitty standing by the door but, on that very moment, his spider-sense goes off. Peter worries that Wolverine might be around but, without saying anything, “Kitty” activates a device and gives Peter a powerful electrical shock, knocking him out!
“Kitty” reveals her true colors, and the person behind her thinks it’s awesome that they got Spider-Man as a bonus, as he and his group certainly didn’t expect to see him today. Deadpool triumphs, and his team step out of the shadows.


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Deadpool: part 2
Inside a helicopter…
Spider-Man wakes up, and finds himself imprisoned. Half-dozed, he notices that Kitty and the other X-Men are imprisoned as well! One of the mercenaries notices Spidey is awake, and his boss, Deadpool, orders his minion to give the webslinger another electrical shock. The mercenary does as ordered, and hits Spidey, who is knocked out again.
The mercenaries want to take off Spider-Man’s mask. Peter is not completely unconscious yet, and overhears their conversation. The mercenaries report to Deadpool that they are reaching the dropping point, so Deadpool tells them to drop their prisoner. The mercenaries aren’t sure if that’s such a good idea. Deadpool is confident that the X-Men will survive the fall, thanks to their mutant powers. The mercenaries fear what’s going to happen if the X-Men don’t survive the fall. Deadpool doesn’t even care about that, since the X-Men and Spider-Man will be dead by nightfall anyhow. That’s the show.
Deadpool orders the other mercenaries to wake their prisoners up, as he loves to hear the screams. It’s showbiz time. One of the mercenaries still wants to take off Spider-Man’s mask. Deadpool reminds his companion that he already told him to respect the mask, as they always mean something. Deadpool notices that Spider-Man is still awake. He greets him, and orders the mercenaries to throw him overboard!
Spider-Man gets handcuffed thrown out of the plane, and heads straight towards the island below him. The X-Men undergo the same fate. Peter notices that his Web Shooters are still on, and makes a safety net with them. He lands safely, though loses one of his boots in the process. Spidey takes a look around him, and realizes he is definitely not in Central Park… he’s in trouble. While trying to take off his handcuffs, which he fails to do, Spidey tries to figure out where he is, but doesn’t have a single clue. On that very moment, a furious mercenary attacks him. He fires a blast at Spider-Man, who dodges it and shoots some webs into the mercenaries’ face, and also kicks it. Spidey takes a run for it, until he bumps into Colossus.
Peter doesn’t recognize the X-Man and starts punching him. Colossus picks Spidey up and asks him not to do that, and asks if he doesn’t recognize him. Confused, Spidey at first thinks he’s dealing with Aunt May! Colossus introduces himself as one of the X-Men, and Spidey finally recognizes the big, metal Russian guy. Colossus uses his strength to free Spidey from his handcuffs. Spidey sure hopes they are in the X-Men’s backyard, but Colossus replies that they aren’t. Spidey wants to go find Kitty, as she attacked him. Colossus tries to explain to Peter that Kitty would never do such a thing. Spidey believes that perhaps Kitty is under some kind of mind control, and that Xavier has gone insane or something.
Colossus begs Spider-Man to stop talking, promising that Kitty didn’t attack him. Peter doesn’t believe that, as he remembers that Kitty sent the robot plane to his home in Queens. He stepped into it, and the plane flew him to the school. Next, he came out of the plane and was attacked by Kitty herself. He woke up being pushed out of a big helicopter by the cast of Soul Caliber Three! And not long afterward, he was attacked by that cyborg until Colossus found him. Colossus corrects that, actually, the cyborg attacked him and he believes that he may have accidentally led him to Spider-Man. But, he didn’t know the webslinger was there. Spider-Man adds that he doesn’t know where they are either, plus he lost his boot.
Colossus remembers that he was attacked by Ororo. As Spider-Man doesn’t know who that is, Colossus informs him that Ororo is the one with the weather powers. When Spidey is surprised that Storm attacked her teammate, Colossus replies that he is confident that it wasn’t the real Storm. And he also believes that perhaps they are dealing with a shapeshifter. Spider-Man believes that may be true, or else women have decided to take over the world. He knew that was coming, but nobody would listen to him. Colossus doesn’t think they should be joking now, but Spider-Man admits he didn’t think the shapeshifter was serious until now. He suggests they go find the others. Colossus didn’t even know that there were others on the island. Spider-Man explains that, like him, the other X-Men were all thrown out of a helicopter.
When Colossus wants to know where they are, Spidey really hopes they are in Central Park, but Colossus doesn’t think so. Spider-Man thought so, so he warns the X-Man to be prepared to see him crying. Colossus takes a look around, and concludes that the place seems familiar to him. On that moment, an optic blast is fired, and Colossus recognizes the blast coming from Cyclops. They run over to Scott, and find out that he’s being overwhelmed by more cyborgs! Those cyborgs tell Scott to give up and just die. A confused Cyclops wants to know where he is, and why the cyborgs are doing this. Colossus rescues his teammate and punches the cyborgs away from him, while Spider-Man fights them as well.
Scott wants to know what Spider-Man is doing there, but Spider-Man admits that he doesn’t really know. Cyclops remembers being attacked by Wolverine, and next being thrown out of a helicopter. Colossus corrects Scott that he wasn’t attacked by Wolverine, but by a shapeshifter. Spider-Man thinks that’s a maybe. He jokes that perhaps they should wake one of these fallen Bionicles up and tickle them until they explain what’s going on. Spider-Man gets closer to the cyborgs, who have a smell on them. Scott wants to know where Jean is, as she can get them all together with her psychic abilities. Spider-Man calls out to Kitty, and wants to find her.
Cyclops warns Spider-Man to be quiet, as they can’t let their attackers know where they are, since they are being hunted down. Spider-Man didn’t even realize that. Colossus suddenly hears a squeal. Another cyborg appears, and introduces himself as Bonebreaker! When Cyclops demands to know what this is all about, Bonebreaker instead starts firing blasts from his hands, and jokes that he’s there to break some bones. Spider-Man rescues Scott from getting hit, and Colossus takes the blast and remains unharmed thanks to his metal skin. Bonebreaker adds that he wants to kill the X-Men and Spider-Man, and that he wants the entire world to see him do it. Spidey wants to know how the world is going to see it.
Scott fires an optic blast on Bonebreaker, but he isn’t even harmed by it. Bonebreaker triumphs that they are ready for the heroes, as they all made that sacrifice. He mentions that the X-Men don’t have any idea how far they have taken this. He and his cyborg companions were born for this. Suddenly, a strong lightning bolt hits Bonebreaker, which brings him down. Cyclops, Spider-Man and Colossus are all startled to see it. Storm triumphantly descends from the sky, and asks if anyone else is feeling angry about this. Spider-Man is impressed. Colossus asks Ororo if she’s all right. Cyclops asks Storm if she knows what’s going on and where they are. She confirms that, and uses her weather powers to lift everyone up into the sky, so they can take a closer look.
Cyclops finally recognizes the island they are on: it’s Krakoa! Spider-Man hopes that is off the coast of Long Island. Scott denies that, and explains that Krakoa is actually off the coast of Genosha in the South Pacific. Spider-Man thinks he’s going to cry. He believes that his life is over and has to get home. Helicopters suddenly show up and open fire! Scott orders Storm to drop the wind tunnel immediately. She does. Everyone falls back down again, and the helicopters all crash down into the trees, and explode. They notice someone coming through the smoke. It’s Kitty! She asks if everyone is alright. Spider-Man thanks God that Kitty is alright. She gently touches his face and wants to know what he is doing tere. Peter mentions to Kitty that she sent the plane to him, so he came, and that’s when Kitty attacked him.
Kitty denies that. Colossus corrects that there’s a shapeshifter in the cyborg’s group. Spider-Man thinks that Kitty may be that shapeshifter and wants to know for sure that they are dealing with the real Kitty here. However, Kitty whispers something into Peter’s ear, and he’s quickly convinced she’s real. But, he still wants to know how any of the other X-Men aren’t that shapeshifter. Scott defends that one can’t fake mutant abilities. Spider-Man agrees, unless your mutant ability is to fake other people’s mutant abilities. Scott defends that, in that case, the one using a disguise would be attacking the others, and that isn’t the case right now.
Storm has heard enough and wants to go find the others and have to get off this island right now. Spider-Man doesn’t like to repeat himself, but still wants to know what’s going on. Nightcrawler teleports in, and believes that it’s payback time. He explains that he managed to find the others, thanks to the smoke from the crashed down helicopters. He believes that the X-Men are the stars of the show again. Scott agrees. Spider-Man still doesn’t understand. Angel and Rogue land down. Warren holds an unconscious Jean in his arms, mentioning that he found her like this hanging into a tree. He didn’t knew what else to do. Scott telepathically calls out to her, but doesn’t get an answer. Kurt believes that the Professor was right, and that they shouldn’t have come here in the first place.
Scott tries to wake Jean up, but with no success. Angel sure is glad he found the others. He mentions that he just stopped back at the mansion for a visit, but now he has no idea what’s going on. Storm explains that sometimes it works to fill Jean’s mind. Her psychic powers make it hard for her to sleep. On that moment, Jean wakes up and tells everyone to be quiet. Scott asks Jean if she’s alright. She jokes she isn’t, and wants to know what’s going on. Scott explains to her that they are back on Krakoa. Jean doesn’t like that.
Spider-Man gets impatient and wants to know what Krakoa is. Kitty explains that Krakoa is a prison island for mutants. The nation of Genosha imprisons its mutants, sends them to this place and hunts and kills them for sport. Spider-Man is disgusted. Kitty adds that these people broadcast the sport on TV. The X-Men came there last month and stuck their noses in it. The Professor was mad at them they did. He had told them not to do it, but the X-Men did it anyway. Spider-Man wants to know if they are on TV right now. Kitty isn’t sure about that. He believes that it sounds a little inhumane to kidnap people out of their homes and show them on TV getting hunted down.
On that moment, Spider-Man’s spidey-sense goes off. Deadpool and more mercenaries show up, and open fire. Deadpool shouts that mutants are freaks who have no business being alive in the first place. Plus, he adds, the X-Men are all known as international mutant terrorists. He jokes that he and his buddies are actually doing the world a favor by putting them down, plus they get to entertain millions of people along the way. He promises the X-Men that they’ll soon find out why he’s being called “Deadpool,” and they better smile, because they are about to make television history!


[User]
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Provide a full summary of the comic book.

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Deadpool: part 3
Somewhere on Krakoa Island…
Standing in a large showroom with video screens behind him, Augustus Beezer introduces himself to his viewing audience at home. He claims that, for weeks now, the audience has waited for their favorite show to return. He explains that, as most of the viewers know, the show was “unceremoniously” ripped off the air by the X-Men. Beezer lies that the X-Men are criminal teenagers who illegally infiltrated their broadcast show and shut it down. And they were the only show where dangerous, convicted mutant criminals are hunted down and destroyed like the animals they are, all done right here and there at the show.
But now, Beezer claims while showing his audience footage of the X-Men fighting Mojo, the tables have turned. He reveals that the X-Men have been brought to this island to face the music, and it promises to be one heck of a battle. Broadcasting live to a dozen right-thinking countries all over the world, these “most dangerous” mutants are about to pay the ultimate price for their “crimes” against humanity. Beezer is proud to welcome you back… to Krakoa Island!
Meanwhile…
Deadpool orders his many Reavers to hit the X-Men and Spider-Man high and low. It’s time to shut them down. While he and the X-Men do their best to defend themselves, Spider-Man shouts that he isn’t even a mutant (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Cyclops orders his team to try to find some high ground.
Beezer shows the fight live to his viewers. He explains that the show has its newest super-stars, Deadpool and his rag-tag gang of cybernetic Reavers, front and center. They are ready and willing to put everything they have on the line for this down and dirty fight-to-the-finish. He thinks that the viewers at home are in for a real treat. He promises that the show will keep an eye on the fight as it continues, but first he wants to give a little behind-the-scenes on the show’s players.
First off, the question of who Deadpool is will be revealed. “Deadpool” is the nickname Sergeant Wadey Wilson picked up after his death-defying action in the Wakanda Wars, which occurred in the early nineties. More about the Wakanda Wars is revealed on the show’s website. When Deadpool was approached by the show’s producers last year, Sergeant Wilson handpicked a group that called themselves the Reavers. All of these members of the Reavers are so intensely against the existence of mutants that they voluntarily underwent enhancement surgeries. Each and every one of these unique soldiers in the war against mutation voluntarily gave up their own humanity so the humans have a better chance at theirs.
That’s what they have to look forward to in this next season of the show. Beezer claims that the Reavers are the most dedicated soldiers on planet Earth. These guys aren’t messing around. This is no backs. He wants the audience to think about a man who’s willing to become a member of the Reavers. He wants them to think about the Reaver’s willpower. About their dedication and spiritual control it takes to believe in something that much. That’s who the Reavers are. Beezer is confident that the X-Men will die today. They just… will!
Beezer shows a previously recording interview with Deadpool. Wadey explains that the X-Men were born as mutants. They didn’t choose to become mutants. They didn’t earn the right to be different or to be called “Homo superior.” But the Reavers? They did have a choice and they took it. The Reavers chose to stand up for dudes who can’t, and they are determined to put these “mutant freaks” down. That’s what they are fighting for. They claim that their desire to destroy mutants is stronger than anything they could ever imagine. The Reavers believe that just because they exist, the X-Men have already lost. When this opportunity came their way, Deadpool knew they had to do this. They had to make a show out of it.
Wilson believes that Xavier, Magneto and the X-Men kids are all the same. They all think that they are better than the Reavers. They think that they are the next step in human evolution. Deadpool finds that hard to believe. Someone could be such a “genetic disaster,” such a “perversion” of God and nature’s will, the X-Men could look in a mirror and see that, and yet think “Yeah, I’m the next step in human evolution.” Deadpool’s grandfather once told him that they had a word for mutants in his day. They called them “carnival freaks” that would be put in the carnival freak show.
Deadpool claims that they couldn’t do anything illegal to bring the X-Men to their island. There are both international and American laws to deal with. So, they had a recon unit on the X-Men to their school in New York. Deadpool believes the school is actually more like a terrorist camp. And the second the X-Men left America, they flew themselves into open waters and the Reavers grabbed them. He explains that the sovereign nation of Genosha, which Krakoa is an island off of, it’ sanctioned and functioned for the entire operation. The X-Men really broke international law.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man and the X-Men find them under full attack of the Reavers. Cyclops orders his team not to take this fight head on, because they are out-manned and the setting isn’t conducive to most of their powers. Nightcrawler ignores that and teleports behind Deadpool and slams him on his head. Deadpool quickly recovers though and grabs Kurt’s neck, recognizing him and jokes that Kurt should have listened to what Cyclops said. Spider-Man comes to Kurt’s rescue, and kicks Deadpool into his face, releasing Kurt along the way. Kurt thanks Peter for the rescue, and they run away hoping to get themselves into safety.
In the video message, Deadpool explains that he would rather just slice through the X-Men’s throats when they are asleep. He would whack the X-Men on their heads with a mallet and be done with it. But that’s not what this show is all about. He shouts that the X-Men are animals. And animals are to be hunted down for sports. Plus, doing it on TV like this tells the other mutants out there the truth. That those mutants can dress like human beings, walk among them, but they sure aren’t human. And soon, Deadpool believes, both America and Europe will start to understand this. They’ll get over themselves and start airing this broadcast and start punishing their mutants like the Reavers do at their show.
Deadpool claims that the big guy who runs this show told him that the online podcast for this show gets downloaded more in America than elsewhere in the world. Deadpool wasn’t surprised. It’s because the world wants to see this. They want to feel like humans are ruling the world, because they are! And the human race doesn’t have to feel guilty about that. But, Deadpool sure wishes that Magneto were around to see this. He would just love to blow Magneto’s face off.
Beezer interrupts, revealing that they are getting ready to go live into the battlefield. There’s a lot going on, including the surprise appearance by Spider-Man. He calls out to Sergeant Wilson if he can hear him. While standing in the middle of the battle, Deadpool reports back that he can hear his boss. Beezer wants to know if they are dealing with the real Spider-Man. Deadpool jokes that Spider-Man is a bonus, as he was with the X-Men when they detained him, so the Reavers decided to just take him as well. He notices Spider-Man, and shoots at him. Beezer wants to know if Spider-Man is a mutant. Deadpool believes so, but either way, he promises that Spider-Man won’t walk out of this. Storm hits Deadpool with a lightning bolt, but Wilson doesn’t even get hurt by it!
Augustus wants to know what Deadpool can tell their viewers about Spider-Man. Deadpool claims that he just said everything he knows about the webslinger. The guy is there and Wilson is determined to kill him. Beezer asks Deadpool to hold up, because he’s getting word from the control room. After listening to the message, Beezer reveals that the cameras picked up Spider-Man and Shadowcat hiding behind the bushes.
Spider-Man thinks it’s nuts that people are actually filming this, and Kitty can’t catch a breath. Spidey jokes that they’ll just swing out of this and call the cops, or maybe even Nick Fury. Kitty remembers that Fury hates Peter. He just doesn’t know what else to do. Kitty wants to talk with Peter, but he warns her not to use his real name because they might be filmed. Kitty understands, and tells Peter not to break up with her. Peter doesn’t’ understand.
Ashamed, Kitty admits that she got Peter into this. She doesn’t want him to break up with her because all of this was an accident. Peter already knew that. Kitty notices that Peter isn’t mad at her. Peter asks Kitty if she knows who the Reavers are. Kitty promises she doesn’t, and only knows that she wants to get off of this island, like ten minutes ago. They share a hug. Kitty suddenly panics, wondering what the villains did to Professor X.
On that moment, Peter’s spider-sense goes off and an explosion takes place behind them! Peter manages just in time to websling both him and Kitty into safety! The Reavers who shot the blast are a bit upset they missed, but realize that the show isn’t over yet. Beezer explains to the audience that they are going to cut back and forth and around the battlefield now, to see what’s going on with the mutants. One of the Reavers tells Deadpool that they should use the genetic thing they used to take the X-Men down and bring them back to them like that.
Suddenly, Cyclops hits the Reavers from behind using his optic blast, and demands to know who the Reavers are. Deadpool and one of the Reavers with mechanical arms quickly hit Scott back into his face, and even knock off his visors! Beezer can see this happening on his screens, and jokes that hit Scott took in his face really had to hurt. Deadpool holds a defeated Scott up by his hear, and threatens him with a knife. Wilson mentions to the watching kids that he is now holding the “face” of the so-called “future” of mankind. Beezer smiles and is impressed Deadpool just did that.
He also believes that, with their leader down, the other X-Men are running around wild and will soon fall down as well. He wants to know who’s next. Deadpool receives word from a scouting helicopter above him, and wants to know from the pilot who he has just seen. The pilot reports that he just saw Angel flying passed him, and one of Warren’s big wings actually comes passed his window. Beezer is impressed and introduces Angel to his audience. He remembers that they had Angel in their studio for their last broadcast.
The pilot fires at Warren, and actually hit one of his wings. The pilot heard Warren scream, and Beezer wants to know if the X-Man is down or not. The pilot saw Angel diving into the nearby trees, and the ground crew will have to find him now. Nightcrawler teleports inside the helicopter, knocks out the pilot, and speaks into the camera, hoping that the X-Men can see this, that they have a ride out of this island now. But below, Deadpool heard Kurt talking, and has one of the Reavers blast the helicopter down!
Beezer wants to know what just happened. Deadpool believes that Nightcrawler is still alive and probably teleported out of there just in time. Lucas, one of the Reavers, has a cybernetic eye and he saw the whole thing happening. Beezer tells Deadpool not to worry about that, because it’s been one hell of a show so far. Deadpool finds it weird, though. He came there with the bright dream of killing some X-babies, and now all he can think about is killing Spider-Man.
Beezer thinks it’s funny Deadpool brought Spider-Man up, because while Deadpool and his men were doing recon, the show’s producers have put together a little something on their surprise guest-star. He explains to the audience that most of them will probably remember Spider-Man from the movie they made about him last summer, which was about him fighting Dr. Octopus. After a few months of being a New York sensation, sort of a cultish super-hero phenomenon, movie producers latched onto the idea of making a Spider-Man movie.
The movie ended up being quite a unique sensation, as it was half-movie, making magic and half-reality based footage. Though most people thought that the entire production was a stunt, the show today reveals that Spider-Man is very real. Now, rumors were circulating for weeks now that Spider-Man is a mutant, or even one of the X-Men, as a video camera filmed footage of the interesting fact that Spider-Man is now dating Shadowcat, who is a member of the X-Men. And it would seem that information is now confirmed on what they saw earlier.
However, after today, Beezer believes that romance is doomed to end like Romeo and Juliet’s. They now actually have footage of Spider-Man hugging Kitty. After the hug, the two started taking off toward the mansion. Beezer asks Deadpool if he can see all this. Deadpool mentions he and the Reavers are on their way. Bonekiller says he’s got a visual on the heroes and knows where the mansion is now.
As they are being filmed, but don’t realize it, Kitty explains to Spider-Man that the Professor is the most powerful telepath on the entire planet. Peter jokes that he’s the 6,543rd most strongest person. Kitty is seriously concerned about her mentor. Peter suddenly stops, as he noticed one of the hidden cameras in the trees. Kitty panics. Peter takes a look inside it, and jokes he feels like the mayor of crazy town. He finds it hard to believe that this battle is being filmed live for people to see at home. But anyway, Peter shouts in the camera that this is all real and that people are actually trying to kill them. And be begs anyone with a phone to contact someone to help, like Nick Fury, the police, the Ultimates or the Kingpin even! Peter begs for help.
Kitty tells Peter to stop, as he’s just giving the show what it wants. Peter finds it hard to believe that the show wants him to cry. Kitty shouts that Peter is actually giving the people a show. The people are now sitting there and watching this and laughing their butts off. But, Kitty mentions to the camera, this isn’t funny. Peter begs anyone to help, shouting that he isn’t even a mutant. Kitty angrily shouts at Peter to stop saying that, but Peter replies he’s just trying to get some help. Kitty feels belittled when Peter shouts something like this, but he doesn’t want to start a fight now. Kitty and Peter hear something, and realize that the Reavers must be somewhere nearby.
Storm finds herself surrounded by more Reavers and panics a bit. Beezer can hear the blasts outside, and admits he didn’t realize the X-Men were so close to his studio. One of the Reavers fired a blast that goes off nearby Spider-Man and Kitty, but she managed to just use her powers in time and phases them. Deadpool warns the Reavers that they are going to burn the whole island if they don’t stop, but the Reavers are confident they’ve got the X-Men now, even though they haven’t. Storm uses his weather powers to take out some of the Reavers, and Beezer panics when he sees Spider-Man coming through and smashing one of the camera’s! The angry X-Men and Spider-Man start winning the battle, though it is soon noticed that Cyclops can’t be seen anywhere.
During the battle, one of the Reavers calls Kitty a mutant skank, upsetting Peter. He knocks the Reaver out and also smashes Deadpool down. Peter wants to know who’s hiding behind Deadpool’s mask, and rips it off. Surprisingly enough, the man hiding behind the mask is none other than… Professor X?!
We’ll be right back…