It’s the bleak dark winter. Starting the year in January, when the light is weak and the cold air sharp, has always seemed so wrong to me. This is the winding-down time, the slowest time of the year.
And yet, every magazine article and blog post right now is about Improvement! New Start! Green smoothies, kale salads, and a clear denunciation of who we have been in the past year. Organize yourself now! Most magazine’s covers this month read: lose weight, clear yourself of clutter, improve your memory, get your financial life in order, and be happy now! How is that last one possible when we’re so busy bustling, doing all the things needed to become a new person?
I don’t want to become a new person. I just want to be here.
That’s why I’m not going to be here for awhile.
Our cookbook is due in 8 weeks. Actually, a day shy of 8 weeks, since it’s due on March 1st.
Danny and I are both pleased with what we have made. This cookbook will be much more accessible than our last cookbook, a reflection of who we are and how we eat right now. We’re sharing food with our friends and neighbors and they’re happy. The wonderful people testing recipes for us approve.
However, we’re not done. Nowhere close.
Last week, I had a bit of a panic. It didn’t help that the preschools and daycares were closed for a week and thus I spent eight straight days with Lu without 15 minutes to myself. I love that kid with all my heart but a constant one-on-one with a 3-year-old is like a marathon, with no one handing you water on the way. I caught some awful stomach flu  my immune system weakened after not being able to eat real food for three weeks, I’m sure  the day after Christmas. Taking care of a 3-year-old on your own with the flu stinks. It grows worse when she catches it too. It wasn’t our best week.
Danny tried to do what he could. But you see, he’s hardly home right now. A few weeks ago, he took over as head chef at The Hardware Store, the restaurant where he has been working for the past two years. Deliberately, he chose to be a line cook for that time. Our lives are full with cookbookery and blog-making, touring and creating. That’s what made this past year of travel possible. However, he couldn’t really do it anymore. He was ready for more, ready to make changes. He’s cooking for the community where he lives. He is jazzed, alive, firing with ideas all the time. And gone from 9:30 in the morning to nearly 11 at night most days.
I remember again what it’s like to be married to a chef. A walk with him on the beach is a rare, fine thing.
This means that finishing the cookbook is (mostly) all on me now.
I’ve known that for six weeks. I’ve been working, cooking, thinking, and writing down recipes. I cook several dishes a day, feed Danny when he comes home, and ask him what he thinks. He laps it up, grateful to be fed after such a long day. In the morning, we talk about what we ate, tweak a few things, and call it good. Then I go back to work again.
I’m sure that our cookbook will actually benefit from Danny not being able to work on it right now. He’s so talented. His food is so good. However, he thinks like a chef. He cooks with a team of people, with set-up stations, dishwashers, and a joy of being on his feet all day. His recipes start with marination, include 18 ingredients, and end with reduction. I’m a home cook, confident in the kitchen. I’ve learned well from him. But if I create the recipes, and he edits them, you are far more likely to feel you can make them.
That’s what we want for this book. We want it food-stained, flat open on your counter. We want it to be of use.
So I’ve been feeling okay with this. Until the week of double flu, no childcare, and little sleep. Panic.
Then, after a calming talk with Danny at nearly midnight, I woke up with a new resolve.
This is 8 weeks of creating. A deeply satisfying time. The work I love the most.
I’ve been thinking about the feeling of being fully absorbed in work I love. There are moments when I am writing, or making a photograph, or standing in front of the stove when I feel fully alive. No other thoughts. Just here.
However, that’s more and more rare these days.
I took this photograph on my phone early afternoon Christmas Eve. I had to take it. That sky, those birds, the quiet. It called to me. I stepped out of the car into the cold and waited for the right moment. I sighed at that light.
A few moments later, however, I got back into the car, showed it to Danny and Lucy, processed it, and put it on Twitter.
I’ve been thinking about this for months, this constant communication and documenting of my life. I don’t really like it. It’s not how I want to live.
Last week, Christina Choi died. We knew her through food, from buying mushrooms from her at the farmers’ market, then happily eating at her wild-foods restaurant, Nettletown, as often as we could. Christina was vibrant, alive, and living her dream. She was doing what every single self-help book says we should do to live a life that matters. Three days after Christmas, she died of complications of a brain aneurysm. She was 34 years old.
I’ve been trying to process this for days. There’s no way to make sense of it. I feel enormous sadness for her family, more than words can convey. But more, I’m struck by what a sham all those Urgent Messages for a Better You really are. You could be fiscally solvent, eating all the right food, organized, and the perfect weight.
With all this, swirling in all this, came a clear decision.
I’m going to be quiet for awhile.
I’m taking a break from this space for the month of January. Partly it’s survival. When I’m creating and writing 2 to 3 recipes a day for the next 8 weeks, I just don’t have any others to give here. But it’s more than that. I need the break. I need the quiet.
Yes, my love. I am.
I want to feel who am these days without the constant connection and sharing it publicly.
Please don’t worry about me. There’s nothing wrong. Instead, it feels as though everything is right. Right now.
I’ll be working all day, every day.
But there will be more life, undocumented and quiet.
Congratulations. Enjoy the quiet, sweet friend.
Be well, my friend! I can’t wait to see the results!
Good for you. I’ll look forward to your book. Taking some time for quiet time right now sounds good for me too focusing on my family and friends.
Beautifully said.. enjoy your time and Happy New Year!
I hope you can squeeze in more walks on the beach in the next 8 weeks! That coast looks divine.
Enjoy all the moments! It will be exciting to hear that the book is done and what is coming next.
Glad you are taking time to yourself and your family, it is well deserved. Take time and smell the roses (when they bloom!), no need to get into the drama of everyday life of others.
I received your latest book as a Christmas gift and I read it cover to cover. Your stories were like recipes – a main idea enrobed in a sauce of the love of the story, studded with characters and settings, garnished with humor and color. Your recipes were like stories – tales of love and nourishment and color and flavor. I was – AM – in love with your writing and your food! I finished the book and sighed in contentment – my Mum asked me what I was thinking and I said “I want to live in their world!”.
I will miss your postings but I can be happy missing them because I know that there is another chapter of your love, your life, your food, your glory on the other end of the wait. Be well, be joyful, be you, take your time – we will all be here when you return.
Wow!…Shauna, this post just speaks to me. You really have touched on something here… Thanks for sharing your story..a beautiful message. Enjoy your family.
Yes. Good for you for making necessary decisions. Enjoy the quiet. I look forward to your return to the blog.
We will miss you. However, I applaud you for taking stock and having the courage to do what feels right. We look forward to the new book.
This has struck such a spot in my heart that tears are streaming. Be well and peaceful and thank you for the amazing reminder.
Your blog resonates with the feelings i habe. I want to draw inward, be introspective, and be with God. Our family has also been buffeted by illness, personal crises, and problems, some of which are not resolved. I mentally made a list of each crisis and then noted the blessing that it contained. I am going to use some of my quiet time to write it all down. I will gain strength from counting the blessings and silver linings in these oh-so-many issues.
May you enjoy your quietude and blossom as you hear the silence. We look forward to hearing from you again when you are led to the right time to return.
Congratulations! Enjoy your technology quiet, we’ll happily wait to hear from you later. I’m a big fan of quiet in all forms.
Bye for now! and Happy New Year!
Happy New You! You will be missed. Enjoy your silence, for these days the silence is rare.
I’ve been feeling the same way. Enjoy your quiet and your family. See you when you’re ready to come back :).
May many blessings come your way during this ‘silent period.’ I have a sweet 3 year old girl too & experience the wonderful energy that goes along with it! It will all be worth it.
Wishing you the quietness of your dreams, productive days creating your new book, laughs with Lu, and beach walks! May you enjoy the quiet. Come back when ready.
What a beautiful post and reminder of what is most important…taking care of you YOU and those you love. A happy focus; best of luck with the book and enjoy precious moments with your family.
Good for you. Unplug and reconnect with your family. Good luck with finishing the cookbook.
We finally made the big move to Vashon from Claremont, CA about 2 weeks ago. I thought I would be blogging up a storm and e-mailing everyone I knew once I got here… but, I just haven’t. So much change. So much that’s new. I’m having a hard time processing it all, much less sharing it with the world. I know I will, eventually. I’m just not sure when, and I’ve been struggling with feeling OK about that decision.
Thank you for sharing so openly and beautifully about your life. You always do. It never fails to touch my heart. And especially now, I really needed to read the words you wrote. I really needed to hear my own quiet truths coming out in your well-crafted sentences.
May you enjoy every single moment of the life you are creating.
P. S. My husband and I have been dining at The Hardware Store quite regularly and sometimes I see Danny there, working hard. I’ve even caught a glimpse of you or Lu at the Thriftway or the Pharmacy. Perhaps this is silly, but I keep feeling like some kind of weird Internet fan/stalker just walking up and interrupting your personal life to introduce myself. I am a total stranger after all! One of these days though, I’ll do just that, I’m sure. If nothing else, I’d like to shake your hand (or give you a hug) and tell you in person how much your writing has meant to me.
Harsi, please do come up! You just moved from my hometown to the place I love more than anywhere else. Say hello, please!
We´ll be here when you come back.
Once again, Shauna, you’ve pulled the thoughts straight from my brain and heart. My husband and I escaped to the beach for the New Year weekend and we left our computers at home. It was like cutting the cord to some really weird, desperate need for connection with others when what we really needed was to connect with each other and ourselves. And so we did.
I too, think it’s completely bizarre that we start the New Year in the cold and dark. The very last thing I want to do right now is count calories and eat salads. I’ve been thinking about this more and more as my work focuses so much around health and wellness. It’s a tough struggle for me – I know that, logically, I need to market ideas about weight loss and getting healthier because this is the time of year when the momentum is present and people are motivated to make change. But, on another level, it just feels wrong. Fortunately, because my work’s focus is so much about sustainable and real change rather than fad diets, I’m able to make it work, but it does present a challenge.
Enjoy your break from connectivity – you’ve certainly earned it. Have fun cooking, walking, tasting, testing, re-testing…and especially enjoy your sweet kid and husband!
Sounds prefect! Happy New Year!! I’ve been trying to find myself is all of this business. I think I will take your lead and end my facebook for one month. Can’t wait to see the new cookbook.
i’m not sure if i should feel guilty about this or excited because you’re about to totally immerse in the process, or a little bit of both. i was going to email you tomorrow to ask if you were on track… this post covers it though. i love these photos, by the way. i’m sure we’ll be talking/emailing soon. happy new year.
– I absolutely agree. It can be very difficult to a balance between work that we love and our personal life. Enjoy your month unconnected!!
I like what you are doing. Here in Germany we have these cold, dark and grey winters too, and it seems like nature retreats itself to fall into a complete silence, but only to come back with so much more force, power and happiness. I hope for you to the same and I am sure it is exactly what will happen in March when your new cookbook comes out.
I’m so sorry you suffered another loss within your beloved food blogging community. I know the feeling you have right now, and this question of what it is all for, when we try so hard for everything we believe in, and then we die. I hope your much deserved rest will help you to overcome this feeling. Happy New Year to you and your family!
Oh, I am so happy I read your words today. This is exactly how I have been feeling but didn’t really know it, feel it until I read what you wrote. It truly resonated with the ease and quiet I too seek right now. Thank you for your honesty. It certainly helped me to open my heart to what is most important. I hope this time gives you what you exactly what you seek.
Beautiful, and no co-incidence it’s during the ‘dormancy’ of winter, a time where perennials re-group and re-build their stores for a re-burth in the Spring….so are you. Best of success as you renew and complete the final stages of your book.
We’ll here when you’re ready to come back. Enjoy the quiet!
Your post today helped me put my thumb on the discontent I’ve been feeling lately. Thank you so much for sharing, and I wish you a happy, healthy, productive time away.
Good for you. I’ll miss you, but I think what you’re doing is great.
Thank you for your honesty. I hope you have a lovely January and that you enjoy the peace! See ya soon!
Christina’s death is so hard to grasp, so young, so unexpected, so very, very sad. This past year I lost five people, my mama being one of them. Life if so incredibly fleeting. What a beautiful, intentional way to start the year, I wish you much peace in your coming days.
Thanks for sharing – all the new year striving going around can be contagious, but it’s not always helpful.
Enjoy your month of quiet and good luck finishing your book! I think we all need that sort of downtime now and again… we are way too overconnected on a daily basis!
Right on, Shauna. Live richly.
This sounds like just what is needed for you and yours Shauna. It’s funny you mention going quiet as this time after Christmas was, as a child (and every other Christmas now) spent in our holiday home in Margaret River, where it is summer and the beach calls. There’s no phone. No TV. No proper oven. It was a fabulous two weeks to reconnect, read books and magazines and actually spend time with family, one on one. Now there are mobiles, which I do admit make the catching up with other friends in Margaret River easier, but I laughed when Lu said put your phone down Mama. Oh, the number of times I say that to my fiance….
Have a wonderful break, enjoy those moments in the kitchen, on the lake with Lu and with Danny, the quiet moments are the best ones anyway.
Good for you Shauna! Enjoy your work, your stillness, your husband and little Lu.
LOVED this post Shauna. It’s so authentic and I hear your voice in my head as I read it as if we were sitting there chatting with each other. ENJOY the quiet and the productive energy that follows, and, congrats on the final sprint to finish that wonderful cookbook of yours! Cheers to your January! ; ) !
thank you for this quiet reminder.
I’ll miss you, but completely understand your need to take a break. Can’t wait to see the new cookbook.
You know where to find us all when you return.
Beautifully said. I often find that I say to myself, “You don’t tweet enough. You don’t make as many posts on FB as you should.”. I feel guilty about it. I also find myself thinking how absurd that is. Absurd! Thank you for helping me see it. I won’t say I’ll never post but over the next month, or several… I’m going to focus on school, my home, my love. I’m going to try and pick up a book again and ENJOY it. I’m going to savor a bit of quiet. Thank you again…and enjoy your January with yourself, your passion, and your family & friends.
Kudos to you for looking after YOU by giving yourself permission to do what YOU need… and in the end be a better you (wife, mother, cook & friend) for it!
Some people have been choosing a word for their New Year’s resolution or whatever. The only one that has been coming to mind for me is “quiet.” Please do enjoy.
Bless you for writing this. You were speaking so many of my thoughts in this post (but I am determined to eat more of my beloved greens this year – health issues are demanding I pay more attention to the alkaline foods!) and I applaud you for taking time off. Enjoy every moment of just being in the here and now. I’m so sorry for the loss of you friend.
(I’m going to be anonymous because I want to tell you something that would embarrass my son.) I used to just come to your site for recipes but I recently subscribed so I can get every post! I love it! My 10yo son, who is awesome in the kitchen, just went GF too, to see if it helped with his nocturnal bed-wetting. As soon as he stopped eating gluten, the bed-wetting stopped!! We can’t believe it–we’ve tried so many things, even expensive medication! I put your blog in his reader because he loves to bake and was being dramatic over “never eating gluten again!” I’m sure that won’t be the case, but he’s already drooled over some recipes you’ve posted and he’s excited to get baking. 🙂 Thanks for everything you do here, and godspeed with the book!
At the solstice, its the time to go underground. Like the small animals who burrow deep and live in a world of quiet, we need to spend time in our dens, away from the noise and clutter of electronics. I had dinner with a neighbor on New Year’s eve, my own solitary walk on the beach on New Year’s morning. This time of year, I go to work then come home to just be. Not thinking, not doing, just being.
I’ll miss your tweets, but look forward to reading what you write later in the year.
Good article you referred us to read. Thank you for letting us know you are OK. Sounds like a wise way to take care of you. I was even wishing you can do it sometime when you are not busy working on a cookbook. I am noticing that multitasking gets even harder as you are aging and I need to stop more often also. Take care, maybe I will see you on one of the walking paths.
Good for you. I’ve stopped writing on my blog and find myself spending less and less time online. It can become all-consuming, and sometimes it’s so refreshing to just interact with the people you see and love. I think technology makes us forget to live in the moment and appreciate the time we have right now. We’re always searching and looking and catching up. I read that someone’s new year’s resolution was to be the best them they could be – whatever that looks like today. I applaud that approach and think I’m going to adopt that as my goal, not just for 2012, but for life. Enjoy the peace (what little peace you have with such a busy life) and do what feels right to you, right now. Happy New Year.
Thank you for sharing this with us and now go, take care of yourself and your loved ones. Hope to hear from you soon again!
I completely get this. Exhausted from book tour, sick with flu/something unexplainable, I took off a lot of December, too. I didn’t tweet much, rarely put anything on my blog or Facebook and fell wretchedly behind on email. Klout alerted that my score plummeted. I felt guilty.
Life is complicated enough without noise. Writing a book is hard. Loving yourself (not to mention others) takes effort. Be well and know we all heart you in a big way.
P.S. I am available for proofreading should you need it.
I completely understand your need for silence. I am craving that as well. I find too much of my life being spent on Facebook, instead of enjoying my own life.
So please know, I will still be here when you return, and look forward to more gluten-free recipes, and hope that I can create my own “oasis of silence”.
Yes. Just yes. Thank you for putting into words what’s been bothering me about New Year’s. Enjoy the quiet.
Lu is showing you the way–Put your phone down mama. I wish many other children would say the same thing to their mamas and papas. My granddaughter recently said, Come play Mimi, you’ll have fun. She was so right. The photos are so beautiful by the way.
Enjoy your time away! I’ve been thinking a lot about mind-clutter lately and how I can clear it away. For me, it’s definitely going to be about going after the work I love and letting go of the things I just do.
Good for you! I’ve always wondered how you could be so active on Twitter with everything else going on…I’m not married and I don’t have a child and the little bit I do exhausts me! Take care and enjoy!
Your post reminded me of this wonderful poem by Marge Piercy. It’s about all the people who actually DO things in life – like you and your husband. I think you might enjoy it during your interval of quiet.
Big love to you, my friend. A wonderful decision. Enjoy this northwest winter. We spent the afternoon today at the ocean scrambling over driftwood, a view of the Olympics in the distance. Embrace this time, and good luck with the final leg of the cookbook (which I can’t wait to see, read, and use).
I’ve often wondered how you do it, and now I know how not-easy it was. Good for you, and good for us when we read your cookbook!
Enjoy your time. I will certainly miss you though. Maybe I’ve posted once before? Certainly not regularly. But what keeps me here is how peaceful you seem. I feel so busy. So overwhelmed with my 2 boys and my career and my husband … The list goes on. Sometimes I’m so aware that technology can seem to accelerate my already spinning life. Sometimes it’s a place wheee I can go to have a moment to myself. But here always seems so serene. So I’ll miss you. But maybe, especially starting this new year I need to thi k of how to have serene for myself. A little more. Enjoy.
Beautiful. Everything in my life has been pointing to “Be Still” for a while now. So encouraged by your words! Best wishes with the new cookbook. Can’t wait to see it.
My heart aches for your sadness and introspection. I know you are doing the one thing that is good for you. I will, however, miss your posts.
A wise quilter I follow online posted a similar sentiment about the blogging world being a merry-go-round and needing to get off to catch her bearings. After a break, she came back restored, ready to share again. However long your break is, I hope it is restful, healthful, and full of the people and things you cherish. Thank you for sharing yourself with this enormous online community.
There ya go. My Mom always said “if you don’t take care of yourself neither will anyone else.
Brava. I hope the creative spirits visit you often as you finish the book.
Such a lovely sentiment. Enjoy the quiet time! It is precious.
Beautiful post and photos! Enjoy your quiet (yet busy) time. This was an excellent reminder of whats most important in life. Sharing your gratitude has reminded me of mine. Thanks!
Sounds like an eminently sensible idea to me. I find it hard to put down the iPhone and the laptop, but when I do, life is always the more joyful for it. Enjoy the peace.
Such sanity. Thank you. I am putting on my boots and going for a walk and seeing what the real world is like.
Phenomenal post and you are spot on taking a break. I go 100 miles per hour at all times and during the holidays I just slowed down a bit and I realized that I don’t want to live so “fast” anymore. I need some down time. I don’t need to work less, I just need to work smarter, which will free up my time.
Your post with pictures of family at the shoreline reminded me of a Vimeo I saw a couple of days ago about Josh Vogel’s relationship with the forest; with wood.
Also, on your days away from cyberspace, if you get the chance . . .there’s a documentary (the DVD went nationwide today) called, I Am. http://www.iamthedoc.com/ . . . . . belongingness, presence, love and . . . . that Yes.
Gimme shelter. We totally understand. Chill.
Go have fun! Dance wih your family in the kitchen and on the beach. Take a few deep breaths on the way. You will be missed but definitely enjoy this time off.
Thankyou for the courage to recognize the utter craziness of having to be in constant communication with anyone who will listen. The world has lost the joy of telling stories that have meaning and can be savored for years. Time is endless, except for what God has in mind, so enjoy your time and YOU decide if and when you are happy to return to our lives.
There is great joy in quiet. I was moved by the same article and had some strangely similar moments in my life recently. En-Joy.
I think about this whole blog/twitter thing all the time, even though I do both I too find something about it all disturbing. It’s like this: we have become less and less community oriented as the technology allows us to do. So to make up for not being a part of other people’s lives we first turned to talk shows where we got to listen to other people’s lives and maybe get to see a chair thrown out of true emotion. Then it was reality TV. Then blogs, and twitter. The more we get away from having real lives of worth, we get more interested in the surface of what other people are doing, not only for the community, but so we can feel okay about ourselves. (They said they bought a too-spendy phone today, so I can too, etc.) I think I’ll go compost now :0).
I don’t blame you at all. I love and need peace and quiet, and can happily go for days without seeing anyone, and can feel invaded even by phone calls. Communication via a few blogs is plenty for me. I certainly could not cope with Facebook and Twitter as well. Enjoy the break!!
Good for you!! Enjoy your time off and good luck with the book.
Thanks for sharing all of this time. I’ve felt much in reading your words. Wishing you and your family peace and joy during your quiet.
Of course! I just wrapped up your podcast interview with Joy the Baker (introducing to me to you for the first time). I’m sure you’re doing exactly what needs to be in this moment. Look forward to going back and reading and getting to know you better through your writing.
This is so exciting, Shauna! When you wrote that you were taking a break for the holidays, it made me happy. This additional time makes me ecstatic! Why? For all the reasons you gave in your post. Do it all and die anyway. You must do what you must do that will have more eternal significance. And Lu is a huge part of that. I had to get off Facebook totally. That was a way that I found so many blogs. Lovely places too. But I must limit what I read as you must limit also. Give me the pages to turn. It slows me down. I don’t have to worry about response time. I can put my head back, close my eyes, and take a cat-nap. I can’t do that at my computer. Not the same thing. Some day I may even get rid of the computer. But then I would miss your writing and cooking! You probably won’t even read this, but its made me feel good to write it! Have a blessed time off.
Enjoy your time of quiet, and know that there is no pressure out here from us, that we are content to be, and let you be. Have a wonderful rest.
Good for you Shauna. Be well and enjoy your work.
I know your break will be a busy one but I hope it gives you all you need! I’ve been thinking about the growing presence of social media in my life and trying to find the right balance seems to be the trick. I’m working on it!
You summed up exactly how I feel. The clutter to clear is largely electronic – so many people, things, ideas, bits of information to process. Enjoy being with yourself and your family and absorbing yourself in your work. Your post makes me want to go running to Tofino and sit on the beach and be quiet awhile too. Take care.
When you come back around and read this, I pray you had a wonderful, productive break. It’s funny, this is the second Thoreau reference I’ve seen tonight, just shortly after introducing my 9-yo rabid reader to him.
Oh, and ignore that tweet I sent you about pasta before I knew you were on hiatus.
As much as I love the thought of a clean slate, after the busyness of the holidays, I also love the thought of slowing down, being more connected to where we are right now. I agree with you. Less typing, more tea. See you in February.
I applaud and agree, though I will miss your writing and photos. Enjoy the peace and quiet!
I’m so glad that life is rich for you, and grateful that you share it with all of us who read your blog. I’m also glad that you’ve the wisdom to prefer the richness to the blogging when that choice needs to be made. *smiles* Looking forward to new blogging next month, and enjoying the thought of you busily writing, cooking, loving, and living a full life during your break. Joy to you and yours.
Reading this post made me feel so calm.
Happy ‘every day’ of this new year.
My son was recently diagnosed with a gluten and dairy allergy which went along nicely with his egg and nut allergy. I was feeling overwhelmed by this and started researching on line. I was lead to you. I read your post today about going quiet. It has inspired me to take a major step in my life that I kept fighting due to fear. Crazy how my son’s allergy lead me to you and then this.
Good luck to you. oh and I will run out and buy your book this week.
Good for you! God bless you and enjoy your time. Everyone needs there own sacred grove.
Good for you. After your book is done, you might check out the book Simplicity Parenting. It has really helped me to see the quiet and calm I want in my house for myself and my family and I have been so much happier since reading it. I am pretty unplugged (20 min a day) compared to most people, and I am very calm and happy! Enjoy this time and take as much as you need.
Out of the mouths of babes comes God’s truth. “Put down your phone, Mama.” Bless her little cherub heart. She knew what you needed to do for her and yourself, and she told you.
I’ve always marvelled at how much you share of yourself, your family, your love, your kindness, friendship, etc., etc., etc. Think of how many lives you’ve touched and given hope to. Truly inspiring. If you never shared another word, your wisdom and work will still impact thousands upon thousands of lives offering hope. What more could one ask for?
I think a lot of people have just hit the wall with all this social media. We are here to live our lives and enjoy every second and while sharing and documenting can have their place, it’s a bit out of control. So many of my more self-aware acquaintances are ditching the distractions of Facebook/Twitter, etc. for a return to living in the private, present moment. I’ve never been involved in either in a major extent and even I feel it, so Shauna, I’m with you.
Enjoy, live, breathe and blog occasionally. We’ll understand.
and this, my dear shauna, is why i come here, and have been since before lu, before the red cowboy boots, before danny. because you speak truth, with clarity, grace and punch. and that, my friend, is a rare thing indeed.
not to mention exhausting. take this time, heck, take twice this time, whatever. in the meantime, i’m off to go read pico. and to will a few more beautiful sunsets and beachwalks, wedged into your rich, full, thick upcoming days.
Indeed. Good for you and good luck. See you on the flip side.
I was just looking for a gluten free pie recipe. And i stumbled upon this blog, nicely done, beautiful pictures, recipes seem good. But then i noticed this post, and this post is what will make me a life time reader.
It was beautiful. The feelings.. the words..
And i couldn’t agree more to it.
Good for you – hugs to you and your loves. Priorities become so clear when we have kiddos and truly value those God’s put in our life. Thanks for sharing so freely with all of us.
Love & hugs to you all- enjoy your rest.
I am looking forward to your new cookbook. I have been a quiet but very grateful beneficiary of your life here on the island and I am always surprised when I go some place other than Vashon Thriftway to shop.
We went in to the Hardware Store for our typical Friday night last night after being out of town for the holidays and I was delighted with the new menu. My favorite place is now even better.
Enoy your time away. I find the island brings me to a contemplative place in the winter months, too. A precursor to the fecundity of our spring, perhaps?
Thank you for your beautiful post. It is EXACTLY what my heart has been echoing the past few months in my life and your words were encouragement I needed to hear. So much so, that tears started as I was reading. I totally understand what you are saying and a hearty AMEN! I am glad you will be taking time out and look forward to your new cookbook and it will be open on my counter with food stains all over it, I’m sure!! I appreciate your recipes and all you do to help me figure out how to cook GF! Happy New Year and enjoy the calm!
Hi! I want to express how amazing your site has been in my life. I have been gluten free for almost a year and it was a rocky start. Your words and recipes have given me hope and the drive to start baking again. You were my little pep talk all through the holidays. I even own a scale now, and finally tracked down some sweet rice flour, so I am good to go! Going gluten free changed my life but your willingness to share helped to make that change an easy one.
I look forward to your book, but in the meantime, I will continue to explore the stockpile of recipes and stories you have. A hiatus from you is a welcome challenge for me to dive in to your archives!
Thank you for helping me understand that I don’t have to stop baking and eating like a normal person just because gluten and I don’t get along. What you are doing here is pretty stinkin’ awesome and I am thankful for it.
You have given the gluten free community hope and inspiration for better food. Thank you for the years of taking care of us – now, go take care of yourself and family. Cheers to quiet times and unplugging once and a while!
I get what you’re saying, sometimes a person just has to hunker down and work and keep their head together. My daughter is allergic to wheat and she and her husband constantly experiment with new recipes since she was forced to go gluten free about a year ago. I’m looking forward to your new cookbook and shall recommend them to your site.
What you have said resonates strongly with me. People are so busy communicating now – even if they have nothing at all to say – that they forget to live in the moment. My sister drove 80 miles to see me yesterday and spent the whole visit texting other people. My plumber berated me last week for leaving the house without my mobile phone. I was gone for fifteen minutes and he didn’t need to contact me during that time. I don’t understand why we need to be contactable at all times, but it seems that I’m in the minority. Heaven is a walk on a deserted, wintry, windswept beach with no phone and no time constraints. Wishing you a peaceful, joy-filled break.
Take your time you deserve it. We will be there when you come back.
Big Congrats on your article in Cooking Light!
I think breaks are important. I didn’t see how much time I wasn’t spending with people until I took a good long break and had the time to share with them. Enjoy your quiet time.
Gorgeous pictures – good luck on your cookbook!
Hope all is going well and you are gaining strength from the quiet, or relative quiet with a small child. Just letting you know that you are missed and thought of every time I use one of your recipes.
Forgot to mention, looking forward to the new book!
What a post… what lovely pictures. I wish you the best while you finish up your book… and look forward to owning it. You have helped me with gluten free recipes in the past and I thank you for that.
I love that reminder! Just started the gluten-free journey (I was wheat-free as a kid, but what a difference!), and this site called me right in. I love the stories, the food, and your reminder with this post. Wintertime can be such a good time of collection. A friend of mine talks about patterns of expansion and contraction, and I think there’s a lot to be said for rhythms of life that allow for that.
Enjoy your time. Thanks for all you’ve shared!
I cannot wait until we can return to the West Coast to enjoy some of Danny’s wonderful cooking at the Hardwarestore, and just the chance to have a glimpse of your and Lucy in the corner.
p.s. your photos above were absolutely the most beautiful of any you have shared with us. Thank you!
I applaud you for your wisdom…….. take care of yourself!
Much warmth and love to you.
Taking care of our own needs, self-care and prioritizing what’s important in our lives is becoming more and more of a challenge in this crazy fast-moving world. I’m glad you’re consciously taking a step back to do what you need to do for yourself, your family, and your important commitments.
I keep coming back to reread this post. It’s like there’s too much to absorb in one sitting.
The photographs are amazing, the words inspiring.
Thank-you, and blessings to you and your family.
Oh wow. This whole post just resonates with me. I came here to see what treats I could make gluten free for my boy (and me) and ended up feeling challenged in my real life. You are amazing!
I am also on a huge writing deadline…and I think being quiet is something I desperately need to do…to hear the words. Gosh, I can’t thank you enough for this post. Be well, and enjoy this month of stillness.
Awesome. Hug your kid. Hold her. Hold yourself. Very soothing photos. So. Normal. Best to you.
Oh, I will miss you! But brava! God bless.
And Amen to that. I’ve been feeling the same lately- often do in winter- it’s the introspective season, I think. And enjoying my kids has been high on the list when it comes to quiet. Just taking the time to slow down, sit on the floor, and enjoy them where they are. I didn’t believe it when people said this when my babies were newborns (sleepless nights seem endless after all!), but it really is true: it goes so fast. And I want to be sure I have missed as little as possible. I admire you for making the same choice. It isn’t an easy one in this world.
And I can’t wait for your next cookbook!
Today was my first visit. What a wondeful person a met. I have been taking a break from the “instant” world of communicating that we now live in. My third week without facebook. More time to feel and experience what my life is at any given moment. I have pulled out note cards and stationary too. My mission is to write my feelings down on paper and share it with all the people that are important to me. Words, the good ones sometimes need so much more than a tap..tap. I tell myself, slow down and savour each moment, like you said ” You still die”. I am sorry for your loss. I am happy you have found “joy”. It’s a true gift to ourselves, if we are smart enough to learn what joy is. I like Jamie M’s reply from the 9th. I am a two time cancer survivor and although I have have side effects to deal with now that it’s all done. I am. I am alive. I breath. I smile. I smile more at strangers. I say “hello” while walking past people if our eyes meet. I open doors for people. I give up my place in line. I offer my seat as needed. I do small things for me.
I find the joy in all that I do. I just wish I could get more people to see life through my eyes because it’s amazing…simply amazing. I am going to look around and try some recipes. It sounds like you have a lot very loyal and caring people who read read your blog. That too is a wonderful thing. I wish you the best. Peace, Happiness & Joy.
Well said, Shauna, well said indeed.
I’m so glad you’re taking this time, Shauna. It’s so important. Be well + thinking of you.
Reside in peace, dear friend. You have cheered us on in dreary days and spoken words of joy and life. You take this time to remember what it’s like just… to be (and not to annotate, reiterate, pontificate, or inspire). Just be. And if, by chance, you find yourself content in just being, and never come back, know that what you have already accomplished is enough. YOU are enough. You have been our lovely companion, the neighbor we wished so badly lived next door. And as you retreat to work hard and to find solace in your work, carry with you the assurance that you have fed us well.
Enjoy your space and peace from cyber-noise. Looking forward to your book!
glad to know you are taking time to live your life and not present your life. good luck on the final stretch of the book..i can only imagine the last mile has a greater pull than the first 25.2 one of these days we will have to schedule our little dinner…i’ve got my finger’s crossed for march. hubs and i are moving to north carolina for 6 months come april….
How wonderful and smart and wise. I’m inspired. I fret and worry about not being “out there” enough, while letting many things that matter, that count, that need focused attention, just slide slide slide. I love when you noted the potential epitaph : “She was really good at twitter.” Yep. Got my attention. Thank you for the photos. All good wishes on the work — you will get it done and it will be so very deeply intensely richly good.
I am so happy for you. Taking time to just be is what we all need. And, it is funny. I am so new at blogging and do it to document our family’s story, specifically revolving around our sweet boy with special needs. Before I started blogging, I had never touched any form of social networking. After a few months, I realized that doing it all really is just too much. The important things are making connections and finding our own happiness – whether it be in the noise or in the quiet. So, congratulations for writing such a beautiful post and for being so true to yourself. What a wonderful start to a new year.
I’ve been quiet enough myself that I just now noticed you’ve gone quiet. I’ve taken months off before, both deliberately and not. There’s a lot of value in doing, instead of writing about.
So very beautiful and so very right.
Just stopping by for one of your great recipes (as I often do). I just wanted to say I’ve missed your posts, but I’m also so thankful for the example you’re showing and the time your taking for yourself & your family. I look forward to your return!
I have been reading your site for about a year as I help my husband embrace being GF. We have taken great delight in your stories, in your love, and in your recipes. None moved me quite as much as your essay on going quiet. Thank you for reminding us all what is really important. Our precious daughter, age 23, is sleeping downstairs on a rare visit as I write this. Your young daughter years go by soooo fast. Thank you for stopping. Thank you for honoring her request to put down the phone. Thank you for getting what’s important. And, thank you for your wonderful site, recipes and humor.
I know you are on hiatus, but I had to come and post a message to you. I’ve been a long time reader of your blog, long before I myself had to go gluten free. In fact, it was through your blog and posts that I finally made the connection and pushed for the tests and gave it all up and have never felt better. Thank you a million times thank you. After 6 months of it.. I downloaded your book Gluten Free Girl while I have been home sick these past few days with some nasty respiratory infection. I read it yesterday from cover to cover (well.. as much as you can on your iPad) and I wanted to come and tell you how much I enjoyed it. I am going to buy the next one after our next pay cycle, and I can hardly wait. I hope your month has been restful and rejuvenating.
Wow… what beautiful photos. I don’t blame you for wanting to live those moments in stillness.
Thanks for taking the time to share these lovely photos and your thoughts.
Well said … good luck with the recipes and looking forward to the new cookbook. Take care Shauna!


The Public Inquiry on the future of #TaviPlace finished on 2nd November 2017.
The Council has informed us that the Inspector’s Report is expected in January or February. It will be published by Camden once it has been ‘fact checked’.
The experimental traffic order has been extended to 30th April 2018 to allow time for the Inspector to write his report and for Camden to make its final decision.
Tavi Place Public Inquiry on Camden’s website.
Objectors went first and then supporters, finishing with David Smith for Camden Council.
CCC’s closing submission is here.
Closing submissions from other parties will eventually be posted on the Inquiry page on Camden’s website.
The Inquiry closed at 6pm. The Inspector will send his final report to Camden Council.
We had spent Monday afternoon polishing our questions for the next day’s objectors. Then at about 5:30 pm the Programme Officer sent us a batch of 25 supposedly new documents containing BRAG’s PoEs. The first we looked at (PoE 5) had been completely re-written so we then were diverted into checking the new documents against originals. Eventually we received another email stating where the changes had occurred.
Complained about increased distances for coach journeys (and consequent pollution) but not journey times.
Kerbside access is important for hotels which are competing for business from groups. If a group has to carry its luggage any distance that hotel will not get the business.
His verbal presentation was not recognisable as his documented PoE (e.g. 600% increase in ped “accidents” in Gt R.St).
George interrupted (a brave move) and opened up this problem for discussion.
David Smith, counsel for Camden, said all parties are having difficulties with RMT’s new evidence.
The Inspector asked Alleeson to provide the new evidence for circulation and to stay until after lunch until all parties had time to study the new evidence. When we saw the papers, we decided they were not worth any effort at all.
Smith distributed an extract from the table in Simi Shah Appendix 3 and asked Alleeson whether he has picked out the roads with the highest changes. Alleeson said he picked roads he knows with figures that were too big.
Smith referred to an email from Ms McBride about “extensive modelling”. Alleeson said these details should have been in the consultation.
George questioned Alleeson about his use of Strava to say 3000 people had raced through the corridor, suggesting that he had not understood that many people keep Strava on to record their journeys and note the total distances they travel. Alleeson maintained his position that they are racing.
George questioned Alleeson’s reference to cycling speed as a factor in the occurrence of collisions, pointing out that cyclists crossing junctions have priority over turning vehicles. Alleeson agreed collisions were due to poor judgement but attributed it to both cyclists and drivers. He proposed signalising more junctions.
John questioned Alleeson about his suggestion that at Tavi Square pavement widths on the north side should be increased by reducing those on the south side. JH gave some facts from the Ped Comfort Guidance. Alleeson said it could not be done here and those are just recommendations.
· Bob McIntyre’s PoE 5 re being a local cyclist. BRAG eventually agreed to withdraw this.
· Scarrott’s revised version of PoE 5 (with new data and graphs) BRAG eventually decided to withdraw this.
· Radcliffe’s revised Summary of her PoE 5 re being a local cyclist – was merely some minor rewording so accepted.
Jean questioned the meaning of: “Tavistock Place was a key westbound vehicle route” as to whether this is also a key two-way cycle route across the borough. Pointed out that their route across the borough fails to use SRN/TLRN, suggesting that the motor vehicles should move onto the SRN or TLRN. But they would not agree that would be better.
Jean then tried to get Coates to agree that the proposed changes at Brunswick Square and Midland Road would reduce motor traffic in Judd Street and Hunter Street but didn’t really succeed.
John Hartley (LLS) pointed out that regardless of the length of a queue, two large vehicles would struggle to pass each other on a road that width, with a line of parked vehicles (whether or not they are RNIB vehicles). Judd Street is really only wide enough for 2 lanes and yet it also has a lane of parked vehicles.
Jean pointed out that with the high stats for 2011 & 2012, Camden were justified in doing something. Scarrott “Now, something very interesting happened in 2011. It even got mentioned in the press. There was an increase in the number of accidents. There was a spike. Accidents are, thankfully, rare events. Not a long-term safety issue.” But she did, reluctantly agree that Camden should attempt to bring down the no of accidents.
He prefers cycling alongside traffic going in the same direction. Doesn’t feel safe with traffic coming towards him (as now on S side of Tavi). He feels safe cycling in with the traffic.
Richenda Walford asked: What street do you live in? Judd Street. Do you feel safe cycling on the track on the Embankment? He doesn’t know that but knows Blackfriars Bridge, but did not really answer whether he felt safe there, just repeating that he feels safe in traffic.
She spoke loudly and enthusiastically. Lives in Judd Street.
Richenda Walford asked her about the membership of BRAG and whether they have any members who are in favour of Tavi. She fudged the issue of what membership means (button on website generated 65 members but lots of other contacts such as the petition). RW said “I know of two people who are in favour of Tavi and who joined BRAG” she interrupted and said “that’s you and John” and said something like that email did not mean we were accepted as members. RW said but at the time you said we were members, you’re saying that we are not?
His evidence was partly about his use of roads for business (a hotel) but he also complained that driving his children around the area to Coram Fields and Brownies was taking longer.
Smith picked up “rat runners” asking what that means. They agreed that it meant locals using other routes.
Lives in Judd Street. Described how he takes other routes in order to make his journeys now. Smith, referred back to the question he’d asked Aled Rees “are you one of the rat-runners Rees referred to?” Answer was “well, yes, I suppose so”.
Said there are various ways of estimating journey times: Google Maps; look at map and count number of traffic lights. Regarding the estimates given in the PoE by people at UCLH, she’s not sure how reliable they are. The range of variation is large. She questioned the journey times given in Mr. Bexon’s letters. She did two taxi rides herself. A journey which, reportedly, used to take 20 mins took 10 in the taxi. Another one went from 20 to 13. Smith asked her to agree that therefore we should treat Bexon’s figures with “utmost caution”. She asked for brownie points for this! And kept repeating that journeys are now more complex and do take longer.
George changed his prepared Questions into a ‘thank you’ for her candidness and agreed with her that we need to compare like with like, need to clarity on whether all the getting in and out of the vehicle at start and end of journeys are being included in UCLH timings, or not.
Richenda asked. In your proof, you write: “But generally, picking up and dropping off is now impossible on the south side.” Are you aware that it is still perfectly legal to stop for as long as necessary to set down or pick up passengers? Scarrott’s responded that taxis don’t do what the law allows.
Richenda: you write: “The difficulty is worse on the north side because cars and other vehicles cannot get to the kerb at all, in an emergency.” Are you aware that the kerb on the north side, separating the cyclists from the motors will be removed? Scarrott confirmed that she knows that kerb will be removed but residents are very annoyed with how badly Camden has responded to their difficulties.
Presentation on the flaws in the consultation and Camden’s rejection of all his FoI requests. He has reported problems to the Information Commissioner who is examining how the consultation was run and Camden’s failure to provide raw data when requested. At the end of speech Smith announced that hot off the press he had a hand-written note that the IC has upheld Camden’s decisions.
Coates queried why the standards which we all insist should be applied so stringently to Tavi were not being applied equally to Judd.
Jean asked a few questions but Coates is very good at not answering and saying what she wants to say. But when Jean pressed home on the question about a “fair share of the space”. [Before the trial cycles had a 43% modal share with 13% of the road width; and motors a 16% modal share with 43% of the road width.] Coates was unable to reply.
Jean questioned unbanning the left turn at Marchmont when this was for safety reasons. Coates referred to Simon Munk’s comments about attention to junctions and said that since things had changed since the ban this junction should be looked at again.
Jean asked how we could return to 14 years ago now that there are now so many more cyclists. Coates managed to confuse this with the doubt over the 52% increase during trial and so failed to answer question about whether it would encourage new cyclists.
❡1: Massett used to work as cabbie, works with TfL and boroughs concerning taxi ranks, major schemes, HS2; LTDA has 10,500 members, very aware of needs of disabled, who need black cabs as other PHVs are not as well equipped; 25,000 black cab drivers, 21,000 cabs.
❡2: before the trial, the corridor was a major artery for cab routes (he didn’t mention it’s also a major cycling artery!). Destinations include all the hospitals in the area: GOSH, UCH, Queen Sq, Huntley St, EGA, etc and 20 major hotels.
❡4: Human rights of disabled violated w.r.t accessibility (i.e. crossing the road).
❡5: Criticises Camden for counting only Camden holders of Taxi Card.
❡7,9,10-12, 13 : Effect of longer and costlier journeys on low income families; elderly and disabled; refers to ambulances and increases in journey times (doesn’t mention those that were quicker).
❡8: All about the taxi bay at the Hotel: Massett managed to drop in ‘dangerous behaviour of cyclists’ before a long description of deploying wheelchair ramps etc and their projecting into cycle track. Claimed that off-loading a wheelchair user takes 7 minutes. Same time for pick-up; All the aids (ramp swivel seat) are on near side.
Opposed to having taxi bay on N side of TaviPlace.
Opportunities for disabled to cycle? His wheelchair customers and those that use stick are unlikely to cycle.
Pollution: Drivers have been complaining for a long time about the AQ in London .
Right turn from Euston Road into Melton Street: has been discussed with TfL, HS2 and will not be agreed.
❡16-18: LTDA preferred solution: put cyclists into narrower lanes to slow them down and make the road safer.
With HS2 development where will the Euston Stn rank be? Next year at west end of Euston Square Gardens, then at east end, then Cobourg St, then in final position over a 15 year period.
Prefers the BRAG solution (narrow footways and cycle lanes and two way motors in narrow lanes).
Prefer 2-way motors in mid section to (2).
Smith’s questions and our comments in italic. All questions and responses paraphrased and abbreviated.
Who wrote your SoC, PoE and PoE summary? The association’s lawyer.
Did you work with Unite and ILHL? Worked with Unite and had one discussion with ILHL 3 weeks ago.
❡18 your concern is all about getting to Euston Station, not the mobility-impaired: That is very important.
SoC p2 Taxi rank issues – why did hotel reject rank on northern side?: it would avoid some difficulties but the passenger would need to cross the road. And much better outside hotel. No statutory obligation to help passenger to destination.
How many wheelchair users come to hotel?: Even if only one, should provide facility to drop off.
How many wheelchair accessible rooms in hotel? I don’t know (understandably). But numbers are not the issue. I have never seen the concierge (who Russell claimed would help people come into the hotel).
There’s a similar issue with wheelchair access to taxis at other points along the route and could be a problem anywhere? Yes.
There’s always scope to set down/pick up at nearby kerb? But at door is better.
”Not many taxi wheelchair hirings take place” and “driver may not carry a wheelchair for several years after training”.
In your claims about timing and in your video of the driver dropping the passenger in Herbrand Street you have overstated the situation…. It was not intended to be exaggerated.
When you put down in the old layout, could motors pass your cab, even when there was a queue on the other side including HGVs? Yes, I don’t recall any problems even with large lorries.
LTDA’s separate consultations don’t have identical questions to Camden’s and has leading questions so responses can’t be included with Camden’s consultation? Consultation unfair and taxi drivers and passenger’s views should be taken into account.
LTDA say ‘patient’s views should be taken into account’ yet 91% of hospital patients who responded were taxi drivers or passengers: 49% of hospital patients travel in taxis as passenger or driver.
What are your issues with cyclists? Cycling should be made as safe as possible but on this route they should not be given such priority over over others. The vast majority are able-bodied.
Is Camden ignoring cyclists in protected groups? Cyclists are not a protected group (he probably didn’t understand).
You think protected groups are not using the tracks? Cyclists are generally being given preference.
What about cyclists in the protected groups? There’s a very small number of disabled cyclists.
But numbers are not really the issue , as you said earlier?
The width is about 16m with 3m motor lanes and 2m cycle lanes: the design is by the Hotel’s traffic consultant.
I speak as a 79 year old cyclist, a member of one of the protected groups who has benefited from the improved facilities.
We note that there are no PHV operators represented here, not Uber, not Addison Lee, none of them. Their businesses use the same road network that black cabs use. And you claim that the scheme is causing substantially longer journey times on that road network. If the operators agreed surely they would be here too? I imagine they have the same experiences but they tend not to get involved.
Do you support Mayor/TfL aim (as in MTS) to take steps to improve conditions for cycling: Yes, but not at the expense of other modes that need to be there.
Section 36 – In Section 36 you list your preferences among the alternatives listed by Camden in CD 6-2-D. Your preference for this scheme has reduced provision for pedestrians and cyclists; do you think it would encourage people to take up cycling and walking? The reduction in road capacity has gone too far, and the BRAG scheme is an improvement over the two-way track.
Massett suggested shared space as a solution to the lack of room for his two-way in middle section.
Issues include congestion, air quality, travel times, he had no problems with the previous two-way track; environmental impacts.
David Smith: Before and after flows in Guilford Street actually show a reduction.
David Marchant’s introduction referred to taxi journeys being twice as long and costing twice as much, taxis to hospital having to use the congested Euston Road.
David Marchant’s main points referred to the junctions of TaviPlace with Woburn Place and Bedford Way: he wants the signals to give more time to N-S traffic and the left turning cycle lanes to be narrowed.
David Smith pointed out that Simi Shah’s evidence as well as subsequent discussions with the ILHL witness had fully covered these points: if the scheme is made permanent, the signals will be optimised and the traffic lanes improved.
Richard Walker spoke at length about small details of which the placement of tactile paving was the most prominent. Others referred to the original metal bollards (which were swiftly taken out), the orcas and the stop line at Judd Street being so far back.
David Smith pointed out that the orcas will go when the scheme is made permanent, that some were removed where footfall is high and then went on about how commonly they are used – he’s seen more than I have. As to the tactile: he gave far too much time to this.
Peter Rose covered many topics including bus lanes, congestion, West End project.
He says that TaviPlace is not traffic management or infrastructure.
Camden has turned down having a cab rank in Endsleigh Gardens.
David Smith noted that Camden has objected to having a cab rank in Endsleigh Gardens but that it was not their decision.
He then asked whether a return to two-way working was Unite’s final position. Peter Rose stated that the trial scheme should be scrapped.
John’s questions in italic and answers normal text.
Does your witness statement have the support of the Executive Council of Unite the Union? Only the cab section.
Is the Cab Section’s opposition to the Torrington Place — Tavistock Place scheme shared by the Union? Only the Cab Section.
Does the Cab Section support TfL’s Healthy Streets initiative? Yes, we want everybody’s needs taken into account.
On page 8 you discuss taxi ranks at Euston Station during HS2 work? We are involved in the planning and there will be a temporary rank in Euston Square Gardens.
Are you in discussion with TfL and Camden about access to the “garden” taxi rank and does this include either access from Eversholt Street or a right turn off Euston Road? The right turn is currently denied. A rank nearer to Eversholt Street will be coming at a later stage.
They suggest that a westbound trial be introduced but asked that this should be done after the completion of the WEP so that the full effect of WEP could be determined.
He considers that micro-simulation is more appropriate for this complex busy inner city area.
does evidence include benefits of active travel modes?
Sees advantages in both WB and EB schemes but concern about displacement to other roads.
considering all turn movements, which is safer WB or EB?
On being questioned about the benefits of the segregated tracks, Russell reaffirmed his written evidence that there were benefits to cyclists from the proposed scheme (improved version of current layout). He endorsed those benefits and confirmed that to deliver them there must be two segregated cycle tracks of appropriate width according to LCDS guidelines. He agreed that this can only be achieved with a single lane of motor traffic (along most of the corridor at least), though he flagged up issues with safety at junctions. On being asked about the direction of motor traffic flow, he repeated that it should be westbound, not eastbound as in the current trial.
There followed a long discussion about taxi access to the hotel for wheelchair users and other mobility-impaired people (who don’t require a ramp to exit the taxi). This is a key motivation for ILHL’s preference for westbound motor traffic because the westbound direction makes wheelchair access from a black cab straightforward via the standard on-board ramp.
Further discussion led to a discussion about safety when taxis enter the taxi rank. Russell agreed that whether the motor traffic goes eastbound or westbound, taxis will have to cross the westbound cycle track to reach the taxi bay, but held to his claim that it would be easier for a cyclist to see and avoid a taxi crossing the track when the taxi was travelling in the same direction (westbound) than if it were travelling eastbound, facing the cyclist (as in the current layout). We expressed our surprise at that and agreed to differ.
He was asked whether he considered it entirely the responsibility of the cyclist to avoid the taxi and replied that he did not. When asked to consider the position from the taxi driver’s point of view he claimed that the driver would be ‘more aware’ of a cyclist on his/her left flank than one approaching from in front. A long and deliberate pause followed!
There followed a lot of discussion of the traffic impacts of the westbound versus the eastbound option, too detailed to reproduce here with Mr. Russell sticking to the view that there would be less displaced traffic (agreed). He agreed that this was partly because the option moves westbound traffic to Tavistock/Torrington Place. But he denied that it would produce a lot more traffic on Torrington Place.
Their objections were about inconvenience for residents (Lankarani, Riach), intrusiveness (Tugnutt), displaced traffic and lack of a westbound route for Islington motorists (Gwinnell).
Professor Duncan Laxen continued to be taken through his evidence on his interpretation of the Air Quality data. Overnight Camden had prepared additional data and this was reviewed. Cross-examination followed – Camden chose not to cross-examine, we cross-examined on a few points.
John Russell (Traffic Consultant) then testified on the traffic implications of the scheme and also an alternative scheme proposed by the Hotel where the motor traffic flow is reversed, i.e. travels westbound. He agreed that the Camden traffic model was fit for purpose.
To be continued – we will be cross-examining again on Tuesday.
Jason Strelitz (Deputy Dir. For Public Health, Camden and Islington) gave evidence on the heath benefits of the scheme, particularly as it related to active travel, and its consistency with Camden and London policy. He was cross-examined by the barrister for the Hotel but not the LTDA barrister. BRAG asked a number of questions about traffic displacement onto neighbouring streets.
Following this, Adam Webber (Senior Sustainability Officer) gave his testimony on Air Quality. He was heavily cross-examined by both opposition barristers on perceived inadequacies in the methodology used by Camden to evaluate air quality before and during the trial and by BRAG who focussed on displacement to neighbouring streets. The Russell Square association also asked a number of questions about monitoring and traffic levels in the Square.
Professor Duncan Laxen (Managing Director, Air Quality Consultants Ltd) was taken through his evidence on his interpretation of the Air Quality data. He had been involved in major projects including the Baker Street/Gloucester Place 2-way scheme and numerous construction projects.
Forrest (barrister for LCDA) agrees that it is still feasible to get to UCH. But according to Mr Carter (who gave evidence for Camden) Google is not an accredited source of data for journey times is it? Jean said she’d rather cover this point when she presents George Coulouris’s evidence later today. Have the opposition exaggerated journey times? Jean resisted having words put into her mouth and said she had no opinion on that.
Coates (BRAG) quoted the Dept of Transport as saying that the way to assess journey times is to travel the journey. Jean said that she thought that may have been written a very long time ago. Q: why were the journey times taken on 1 August, was it because that’s when the colleges break up? Is traffic lower then? A: Jean said that that’s when the first set of reading were collected because that’s when it was done, but there are other readings done more recently. And yes traffic probably is lower then. Q: Judd St – how much is thru traffic? Jean agreed that this information seems not to be available but a trial would be a good way of finding out. Jean referred to some Aldred research that indicates that on streets with no thru traffic numbers are about 1,000 a day. This would obviously vary with the length of the street and the number of flats etc. That compares with Judd having about 7,000 per day. Jean also referred to the traffic lights being the cause of the jams.
John Chamberlain (re-examination) asked whether Google data is better than anecdotal evidence. A: Yes. And will Coulouris evidence have more journey time information? A: Yes.
Forrest: what does “very scary incident” mean. A: People were asked to classify on a scale, 0 = not scary at all. 3 = very scary. While criticizing the 2-way motors alternative Rachel referred to “dynamic envelope” Forest asked what this meant and summarised Rachel’s explanation as “wobble-room” but the real point is that due to the dynamic envelope cargo bikes etc. cannot be expected to pass each other safely on a track where they apparently might fit side-by-side.
Coates: Is safety a key factor for whether the trial should be approved? Rachel would agree was that it was a key factor but there are many others such as active travel.
John Chamberlain: Is junction safety also critical? Yes and needs to properly analysed and measured. Would the 2-way motors lead to more turns and so more junctions? Yes. And to more traffic? Yes and that would lead to more risk of injury to peds and cyclists.
George Coulouris (CCC) Evidence on measured journey times from Google (given by Jean Dollimore). No questions from Forrest. Coates queried the tool. They have read https://traffictool.rgp.me.uk/ and pointed out that it has been designed for use by cycle campaigners; that it may be used to “Opportunistically collect data while a road is partially or totally closed” and that “the estimate can’t take account of extra congestion caused by re-allocated traffic”. This all got a bit lost and was not properly discussed. Jean pointed out that most people use Google estimates for journey times all the time and that Camden at this PI have also used Google to provide journey times. Coates tried hard to get Jean to criticise their witnesses (who have not yet given their evidence) for providing false journey times. She claimed that real life differs from Google data. Jean replied that Google data is real life and is not based on modelling. She re-iterated that she did not want to cast aspersions on their witnesses.
Chamberlain gave Jean an opportunity to make it clear that Google “estimates” are generated by the analysis of real time active measurements.
Inspector asked whether the data in GC’s report was just for car journeys. Yes. Inspector: Google can differentiate between cars and bikes? Yes.
Jeremy Till (Head of Central St Martins) testified about the importance of safe cycling routes for students.
Forrest asked about reduction in numbers in hols. Till said not much reduction.
Coates: is safety one of the main reasons, etc (same question). Till’s response was very powerful. They have lost 2 students lives through cycling collisions including one promising fashion design killed at KX gyratory. This loss of life is very hard for the head of a college and he has to come and appear at this PI, it’s his duty to be here and do what he can to get safe cycling provision. Very powerful testimony.
Forrest queried the leafleting used in the campaign, specifically how many were handed out and to whom. With John Hartley’s help the questions were answered. Forest tried to say that obviously those you leafleted were cyclists so of course they signed up. Gareth pointed out that they were not just given to cyclists and in any case the leaflet recipient then had to speak to people in his organisation and get it discussed, etc. before any senior person would send a letter of support. This was not a consultation? Agreed. Forest and Gareth jointly agreed that petitions would always tend to generate responses in support.
Richenda Walford (CCC) presented her evidence on the former two-way cycle track with a viewing of the video we made in 2013.
She then listed the drawbacks illustrated in the video.
Coates: BRAG agrees with the problems of 2-way tracks and does not want to revert to it.
Richenda: understands that it is the inspector’s job to decide whether to keep it or not.
Richenda then presented her evidence on one days observations of the level of congestion in Judd Street. She made the point that the inspector should be warned of any witness who shows videos that fail to show that Judd Street is congested only occasionally.
Forrest (LTDA): Q: Section 2.3 of PoE quotes 2.5 m width for one-way cycle track. Isn’t that an aspiration rather than a requirement? A: I imagine this judgement was made by planners as a way of future-proofing the scheme.
Q: Section 5. Taxi access to the front door and to adjacent streets is not the same. A: I’m sure everyone would like access direct to their front door but that’s just not practical.
Q: Do you not agree that as much accommodation as possible should be made. A: See previous answer. And the quality of the pavement is very important.
Q: Official inclusivity guidance suggests rest spots every 50 metres. If this can’t be provided would you still support the scheme. A: Hypothetical question – cannot answer. Q: Repeated. A: It will be important to look at overall provision.
Coates (BRAG) Q: We have people who cannot walk more than one or two metres. Shouldn’t provision be made for the least mobile? A: Not always possible. Anyway, people using bikes can frequently get closer than people in motors and equipment is available for all levels of disability.
Q: What about people who have no capacity to ride? A: WfW provides for all.
Coates: Q: Are you saying you would not want to revert to the old scheme? A: Absolutely not!
Will Norman (TfL Walking and Cycling Commissioner) presented his evidence, linking the scheme to the Mayor’s Transport Plan and pointing out the more equitable distribution of road space with the scheme in compared to before.
Forrest (barrister for taxi drivers) asked questions about other options and also about funding. Good answers from WN.
Nicky Coates of BRAG raised issue of displaced traffic making longer journeys and so creating more pollution. WN says evidence shows otherwise and that TfL are addressing strategic issues through measures such as the ULEZ and T charge.
Walker (independent) asked about the split of budgets for pedestrians vs cyclists? WN: not split so can’t answer.
John Bailey (University of London, Head of Sustainability) presented his evidence based on three surveys of staff, all very supportive of the scheme.
Coates: Asked Q1 (see above). Bailey said he would find it surprising and would be concerned for the safety of the staff and students.
Prof. Andrea Sella (UCL) stated that the changes had been ‘transformational’ and was ‘wildly popular’ amongst students and staff.
Forrest: Questions on student numbers and the extent to which they drop during hols. Answer: they go down in the hols by about 35%.
Coates: Qs about how Sella decided to support the scheme – based on Camden’s data wasn’t it? But this started a trend whereby Coates asked a question and the witness took it as a springboard to either restate their own points or, even better, bring in new evidence supporting the trial. Sella was excellent: active travel mind-set needed; benefits of active travel outweigh the disbenefits of air pollution.
John Hartley (London Living Streets) gave the pedestrians’ point of view, emphasising Walking to School, countering air pollution, pavement parking, safe crossings and 20 mph zones. The scheme supports all of these.
Coates: She used to take a child to Collingham Nursery and the route included Judd St so the pollution on that route has got worse not better. A: can’t comment on that route. Q: the displaced traffic is now stop-start in Judd – doesn’t that make it more dangerous to cross the road? A: it’s faster and easier to cross a road with slow moving traffic than one where you have to wait for a gap in fast moving traffic. Q: do you support alternative schemes? Hartley referred to the Inspector only having the choice of old scheme or the trial with minor modifications WB would bring more traffic so not supported. Coates said that local residents should be the most important consultees. Hartley pointed out that if all decisions on transport in London were made by the residents in small local areas then there would never be any improvements.
Walker: Asked for more info on pavement parking in Tavi before the trial. Hartley gave it. Expected question re….. tactile paving! Hartley said he was no expert and thought LLS would defer to RNIB. Walker pointed out that Hartley’s quote from Camden’s evidence of 0 collisions has been corrected because there had been 1 pedestrian casualty.
Argued in favour because it reduces traffic on the west end of Torrington Place especially once two-way traffic on Gower Street comes in under the West End Project (“WEP”).
Forrest asked about the WEP and their opposition to it. Henderson believes the trial came about in response to the locals objections to the increase in traffic in Torrington Place.
Coates: asked a few questions including that stand Q1 but achieved nothing.
Simon Munk (Infrastructure Campaigner, LCC) emphasized the importance of the scheme and the problems with all of the alternatives, none of which had had any junctions evaluated.
Forrest asked about one alternative – 2-way motors, bikes each side. Munk disagreed that this would be improvement on old scheme. Widths too narrow for cycle track & pavements too narrow. Would not boost active travel. Also discussed bidirectional tracks pointing out that they can be made safe but width and junction treatments are crucial. In response to question about partial two-way motor working Munk said the design of the track is important for both perceived and real safety and that any scheme needs to be continuous and coherent else the benefits on part of it can be worthless.
Coates: You say you represent cyclists but cyclists have different points of view. Munk replied yes, but he would really like to be representing the people who don’t yet cycle at all because the facilities are not there for them. He understood that the Q was about the fact that yes, some cyclists claim to prefer to cycle in with the traffic but he and LCC are promoting what has been hugely successful elsewhere and is international best practice – dedicated cycle tracks. Q: did LCC advise Camden prior to the trial? Munk said this was before his time. Discussion about modal shift to active travel. Munk said large potential for shift. Coates said that inner London was different to the suburbs and people here needed to use their cars on all sorts of journeys. Munk agreed the shift opportunities vary across areas but there are always lots of opportunities. Discussion about whether traffic in Judd is through traffic. Munk said yes of course it is. Munk said that we have to aim for “low traffic neighbourhoods”. This is the direction London is going, and has to go. Discussion referring to Brunswick and Midland closures and how residents might object to these. Munk raised Waltham Forest and it being a balance. Coates referred to the BRAG petition. Munk said he’s run lots of petitions in his time and of course you get the answer you want, that’s what they are for. Brief mention of suggested westbound motor traffic scheme. Munk said more traffic just makes for a hostile environment. Thru traffic should be removed completely to main roads, with an area-based approach. Close the other routes so all the residents in the area benefit. Q: What is a safe speed for cyclists on Tavi? A: With the old scheme there was no safe speed because it was too crowded. Collisions are extremely rare and those that do occur normally involve motors. Q about the Strada app and its league table: Munk said yes some cyclists do use this and most roads in London appear on it. The high speeds are often the result of gaming the app. Those that use it tend to be the fit, fast and fearless and what the trial aims to do is change the profile of the people who use the route, to be more like that in Europe. We need a more diverse profile. Q: Camden and LCC approve of cyclists overtaking each other which means you are encouraging fast speeds. A: Providing the ability to overtake actually allows for the route to accommodate a more diverse range of people and increases the capacity of the route. To assess whether the route is safe or not what counts is collisions.
Gave a succinct but inspiring account of cycling with children on bikes and in a cargo bike.
Forrest: how wide is your cargo bike? 89cm, 3ft. this together with the weight means Chico cannot go fast so he needs the width to allow others to overtake. It was much more dangerous before.
Inspector: your 2nd paragraph suggests you’d like all traffic removed. A: It would be much nicer if it was like Lambs Conduit St.
Inspiring account covering use of the route for commuting to work, delivering children to school, countering inactivity and many other issues. Excellent collection of comments from Islington and Hackney residents who cycle.
Coates: What is the result if a cyclist feels it is safe and actually it’s not safe? TT queried this odd question and said that it seemed safe because it was safe. Question re network of routes for emergency vehicles. A: many 1st responders are now using bikes. Roads are gridlocked anyway regardless of cycle tracks. Blue light vehicles have been seen using Cycle Super highways and that works – the bikes just get out of the way.
David Carter of SYSTRA in the witness box for Camden. Continuation of tough, detailed questioning from Imperial Hotels’ counsel (Tim Comyn).
Mr Russell (the hotel owner) wants to see the results of the modelling carried out in late 2016, but Carter says this modelling was intermediate, no report was produced and so there is nothing to show other than what is in his PoE. Similarly debate about 2017 modelling. Better modelling has been done since.
Question: When was your ONE model fit for purpose?
Answer: It was fit for an initial assessment in late 2016, and has improved significantly since.
Calibration was done but validation not, which is normal for an intervention of this scale. For example King’s X gyratory would probably justify the expense of validation. TfL are happy that the model is fit for purpose. Independent traffic count date is currently being used to validate the model.
Questions about reports of queues on Woburn Place. This is all anecdotal apart from a one-day survey paid for by Imperial Hotels with no measurements prior to the trial.
As evidenced by Tony Dichev yesterday, the bus actual journey time data does not support this anecdotal evidence.
Forrest (for LTDA) then questioned Carter, mostly about queuing on Bedford Way and Woburn Place making it unsafe for taxis to drop off.
The extent to which the corridor is residential. TS reported 22 thousand on the electoral roll. Carter admitted that his modelling did not differentiate between residents and non-residents.
Whether Carter has used the data generated by the consultation. Carter could see no way in which he could have used that data in his modelling.
Had Carter used journey time surveys? No. Had Carter used queue length surveys? No – because traffic queues are notoriously difficult to analysis since they are so volatile. Had Carter used number plate survey (to differentiate between local and passing through)? No.
During David Smith’s (Camden’s barrister’s) re-examination a few points were clarified. Carter re-iterated that the model was fit for purpose and met the calibration requirements.
in Judd Street, the intermittent occurrences of congestion are most likely caused by SCOOT (the TfL adaptive traffic control system) in action on the signals at the Judd Street/Euston Road junction.
This was followed by evidence from Tony Dichev, Lead Modelling Specialist at Transport for London (TfL). He stated that SYSTRA’s model was developed under his guidance and is ‘fit for purpose’.
TfL constantly monitor bus routes crossing the corridor and that a slight impact can be seen but it is hard to attribute to the trial.
In the afternoon session David Carter of SYSTRA gave his evidence. His report is about modelling work commissioned by Camden in April 2016. He gave a presentation of figures in his report showing a graphical representation of the changes of traffic levels in streets in the area predicted by the models for a variety of scenarios including removing the trial and reversing the trial.
Comyn’s questioning took up the remainder of the afternoon and at the end, he said he would need another hour on Friday. Comyn’s questions were mainly with reference to statements in Mr Russell’s evidence on behalf of ILHL, seemingly with a view to discrediting the modelling work, for example by constant referral to ‘errors’ in the model while ignoring David Carter’s very clear statement that models are rarely calibrated from Day 1 and that calibrating a model is an ongoing activity.
Cross-examination of Louise McBride, Head of Transport Strategy, LB Camden continued for an hour, mainly by a representative of the Bloomsbury Conservation Area Advisory Committee. He made assertions that revealed amazing anti-cycling prejudices – e.g. he proposed a 10 mile an hour speed limit for cycles because ‘they are more manoeuvrable than cars’ and ‘Bloomsbury is one of the most important conservation areas in the country’.
Most of the day was occupied with evidence and cross-examination of Simi Shah, Design Team Manager, LB Camden. She made many valuable points, setting out what is involved in designing a safe and attractive cycling and walking route. She stood up well to relentless cross-examination from two professional counsels. Tim Comyn, counsel for Imperial Hotels sought to pick holes in her statistical evidence and some details about the hotel taxi rank. Then tried to get her to agree that Westbound motor traffic would be fine. She rejected that on the substantially higher traffic levels it would induce, especially on Torrington Place.
Comyn also tried to pick holes in the advice given to Councillor Phil Jones before his decision to agree the experimental scheme. He persuaded her to accept that a reversal of the motor traffic would be ok ‘on geometric grounds’ and that the inspector might therefore recommend it. The counsel for Camden immediately objected to that because the answer was ‘a matter of law’. The Inspector appeared to support the objection though he didn’t say he would ignore that interaction.
Mr Forrest (for LTDA) than went on at length about the fact that universities have holidays and that the cycle counts on Tavi Place were taken only in term time. He argued that the entire student and staff bodies of UCL (50,000 people) would disappear for 140 days a year. Simi correctly argued that the provision for cycling and walking should address the normal peak demand, not the annual average. He repeatedly demanded that she agree with his point of view, so many times that eventually the inspector intervened say ‘I think Ms. Shah has given you her answer’.
In the response to several suggestions that the cycle track and footway widths could be modified in some sections to accommodate the oppositions proposals Simi Shah made the important point that to make the scheme attractive enough for people to change travel modes to walking or cycling the levels of service for pedestrians and cyclists must be maintained at the same high level throughout the corridor.
The PI is already well behind its anticipated schedule.
Occupied with the evidence and cross-examination of Louise McBride, Head of Transport Strategy, LB Camden. Cross exam was 2 hrs of tough, detailed questioning from Imperial Hotels’ counsel (Tim Comyn), about an hour from the LTDA barrister (Mr Forrest) and another 45 mins from BRAG spokesperson (Nicky Coates).
the opposition spokespeople are well-briefed – as was to be expected with the huge document base (almost all available online). They go into details that may not appear very relevant, but its all building up a barrier to sensible thinking that the inspector must see over.
We need to counter with plenty of evidence from sensible people, equally well-informed and with carefully-prepared cross-examination material to confront the opposition.
Imperial Hotels are pushing very hard on the ‘reverse the scheme (i.e. to motors should go westbound)’ line, with the typical barrister’s method of gaining ground inch-by-inch. They may have gained a bit today.
LTDA are pushing hard on disability rights and taxis’ ability to satisfy them.
BRAG are arguing that it’s the locals who matter and are questioning evidence that motor journey times remain reasonable despite the scheme.
The Public Inquiry on the future of Camden’s Tavistock Place cycling scheme opened at 10 am on Tuesday 10th October at Camden Town Hall, Judd Street, London WC1H 9LP and is expected to run for 3 or 4 weeks. The Inquiry will be held in the Council Chamber and attendance is open to the public. It will sit between 10 am and 5 pm Tuesdays to Thursdays and 10-1 on Fridays for 3 to 4 weeks.
The Inquiry promises to be a key event in the campaign for safe and attractive infrastructure for cycling and walking in Camden and throughout London. We welcome the presence of cycling campaign supporters, especially when our own witnesses are giving their evidence (probably for a couple of days beginning about the middle of the second week). The evidence to be presented for the other supporting parties promises to be very valuable and interesting too, especially that of LB Camden.
Mr Martin Elliott, BSc FIPROW, an independent inspector, has been appointed to conduct the Inquiry. Camden Council is maintaining a web page to hold the voluminous documentation that has been prepared by the Council, the other supporters of the scheme and the objectors.
The Inquiry will have a quasi-legal format with each supporter and objector stating their case and then calling witnesses to provide detailed evidence in support of their case. All supporters and objectors are required to produce a written Statement of Case and those can now all be found on the Inquiry web page. The witnesses are also required to produce Proof of Evidence documents. Nearly all the Proof of Evidence documents now seem to be on the Inquiry web page (Sat 7 Oct).
Camden’s Statement of Case and Statements of Evidence are all on the Inquiry web page and are well worth reading. The first two witnesses set out the policy and engineering arguments that led to the scheme in convincing detail and the remaining four discuss important aspects of traffic modelling, air quality and the public health benefits of cycling and walking.
The outcome of the Inquiry seems likely to have wide significance for the future of cycling provision throughout London and more widely. We are determined to do everything we can to persuade the Inspector to come to the right decision.